By Sunday afternoon, Henny had been at Beth's house three days, and things had changed very little. Launchpad didn't visit as much as he usually did, but he stopped by that afternoon and he and Beth talked in the kitchen while Henny watched TV on the couch. Drake had been invited over a few times, but had declined as politely as he was inclined to. His reason for the avoidance was only partly based on Henny's presence; being around Beth after Henny's announcement of her feelings for him made him nervous. It was his hope, he had told Launchpad, that maybe if he stayed away Beth would forget about him a little.
When Beth asked about Drake, Launchpad told her that he had a cold, and she came very close to making him some chicken soup before he told her that Drake was actually avoiding Henny. Beth had nodded and said that she could understand that. Then, quietly, she'd asked if Drake was avoiding her, as well. Launchpad had grit his teeth, grinned, and said that actually Drake kind of missed her but really didn't want to be around Henny.
As a result Beth seemed a lot more high-spirited lately, and Launchpad was wondering if he'd really done the right thing.
Just now, Beth was making a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, and Launchpad was watching her hands as she scooped out the peanut butter. "So," he said, watching her work, "she really talks about me all the time?"
"All the time," answered Beth, spreading the peanut butter around evenly. "Like you two are meant to be or something." Launchpad let his gaze trail up her arm. He had reached her shoulder when she asked, "How close are you, anyway?"
Launchpad looked towards the door of the kitchen before he answered. The sounds of Henny laughing at whatever TV program she was watching came through the door. Satisfied that she wasn't listening at the door again, he said, "Close? Not at all. She comes right up to me every time she sees me, but we've never actually talked or anything. Not the way you an' I talk."
"Well, I guess Henny just likes you. You know," said Beth, looking down at the bread as she started spreading the jelly around, "you should take advantage of this. I mean, you don't have a girlfriend or anything, and she likes you, and she's not exactly, uh, unattractive..." Not by Beth's standards, anyway. She made sure that she wasn't facing him as she said this. Her voice was casual, but she had a look on her face that contradicted her tone. In truth, she was testing him, although she didn't know of what. "I mean, if you're interested. Do you like her?"
"Ya want the truth?" he asked, and she nodded her head. "Not really. She's just...," Launchpad paused, not sure of how to express his feelings without possibly offending Beth. She seemed to think she was proving something by taking care of Henny. "Well, she's not my type. There couldn't ever be anythin' between us."
"Oh," said Beth, involuntarily breaking into a smile and making sure that he still couldn't see her facial expression. She cut the bread in half diagonally. "That's too bad. I mean, she is available. And she sure seems to think something's happening between you two."
She sounded sort of upset, Launchpad thought. And besides, he didn't like to think of anyone being unhappy. If it would make Henny feel better, then maybe he could manage, after all. "Really? Maybe I oughta ask her out just once, to make her feel better."
"No!" said Beth, and whirled around to face him, with the knife straight out in front of her. "Don't do anything for her that you don't want to do! Because once you start, you don't know how to stop." She looked down at the knife. "Look at me. It started with that Koo-Koo Cola at dinner, and now I'm making her a PBJ sandwich. With the crusts cut off," she reminded herself, and started to cut off the crusts on one side. "I didn't even realize I was doing it until now. Look. Don't ask her out. She needs to be told no. I'll tell her so that you don't have to, okay?"
"Well, okay." Launchpad could hardly argue. Beth seemed pretty adamant that he not go out with Henny. He wondered why, and the only explanation that came to mind right away was that she was jealous. But that didn't make sense, because he knew she was in love with Drake, and saw Launchpad as nothing more than a friend. There was probably some other explanation-- of course. Beth knew how uneasy he felt around Henny, and just wanted to spare him all that nervousness. That made much more sense.
Henny was still sitting on the couch in the living room when they came out of the kitchen. "Hey, Launchpad!" she said cheerfully as soon as she saw him. She winked again, and he pretended not to notice. "You like 'Pelican's Island'?"
He was surprised that they had something in common. "Sure! It's my favorite show!"
"Great! Sit down, cutie, they're showin' a movie!" She patted a seat cushion next to her on the couch, and he sat down as far from her as he politely could. Beth remained standing.
"We now return to 'Nightmare On Pelican's Island', our Sunday matinee," said the announcer. Launchpad blanched as the movie came back on and the sounds of a chainsaw started up from the screen. This movie... the combination of this movie, and Henny Chickstein was more than he could handle. "Uh... I gotta go," he said nervously, and darted out the door.
