There For You
Chapter 22: Conversation (Dual chapter title and AN name)
Author's Note: Hey, I'm finally updating! I'm really sorry for being gone so, so long but I was really busy and having writer's block, which I am still experiencing but I have a full chapter here. Hope you enjoy it!
(This is the new symbol signaling the beginning of the chapter since it was asked I make it clear when AN's end and the chapter begins.)
Harry followed Lupin to his office. It looked the same, for the most part, as it had been in third year. Harry liked that. It felt comfortable and familiar. Harry sat in the chair across from Lupin.
"How was your discussion with the Headmaster?"
"Not great."
"I know. Times are dangerous now. We must all do everything we can to protect ourselves and those we care for. How is Miss Weasley?"
"Fine so far. I left her when she was sleeping. She has to stay in bed for a while though."
"Understandable. The Cruciatus Curse is difficult to endure and I imagine she received it more than once." Harry nodded.
"I was afraid she was almost dead when I found her." His voice cracked as he remembered seeing her lying on the floor of the Riddle House.
"Harry, I want to apologize to you." Harry cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
"What for?"
"Various things. I am of course sorry for the burden you carry as Voldemort's only true opponent. That cannot be changed though. The other thing I'm sorry for can be however. This thing is not talking to you about Sirius' death. I know I offered you the chance to talk at Christmas but you never came to me. I should have spoke to you sooner, like last summer, and encouraged you to talk to me. I'm sure you've held in a lot of feelings about his death that should have been brought out. I should have made the effort by telling you how I felt but I wasn't sure I could do it. How silly is it to expect a teenager to express his emotions when a grown man can't?" Harry stared at him, unsure what to say. Lupin shook his head.
"I know, you did not expect this from me. I'm sure you never even thought about it but why would you? I am not, a relative, godfather, or a close friend like Ron or Hermione. To you I am a teacher and a very old friend of your father but that is why it should have been me to talk to you. I knew your father and Sirius the best when we were growing up. I could have had some comforting words or served as a listening ear. Why did I not come to you or write then?" Harry was still lost for words. "I didn't know what to say to you or how I would act. I have lost all of my childhood friends since Sirius' death. Yes, Peter is still alive but his worth as a human is not high and I never wish to be friends again, obviously. It was difficult when I thought Sirius was a murderer and Peter had been killed but to find out Sirius was innocent and there for me to see and talk to again was an incredibly uplifting experience. Now, I have lost him again and didn't know how to handle it immediately after. I will admit more than a few tears were shed mourning his loss and thinking of the person I wished I could talk with, you. I wasn't sure I could handle a deep conversation with you though so I remained a chicken and never brought it up with you, save for Christmas but I knew you wouldn't come to me. I am still not a confidante for you. I wish I was." Harry inhaled but an intelligent reply didn't form.
"I think it would be nice if you came to my office once or twice a week and we talked about Sirius, your parents, your own life, anything you wish. You can ask me questions about my years with the other Marauders. What do you say? Over the summer we can continue talking seeing as I'll be living with you in Grimmauld Place." Lupin looked at him. "Do you have any thoughts on my proposal?"
"I-that would be great. I don't really know what to say." Lupin nodded, a small smile on his face.
"I understand. I just dropped a load of information and thoughts in your lap. I'm glad you would like to talk though. Shall we set up a regular time for you to come visit?" Harry nodded and they discussed convenient times for both.
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk about the events at the Riddle House if you would be comfortable with it sometime," Lupin mentioned.
"Yeah, that'd be fine."
"Excellent. Have a good day, Harry. See you day after tomorrow." They shook hands and Harry walked out of his office.
Back to Harry talking to Ron from previous chapter. He just told this conversation to Ron.
"Wow," was all Ron could say.
"I know," Harry agreed. "I didn't ever think anything like that. I suppose he has a point though. And I would like to hear about my parents childhood, or what he knows of it."
"Yeah, I know all about Mum and Dad's childhoods even if I didn't ask for it," Ron laughed. Harry smiled
"You're lucky, mate." Ron looked at him for a moment.
"I know I am. I know."
