Responses (2 chapter's worth!): To all who reviewed, I want to thank you for your Birthday wishes… they made my day much more special than it would have been without you. Once again, thanks ^_^.
GoldAngel2: I love painting with words… especially now that I haven't done an actual painting in a few months… I'm a major studio art freak outside of writing ^^. And no prob on reviewing your poem… it was beautiful, and as you know, very encouraging. I loved the verse reference you gave in the review… All things are possible with God.
Ari and Kat: Big Red? I've never heard of the soda, but I am a fan of the gum ^^… And, that's okay if you can't give me money… that's why I need a job ^^.
Satu-chan: Yay! You're Pakistani? I've never met anyone who was Pakistani before… This is pretty exciting ^^, and it doesn't change anything if you're Muslim (I've got some really good Muslim friends ^^). The whole kiss scene was a spur of the moment type of thing… glad you liked it!
LadyHimura: Amazing, am I? Aww… thanks! I wish a certain someone in my town would say the same thing… I had no Valentine *frown*, but my friend Alayna gave me candy, so I was happy ^^. It's great my story puts you in a good mood ^^, I hope this chapter serves you the same way.
JDFielding: When I read your review I was saying "thank you" to the screen over and over… I needed that rest… Thank goodness there is no school tomorrow ^^. And, yup, Kenshin's arrival in Tokyo did, in some way, show the 4th Urakami where to look. And I'm so happy you along with many others enjoyed the kiss between Kaoru and Kenshin… I'm glad I trusted my last minute thoughts to guide me in that direction. Oh, and thanks for leaving me that Birthday note on my livejournal… that rocked! ^-^
Ainaelen: It's exciting to see what God can do in using my little story… Remember, you can always turn back to Him ^^, after all, He loves you. Take care and God bless. I hope you enjoy where the rest of the story is going.
Alli: Happy belated Birthday! I hope your day was much more eventful than mine… I sat and ate cake and was lazy the rest of the day ^^… Yup, I'm not too big on the whole throwing sex in the mix of things, especially when you can have a good story without it. I hope I'm achieving that.
Angi-chan: Just three words: Why, thank you! ^^
chibiBattousai: Touching? That's too cool! I've always wanted to draw out people's emotions through the art of writing… Read on, and thank you for the compliments ^^.
Yannick: I get my material from this weird shaped cranium I own… jk! Actually, I do just think it up, or take it from experiences of my own interesting life. And the last chapter was the deepest, you think? Wow… that's cool! I was hoping at least one of the chapters would come out as profound in some manner. I hope the next one doesn't disappoint ^^;…
kik-ting: Nope, as you saw in the last chappie, I kept Kaoru alive… She's too cool of a character to kill off just like that ^_^…
Leigh: Yeah, I know what you mean… I wish Kenshin were real, and existed in our time, so I could hug him… He seems very huggable…^^
Chell: Mon ami, how's it goin? Okay, you know how I appreciate you leaving reviews when you could always just hunt me down at school and tell me what you thought of the story… I'm glad you review online though. And the radio play idea.. that would be cool! Now you've inspired me to be a VA, heh heh…
SeilinKenga: Things are surely working out, thank you for your kind words ^^. And you and your cookies… are you trying to make me fat? If so, *looks down at tummy* it's not really working yet ^^, so bring on the cookies! Oh, and Happy belated Birthday to you too!! So, you're on the 4th, eh? Cool stuff!
midnyteshadow: My computer has been acting up as of lately too… ugh! Anyhoo, thanks for your prayers, I'm in desperate need of them. Another birthday girl, Happy belated Birthday!! You're 14? Nice age… I wish I was still 14… this is my last year to be a teenager *sigh*… oh well, I'm over it ^^.
lil miss battousai: Two wonderful themes? Yes, I agree ^^… I'm big on the romance and I am in love with God so, naturally, I would enjoy combining the two ^^. You'll see how things turn out… and I hope you enjoy it when then they do.
kailna: Thanks for noticing… I've been trying to keep them in character despite the changes I have made to their personal lives. Thanks for reading!
queengeek: Thank you so much for being a faithful reader… More Megumi and Sano, you say? Okay, I'll see what I can do ^^. I hope I get to see you before your Birthday sometime, 'cus I want to give you a hug ^^… take care!
Dan Yetman: Heh heh, a good Christian story? Yeah, I couldn't find any Christian stories out there so I decided to be different and write one myself. And, yup, Jesus is my Lord and I'm not afraid to say it ^^… Thanks for liking my story too ^^…
Missy: I had to re-read your review a couple of times before realizing who you were… Funny stuff… If you read this before you call me back, Matt and I are probably just going out for coffee and we wanted you to join… Okay, enough of that… I'm glad you got a chance to read my story. I hope it provides a better idea of how I spend my time ^~…
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X or anything already thought of… I do, however, hope to meet Nobuhiro Watsuki sometime in the future… one could only dream… ugh
Oh, yeah… I really hope you like this chapter… It was quite difficult to write (writer's block up the wazoo)… Once I post it, its out of my hands… Enjoy!
Chapter 16
A kiss… a small sign of affection offered by one's lips. A prayer… a sign of a hope beyond one's care, a plea and whispered wish also offered with one's lips. Kenshin kissed Kaoru and Kaoru prayed… for him, for herself, and for the will of God to have precedence over all selfish emotion.
