Chapter Sixteen

Discoveries

Two hours later, Tara and Spike were snuggled up together on the loveseat, the dreaded Resurrection text open across their laps. Dawn was sitting on the floor, her back leaned comfortably against Spike's legs, Willow's journal open in her hands.

They still had nothing. They had gone through spell after spell, but none was the one Tara remembered from that night.

With a frustrated sigh, Spike dropped his head back against the loveseat. Just then, Tara suddenly jabbed at the book with a finger and nearly shouted in her excitement, "There!"

"You found it?" Spike's voice was relieved and hopeful as he looked up at her.

"This is definitely the one!" Tara nodded emphatically, still scanning the spell. "It's the only one in the entire book that requires an urn of Osiris." She frowned as she read the spell more closely. "My God!" she gasped, in a soft tone of dismay. "How could I have missed this before?"

"What, love?" Spike's attention was instantly focused on her, devoted and protective as always.

"There is no way that Willow should have had enough power to pull this thing off!" Tara shook her head, looking up at Spike with wide, fearful eyes. "This is serious magic here. Very dark, very powerful magic! As far as I know there's only a handful of people alive who have enough power to do this, and they…" She shuddered, reluctant to finish her thought. "They're…so far gone…"

Spike felt a chill go through him as he processed her words. His eyebrows raised, he concluded softly, "Red's been playing with fire."

Tara nodded slowly. "For her to have the power to do this kind of magic…she had to have done something to increase her power—a lot!" Her voice was hushed with dread. Although she had no intention of ever being with Willow again, the thought of someone she had loved so dearly being involved in something so dark, placing herself in such danger, made her sick with fear.

"Whatever it was," Dawn broke in, looking up from the journal, a frown on her face, "she was really scared to do it. Listen to this; it's dated about a month before she brought Buffy back." She turned back to the journal as Tara and Spike turned their attention toward her.

"'I don't know if I can do this. I've always thought and said that I would do anything for Buffy, but this is serious stuff. If I go through with this, I'll have almost unlimited magical power. And it's the only way I can bring her back. But at what cost? I mean, it seems so scary and dark and…and invasive. It is. Something will be invading--me. But—I'll still be me, right? I mean, it will be there, but I'll still be in control. I'll still be the same person, won't I?"

"'I don't care how much it requires me to do. I have to do this for Buffy! She saved us all, I can't leave her to suffer for her sacrifice in some hell dimension! I don't care if it kills me, I'm going to get her out!'"

"Something invading her…" Spike frowned. "What the bleedin' hell is she talking about?"

Tara looked pale. "I don't know. But it sounds like she was messing with forces way beyond her control! I would have thought that Willow would have known better…that she would have thought…"

"She thought she was helping Buffy," Dawn whispered, looking up at Tara. "She didn't know what she was doing, and she didn't care. All she cared about was Buffy, and she thought she was in hell."

There was a brief silence as they all considered the implications of this new discovery. Breaking the reverie, Tara said softly, "Good job, Dawnie. Keep reading. We need something with a…a name or something…anything that says exactly what she was going to do to get the unlimited power."

Dawn glanced at her watch and shot Tara an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, guys, but I have to go. Buffy isn't working today, and she'll be expecting me home from school in like, half an hour."

"'S ok, Bit. We'll take it from here. Keep your eyes and ears open, Pet. Let us know if you find out anything important," Spike said, standing to hug her. Suddenly the atmosphere of the room was charged with emotion. He held on tight for a few long moments, not wanting to let go, and he could hear Dawn sniffling against his chest. Tara had filled them in on what she had heard at the Magic Box, and both knew that it might be a while before they saw each other again.

"There now, pet," Spike murmured into her hair, holding her close. "'S gonna be all right. Big sis can't find me here. I'm perfectly safe. And once we've figured this all out, everything will be back to normal." He knew that "normal" was never to be seen again; even if they could bring Buffy and Willow back to normal again, for the three in this room who had been so wounded by the changes in them, things could never be the same again. And there was always the very real danger that they would not be able to bring them back at all. His words were a sweet lie meant only to comfort the girl he loved like a daughter, sister, and friend all in one.

But Dawn was not a child, and she knew the truth as well as he did. Sobbing now, her voice muffled against his black shirt, she swore, "If she hurts you again, I'll kill her! I will!"

