"I Guess This is Goodbye"

Show: Stargate Atlantis

Genre: Angst/General/Missing Scene

Pairing: Slight Shep/Teyla

Summary: Missing scenes/POVs from "Conversion". Elizabeth told all of them that it was time to give their last goodbyes to Colonel Sheppard. What were each of the characters planning on saying to him before he left them for good? One short chapter for each perspective. R&R S.V.P!

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, Atlantis, the Daedalus, or the SGC. But I did manage to sneak an Asgard into my closet…he followed me home from school one day.

Author's Note: Um, yeah. Have I told you guys recently that you are flipping amazing? I love hearing from all of you, and you've been so good to me in terms of reviews for this story – thank you, thank you, thank you! It makes me so happy that you like it! Ronon challenged me a bit, just because he's still a new character and hasn't been around Sheppard as much as the others. He isn't very talkative either (no kidding!), so I hope this chapter turned out okay. Again, haven't really ever written for his voice, so I did the best I could. Read and review please!

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Chapter Three: Ronon

When a warrior dies on Sateda it is customary for his comrades to pay him tribute in a very specific way. Usually a ballad of the warrior's life and accomplishments is composed for his friends and family to remember him. All of his belongings except for his sidearm are buried to signify cutting the ties to the living world – the weapon is given to the family along with his service commendations. Finally, the warrior's body is cremated and his ashes are scattered to the winds while the ballad is chanted by the gathering. This is supposed to symbolize the warrior's need for change and movement as he is carried away from his family. But even with this desire for change, the warrior never really leaves home – he is bound to Sateda forever and will always find peace there.

Dr. McKay has been telling me about the death rites of your world. They are certainly more subdued than those on Sateda, and I'm not sure that such a passive ending is fitting for you. Dying and just being buried in the ground, staying in one place forever…it doesn't seem right for Colonel Sheppard. Then again, I don't know if the warrior rites of Sateda are appropriate either.

You are a warrior – strong, passionate, brave, and cunning. But there is more to you than only characteristics of force. Where I come from, leaders, particularly military leaders, get to positions of power through bravery, force, resourcefulness, and sometimes violence. You need to be strong in order to survive on Sateda, and to get anywhere of importance, you need to be willing to get your hands dirty.

You possess some of these qualities, which makes you a warrior. But that isn't all that I see. The first time that I met you, your attitude confused me. Even though I was the one with the gun and the power to kill you anytime I wanted, you didn't even try to fight back in a way that I would have expected. On Sateda, such a situation calls for a warrior to do anything necessary to win back control of the situation, even if such tactics call for injury or death. I didn't understand how someone who was in the military and was responsible for the lives of others wouldn't use violence to achieve their goals. You were diplomatic, calm, understanding, and subdued, and this threw me more than you realize.

I had been taught from a young age to respect anything that carried a gun or used its fists (until you could best them in the ring, that is), but I couldn't help but feel a grudging admiration for you even then. I started watching you while you were hunting for your friend in the forest, and I've been watching you ever since. I suppose it puzzles me how someone can be so confident in themselves and their position without having to rely on a sidearm to back them up. Not only that, but I've seen the way others treat you. Everyone regards you with a level of respect that I don't think you completely realize. Dr. McKay seems to enjoy making everyone miserable, but I don't think he does it out of disrespect for you. I've seen the way Teyla looks at you as well. The respect and understanding that she has in her eyes whenever you speak to her frightens me a little. The power of that bond is something I've never come across, even in the military ranks on Sateda. It comes from something more than simple deference and admiration of authority – it is pure trust and unrestrained loyalty. That's rarer than you realize.

Maybe it's because you've never had to deal with having your authority overthrown, but where I come from, it is rare that one can hold on to such a level of power without having to constantly prove themselves in battle. You've taught me that some of the truths that I've always known – that death is the only universal constant, that violence can get you where you need to be, that words cannot be strength – may not be as concrete as I believed them to be. I know I haven't always been the easiest person to get along with, but that was never because of anger or regret that I came to Atlantis. I won't forget you, Colonel Sheppard, and I promise that I'll try to think before I act. If there's one thing you tried to drill into me, that was probably it, so I'll give it my best shot. Goodbye, Colonel.

TBC: Teyla

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Thanks for reading – that one was really tough to finish. That review button is looking pretty tempting, isn't it? Heehee!