The next few days, weeks were a mental anguish for Jonathan.
In Gotham itself, things were "business as usual", but it was hard for Jonathan to concentrate on everyday life.
Mrs. Donovan, the headmistress of Gotham High School, had called Jonathan into her office, days after the beginning of war between the USA, Germany and France to inquire after his condition. Mrs. Donovan had asked Jonathan if there was anything she could do for him. She tried to support him, tried to explain to him, that this war would undoubtedly be over soon and Alexandra and her family would return to Gotham. But Jonathan couldn't, and didn't even want to believe that that would ever happen.
He pored over all
newspapers in Gotham, every day and listened to the news on the
radio, because he and his mother didn't have a TV. The only news he
ever heard were bad. There had been fights in cities all over, in
Germany and France. Berlin was half-destroyed, Köln and
Wiesbaden had been cut off from outer world, Paris had just been
bombed last night.
Wiesbaden? Wiesbaden was the town Alexandra
was from. Had she and her family returned there? Was she okay? Was
she safe?
If I only could contact her!'
But where to start? All telephone lines were broken, there was a complete system breakdown in both countries in Europe. Even so – how could he possibly look for her from here? Without an address, without a phone number? Jonathan was despaired of ever knowing what had happened….
At Gotham High, everything went on as always – with the only difference that Jonathan was alone now. To him it was like wandering about in a fog, which was reflected in Jonathan's lost expression. He noticed the confused gazes of some of his class-mates when he entered a room. It was as if they were sorry for him, for him having lost his girlfriend. Elizabeth Perkins, one of his class-mates once said to him:
"I'm so sorry for you, for what happened, Jonathan."
Oh, she was sorry? As if she was so innocent! She was one of those, whispering behind his back and Alexandra's, teasing them, together with her friends all along and now she was sorry? Goddamn hypocrite! All of them, the whole lot – they all were goddamn hypocrites! As if they had really cared about anything! They could just go to hell, all of them!
He began to hate them.
His class-mates, his teachers, Gotham High, the German embassy, the US government – they all had taken the most important person out of his life and now they were sorry!
Go to hell all of you! You all will repent of what you have done to me!´
It was dark outside when Jonathan got home. Mrs. Crane was sitting in the kitchen. She had prepared dinner and the food was starting to get cold already. During the meal she tried to cheer her son up, chattering away about everything, but Jonathan wasn't listening, picking listlessly at his food.
"Mom, I'm not hungry.", he finally said looking at her "Can I leave? I'd like to go to my room."
"Jonathan, dear...", she said with a soft voice "I really do know, how you're feeling, but...life has to go on..."
"Oh, you really do, Mom? Do you really know, really, how I feel?", Jonathan interrupted her with a hiss and stood up.
"So life goes on, you say? You all act as if nothing has happened! My girlfriend is gone, I don't even know if she's still alive and you're all saying life goes on!"
"Jonathan, I didn't meant it like that..", she said, but he interrupted her again.
"Yes you did! You meant it exactly as you said it! Just say it, you are happy that she's gone! You all are happy that she's gone!", Jonathan shouted, his voice filled with rage, anger.
"Jonathan, you don't know what you're saying", Mrs. Crane said finally, in a firm voice and stood up, too. "You're angry, you're sad, I know that and I understand it, please believe me. I do really know how it feels to be abandoned..."
This sentence cut Jonathan to the quick. He knew she could only be talking about his father now. He gazed into her eyes, still furious.
"There is a difference. Alexandra didn't abandon me, just because she couldn't stand being with me anymore!"
Jonathan's mother slapped him hard across his cheek. It turned red and was burning. Mrs. Crane's eyes were filled up with tears now.
"You will never ever say anything like this to me again, Jonathan Thomas Crane!", she hissed.
Jonathan didn't say anything, kicked his chair aside and left the kitchen. He heard his mother shouting, "Come back here, Jonathan!" when he got upstairs, to his room. He heard her again shouting something from the kitchen, but he couldn't understand what she was saying, and neither did he want to.
Jonathan slammed the door to his room behind him and locked it.