Kaoru was alone in the room, lying on her back under her covers as she waited for Megumi to return with some freshly drawn water. Kenshin had agreed to share the room already occupied by Sano and Yahiko, the street fighter having asked him for the reason behind his changed mind. Megumi told the rurouni earlier to go sleep in the other room but he insisted on staying by Kaoru's side until she woke up, and that's exactly what he did. But everyone, including the recovering Kaoru, thought Kenshin would remain by her side throughout the coming nights… but it was not so. The moment he put her to bed he gathered his blanket from near the wall and left, not an eye turning to gaze upon the sleeping girl one more time.
Yet she wasn't asleep and felt the absence of his eyes, crying out for him to understand what she still couldn't grasp. Kaoru fell asleep after finding the warmth of his embrace again, much more warm and comforting now that he had shared a precious gift with her. Her first kiss, a few blissful seconds of a sensitive touch, had left her yearning for more yet aching from the loss. She loved him, that was declared before the heavens in many a prayer imparted out of joy, sadness, and now confusion. She was waiting… waiting to see Kenshin on his knees before her Lord, their hearts once and for all fitted in perfection for one another. Yet that kiss, that beautiful kiss, was given and shared outside of that bond and even though she delighted in it she couldn't help but feel the numbing pain hiding in the corner of her mind, dragging it's length down 18 inches to her heart. She loved him, but her love could never compare to the love that existed even before the foundation of time itself… her love could not, now or ever, weigh against what God wanted for Kenshin and his soul.
Her eyes blinked in the dark, nothing but her imagination brining out the visions she was seeing…
There she stood, rain drenching her to the bone, and a man avoiding her gaze. Her eyes continued to watch the scene replay itself, as if reliving it would bring about another outcome, a different response from the same young man.
*Oh, Kenshin… why don't you understand?* Clenching her eyes shut she shook her head from side to side. Megumi came in and saw this, not saying a word until completely ready to get to bed herself. Now comfortable in her sleeping robe, Megumi propped her elbows on her futon and rested her head in her upturned palms, watching the shadowy silhouette of the girl in across from her.
"Kaoru, are you still awake?"
A second or two passed and then came an answer.
"Yes, I am… I've rested so much during the past days it's difficult to fall asleep now."
"That's not the only reason you are up, am I right?" Megumi's voice inquired, the sympathy in the words not being missed by the troubled youth.
With a sigh, Kaoru knew she couldn't hide anything from her friend. "You're right… like always."
"Well? Don't make me guess the rest, even though I am pretty sure I would get it right if I did."
Kaoru didn't answer verbally, she just growled in tired annoyance.
"So, now you're mad at me asking?" The hint of a smirk could be heard with the older woman's words. "Guess I'll just tell you what I think it is. Hm, let me see… Where should I start?" After a short moment of silence, she began a report of her recent observations. "Alright, you and Kenshin went outside and watched the snow and something happened to get you upset."
"I'm not upset." Kaoru said, sounding a little troubled in her denial.
"Yeah, sure. Okay, maybe just a bit confused. Anyway, you pretended to be asleep so he would bring you here and leave you be for the night." Kaoru knew the woman was sharp, but never to this level. And she was the one on whom Megumi set her keen eyes on. "If it's any consolation, he seemed a little pained as he set you down on your bed and tucked you in. It looked to me he would have wanted to speak a few more words with you." The woman was so intuitive it was scary. Every word, though understandably vague, spoke precisely of what went on, in particular where Kaoru's thoughts were. Now Kaoru couldn't back out of spilling everything, and she knew she needed this release; an ear to listen a heart to understand.
"You're right… about all of it." A shaky sigh came forth, Megumi hearing it and frowning in sadness.
"What happened? Kaoru…" Megumi's haughtiness exchanged for words of worry. "You know you can tell me."
Kaoru let out a few shaky breaths, a smile coming to her face for a second before a frown took it's place. "He kissed me…"
"And that's bad… how?" Megumi asked, confused herself as to what proved so difficult to handle. She remembered back when Sano kissed her for the first time she couldn't wipe the smile from her face for a good few days.
"You remember what I told you earlier?" Kaoru answered with a question of her own. "It tears my heart to imagine life without him, Megumi. Even if we've known each other for but a few months I can't see myself with anyone else. And above all, Kenshin has to see his need for God in his life, not just for our lives to be united, but for his own soul to be made whole."
"Just don't worry about it… Remember, God said that a year to us is like a mere second to Him… His time isn't our own, Kaoru, just wait and see what happens. But I do understand, it's an easier thing to say than to do."
Megumi heard Kaoru let out a few deep breaths, feeling herself easing up on the worry she held for the girl.
"Thanks Megumi, I needed that."
"It's no problem at all, little raccoon girl." Kaoru couldn't help but laugh at the old nickname.
Everything settled down and silence reigned once again over the room in the night continued to deepen.
"Kaoru?" Megumi's sleepy voice called out.
"Uh huh, what is it?" Kaoru yawned.
"This was your first kiss, right? So … how was it?"
"Megumi!" Kaoru said, taken aback and a bit embarrassment. She could feel her face automatically flame up with the mention of it.
