Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, lines from the episodes, storylines or settings. I have no affiliation with the WB network. So don't sue me 'cause you won't get anything!

A/N: HEY! SORRY! I forgot to say… the song 'Seems Like I Loose Myself' is a song by Dianna Gatto. She isn't big… she's a family friend of mine but she is AMAZING! She has issued two CD's and is now currently living in Nashville. So if you're anywhere near there you should look up her stuff! ALSO! Like last year or something she was on Nashville Star as well. She didn't get very far only because she doesn't do country. She does folk… but not like old American folk. Just music that doesn't belong anywhere else so it just goes there. Yes I'm so sorry that I forgot to tell you all! It's a great song by the way. The name of ch.2 is also one of her songs. I think I'm going to name all of my chapters after her songs. I might run out of songs but I hope I don't. Again… I'M SORRY:)

Also sorry about not ud sooner. But it's not like I was singling this one out… I didn't ud ALL my stories 'til now. So yeah… just don't gang up on me!

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Ch.3 – Without You

I've been gone for a few days now… it's different. I miss seeing Pacey everyday… I thought the pain would wane by me leaving… but it's only gotten worse.

I'm wandering around The Big Apple trying to find a place that'll let a 16-year-old girl get high enough wages to pay for rent. Not very easy. Everyone always asks me questions that I can't answer. They say, 'What times are you at school so we can work around?' or, 'Do your parents know you want to work here?' It's so frustrating! I just want to scream… plus I'm throwing up all the time… I guess it's just these circumstances are making me a bit on edge. I've applied to every possible place in the city and NO ONE showed any interest in hiring me. Now I'm just wandering around… looking for anything. Up the way I see a bar and decide to try my luck… who knows… it could be my lucky day…

I enter and immediately get pounded with a very unique smell. I try not to throw up again… I can't do it. I run into the bathroom and vomit about two times before I finally go back out. Everyone is looking at me strangely… I guess they heard me. Well… there goes my chance of getting a job here. But right before I walk out the door I decide to just swallow my fear and do it anyway. I turn around determined and go up to the bar tender.

"Excuse me Mr.…"

"Eddie… that's the name."

He flashes me a smile and I can't help but blush. I put my hands up on the counter and lean in a little closer.

"Well… Eddie… is the owner around? I need to speak to them."

"Sure… but only if you tell me why first."

I look around and turn a darker shade of red before I lean in a bit closer.

"I need a job."

I see him try to hold back his fits of laughter. What's so funny anyway?

"Why… why are you laughing?"

I try not to let him know that this is getting to me. He wipes the tears that have formed around his eyes.

"Nothing… nothing… it's just… how old are you? Like 15?"

I stomp my foot angry… I want to correct him and say I'm 16, going on 17 in a few months. But I don't want to let him know he's right in that I'm underage.

"Can you just get the owner… please?"

He sees my determined look and decides to just do what I ask.

"Sure. Hold on a second."

I wait there for about 10 minutes… feeling more uncomfortable than I have ever been before. He finally comes out with a woman in tow. I didn't know that women owned bars. Oh well… you learn something new everyday. Eddie comes right in front of me and turns to the woman.

"Okay… so this is the girl I was talking about. Now don't shoot her down immediately… she's really determined this one."

He turns to me and smiles. I scowl back. The woman walks past him and holds her hand out for me to shake. I do and she smiles at me.

"Hello. I don't think I ever got your name."

"Joey. My name is Joey."

She eyes me up and down and now I'm starting to get self-conscious. She smiles again when she sees me squirming under her gaze.

"It's nice to meet you Joey. I'm Audrey Liddell and I own this place. I just opened it about oh… a year ago. But it stayed above water so I'm grateful for that."

She smiles again and I can't help but smile back too.

"Yeah…"

I look down trying to figure out how I'm supposed to ask her for a job. But she beats me to it.

"So Eddie here tells me you're looking for a job. Why of all places would you choose here?"

I look up at her and focus my gaze on something else.

"Anyplace that could hire me in the city didn't and I need to get enough money to pay rent. I just tried here because it's the last place I can. But I know that you know I'm under aged so I guess I should be going now."

