Author's note: I have a 15-page term paper I need to begin working on, so I can't guarantee daily updates any longer. I'll try to have at least one or two chapters out a week though. I'm sure you all understand. :P
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Oro's words rolled around uncomfortably about Erik's head for the rest of the night. A hypocrite? What did he mean? If you would judge another on appearance alone, you will only repeat the sins of those who rejected you. Do not make a hypocrite of yourself, Erik.
He was not a hypocrite! He didn't hate Tess for her plainness or her functional, pragmatic nature. The girl clearly had developed her skills and curious androgyny for the sake of sheer survival and he could not fault her for that. He had never berated her for it, at any rate. He couldn't remember speaking a word against her in Oro's presence. She just wasn't Christine, that was all.
Tess was plain. Christine was beautiful. Tess did not sing at all. Christine sang like a goddess. His own soul flowed out to the world through Christine's voice. How could Tess ever reflect him like that? She had too many of her own ideas and opinions and her own path in life to do what Christine had done. Christine had been simple by comparison. She had become another piece of art for him as he shaped her voice and, loathe as he was to admit it, her mind. She had been the greatest acheivement of his life. All of his art was inexorably a part of himself and he could no more exorcize Christine from his soul than he could his music. His heart still bled from the wound of her parting.
Erik slept fitfully and woke late the next morning. Breakfast had long since passed and he wandered out to the garden. Oro was not in his customary spot and was likely holed up in his office with Endo going over neglected business. He looked down the creek bank and saw Tess perched in a tree several yards away. He moved to approach her but suddenly stopped, springing soundlessly up into another tree behind him instead, climbing high in the branches with the deftness of a gibbon.
Erik was so used to spying on people that the act no longer caused him the slightest twinge of conscience and he watched her. She had in her lap a pile of the long thin blue-green blades of grass that grew between the trees near the creek. She was braiding and weaving them together, occasionally reaching over her head to pull leaves from the branches and work them into the pattern. When she lifted her project to inspect it, he saw that the object was not anything with a definite form, but a fluid geometrical pattern somewhat bringing to mind the intricate knot-work so favored by the Irish. She began looping more of the reeds around the edge of it, forming a circular frame to contain it.
Erik watched her for nearly an hour as she completed the tedious project. She must have been out here since dawn to finish it. She slipped down the trunk of the tree and began walking back toward the house with her finished work. She passed the tree Erik was perched in and took three steps before stopping. She looked up, searching around as if she'd heard something. Her eyes landed on Erik up in the branches. She stared at him for a full minute before turning without a word and continuing on to her original destination.
Erik dropped from the tree like a cat and went inside. He found the object before he found Tess. She had dropped it on the table in the hall thoughtlessly, like it had meant nothing to her. He picked it up and studied it, trying to follow the lines with his eyes. It seemed to have no ending or beginning, just a continuous blue-green loop ever folding back on itself, creating a web of ellipsoid shapes. It was mesmerizing. He tucked it under his arm and went further into the house.
Tess was not in her room, so he went to check the library. It was empty and he was about to leave when he caught sight of the papers scattered over the floor. He picked them up one by one, finding detailed life-like sketches of random objects laying about the library. Some of them were drawn so close-up that he had to stare at them for a minute to discern what the object was. Some of them he could not figure out at all.
He nearly dropped the page when he picked up a sketch of his own face. Why on Earth, or off it, as the case may be, would she want to draw him? He was beyond ugly. But there it was, a sketch of his face in intricate detail down to the last vein and wrinkle. The pictures he had not been able to figure out before now made sense – a bit of his collar bone, a bit of his arm, half of his ear, the lower corner of his 'nose'… He scooped up the remaining papers to find even more mixed in with the inanimate objects. How she had managed to look at him long enough to make a fairly complete catalogue of all the unclothed parts of his body, he did not know. No one else save Oro had ever been able to stand the sight of him without at least a bit of unease, if not outright terror.
A detailed study of his eyes raised more questions than answers. Tess did not seem to recognize ugliness when it stood before her. Perhaps that is why she dressed plainly and wore no powder or jewelry? How could one look upon ugliness and mistake it for beauty? He tried to imagine, for a brief moment, what the universe looked like through this damnably confusing girl's eyes. He could not quite manage it. Nor could he resolve this with the object he'd picked up from the hall. Again, the girl simply made no sense!
He turned around as someone entered the room. Tess stared at him with her mouth slightly open. She glanced back toward the door briefly. She obviously had not expected to run into him. Her eyes fell on the papers in his hand and her face turned red as her eyes went wide. She let out a strangled squeak and rushed over and snatched them from him, hugging them to her chest.