Harry didn't tell Ron about what happened after his talk with Lupin. He went to Gryffindor Tower and up to his room to get something then headed over to Ginny's bed in the Hospital Wing. She was awake by then.
"Hey Gin." She smiled warmly at him.
"Hi Harry. Where have you been?" He sat beside her and kissed her cheek. She took his cheek and directed him to her lips before letting him answer. He cleared his throat.
"Right, uh, I talked to Dumbledore then Lupin asked me to come talk in his office." Harry explained what they said in their conversations. He didn't want to tell her about Malfoy staying with them over the summer but couldn't keep something like that from her. Her face paled as he broke the news to her.
"He-he's coming to stay with us?" Harry's heart sank as he watched the worry in her eyes deepen.
"Yeah...I'm really sorry but Dumbledore seemed to think it was best and I told him it was a bad idea but he wouldn't listen and-" She took in a shaky breath and nodded, not meeting his eyes.
"Are you afraid of him? I promise, I won't let him near you, Ron and I will keep him away. If he tries to come near I'll beat him to a pulp, I swear." She smiled slightly but the look remained in her eyes.
"I know you won't but you'll get in more trouble. It's just hard not to be a bit afraid of someone who did something like to me."
"Dumbledore said he wouldn't have contact with his dad so nothing can happen to you okay? I promise."
"Harry, you can't promise me anything. You never know what could happen. But thank you for saying it anyway." Comments like that made Harry worry about his life and future more and more. He knew he couldn't control everything but it made him feel worse hearing it. She was right; his promises meant nothing more than comforting words.
"Well...this I can promise. He won't come near you." She just nodded but he knew she didn't believe him. He sighed and kissed her hand.
"So I suppose you'll go construction worker and be building him his own kitchen so he won't eat near us?" She smiled at him teasingly.
"Yeah, I'll be working on that soon. I'll even sport a plumber's crack and all." She laughed loudly. He was glad for the change in mood. "By the way, I haven't given you your Valentines gift. It isn't much but I think you'll like it." He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. Her face lit up the minute she saw it. She watched it for a bit before looking at his face.
"Who took this?"
"Colin." It was a photograph of Harry and Ginny dancing at the Valentine's Ball. They were slow dancing and staring into each other's eyes. After a few moments, their lips touched as Harry's hand went to the back of her head, holding her to him as long as possible. "Actually, I have a small album of pictures but that's my favorite one so I showed you it first." He proceeded to pull a miniature-sized book out of his pocket. It read, Harry and Ginny on the light blue cover. She opened the cover where a short letter was written in Harry's untidy scrawl. It read:
Happy Valentine's Day, Ginny! I didn't actually take any of these, that was Colin's work. I didn't pick out the album either but I did buy it, from Colin again. Handy fellow, he is. Anyway, I'm really glad we went to this ball together and hopefully we can go to the next one together too. I love you and can't wait until you see this!
Love, Harry
"When did you do this? I found out about you and Cho the night after the ball."
"Colin apparently wakes up at the crack of dawn to develop photographs and stuff and brought me them that morning. He even had an album with him if I wanted it. He didn't want money for it but I made him. Anyway, I put the pictures in the book right after and had it ready for Valentine's Day." Ginny looked through the pictures slowly. Some more were of them dancing while others were of the pair talking to each other or to friends. Many had Ginny laughing out loud at something Harry had said. There were about fifteen pictures in all.
"Colin certainly had his camera on us a lot," Ginny commented.
"Oh, he took pictures of others too. It earned him some extra money."
"I thought he didn't want you to pay him?"
"Me no, others yes." Ginny giggled.
"He's only a year younger than you and still in awe." She turned the page. "Look, I'm laughing at Ron's dancing."
"Yeah, Ron wouldn't like that one. You can put the snogging picture at the end. There are more pages so as we get others, you can add them."
"Harry, I love it. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome." She kissed him lightly.
"I got you something too but it's in my room. It might sound silly but I think it would be good for you to have. I'll show you it later but I can tell you about it now."
"Okay."