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A groan of discomfort could be heard coming from the largest bundle in another room, the occupant of the bed twisting the blankets all around his lanky limbs. Another muffled groan…
"Noisy girls… Why won't they go to sleep already?" Sano said, pulling his pillow over his head in frustration. "My sensitive ears pick up even the tiniest noise. I killed that stupid cricket just a few minutes ago and now we have some more noise coming from down the hall."
"Why don't you just go and squash them like you did the bug?" Yahiko asked half sleepily, half sarcastically.
"Oh, shut it, Yahiko. I don't need another mouth running off and keeping me awake."
"Then stop your own griping so we could all get some sleep." Yahiko got his wish, but not exactly. The darkness concealed the flight Sano's pillow as it was hurled at the young boy's head. A smile came to the older one's face once a distinct groan was heard coming from appropriate direction. "Sano, you jerk! Why'd you do that for?"
"You told me to be quiet so I let my pillow talk instead." Sano snickered, expecting to have his pillow returned. His smile started to slide off his face when he started losing patience. "Hey runt, give me back my pillow."
"Nope… that's what you get for being such a kid. Gosh, and people call me little."
A feminine voice flittered down the hall to Sano's ears, bringing him to slowly get up and walk to the door. There he pressed his ear against the wood, trying to get a better idea of what he was hearing. There it was again, a laugh, or girlish giggle coming from the other room. Sano's curiosity took a hold of his mind, taking control of his actions. He walked back to his futon and grabbed his white shirt and threw it on his back before walking back to the door.
Yahiko frowned as he made out the silhouette of the other as he walked across the room and began opening the door. "What are you doing now?"
The dark hid the smirk that came over the man's lips. "Just going out for a little midnight stroll… down the hall." Sano began to walk, stopping to look around, and then starting up again. He repeated this process a couple of times until he arrived at his destination. He cringed internally as the floor under his feet screeched a bit, enough so that the hair on his neck stood on end, a panicky fear grabbing at him at the thought of being found out.
*Don't let them hear that, don't let them hear that…,* the silent wish repeated over and over in his mind. He sighed in relief when the door did not open and no angry Megumi standing there to pound him into the ground. Even if he was a experienced fighter, he stood no chance against the woman, her eyes alone capable of burning him on the spot. He crouched down and cupped his hand around his ear, leaning in to overhear the words being spoken. He wondered if he would find his way into their conversation somewhere along the line. From what he gathered already the women were talking about an embarrassing incident involving Kaoru and someone else… He came too late to catch the name of the person that made Kaoru...
"Blush?" Sano whispered to himself. There was only one person capable of doing that to the Missy he knew and that was the redhead sleeping away in the room behind him. Sano shook his head with a smile, wondering what the rurouni did to get Kaoru so flustered at the mere mention of it. And if he knew Megumi as well as he thought, it was a matter of time before every detail would be weaseled out of the poor assistant master… and there he was, more than ready to soak up the information. The street fighter wasn't one for gossip, but he took every opportunity to stock up on good batch of blackmail.
"Sano," a voice called from behind him, startling the spy enough to make him jump. "What do you think you're doing?"
Yahiko watched as Sano turn toward him frowning as he wagged his finger in front of his lips, an urgent signal for silence. After a moment and the release of an exasperated sigh, he waved for the young boy to join him. Yahiko glanced around a couple of times before stepping foot into the hall, a loose floorboard groaning underneath his weight. Sano's hair stood on end, more than usual, as the fear coursing through his veins stole the color from his skin. With wide eyes Sano watched to see if the door would open… after a couple quiet minutes he realized nothing had changed. Another internal sigh was released and the older man glared at the noisy boy, his cover having nearly been blown. He turned his hatred at the floor after Yahiko made it there without another sound.
"So," Yahiko half whispered, half mouthed. "What are they talking about?"
Sano pressed his ear to the wood again, reaffirming his thoughts before answering. "I think they're talking about Kenshin." He said with a grin.
"What?" Yahiko asked, his voice hitching to a level not exactly considered quiet. Sano cringed as he heard the women taking a break, a pause coming about right after Yahiko's outburst. Both looked the other in the eyes before slowly backing away from the door, scooting along the wall.
The noise of someone coughing and the scraping of dragging feet sounded from down the hall behind them. When Sano looked over his shoulder he saw a short figure stumbling down the hall at a slow pace, holding their left arm with their hand, the entire sleeve discolored from what came from under it. Yahiko saw this and got up, recognizing the person before Sano did.
"Misao?"
The girl fumbled in her step, tripping over her feet in her attempt to stay balanced.
"Aoshi… L-lord Aoshi." Sano, being the closest one to her, caught her in time before she fell. Instantly, the heavy smell of blood made it's way to the two people in the hall, watching as it trickled down from under the hand she pressed to her shoulder, trying to lessen the flow that was leaving her cold. Her legs gave way under her weight and she fell heavy against Sano's arms, her eyes closing as her teeth gritted in pain.
"Misao, what happened?!" Yahiko asked, more than worried by the sight of Misao's wounded shoulder.
The blood spilling over her fingers was dark, caking on her skin layer upon layer. Her eyes, though halfway closed, scanned the area outside of the arms keeping her upright.
"I need to see Aoshi." Her voice spoke, it's strength failing as she winced in pain.
"There's no time for that now." Sano lifted her completely in his arms, her body limp and growing cold in his grasp. "Megumi!"