"Bye, Launchpad," said Beth just before the door slammed.
Henny yelled after him, "Oh, don't go, sweetie! You can block your view with me if you need to-- Great. Way to chase the man away, Beth," she finished, turning to Beth.
Beth looked as if she'd been slapped. "Hey, I didn't--"
"I was kidding, hon. Kidding." Henny didn't seem like she was kidding.
Beth hated to admit it, but her plan was less than successful. In the three days that she'd been here, Henny had been extremely uncommunicative, except when she wanted something. And, although Beth was trying to pretend otherwise, Henny was dreadfully annoying. Her laugh, her voice, the way she dressed, all of it made Beth wince.
She stared towards the screen for a moment more, lost in thought, and blinked and shuddered at what was onscreen. "Oh, my. I hate stuff like this." She picked up the remote and turned off the TV.
Henny snapped, "Hey! I was watching that! It just so happens I like gore!"
"Gosalyn Mallard has it on tape. You can borrow it and watch it when I'm not around. Now listen," she said as she handed Henny her sandwich, "there's something I need to tell you..."
"Beeeeeth, I asked for the crusts cut off of this sandwich! You only cut off the crusts on one half!" Henny interrupted her.
"Oh, I did? I'm sorry!" Beth took the plate from Henny, who grabbed the crustless sandwich half and peeled it open. On her way to the kitchen, Beth realized what she'd just done and muttered, "D'oh!"
Henny, meanwhile, scraped all the jelly off the bread with her finger and then licked it off. When Beth got back, she said, "I need more jelly on this half."
"You do not. You had plenty and-- ew, you licked it off!"
"I want more! I can't eat a jellyless sandwich!"
"No. You had your jelly and you ate it. The rule in this house is one serving of jelly per person." Tolerance, Beth reminded herself. I must be tolerant.
"Hey! Who determines a serving here?"
Beth felt her face growing red as she got angry. "Listen, I bought this jelly with my own money and so I make the rules! When you pitch in for the jelly, you can make a rule about how much each person gets! Until then..."
"But I'm the guest!"
"Jelly costs money! My money- my jelly!" The argument no longer seemed so silly, since Beth was now on the verge of losing her temper.
Henny, on some low level, saw this and relented. "Fine, but I don't want this peanut butter part."
"Fine." Beth accepted having the peanut buttered half of the bread thrown at her by Henny, who was nearing a temper tantrum herself. Still, she felt pretty good about herself for having won. "Anyway, I was about to tell you something about Launchpad."
"Oh, really?" Henny said casually as she crossed her legs toward Beth and smoothed out her hair expectantly. "What about him?"
Beth was surprised to find that she was suddenly hated Henny with a passion. She was so smug, so ridiculously confident when she had no reason to be so. Even her body language was annoying. Beth had an urge to smile at her coldly and say, "Quite frankly, he hates you," and then watch her expression change. But that wasn't the way Beth was, and she would never do that, not even to her worst enemy. She swallowed her dislike and said, "Well, I know that you're sort of... interested... in him, and I think you should, you know, cool it. I know Launchpad pretty well, and I don't think he's, um, interested. I just thought I should tell you before you get your hopes up too high and then get disappointed."
This quiet explanation had been meant to save Henny some grief, but sadly, she didn't get the point. "What do you mean, 'Not interested'? What are you tryin' to say about him?" she asked incredulously.
Beth sighed. "I'm saying that he's... Well, no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to win him over. He's not your type, anyway- he's not rich or snotty." She regretted that barb right away, knowing that it would only provoke Henny- but it had felt so good to say!
Henny rolled her eyes. "Bethie, you obviously know nothing about romance."
Beth burst into loud, humorless laughter. "HAH! I know nothing about...," she trailed off as she calmed herself down. Whatever happened to 'tolerance'...? "Henny, I'm trying to save you a little embarrassment here! I'll say it one last time, and for heaven's sake, listen to me: He's NOT INTERESTED!"
"You don't know," said Henny stubbornly. "You didn't see the looks we were givin' each other the other night." Her tone made Beth want to smack her, hard.
"Evidently I didn't," said Beth. "I thought he looked terrified of you, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe the fly likes the spider this time around. Maybe poor Launchpad's looking forward to being corralled into a relationship, and then having his heart and soul torn up. Maybe it's just me."
