Condor 2.0: Hi guys. I am madly in love with french fries.
Disclaimer: Life sucks and is boring and I don't own anybody.
Chapter 2: Dunkin Donuts
"Wake up boys!" yelled Merry. The Fellowship all stumbled down the stairs.
"Why couldn't we just get an alarm clock?" asked Legolas.
"Its 5:00 in the morning. We don't leave until noon," whined Aragorn
"Our agent wants to meet on Da' Street us an hour in advance. Besides, somebody needs to change Gandalf's diaper," said Merry.
"I told you, I stopped wearing those last…"
"Let's eat," said Frodo
"I'll make the fried meat," grumbled Gimli, "Who wants some?"
"MEEEEEE!" screamed Pippin.
"I'll make the oatmeal," said Gandalf, "Who wants some?"
"MEEEEEE!" screamed Pippin.
"I'll make the…"
"NO!" screamed Sam, interrupting Frodo, "I'll do it. Who wants some?"
"What ever your making, MEEEEEE!" screamed Pippin
"I'll make the rice cakes," said Legolas, "Who wants some?"
"Ew but MEEEEEE!" screamed Pippin.
Later, on Da' Street…
The Fellowship had all parked their cars, and despite violence between Gimli and the hobbits, everything was going as planned.
Condor2.0: No I'm just kidding, everything currently sucked.
"Uh… um… hello? HELLO! Hello!" said Merry for the fifth time.
"Merry can you like, stop yelling because this is totally ruining my manicure."
"Shut up pointy ears, it's not my fault our agent is fifteen minutes late."
"Aren't you the agent?" asked Gandalf.
"Oh… yeah I… yes I'm the agent. To dunkin' donuts!"
Dunkin' Donuts 11:20
"Alright boys here's the plan," said Merry
"Why do you call us boys?"
"Stop asking stupid questions fool of a Took," said Merry.
"That's my line," said Gandalf.
"Oh yeah, well at least I don't wear diapers," said Merry, "Here's the lineup. Gandalf, coffee. Gimli and Pippin, the really big doughnuts. Aragorn, doughnut holes. Frodo, Sam, Legolas, and I will try all the other doughnuts and stuff.
Reviews:
Gimli: I would have been happier if the hobbits hadn't been STABBING ME IN THE BACK WHILE I WAS DRIVING TO DUNKIN' DONUTS! Hairy little creeps. 2 stars.
Legolas: Yuk yuk yuk. To fatty and crappy and frosted. No stars.
Pippin: FIVE STARS. YUMMY
Gandalf: java java java java java java java java java. (Five stars.)
Aragorn: Not bad but not quite up to my standards. Two stars.
Frodo: Not good. There were "anti-obsessed ring bearers (Gollum)" signs so I'll give it one star.
Sam: Whatever Frodo said.
Merry: Three stars, not bad, I only wanted to come here because I needed a doughnut.