The doctor, having heard the tumult out in the hall, yanked the door open. Sano brushed past her and entered the room, heading straight for Megumi's bed.
"Put her down gently." Megumi ordered after taking but a few seconds to understand the situation. She grabbed her blanket off the bed and rolled it up quickly, placing it under the girl's head as Sano let her down.
Kaoru has risen in bed, sitting up to watch what was going on, everything unfolding in a disorderly manner. All was hectic and the air burned in alarm as voices, pressingly loud, spoke and shouted throughout the house. The dwindling fire light from the small stove set an eerie glow to the urgent movements of bodies rushing in and out of the room. A few minutes passed and Megumi hurried in with a some bandages, Yahiko following closely behind with what looked to be a ceramic cup and a bundle of towels.
Megumi told Yahiko something, the words falling deaf on Kaoru's own ears, yet they were enough to get the young boy to leave. In place, Sano entered and nodded as Megumi told him something. Kneeling down beside to the girl he placed his hands down on her unwounded arm, holding it fast to the futon on which she lay. Misao looked up at them and nodded at what they were telling her, her chest still heaving with her erratic breath. Megumi told her of what she was about to do and placed a rolled up piece of cloth in the girl's mouth, telling her to bite down on it.
If the blood flow wasn't stopped it was very unlikely that Misao would live through the rest of the night.
Kaoru saw the scene playing just beyond the foot of her bed and held her breath, the heaviness in her gut telling her what was to come. She felt the apprehension increasing behind the girl's glassy eyes, the tears ready to spill any second now. Once Megumi pressed the towel firmly on the deep cut and all in the room cringed. Misao's scream of anguish was muffled by the cloth, yet none of it's piercing horror was spared on the ears of any in the house, including those who stood outside of it.
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Standing in the snow was a witness to the events of that night, the person that helped Misao walk home from the Doshisha, a place where ideals collided and blood, obviously, now tainted the snow underfoot. Misao, along with a couple other Oniwaban ninjas, were standing watch and guarding the Doshisha for the night when they were attacked.
The witness, labeled as neither ally or foe, stood his ground near the porch, the smoke from his cigarette being swept away by the current of the cold wind. Yet he didn't stand alone… Kenshin sat nearby, his head down in thought and hands clenched and gripping nothing but air beside him.
Kenshin came out of his room seconds after hearing Sano's voice calling urgently after Megumi. Just as soon as the doctor came into sight she asked him to retrieve what he could from the wash room of the Aoyia; towels, cloth, whatever clean material he could find. And from the look in her eye, he did so without a question asked. When coming back from the wash room, arms full of what he collected, an obnoxious laugh filled the air as he past by the open door at the end of the hall. The rurouni didn't need to turn his head to know who it was standing there, but he did so anyway, his lips pressed into a firm line as his eyes narrowed at the sight. Nothing was said for a good minute, both men staring the other down sharing the same abhorring glare. Yahiko walked by quickly, his small hands holding a cup of water as carefully as he could, trying not to spill in his haste. Kenshin, with eyes unmoving, called him over and handed his load to the boy, his stoic expression enough to quiet any questioning from the young one.
Now he sat, the weight of the inevitable hanging over the entire house pulling his already exhausted mind away from rest.
"What do you plan to do now, Himura?" Saitou asked, examining his cigarette for a moment before throwing it down and grounding it in the muddied snow. "The Christians of the Doshisha have all fled, those that made it out alive, that is. And now, the Urakami have their eyes set on finishing off the Oniwaban along with you and your companions as a bonus."
"What is there to do? There is nothing that can be done outside of the obvious." His eyes, still narrowed but softened by pain, stared at the man in uniform before dropping his gaze to his hands. "I will fight, if need be."
"If need be? They will accept nothing less from the former Hitokiri Battousai. These people are out for blood. If you are unwilling to kill, they will make sure that blood is yours."
"I said I will fight, but I won't kill, that I will not." Kenshin grit his teeth and shook his head.
"You will not go far with that mindset, I assure you." Saitou's patronizing words sent a chill down the other's back, a familiar fear clutching at his heart with it's poisoned talons yet again; a fear that his hands, once stained with blood, will always be stained. Kenshin shook his head again, clearing his mind as best he could.
"I am no longer the man you once knew." He heaved a heavy sigh, lifting burdened eye to look the other man in the face.
Saitou couldn't help but see the visible change in the other's demeanor, his face no longer rigid and cold as in years long-ago. Even the color of his eyes, once burning with a passion for the battlefield and gleam of clashing steal upon steal, were tempered to a quiet hue of violet. "Your eyes speak true to your words, yet you must understand that the fire of the Battousai is still present. Though different from before, I've seen an old piece of who you were alight behind your gaze." Breaking the stare, Saitou turned his face away.
At that time an agonized cry broke through the air, it's chill stronger than the bitter cold of the late night. Saitou seemed unfazed, but Kenshin's heart felt like it stopped after hearing it.
"You have grown weak, Himura… I think you should stay inside when the Urakami decide to come." Kenshin tore his eyes away from in the direction of the dormitories, Saitou's haughty smile enough to earn him another glare. Kenshin stood up, ready to defend himself… yet no words made it past his lips. With his jaw set and eyes still narrowed he turned to leave, not wanting to hear anymore of the words he'd heard a million times over in his own voice.