"Shhh," he whispered, shaking his head. "None of that, now, love. Won't come to that. Come on now, Bit. Can't show up at home, like this, make her ask questions. Come on. There's my brave girl."

As the soothing words flowed over her on his warm-honey voice, Dawn felt herself calming. She dried her tears, trying to regain her control. "Ok…I'm ok," she sniffled. Smiling in an effort to be his "brave girl", she said with more strength and assurance than she felt, "I'll see you soon." She gave him one last quick hug and headed for the door.

She was almost there when that low, warm voice stopped her again. "Bit?"

With a half-turn toward him, she replied, "Yeah?"

"I love you."

A warm glow spread through her at the words. She knew that Spike loved her; he had risked his life for her countless times. But he rarely spoke the words aloud. Gracing him with a brilliant smile under eyes shining with tears, Dawn replied softly, "You, too," before heading out the door.

Spike just stood there for a few moments, watching the door. Tara could see his mouth working, his hands trembling; he was fighting back tears of his own. Going to him and wrapping her arm around his waist, she said softly, "Come here, Baby," and led him back to sit with her on the loveseat. Turning sideways, she pulled his head down onto her shoulder.

"Everything's going to be all right," she softly assured him. "We've finally got something to go on here. We're gonna work this out, Baby. We are." As she spoke she drew one hand up to lightly stroke through his hair. God, she loved him! After all that he'd been through already, he was being so strong and courageous, protecting and nurturing Dawn, who was probably getting nothing of the kind at home anymore. And for all his encouraging, optimistic words, she could see the fear that was always there in his eyes, and was determined to try her best to do for him what he had done for Dawn.

"I know, love," he replied, sounding deeply tired. "I'm just sick to death of this. Hiding, pulling Dawn into the middle of this whole nasty business, just…just feeling so bloody weak! Just…just everything, love!" He lifted his head and gave her a sad, helpless sort of smile before covering her lips with his own in a gentle, lingering kiss. "Everything but you," he amended. Suddenly he frowned, reminded of something by his own words of moments before. "I just remembered, love. When I ran into Willow the other night… she was strong…very strong. She grabbed me and I couldn't pull away from her. That's why I had to hit her."

Tara frowned. "That's odd."

"Yeah. Maybe whatever she's done made her stronger physically too," he continued, nodding. Then he frowned, too. "Or maybe I'm getting weaker. Too much time just lying about…"

"Well, playing punching bag to a psychotic Slayer for the past few months might have a little to do with that, Sweetheart," Tara reminded him gently. "Cut yourself a little slack."

"I know…but either way…if Red's getting stronger, then stands to reason Buffy's getting stronger too. Or if I'm just weaker, either way… I need to be getting ready. For whatever happens. I have to be strong. I can't hide away forever, love. I won't."

Tara searched his eyes for a moment, then nodded slowly. "I have an idea about that; I'll need to go out in a little while and get some things. But for now, let's see what else we can find in Will's journal. If we could figure out exactly what we're dealing with, then maybe we could know how to fight it."

They spent the next hour scanning the journal, and finally came upon a reference to the ritual Willow had performed which included its name.

Tara read aloud, "Reyem Rasco…" She turned noticeably pale. "Oh my God!" she whispered.

"What?"

"I've heard stories about this all my life, but I never thought they were true. I thought it was like a cautionary tale about magic, to keep people from going after too much power. I had no idea…" Her voice faded as she shook her head, staring at the page.

"Well, tell me the story, love. I've never heard it," Spike reminded her, only a touch of impatience in his voice.

"Ok," Tara sighed, trying to gather her thoughts. "The ritual is called Reyem Rasco. It involves calling on this entity…Reyem…it's not a spirit, not a demon, nothing like anything else…completely unique…but it has incredible magical power. It's said that if a person performs the ritual to combine their essence with Reyem's, they'll have unlimited power.

"But it's not free; it's an exchange. Reyem is incorporeal; it needs a human body in order to carry out its will, and its will…its only all-consuming desire… is ultimate power.

"Naturally, the kind of person who would actually do this ritual is someone who craves power. When it first starts out, they kind of feel like they've somehow lucked out and gotten a free ride…all this magic power, but it doesn't seem like anything's happened to their free will. And by the time they do realize, it's too late.

