Jonathan still was in the bathroom.
He had taken a long shower. He just stood under the shower, feeling how the water running down his body. He looked down at himself – and his memories came back into his mind, the ones of Alexandra and the night they spent together. He remebered what they have done. He could remember her embraces, her kisses, her touches. He wanted to feel her again.
I can´t stay here anymore! I gotta look for her and I gotta find her!´, Jonathan thought, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.
He was standing in front of the wash basin, looking into the mirror right in front of him. Because of the shower the mirror fogged and Jonathan wiped off the glass with his hand. He had placed a towel around his hips – and he thought of Alexandra again. He was thinking of leading her hand to the towel to losen the knot. He was thinking of her pulling the towel away and how she would start to kiss him. She would caress his nipples and please them with her tongue. She would kiss his chest, kiss his abdomen and then move further, move down…
„Jonathan, concentrate! You have work to do!", he said to himself before splashing his face with ice cold water.
+„So, you have work to do, stupid boy!"+
Jonathan looked up and gazed into the mirror, which was starting to fog again.
„I don´t remember to have called you.", Jonathan said with a firm voice.
+„Who are you, that you think you could contradict me!"+
„I don´t listen to you at all.", Jonathan said and gripped the bottle of shaving foam.
He spread the foam over his face, then started to shave. Scarecrow kept on talking insistently to Jonathan, but he didn´t answer him at all. He kept on shaving with all easiness, pretending he wouldn´t hear Scarecrow at all. Scarecrow boiled with rage.
+„I don´t like it at all being ignored!"+
Suddenly Jonathan could feel a pain at his throat.
He touched himself under his chin and felt something warm and wet at his fingertips. It was blood. Jonathan had cut himself with the razor. He looked into the mirror, his eyes full of anger.
„And I don´t like it at all getting hurt!" he hissed.
He grabbed the packet with the replacement blades for his razor. He could hear Scarecrow saying + „You freak, what are you doing there!"+ , when Jonathan put a blade out of the packet and placed it with shaking hands on his left arm, next to his artery.
„Now do you want to take the risk!", Jonathan yelled, looking into the mirror. „If I fall, then you´ll fall with me! So stop hurting me!"
„You little freak, you god damn..!"+
„Don´t call me Freak´ and don´t call me Boy´!", Jonathan shouted, pressing the blade against his arm so hard it now started to hurt. „My name is Jonathan! Jonathan Crane! And now you will do, what I say!"
For the first time Scarecrow kept silent.
Jonathan smiled softly. For the first time in all these weeks he could hold his own and make head way against Scarecrow! Jonathan bent forward and gazed into the mirror.
„And I´ll tell you something else!", Jonathan said with a firm voice. „I will go! I will go and seek her. I´ll seek her because I know that I love her and because I know she loves me. And you – you won´t stop me!"
+„Jonathan...!"+
„You won´t stop me! Did you hear me? No one will stop me now!", Jonathan yelled and punched with his fist against the mirror. It shattered loudly.
And again Scarecrow kept silent.