"Things have changed, but are you sure it is all for the better?"
Kenshin picked up on the words falling faintly on his ears, the distance between the old rivals increasing with every step he took. He felt the cold of thoughts ignored take hold of him once more…
He needed some air, but not at the price of sharing it with the likes of the man outside. Inside… He hoped to find his solace and peace of mind inside. But that was unlikely with all that was going on a couple doors down. There, not a one was left undisturbed by the night's events. The streets of Kyoto were bloodied yet again, the innocent having fought to protect while they were unprotected. From such pure cruelty and hate, could anyone hope to be safe?
Kenshin's compassionate side told him to check on Misao and see if he could be of any service, yet the small part of his mind, the indifferent piece craved to remain numb and unfeeling to the things around him. It told him to forget the years he wandered and find his place, his existence, in the battlefield once again.
*No… no!* He screamed at himself, his fingers pressed against his temples in attempt to drown out the thoughts that were pushing out what he was learning to be true… He no longer is the man he once was, but would this transition he underwent last for eternity or be crumbled in a couple heated minutes of battle. Where did his identity, his soul, his life truly lie?
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"So, Saitou has already told you? Three of our own dead, and five police officers as well." Aoshi spoke, these being the first words out of his mouth once Okina relayed the news of what had happened. His face eased a bit, his mask of indifference giving way only slightly for the hurt brought about by such a loss. "And Misao… how is she?"
Okina thought he heard a disquiet spirit speaking from within the other man's voice in his question, his eyes not as betraying as his words were to his usual nature.
"I am not too sure, Aoshi. Why don't you go and check up on her?" The elder looked at the man hard, his eyes focusing on the reaction he would get from the tall ninja. They both had heard the painful scream that tore the night and Okina saw how the other's body tensed at the sound.
An answer came by way of action… Aoshi walked out of the room without a word to confirm where he was going.
Okina looked out into the yard from where he stood on the balcony. He never imagined to find himself and his Oniwaban family in a place where their lives would be sacrificed. And for what, a faith they had no part of? He lifted his hands before his face, his wrinkled and age worn hands. These same hands once held an incredible strength and power in the days of his youth, but now they quivered in their weakness. If he had retained that power, would he be able to put an end to the threat against his family? Where had that power gone? The old man's eyes, dark as they happened to be, were willing to see a truth beyond what his finite wisdom could tell.
*A truth that caused lives to be lost… a truth worth dying for.* He thought to himself, his face grim as he went over the names of his beloved students who were lost in death but a few hours ago. "Beshimi, Hyotoko, Shikijo… you will not be forgotten."
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Parched lips closed around the small bundle of herbs brought for her mouth. With a pained gulp she swallowed the medication, Megumi having told her it would put her to sleep. The girl quieted her mind as much as possible as to hear the words being whispered in an attempt to be kept from her, spare her the pain of hearing what was going on. Ignorance was said to be bliss… but being left in the dark only made her nervous and twisted at her already uneasy stomach.
A few of Megumi's words made it passed her ears. The woman said something about how the wound wouldn't close up, too much blood was being lost. Misao knew this to be true from the simple fact that she couldn't feel her left arm do to how cold it had gotten. More words were spoken but she couldn't hear them, the special herbs calming and dulling her senses. Her eyes felt heavy and she gave in to their downward pull.
In closing her eyes, she began to imagine someone else sitting in the room watching over her, a comfort she desired but didn't have while laying awake.
A hand came and moved across her forehead, wiping the sweat drenched tresses from her face. Her large eyes wanted to open and see who was being so gentle, their touch comforting her in a way unlike any of the others in the room. With the medicine taking it's place in her system, it made opening her eyes more difficult than before. She managed to lift her lids open enough to be met with a blurry image of someone's face staring down at her.
*Aoshi?* She squinted and focused on the smile she saw twitch at his lips. Unfortunately her now wearied mind didn't let her linger in the conscience world for too long after. The drug ran it's effect through the rest of her body, taking the image of his face away and replacing it with a peacefully deep sleep.
Megumi looked in Kaoru's direction for the first time in a while, the younger woman unmoving with her worried stare fixed upon the young ninja. Finally, their eyes met across the few feet distancing them, the length seeming longer than normal when no words were exchanged. But then Megumi spoke, urging Kaoru to take heed of her words and leave the room. Kaoru eyes answered as they refocused on her bed as she tried to get up, and tried was the word. She couldn't move her legs… they lacked any sensation and especially didn't comply with her thoughts. As if he read her mind, Yahiko stepped into the room and walked straight to her.
"Come on, Kaoru… you don't want to see any more of this." He grabbed her by the elbow and helped her to her feet. Standing proved to be one task and walking an entirely different one. Yahiko allowed her to lean on him for support as he led her out of the room.
"Yahiko, make sure you stay with her." Megumi's voice rang out against the apprehensive air of the room. All in the room, except for the patient, knew what was going to be done and thankfully the boy had come at the perfect time to spare Kaoru the sight, not to mention the smell, of it all.
The boy looked back and the first thing he saw was the flaming red tip of an iron newly fished out of the stove's fire. Sano glanced at him, not a smile on his face as he walked over to Megumi. Both wore grim looks on their faces as they prepared to seal the girl's wound. He shut his eyes tightly for a second before continuing out the door, Kaoru along with him.