"I got you a journal. Not a diary, a journal since my luck with diaries hasn't been very good." Harry had cocked an eyebrow at her. "Don't give me that look. It'll be good for you to put your thoughts down somewhere instead of just thinking millions of things and letting them stay all jumbled up in your head." Harry still looked unsure.
"I don't know Ginny. I don't think I'm really the diary...er journal type."
"There isn't a type, Harry, it's just a way to express yourself privately. I'm not telling you to start interpretive dance or something to express yourself." Harry laughed.
"Alright, I'll try it out I suppose."
"Good. Actually, Fred got it for me from a 'friend' at the book shop."
"Seems the twins have a lot of 'friends'."
"Oh, I imagine they have many 'friends' of the female population in Diagon Alley. Now that they're on their own and don't have Mum breathing down their necks, I bet they're having as many girls over as they can. Horny buggers." Harry laughed.
"Lucky buggers." Ginny raised her eyebrows. Harry coughed uncomfortably.
"I mean, you'd be the only member of the female population in my flat of course." Ginny giggled.
"You're so easy, Harry Potter."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Now who's the horny bugger?"
"Just kidding. Well, not exactly but...right." She laughed loudly as he looked at her sheets, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"It's ok, Harry. You can make sexual jokes to me. I grew up with six brothers. Nothing fazes me."
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"So what time is Ron coming back?"
"Until the very last second he can. St. Mungo's closes at nine." Ginny nodded.
"I hope it's going ok."
"Me too."
Author's Note: Okay, shorter than my normal chapters but I'm not sure how I want to end this fic before starting the next sequel. Stupid writer's block. I'll figure it out soon though. I know you're all anxious for Hermione to wake up but fear not! She will wake soon! I promise it'll only be another chapter or two before she's up again. Well, awake, not necessarily up. Anyway, I'll say another week before an update so I can figure out the rest of this fic. Ok, I decided not to do chapter responses because it's been a long time since you all wrote them but I will look through them to see if there is anything I want to respond to. I hope no one gets mad for it but thank you as always to everyone who reviews! I love you all very much! I will definitely respond to this chapter's reviews though. Bye!
Chapter 22: Conversation (Dual chapter title and AN name)
Author's Note: Hey, I'm finally updating! I'm really sorry for being gone so, so long but I was really busy and having writer's block, which I am still experiencing but I have a full chapter here. Hope you enjoy it!
(This is the new symbol signaling the beginning of the chapter since it was asked I make it clear when AN's end and the chapter begins.)
Harry followed Lupin to his office. It looked the same, for the most part, as it had been in third year. Harry liked that. It felt comfortable and familiar. Harry sat in the chair across from Lupin.
"How was your discussion with the Headmaster?"
"Not great."
"I know. Times are dangerous now. We must all do everything we can to protect ourselves and those we care for. How is Miss Weasley?"
"Fine so far. I left her when she was sleeping. She has to stay in bed for a while though."
"Understandable. The Cruciatus Curse is difficult to endure and I imagine she received it more than once." Harry nodded.
"I was afraid she was almost dead when I found her." His voice cracked as he remembered seeing her lying on the floor of the Riddle House.
"Harry, I want to apologize to you." Harry cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
"What for?"
"Various things. I am of course sorry for the burden you carry as Voldemort's only true opponent. That cannot be changed though. The other thing I'm sorry for can be however. This thing is not talking to you about Sirius' death. I know I offered you the chance to talk at Christmas but you never came to me. I should have spoke to you sooner, like last summer, and encouraged you to talk to me. I'm sure you've held in a lot of feelings about his death that should have been brought out. I should have made the effort by telling you how I felt but I wasn't sure I could do it. How silly is it to expect a teenager to express his emotions when a grown man can't?" Harry stared at him, unsure what to say. Lupin shook his head.