Henny got to her feet and looked Beth straight in the face. If there was one thing she was good at- and there surely wasn't more than one thing- it was staring people down. "Say what you want, but he is mine! I thought you wanted the one with the big bill, anyway?"
Beth blushed. "I'm not doing this because I'm in love with Launchpad or anything!" she cried, a little too loudly. "I'm doing it because he doesn't like you, and you're making a fool out of yourself!"
"Since when have you been able to read men? You have no idea whether he likes me or not!"
"Yeah, so maybe I don't know anything about men. So what! That doesn't make a difference when--" Beth stopped herself short, just before she blurted out that Launchpad had told her himself that he didn't like Henny. She crossed her arms and looked away angrily.
Henny smirked, assuming that she'd won. "You're just jealous, because you can't get any action," she taunted.
Beth was too mad to reply, and if she answered she risked really letting loose at Henny. Obviously they would never be real friends, but since she had no idea when Henny was leaving, and didn't want to completely ruin the relations between them, she figured that for the moment it would be better to let the argument go. Beth walked past Henny (who jumped back and raised her arms in front of her face as soon as Beth moved, evidently expecting some sort of attack) and went up to her room. Once the door slammed upstairs, Henny sat down on the couch again and turned the TV back on. Screams came from the set and mingled with the sound of Henny's laughter as she watched.
"I'm going to bed, Henny," said Beth at a little after 11:00 that night. "Turn off the lights when you go upstairs, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," said Henny, still staring at the TV. Beth reminded her to do this every night, and every night she forgot. As Beth headed up the stairs, she heard Henny mutter, "Little witch."
Beth clenched her fist and went up to her room.
Her anger didn't disappear as she was dropping off to sleep, and thoughts of her and Henny's argument kept running through her mind. In her head, she had the guts to tell Henny what she really though, and was more than graphic about it. Jealous because I can't get action, thought Beth as her coherent thoughts started slowing down. After a long moment, she continued this thread. I have no reason to be jealous of anything like that.. That's not what loving someone is about... This wasn't entirely what was bothering her, though. What was really and truly bothering her was Henny's attitude. Stuck-up..., she thought, and lost the end of the thought. She had one more thought that she was consciously aware of, and that was, She thinks she's so hot...
In the dream, all of a sudden Henny was right there. She was sitting on the edge of Beth's bed, wearing a typically superiour smirk. "I am!" she answered.
"You are not!" said Beth, sitting up in bed. "You're so full of yourself."
Beth was dismayed to find that it didn't faze her at all. Instead, Henny said, "Oh yeah? Well, then, why have I had tons of boyfriends? I can have any man I want. How many boyfriends have you had?"
She didn't want to answer, but for some reason she did. "I can get guys too. I just never really wanted any." At any other time she wouldn't have been able to deliver this lie with a sincere face, but now she found the strength.
Henny called her on it. "You want Drake."
"Drake's... spoken for. It's a case of falling for the right man at the wrong time, that's all." Suddenly, Beth believed that, too, for the first time ever.
But Henny didn't. Beth could feel the contempt and mocking just oozing off of her. "Riiiiight. Bethie, Bethie, Bethie. You've got to move on! Not that I'm giving you advice. I'm picking the right man at the right time for myself- Launchpad. Henny gets what Henny wants."
Beth felt sick at her very suggestion. Lashing out, she said, "Henny does not get what Henny wants! You can't have Launchpad! He'd never want you!"
"Well, then, who would he want? You?"
"I'm sure that's none of my business."
"Then why are you so jealous?" she asked. Beth felt a little queasy. Something about the accusation, dumb as it sounded, hit home. Henny's expression had changed, too- she didn't look like she was just baiting Beth anymore. The question sounded... reasonable.
"Don't be stupid," said Beth, sounding as shaken as she felt. She lay back in the bed and pulled the covers up to her neck, and kept watching Henny. "I'm not jealous. In all the time I've known you, you've never had an intelligent thought in your head."
"Really," said Henny. "Then consider this, Bethie-Wethums. I, the true Henny, am not here at all right now. This conversation is taking place in your unconscious mind, and you just made the accusation to yourself that you are jealous of Henny and Launchpad. Now who's stupid?" she finished in Beth's voice.
She was stunned for a second. Henny, still sitting on the bed in front of her, looked at her calmly in sudden silence. Beth murmered, "I am." She blinked and Henny was gone.
She sat up in bed, fully awake, and said out loud, "I am jealous."