A slow paced walk brought them to the other dormitory, Yahiko leaving Kaoru to enter alone while he walked off to get some fresh water from outside. With stomach weaker than before, Kaoru walked a few steps inside and came upon the nearest futon, her feet tripping over it in the dark. With an exhausted sigh she fell upon it, the cushioned mat welcoming her weight and conforming perfectly to her tired body. Now if there were something to rest her tired mind on she would be set. It wasn't her bed, but she promised to apologize to whomever usually slept there. For now, it was her resting place for the night, and no one would be able to do anything about it.
With her training have been neglected for so long her ability for sensing the presence of others had deadened a bit. If it hadn't been so, she would have known that she was not alone in the room. Kenshin sat near the door, his head bowed low between his crouched legs, his sword leaning in it's usual place at his side. Too much had been laid on his mind in the past days, warring sides tearing his heart to pieces as they fought for his attention… and for his trust in their personal truths. His mind had retreated back in a quiet meditation, away from the chaos of memories that were standing by, ready to throw their torture before him yet again.
The rustle of material lifted him out from hiding. He hadn't heard her enter the room yet there she was, lying on his bed. With a quick sweep across the room with his eyes, the dark of the night providing enough light for him to see, and he saw no one else present. He watched as she curled her body into a more comfortable position, instantly settling herself more at ease than he had seen her be all day. Kenshin smiled to himself, his mind being overtaken with thoughts of her pushed out all the other things that troubled him before. He wanted to be at ease… he needed to find rest as well. He stretched his legs out in front of him, leaving a few feet between him and his bed where Kaoru stayed still. From the way she was breathing Kenshin could tell she wasn't sleeping… but why? Yahiko must have helped her walk because the day had been a tiring one for her, especially since she hadn't fully recovered.
A soft hum filled the room, a pause taken before it continued. Kenshin lowered his eyes to the ground and closed them in thought, interested to find the melody ringing as familiar to his ears. Where had he heard this song before?
Kaoru thought she was alone in the room, none but God Himself present to listen, He always listened. She came up with the idea to sing, hoping to bring her mind at peace, a place from where she could drift to sleep. With eyes closed she parted her lips just enough to let out the words.
"Amazing grace…how sweet the sound…"
Kenshin's eyes snapped open.
"…that saved a wretch like me…"
He had heard these words, the same words having been sung in the past where they etched themselves into memory.
Kaoru smiled as her whispered song brushed against her hand lying in front of her face, the warmth of her breath reassuring her to continue.
"I once was lost, but now am found…"
It felt as if she knew he was there, but his suspicions from before remained. She sang alone…
"…was blind but now I see."
Alone she sang, but the simple meaning behind the words carried themselves to a place he denied existed in his heart, his mind, his soul. The song spoke to him, directly to him. The language went beyond his ears and grabbed a hold of something much deeper within… His yearning for peace.
"T'was grace that taught my heart to fear…and grace my fears relieved."
His head began feeling a little light, an unknown exhaustion drawing him away from where he could hear the song being sung. Shaking it clear from it's weariness, he focused again on Kaoru's voice.
"How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed."
His hands began to shake where they rested by his sides. He lifted them into his lap where he gathered them together, putting a stopper to their trembling. The answer seemed too unreal to imagine, but too promising to ignore. Again, like so many times before, he knew he had to make a choice on his own. But was he ready?
She continued to sing, a line never heard by the man being unveiled before him now. Kaoru's voice sung the words with a renewed strength, the lyrics showing a glimpse of her heart at such a time.
"Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come…"
She inhaled unevenly, her breath laboring as if choking on… tears.
" 'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far…" Another breath was taken, a pause stretching after she whispered the last of the line, fainter still as sleep quieted her.
"…and grace… will lead… me… home…"
Without words to explain what it was he had heard, and why he had heard them in the first place, he couldn't deny the thread linking him to everything said. Not one thing uttered from weary lips could be confronted with anything else more true… She had been delivered, on many accounts, from situations where her life could have been taken from her. And still, through the gloom of days past, she carried on with this hope… this hope of grace to lead her on.
He, too, was given many chances to lean on this hope Kaoru and the others held to… hope for the day and that the creator of it would see them through, be it anything they would face during it's many hours.
The choice was laying before him, ready for his mind to be set, his heart in full alignment with his decision. Right as he prepared his mind to speak in silence the words he couldn't disprove, a flash of blood running from faceless, nameless bodies killed by his sword showed itself in his mind… Among them a face, a beautiful ashen face looked up at him next, blood smearing across pale skin and pale lips that moved around a few short words…"Forgive me… forgive me, my love…" This phrase, Tomoe's last words, asked him to pardon her actions, his own having ushered her to death's door.
*I've forgiven you… and you have forgiven me… But they can't.* Kenshin grit his teeth, the act bringing pain to his jaw. He didn't care, welcoming the pain once again with the flood of memories that enjoyed torturing him to no end. *But there is an end, I know there must be!* He prepared himself, taking up arms to fight again the battle never won. *God above,* he began to plead. *Show me an end to all this pain…* He winced behind closed eyes, images once again flooding the forefront of thought. His tainted past began resurfacing as he spoke to God, for the first time, on his own behalf. *Those I've killed, knowingly murdered, aren't here to forgive me, to let me live.* And then it appeared, no warning to the normal scene of Kenshin's mind; one simple word presenting all that he needed to hear…
Grace.