"I know, you did not expect this from me. I'm sure you never even thought about it but why would you? I am not, a relative, godfather, or a close friend like Ron or Hermione. To you I am a teacher and a very old friend of your father but that is why it should have been me to talk to you. I knew your father and Sirius the best when we were growing up. I could have had some comforting words or served as a listening ear. Why did I not come to you or write then?" Harry was still lost for words. "I didn't know what to say to you or how I would act. I have lost all of my childhood friends since Sirius' death. Yes, Peter is still alive but his worth as a human is not high and I never wish to be friends again, obviously. It was difficult when I thought Sirius was a murderer and Peter had been killed but to find out Sirius was innocent and there for me to see and talk to again was an incredibly uplifting experience. Now, I have lost him again and didn't know how to handle it immediately after. I will admit more than a few tears were shed mourning his loss and thinking of the person I wished I could talk with, you. I wasn't sure I could handle a deep conversation with you though so I remained a chicken and never brought it up with you, save for Christmas but I knew you wouldn't come to me. I am still not a confidante for you. I wish I was." Harry inhaled but an intelligent reply didn't form.
"I think it would be nice if you came to my office once or twice a week and we talked about Sirius, your parents, your own life, anything you wish. You can ask me questions about my years with the other Marauders. What do you say? Over the summer we can continue talking seeing as I'll be living with you in Grimmauld Place." Lupin looked at him. "Do you have any thoughts on my proposal?"
"I-that would be great. I don't really know what to say." Lupin nodded, a small smile on his face.
"I understand. I just dropped a load of information and thoughts in your lap. I'm glad you would like to talk though. Shall we set up a regular time for you to come visit?" Harry nodded and they discussed convenient times for both.
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk about the events at the Riddle House if you would be comfortable with it sometime," Lupin mentioned.
"Yeah, that'd be fine."
"Excellent. Have a good day, Harry. See you day after tomorrow." They shook hands and Harry walked out of his office.
Back to Harry talking to Ron from previous chapter. He just told this conversation to Ron.
"Wow," was all Ron could say.
"I know," Harry agreed. "I didn't ever think anything like that. I suppose he has a point though. And I would like to hear about my parents childhood, or what he knows of it."
"Yeah, I know all about Mum and Dad's childhoods even if I didn't ask for it," Ron laughed. Harry smiled
"You're lucky, mate." Ron looked at him for a moment.
"I know I am. I know."
Harry didn't tell Ron about what happened after his talk with Lupin. He went to Gryffindor Tower and up to his room to get something then headed over to Ginny's bed in the Hospital Wing. She was awake by then.
"Hey Gin." She smiled warmly at him.
"Hi Harry. Where have you been?" He sat beside her and kissed her cheek. She took his cheek and directed him to her lips before letting him answer. He cleared his throat.
"Right, uh, I talked to Dumbledore then Lupin asked me to come talk in his office." Harry explained what they said in their conversations. He didn't want to tell her about Malfoy staying with them over the summer but couldn't keep something like that from her. Her face paled as he broke the news to her.
"He-he's coming to stay with us?" Harry's heart sank as he watched the worry in her eyes deepen.
"Yeah...I'm really sorry but Dumbledore seemed to think it was best and I told him it was a bad idea but he wouldn't listen and-" She took in a shaky breath and nodded, not meeting his eyes.
"Are you afraid of him? I promise, I won't let him near you, Ron and I will keep him away. If he tries to come near I'll beat him to a pulp, I swear." She smiled slightly but the look remained in her eyes.
"I know you won't but you'll get in more trouble. It's just hard not to be a bit afraid of someone who did something like to me."
"Dumbledore said he wouldn't have contact with his dad so nothing can happen to you okay? I promise."
"Harry, you can't promise me anything. You never know what could happen. But thank you for saying it anyway." Comments like that made Harry worry about his life and future more and more. He knew he couldn't control everything but it made him feel worse hearing it. She was right; his promises meant nothing more than comforting words.
"Well...this I can promise. He won't come near you." She just nodded but he knew she didn't believe him. He sighed and kissed her hand.
"So I suppose you'll go construction worker and be building him his own kitchen so he won't eat near us?" She smiled at him teasingly.
"Yeah, I'll be working on that soon. I'll even sport a plumber's crack and all." She laughed loudly. He was glad for the change in mood. "By the way, I haven't given you your Valentines gift. It isn't much but I think you'll like it." He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. Her face lit up the minute she saw it. She watched it for a bit before looking at his face.
