Author's Note: This chapter was particularly difficult to write, and I do apologize that it took me so long. I think I may have mentioned that I only write when I get the inspiration for a chapter, so updates may be slow in coming. I hope to continue this short little series up until present time, although I am not sure at this point. I thank my reviewers for your support and encouragement and I hope you enjoy this chapter. The viewpoint changes several times, but it is not that difficult to follow (I hope!).
Disclaimer: If you recognize anything in this ficlet, it does not belong to me! In fact, the only thing that does belong to me is the flimsy plot. Everything else belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling.
I cannot believe that this past week actually happened. While I'm not one to dwell on the same event constantly, I cannot help but replay this week's events in my mind. It all started, as most of my problems the past few years seem to, with one Harry Potter, for the most part at least. Potter was up to his usual antics, wandering around the school when he should be in his dormitory, although I wasn't aware of that at the time. I had just brewed a batch of the Wolfsbane Potion for my husband, although I hadn't acknowledged him as such in years, Remus Lupin. The Headmaster, conniving old fool that he is, hired Lupin at the beginning of the year to teach Defense, and making it my place to brew the delicate potion once a month. Dear, dear, I'm rambling again….I had just brewed the damned potion and was taking it to Re—Lupin. When I received no answer to my knock on his office door, I let myself in, planning to just leave it on his desk. Imagine my surprise when, there on his desktop, was a Marauder's Map. I sneered, remembering my old nemeses, and was about to turn away before I realized that it was actually a map of Hogwarts. Intriguing. So, I read it. And I saw Potter. And Granger. All heading down some tunnel of sorts that was located, of all the places, under the Whomping Willow. And there was Lupin following them. Well, not being one to resist docking Gryffindor points for being out past curfew, I left the potion sitting there and rushed out of the castle. Of course, I was familiar with the Whomping Willow (a certain incident which almost cost me my life…and which I won't discuss here for lack of time), so I used a branch to prod the knot to let me into the passageway. Arriving in the Shrieking Shack, where the passageway led, I was (not so) surprised to see the Golden Trio and Lupin. However, I was surprised to see one Sirius Black. Responding naturally, I immediately pulled my wand and threw (not so) empty threats at Black, sneering at Lupin about wouldn't this be news to the (old fool) Headmaster, him helping an old (murderer) friend into the castle. And then…the damned Gryffindor brats Stunned me. One (three) hell(s) of a Stunner, at that! When I came to, we were out of the Shack and Lupin was in the middle of his werewolf transformation. Another person was there, as well. Peter Pettigrew. I threw myself in front of Weasley, Potter, and Granger, as Black transformed into a (Grim!) giant black dog and attacked the werewolf. Pettigrew was looking distinctly pleased and the next thing, he had transformed in a rat (Wait, wait, wait… that bumbling dunderhead is an Animagus!) and scurried off somewhere. Potter ran off, and Granger followed, leaving me with Weasley. Well, I managed (somehow) to get Weasley to hospital to be treated by Madam Pomfrey and rushed off for the Headmaster who, in turn, rushed off to find Black, Potter, and Granger. So, move forward a bit…a shouting match with Dumbledore and the (sanctimonious) Gryffindor trio later…Fudge appeared to have Black Kissed by the Dementors only to discover the mangy mutt had escaped. Potter and Granger, of course, with that damned little Time-Turner of hers (I told Albus that no thirteen-year old Gryffindor witch could be trusted with such a responsibility!). To make a long story short, that night was all in all terrible. The next morning, after no sleep, I cornered a weak Lupin in his quarters, demanding answers. My mind had been torn apart by the previous night's events and I wanted answers, damn it! Sitting there in Lupin's private quarters, I got more than I bargained for…
Remus Lupin sighed, "Sit down, Severus." When Severus Snape just glared at him, Remus snapped, "Oh, for the love of Merlin, Severus! You barge into my quarters making demands, at least sit down so I can answer them!"
Severus Snape sat. "Give me your answer then, Lupin, and let me be on my way."
What followed was a long series of explanations twelve years waiting. Remus told Severus how heartbroken he was at the thought that his husband had betrayed him and how grief-stricken the loss of his best friends made him. He apologized profusely for his actions, knowing he deserved no forgiveness. He told how he had seen Peter Pettigrew's name on the Marauder's Map, a document that he, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Pettigrew himself had drafted during their years at Hogwarts and how he'd been appalled to realize that Pettigrew had betrayed them all. He realized that all the time he thought Black was the true traitor and blamed Severus for his lack of knowledge, he had been entirely wrong. If Pettigrew had been a Death Eater, he had obviously been a spy, something Severus could never have known. Remus told how, when he returned to Hogwarts, he had hoped that he and Severus could make amends, but did not know how. And Severus listened. And he realized that he never gave Remus a chance to explain himself, realized that he had never given himself a chance to let Remus fully in. And Severus made his own confessions, of his jealousy of the Marauders, of his grief at Remus' betrayal, and at the end of the discussion, both men were in tears.
"Remus, my darling Lycan, how could I have cast you so fully from my heart?" Severus could scarcely speak. "I don't know why you would want to forgive a man who tossed you aside so easily, so willingly…"
But Remus only shook his head and reached out for his husband. "I swore my life to you, Severus Snape, but I am not the one making any sacrifice here. It is you who must forgive me…forgive a young man for his ignorance and willingness to cast blame, and a mature man for not owning up to his actions when he realized how wrong he had been." Remus met Severus' eyes and, for a moment, was silent. "I never stopped loving you, Severus. When you disappeared into your apprenticeship and closed yourself away from the world, you were every day on my mind. At night, I wept for what I had lost and by day, I tortured myself with guilt for what I had done. I only hope that we can move past what has happened, although I realize …"
Severus silenced him with a word. "Remus. Stop. It will take time, much time, for us to regain what was lost, but we have already made strides this morning. I will gladly extend my hand to you with an open offer of trust and forgiveness. I state only one condition – there shall be no secrets, no lies, between the two of us, or there shall be no us. Although I hardened myself to the world, a part of me never forgot my darling Lycan, who stole so much of me I sometimes could not tell where he ended and I began."
And Remus accepted Severus' offer, sealing the promise with a tender kiss.
My Raven is mine once more. I never thought that I would have him back one day, but I do. Severus came to my quarters yesterday and for several hours, time stopped. We both bared our souls. I confessed my sins to my husband and begged his forgiveness and he likewise did the same, although his mistakes are nothing to mine. We were both left in tears. I could scarcely breathe when Severus offered his hand to me once more. While I know that the ground we tread is precious right now and that anything could happen in the future, I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. To know that my husband, my Severus, is back in my life for the first time in twelve years is a feeling beyond elation. I know that I would do anything to keep from losing this darling soul that I call my husband. When we shared a kiss, a soft, slow, tender kiss, I felt my heart melt all over again.
Remus and I finally came to terms with the issues that separated us and, although our relationship now is tentative and fragile, I am once more filled with an overwhelming happiness. For the first time in twelve years, I feel true joy. I rejoice in the knowledge that my Lycan is mine once more, and that, although we stand on fragile ground, we are united together. When I confronted Remus earlier this week, I never imagined that it would end in this. We have shared late night walks by the lake twice, getting to know each other again. I cannot help but replay this week's events in my mind, for they cause me a joy unknown, a feeling beyond elation. When we shared that kiss, that sweet, soft kiss, the first in twelve years, I fell in love with him all over again.