It stuck out among the insults and the disparaging demons having dug their claws into him, some lingering from the time of his childhood. It brought a light to a place that knew only the darkness of an persistent gloom.
That word made his heart pound in excitement and confusion. Could such a thing be so easy to obtain… so easy to call one's own? He knew the answer, and now it was time to give his reply to the call…
*Above all else I have heard… This grace, God, your grace, can pardon even me…* He quieted his mind, his thoughts becoming the background to the serenity he so desired… and now it was time to make that peace his own.
Yahiko stepped foot into the room, the patter of his sock covered feet upon the woodened floor enough to draw Kenshin's attention. The boy, being more astute of his surroundings, spotted Kenshin right as he entered the room.
With a finger to his lips, Kenshin asked for silence, gesturing with his eyes toward the now soundly asleep Kaoru occupying his bed. Yahiko smiled, happy to see her finally resting. There was something in the room that garnered unlike any Yahiko had sensed while being in the same room as the former assassin, and it made the boy want to smile. He watched as Kenshin lifted himself off the floor, pat the dust off his clothes, and walk over toward the door.
"Kenshin," Yahiko whispered, finding it the opportune time to relay what he had been given to deliver. "Aoshi told me he wants to speak to you."
With a gentle nod of his head, Kenshin started walking out the door. "Thank you Yahiko, I will go see him now." With one last look inside, he held the boy's vision with a soft smile. "Watch over Miss Kaoru for me."
"Of course."
When Kenshin finally left Yahiko went over to place the small cup of water he had brought with him beside Kaoru's head before taking up a spot on his own bed, watching her as he had been asked to yet again. He didn't mind, after all, she was his teacher and earned his respect. But that wasn't all of it, he also loved her like the sister he never had.
In the other room the awful smell from the procedure began to dissipate over the hushed minutes following it. Misao lay in sleep, her newly burned wound wrapped with a set of clean bandages. Aoshi stood nearby, leaning against the nearest wall in silence. He had stayed by the girl's side and held her hand while Megumi seared the wound shut with the heated iron. As could be imagined, the whole ordeal was a necessary one, yet one no one wanted to dwell upon. Kenshin had come upon a scene of exhausted minds and bodies. Megumi was currently rummaging through her bag of medicines and herbs with slow, sluggish movements that showed off how worn out she was. Sano sat beside her, speaking low enough so only she would hear. The offered words would often make a smile climb from to the surface of her face, the mere action confirming that Sano's words were cheering her up. The street fighter reached in the bag and fished out one of hers, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles in a soothing manner. He leaned in and whispered something in her ear, acting as if all else around them didn't exist. Kenshin had to turn away from the intimate sight, his heart longing to have something similar to that once more. The next that hit his vision was the exact person he was told to see. Aoshi raised his eyes from off of Misao's sleeping form and nodded once before walking out the door in indication for Kenshin to follow. The redhead knew this and began to leave the room, but something tugged at his mind to stop. In doing so he turned back to look into the room and there it was, the first thing to come into view… Kaoru's Bible. Calmly, he walked over to where it sat, picked it up, and left the room.
Aoshi stood just inside the hallway, and once Kenshin arrived he wasted no time saying what he needed to say.
"Three of own are dead, and Misao lies there wounded. All of this on account of what?"
Kenshin was left without an answer, seeing the impact of loss in the uncharacteristic sag in his shoulders.
"The Urakami left a message," Opening a fist Kenshin didn't notice held something. It was a bloodied piece of paper, a recognizable scrawl staining it as well. "They've told us to be ready by first light… ready to fight. I advise you tell all in your company to be ready as well."
"We will be prepared," Kenshin assured the man, his fingers tightening around the book. "I promise you, this time we will be."
Seeing as the conversation was brought to an end, Aoshi returned to look upon Misao one more time from the door. Kenshin noted that his glance was long, shadowed with hurt. Aoshi threw Kenshin an indescribable look as before he walked away for the remainder of the night.
Kenshin did as Aoshi had and went back to the room, his eyes searching for a certain spiky brown haired man. He was in the corner sitting next to Megumi, her head rested against his shoulder, tired finally closed in sleep. Sano's eyes came to see Kenshin standing in the doorway, a serious expression upon his face.
"Sunrise…"
With that word alone to be heard, Sano knew exactly what was being said. There would be a battle, the mention of the fight he anticipated a few days ago leaving a bad taste in his mouth. He turned to look at Megumi and out of the corner of his eye watched as Kenshin left. Sano didn't want to fight anymore, not if it would be taking place but a few feet from their door. His brow creased in worry as he thought about the fast approaching morning. With a quick prayer, he scooted his arm out from under her weight and wrapped it around her shoulders, protectively hugging her to him. His frown slowly began to loosen as sleep escorted him in it's own embrace, even if it be but for a few short hours.
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Old, thin pages slid back and forth between calloused smooth finger tips. His eyes read on, every page marked with paper strips put there over time by either Kaoru or her father. Every word, he soaked them in. Every line, every promise… given and made especially for him. And now nothing hindered argued against what he was reading and finding for himself. Lips moved over certain words, reading aloud some in a whispered awe.