"Who took this?"
"Colin." It was a photograph of Harry and Ginny dancing at the Valentine's Ball. They were slow dancing and staring into each other's eyes. After a few moments, their lips touched as Harry's hand went to the back of her head, holding her to him as long as possible. "Actually, I have a small album of pictures but that's my favorite one so I showed you it first." He proceeded to pull a miniature-sized book out of his pocket. It read, Harry and Ginny on the light blue cover. She opened the cover where a short letter was written in Harry's untidy scrawl. It read:
Happy Valentine's Day, Ginny! I didn't actually take any of these, that was Colin's work. I didn't pick out the album either but I did buy it, from Colin again. Handy fellow, he is. Anyway, I'm really glad we went to this ball together and hopefully we can go to the next one together too. I love you and can't wait until you see this!
Love, Harry
"When did you do this? I found out about you and Cho the night after the ball."
"Colin apparently wakes up at the crack of dawn to develop photographs and stuff and brought me them that morning. He even had an album with him if I wanted it. He didn't want money for it but I made him. Anyway, I put the pictures in the book right after and had it ready for Valentine's Day." Ginny looked through the pictures slowly. Some more were of them dancing while others were of the pair talking to each other or to friends. Many had Ginny laughing out loud at something Harry had said. There were about fifteen pictures in all.
"Colin certainly had his camera on us a lot," Ginny commented.
"Oh, he took pictures of others too. It earned him some extra money."
"I thought he didn't want you to pay him?"
"Me no, others yes." Ginny giggled.
"He's only a year younger than you and still in awe." She turned the page. "Look, I'm laughing at Ron's dancing."
"Yeah, Ron wouldn't like that one. You can put the snogging picture at the end. There are more pages so as we get others, you can add them."
"Harry, I love it. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome." She kissed him lightly.
"I got you something too but it's in my room. It might sound silly but I think it would be good for you to have. I'll show you it later but I can tell you about it now."
"Okay."
"I got you a journal. Not a diary, a journal since my luck with diaries hasn't been very good." Harry had cocked an eyebrow at her. "Don't give me that look. It'll be good for you to put your thoughts down somewhere instead of just thinking millions of things and letting them stay all jumbled up in your head." Harry still looked unsure.
"I don't know Ginny. I don't think I'm really the diary...er journal type."
"There isn't a type, Harry, it's just a way to express yourself privately. I'm not telling you to start interpretive dance or something to express yourself." Harry laughed.
"Alright, I'll try it out I suppose."
"Good. Actually, Fred got it for me from a 'friend' at the book shop."
"Seems the twins have a lot of 'friends'."
"Oh, I imagine they have many 'friends' of the female population in Diagon Alley. Now that they're on their own and don't have Mum breathing down their necks, I bet they're having as many girls over as they can. Horny buggers." Harry laughed.
"Lucky buggers." Ginny raised her eyebrows. Harry coughed uncomfortably.
"I mean, you'd be the only member of the female population in my flat of course." Ginny giggled.
"You're so easy, Harry Potter."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Now who's the horny bugger?"
"Just kidding. Well, not exactly but...right." She laughed loudly as he looked at her sheets, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"It's ok, Harry. You can make sexual jokes to me. I grew up with six brothers. Nothing fazes me."
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"So what time is Ron coming back?"
"Until the very last second he can. St. Mungo's closes at nine." Ginny nodded.
"I hope it's going ok."
"Me too."
Author's Note: Okay, shorter than my normal chapters but I'm not sure how I want to end this fic before starting the next sequel. Stupid writer's block. I'll figure it out soon though. I know you're all anxious for Hermione to wake up but fear not! She will wake soon! I promise it'll only be another chapter or two before she's up again. Well, awake, not necessarily up. Anyway, I'll say another week before an update so I can figure out the rest of this fic. Ok, I decided not to do chapter responses because it's been a long time since you all wrote them but I will look through them to see if there is anything I want to respond to. I hope no one gets mad for it but thank you as always to everyone who reviews! I love you all very much! I will definitely respond to this chapter's reviews though. Bye!