I turn away from her and slip down from the barstool. I begin to walk away with my head hung low until I feel a hand on my back. I turn around to see Audrey smiling at me.

"I don't care about your age. Just because you're underage doesn't mean I don't need some help around the place… little things… you know?"

I nod slightly and she continues.

"I've been meaning to recruit one of my nieces or nephews… but since you need this more than they do you got the job."

I can't hold back the grin that comes to my face.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I need this job."

I gab her into a hug and I can tell she wasn't expecting that but she hugs me back all the same. I can see Eddie roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye and just smile more. Audrey pulls back and looks me up and down.

"Good lord woman. You need a shower. Eddie!"

Eddie comes over to us quicker than I thought possible.

"Take her to the upstairs apartment and get her settled in. Today you do nothing but rest and get your strength back. Alright?"

I nod at her and Eddie leads me back behind the bar and up some stairs until we get to a hallway with 3 doors… one to the left, one to the right, and one straight ahead. We head straight forward and stop in front. He fishes through his pockets and gets some keys out and unlocks the door pushing it open. I enter and I can't help but smile and spin around. I can see Eddie smiling which just makes me that much more happy.

"The bathroom is through there."

He points to a small corridor and I nod. After a few more seconds he leaves and I can hear him lock the door. I sigh to myself and fall on the couch that is behind me and just rest. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I had fallen into a deep sleep.

"I love you…"

A husky whisper tickles my ear. I throw my arms around them from behind and just sigh… this is exactly where I want to be.

"Mmmmm… and I love you…"

He nuzzles his nose into my neck and nibbles slightly on my soft skin. I can't help but let my moans mix in with my giggles. His hands come from up from my waist and start caressing my sides… it feels so good. He's still nibbling and I'm licking my lips trying hard not to let my moans get too loud. His hands slip under my thin shirt so now his skin is on mine… but I want more. My hands that were caressing the nape of his neck are now coming down to his face… I turn around so now I'm cupping his cheeks with my hands. I come dangerously close to him and whisper.

"This is exactly where I want to be… with you."

That was it for all his self-control as he lunged forward so our lips were on one another's… devouring. I can feel his moans on my tongue when it slides into his mouth… I'm trying so hard not to get too riled up to the point that I'm suffocating him but when he pulls away from me taking gulps of air I see I did just that. After he catches his breath he grabs my arm and pulls me back to him. Now he's kissing my jaw and neck. I can't stop my moans of pleasure as they come rolling from my tongue. He licks a path from to top of my neck down to my collarbone… his hands are under my shirt… one is on the small of my back while the other is exploring my chest. When he reaches his desired area his caresses get slower and slower… I can't take it anymore and one of my hands is now on his over my shirt. I move his hand to the spot I want and he groans with my sudden aggressiveness. He comes back up my neck and kisses a trail along my jaw line and up my cheek until he gets to my ear. He nibbles on my lobe before moving to the soft skin behind it… he places small kisses on it and I almost fall to my feet. This is so good. I move my hands from my shirt to his face. I pull him away and he looks at me confused before I pull him to me again… our fierce kisses send me to a place I've never been as our tongues duel for dominance. But all the sudden he moves away from me. His warm hands leave my skin and I look at him questioningly. He gives me a saddened look and tears begin to sting my eyes. I scream for him to stay with me but then… then the words that have haunted me are uttered from his lips and I lose it… I just lose it…

"When I'm with you I feel like I'm nothing! I feel like I'm nothing…"

I kneel in front of him crying hysterically now… Those words stab me in a place nothing ever has before. I need to get away from this pain before I slip… and that's the last thing I want to do. I see his figure retreating from me it's all I can do not to run after him and plead… beg him to give me another chance… but I know it's too late. I just stand up and whisper to the night's breeze.

"I'll be waiting for you my love… always waiting…"

I don't know what those words mean or why I said them but now they hover around me mercilessly… haunting my steps… criticizing me for leaving… but it was my only resort… my only way to make it out alive…

A knock on my door pulls me from my nightmare and I rise from the couch feeling more nauseous than ever. I walk over to the door and look through the peep whole. It's Audrey. I wonder what she wants. I open the door and find her in front of me with a bag in her hand. I look skeptically before she slips in past me.