" 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'…"
The light beside him, the flickering flame of a little candle, shown bright against the small printed words… each character standing out on the page on their own. He glanced off to what he balanced in his hands, his reversed blade shining more with every wipe he gave it, each one coming as he read the book sitting open in his lap.
A world of pain, a world of darkest woe… It all showed itself in what happened, not in legend, not in myth, but in the history given by this book. Blood was shed over it, and blood was shed within. Links appeared between verses and chapters intertwining them. Every word worked together, painting a picture of what he was looking for. Never had he imagined what he came to see presented upon ink filled pages to be the truth he sought after. He'd heard of the cross and who it was that was hung upon it…
Illustration after illustration, example upon example, it all became clearer to him with every verse he read. He'd learned of blood spilled, sinless and perfect blood, that has the power to cleanse even the worst of offenses…
He sighed to himself as he stared straight ahead with a softened smile, after which he returned yet again to cleaning his sword.
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Stars began returning to their place of hiding along with the midnight blue of night.
Morning was on it's way, at last.
Cracking and eye open, Kenshin was awakened to find the sun had yet to come up. His heart told him to hurry and get ready, the pending battle outside of the Aoiya gates being just one of two he needed preparing for. He closed the book on his index finger, the Bible having stayed open in his lap, just like he had left it when he closed his eyes. Slowly, he raised himself and stood to arrange his sword back in it's place at his side. He lowered the Bible so he could see and went over what it was he last read before falling to sleep, reviewing it in his mind for without the light not much could be seen of what he had before him.
There was a short knock at the door and Kenshin knew what it meant since the sun was just below the horizon. Moving in the room he passed by the woman bundled up in his bed, the blanket tightly tucked around her lithe frame. He wanted to smile at the sight, and he did… Looking at the leather-bound book held in his hand, he set it near the foot of the bed. His eyes found it odd that she frowned in her sleep when he took his hand up off of the book.
He stood and faced the door again, but this time he was more hesitant to continue on.
*I've kept my promise. I wish you to know that, no matter the outcome of what happens this morning.* He continued to cradle her with his eyes. Kenshin crouched down next to her and planted a soft kiss to her warm cheek. His violet eyes closed as he whispered his wish.
"Please, wait for me, Kaoru."
Upon opening the door he saw Sano leaning against the wall adjacent to it and Aoshi and a couple other of the Oniwaban were waiting within the hall. All were silent as they walked out and into the yard, the dawn fast approaching off in the sky in front of them. The clouded heavens were dark as the day before, yet no rain or snow present this time around.
Kenshin was the last one out, Sano but a couple steps in front. With his hands in his sleeves, the former hitokiri balled them into fists as he wondered what he should do now. The others had made it out the gate and into the street while he and Sano lagged a bit behind, both still in the yard.
And that's where it happened…
Steal against wooden sheath was heard, the sound of Kenshin drawing his sword ringing across the snow covered grounds. With a firm downward thrust Kenshin fixed his sword into the ground, kneeled before it, and bowed his head.
"I come to you, believing with my heart and knowing you'll make me whole. Through your grace I receive salvation. Through your death I am forgiven, from this day forth. In your death and in your life, your grace is more than enough for me… Once lost now found, once blind but now I see. Thank you… my Lord. Amen."
Kenshin looked up into the sky above him, smiled, and picked up his sword. He followed Sano out sheathing his weapon, the other having witnessed the decision made while waiting by the gate.
Saitou had arrived with a couple other officers, joining the Oniwaban outside in the street, all wearing faces free of any fear they may be feeling at the moment. Kenshin's gaze met that of Saitou's across the width of the road, the wolf wondering what his former rival had done after their little talk the last night. Kenshin was at peace, and he trusted, had faith, that God would guide his sword.
Saitou had pointed out Kenshin's weakness the night before… and now God would perfect His strength through it.
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A warm tear rolled down a warm cheek, the same one kissed before by the lips that spoke to God minutes ago. Sano wasn't the only one who witnessed Kenshin's turning point, and the pounding of this woman's heart could attest to that. The sight stole her breath away… he glowed as he finished his prayer; she could see it in his eyes as he sent his smile upward. She prayed for heart to choose, and now after seeing it become reality before her eyes, she cried. They were tears of joy, and tears of understanding her heart. Her will was aligned with that of God, and now she knew…
Kaoru loved him, and her love was true.
It was God-sent. What He created could never be broken or taken away by any man… or any weapon.
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The pounding of feet echoed down the empty street. The early morning air had prepared for the singing of birds, the waking of the Winter wild flowers, and now the blood-lust of those having stepped foot on the street in front of the Aoiya's gates.
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A/N: A-ha! I finally got it done! This chapter is finished!!! Woohoo!! Okay, now I'm tired. *sigh* I can't believe how long it took me to get this out. It was going over so many scenarios in my head on how I was going to end this chapter, but I think I'm fairly okay with how it turned out.
Writer's block is killer… I hate the darn thing. I don't think I've ever had it this bad before. Thank goodness I can start fresh with a new chapter. But let's put that aside and talk about… this chapter! How did you guys like it? I hope you enjoyed it as much as the other ones of the story. So… reviews are a nice thing and it would be exciting to see some more in my email inbox in the next days or so. I want to hear from you! I miss hearing from you guys!!! You all inspire me to hold fast to this story till the end… Thank you for your support… you all know I need it. Anyhoo, take care and God bless!!