"Tell me you didn't look at them, you weren't supposed to see them…"
"I looked at them. I'm not angry if that is what you fear, though I cannot fathom why you would wish to draw me."
Tess shrugged.
"You have no reason, then?"
She shrugged again.
"You're interesting. I like to draw interesting things."
"'Interesting'. I don't think I have ever been described as interesting before. Hideous, perhaps, or maybe monstrous or a corpse… but interesting?"
"Well… You're not pretty, but I've seen uglier things."
"I doubt that."
"Well, you don't have to agree with me. I've seen a lot more than you have. And I still think you're interesting."
"I've seen quite a bit myself, I'll have you know. I have at least two decades on you."
"All spent on one planet. I've been to over a hundred of them."
"Briefly. I, however, have been to India, Persia and all over Europe for more time than it took to capture some criminal and leave again. I've seen enough."
"Point taken. Why are we arguing about this? I still think you're interesting."
Tess walked past him and flopped on the couch. Erik sat down gently beside her and set the papers on the edge of the end table. He pulled the reed project from under his arm and set it in his lap.
"I don't suppose you could explain this object to me?"
Tess stared at it blankly.
"That stupid thing? It's nothing. Just something I threw together this morning to keep my hands busy. Helps me to think."
Erik fingered the object, tracing the infinite loop with a deceptively delicate looking finger.
"What were you planning on doing with it?"
"Nothing, really. Let it hang somewhere till it turned brown, then chuck it out."
"You spent hours on it. You could simply throw it aside?"
"I can make another one. I mean, I usually don't remember the exact pattern of them since I just make them up as I go along, so they all turn out a bit differently, but still, I can make more. If you like it so much, you keep it."
Erik turned it around in his lap, still seeking his way out of labyrinth.
"If you see so little worth in it, perhaps I should keep it! What would this universe be worth if there were no beauty in it? Beauty should never be so carelessly tossed aside!"
Tess frowned. She didn't think they were talking about her little reed-web any more and the hint
"But ugly things should? I don't think that's a very healthy attitude to have. Plenty of pretty things are worthless, harmful even. Some ugly things are necessary."
"Ugliness is sign of the taint of evil, Tess. You would do well to learn to recognize it and steer clear of it."
Tess seemed to think about the meaning of that statement for a minute, then shook her head and rolled her eyes again.
"Erik, that is such utter bullshit, I've half a mind to slap you for it. Evil has a beautiful face. It would have to, otherwise how could it seduce anyone? It might be ugly inside, but on the outside, it would almost have to be very attractive. You catch flies with honey, not vinegar. Besides that, I've met plenty of beautiful, seemingly virtuous people who were actually quite rotten inside, nothing but a whited sepulcher. I've also met plenty who would crack a mirror by looking at it who were about as kind and generous as they come. Ugly things can be evil or not; beautiful things can be good or not. They're not mutually exclusive."
Erik sneered at her.
"Foolish child. You clearly do not know what you are talking about!"
Tess huffed and stood up, standing before him with her hands perched on her hips defiantly.
"I think I know damn well what I'm talking about. You're not evil, you're just too damned vain for your own good. I swear, you're obsessed with your appearance! And everyone else's! For chrissake, get over it! Oh boo hoo, the pretty singer wouldn't marry you so you had to blow up something! Do you really hate your face so much that you to need to tie some pretty little spoiled doll to yourself to wake up in the morning? Learn to live with your own feathers, you bloody peacock!"
Erik's eyes burned and he stood up abruptly, causing Tess to stumble back a few paces as his superior height towered over her. Her eyes did not leave his once, though, despite her obvious discomfiture. Her bull-headed courage only angered Erik further. Any other woman would be cowering in the corner right now, why couldn't she just follow the damned rules! He practically roared at her.
"Do not speak ill of Christine! Never speak against her! She was an angel of beauty far beyond you in beauty and grace and you could never hope to match her, you ugly little TOAD!"
He was expecting her to bolt from the room immediately, or cry. She did neither. Tess's eyes narrowed threateningly and she stared up at him more defiantly than ever. She practically spat her reply in his face.
"Better an ugly little toad than a great ugly fool who can't see beyond the end of his own flat nose!"
She turned on her heel and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind her. The drawings perched on the table fluttered again to the floor. His own sad eyes stared up at him from his feet, accusing him. He gave it a swift kick, sending it underneath the couch.