"I thought you might need this."

She shakes the bag and I hear things move from side to side. I look at her perplexed.

"And what exactly do I need?"

She pulls the object out of the bag revealing… a pregnancy test? What the hell? How random is that?

"You need these. I noticed how you looked and Eddie mentioned you throwing up twice when you first walked in here. Tell me Joey… has your sense of smell become very sensitive lately?"

I think back and I realize… almost everyplace I am the smell is almost too much to bear. I remember how my smell almost made me sick. I start to panic… I can't be pregnant… there is no way… Pacey and I were always safe… always…

"Um… yeah. It has actually."

"And have you been throwing up all the time?"

"Yeah I have… and I think I need to throw up now. If you'll excuse me."

I place my finger on my mouth and run over to the bathroom down the corridor… just like Eddie said. I rush in and vomit almost immediately… this is not happening…

I finish up and then wash up before walking back out to a patient Audrey.

"Will you please just take it? It'll help if you do. Please… that's all I ask."

I reluctantly grab the box and make my way back to the bathroom. I open the door and put the toilet seat down, place the test down on the counter and sit… I just watch it… debating whether or not I should see whether or not I am in fact pregnant. I'm really trying to convince myself that I'm not pregnant… I couldn't be pregnant… I would never allow it…

"When you find love you lose all sense of control."

I remember my mother's words on her deathbed. She decided that she might as well tell me all her knowledge before she died instead of me never hearing it when I needed it most. I think for a little while and finally give in…

It's been three minutes… should I check now? Is that enough time? Did it say after one? I'm so nervous I can't even see straight… carefully I grab the test and turn it over… my hands are shaking so hard that I don't even see the result… but there it is… clear as day…

Blue

I swear to god my heart stopped beating… this was all too surreal… not only did I run away from home and the one person I truly love… but I ran off pregnant… and now I have to worry about bringing this baby into the world without its father… and without a proper home. There was only one thing that went through my head at this point.

Pacey will never find out.

I can't let him know… it'll just be that much more that he has to deal with… he probably doesn't want to know anything about me… plus he would never let me back in anyway… I left him… at my own free will I just up and left. I'm such an idiot… I need him so badly. I can't do this alone.

I sit on the toilet seat again and softly cry… I don't know how long I was crying until a knock on the door brought me out of my pity party.

"Joey… are you okay? Did you get the results?"

I wipe my tears away and go over to the door and open it for her to enter. She comes in and searches for the piece of plastic that has just changed my life forever. When she sees it her eyes go wide and she rushes over to me. I melt into her kindness and cry in her arms for what seems like forever…

What am I going to do now?

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Reviews are very much appreciated! If you have any questions or anything I'll answer them in the beginning of the next chapter! Also I would really appreciate some constructive criticism (if you have any that is). THNX FOR READING MY FIC!

Hey everyone! So again… sorry about not ud. And yes… Audrey will be a main character in this story… but no need to worry… there will be ABSOLUTEY NO PACEY AND AUDREY ACTION! I would never be able to get myself to write it. And if you guys didn't figure it out… the man in Joey's dream was in fact Pacey. And Joey still has a hell of a road to go down before this story gets anywhere near finished. Now if you guys want I can put in a Pacey POV next chapter… or I can just keep going with my Joey POV and Pacey won't come in for another chapter or so (still Joey centric). But you guys have to tell me in your reviews which you would rather have. Thanks again… and I guess I'll give you some spoilers…

- Joey still needs to find a place to live.

- What's up with Eddie anyway?

- Is something wrong with Joey's pregnancy?

You get to find out next time! Or maybe the time after that… so if it's a Pacey POV next chapter than (spoiler time!):

- What's going down in Capeside?

- How's Pacey coping?

- Is Pacey going to give up on her?

So lots-o-spoilers for you… aren't you guys just the lucky bunch! lol… thanks again:)