"Reyem starts off by just giving them the power to do whatever it was they wanted to do in the first place. But with all that power, nobody's gonna stop there. And with every exercise of power the person does, Reyem gets stronger and stronger. As the power corrupts the person, their will and Reyem's become more and more mingled together, so that they can't tell the difference anymore. This thing just feeds off power…so the more the person does its will, the more they lose themselves, and Reyem's true form eventually begins to manifest itself."

"Meaning?" Spike was frowning in confusion.

Tara looked at him, eyes wide with shocked realization. "The person begins to gradually show qualities of Reyem…"

"Super-human strength, maybe?" Spike muttered.

Tara nodded slowly. "Or a massive personality change…becoming abusive to those around them…until finally…the person herself is lost completely…and Reyem takes over," she finished.

"So these…acts of power that the person performs which feed this thing…what sorts of things are we talking about here?" Spike asked, his voice strangely soft, thoughtful.

"Well, a good example would be Buffy's behavior," Tara acknowledged, seeing the direction his thoughts were taking. "If that is what's happening to her. See, she has a controlling personality to begin with—Slayer thing, I guess. So every time she lost it with you…it fed Reyem's power in her. And every time it got a little more in control, so her behavior got worse and worse. But she doesn't know it; by this point their two wills would be so mingled that she just thinks the things she's doing are what she wants. Their wills have become the same," Tara explained.

Spike was quiet for a long moment. Then he said softly, "So…it…wasn't Buffy, all that time?" Tara was struck by the raw pain, the vulnerability in his voice. But what kind of hurt was the other emotion she heard there…hope. He so wanted to believe his words, but she could not lie to him.

"If we're right about this," she began cautiously, "partly it was, and partly it wasn't," she replied gently, laying a comforting hand on his arm, swallowing back her own insecurity to deal with his pain. "It was her, at least at first…but as it got worse…it was her less and less…as Reyem took over. Does that make sense?"

He nodded slowly, "So…do you think…there's any of Buffy…left?"

"I don't know," Tara softly replied, as the words became another stab through her heart, trying to hide the hurt she knew was in her eyes.

"How would it have happened to Buffy, anyway?" he asked, frowning. "If Red did the ritual…"

"She used her power to give Buffy her life again…her power came from Reyem…I'm guessing there was a partial transfer somehow." Tara shrugged.

"Not hardly fair," Spike muttered with a heavy sigh.

Tara was watching him closely, her huge, soft eyes troubled and hurt by the confusion and indecision she saw in his eyes. Facing forward, he did not notice as he summarized the discussion to be sure he understood.

"So…Red took this Reyem thing into herself to give her the power to do the spell to bring Buffy back…and when she did it, it transferred partly to Buffy, and this thing feeds off power, so since the both of them are control freaks, it kept getting stronger and stronger until now it's probably taken over almost completely and now the evil psycho things they're doing are not really them but this Reyem beastie. That about it, love?"

In spite of her dark feelings, Tara's eyes widened in amazement. "My God, you got all that out in one brea…" She stopped abruptly, as Spike chuckled. "Never mind. Yes, that's about it."

"So how do we stop it?" Spike asked.

"That's the tricky part. Reyem can only be cast out by the one who called it," Tara grimaced.

"Red," Spike frowned. "Would she even do it?"

"That depends," Tara explained. "She doesn't know there's anything wrong with her. All she knows is that she has all this magical power, and she thinks she got away without any consequences. She's not likely to want to give it up. And the stronger Reyem gets, the less likely it is that she'll even be able to do it."

"She knows what she did. Surely she can see what it's doing to her," Spike frowned again, confused.

"No. She really can't," Tara interrupted. "She hasn't noticed the changes in her. That's the way it works. She thinks what she's doing is what she wants to do, even though it's what Reyem wants her to do."

There was a brief pause before she continued, "And the more this progresses, the more danger everyone will be in. It will start with everyone surrounding Will and Buffy, beginning with the most vulnerable ones. Once they're all destroyed, it will move on to make other connections. Once Reyem takes over completely, it will be completely unstoppable. Super-strength and incredible magical power. Nothing but a wake of utter destruction everywhere they go."

"'Til they take out the world, eh, love?" Spike's smile was grim. "Another apocalypse, then? And no Slayer to stop it. Bloody hell, she is the apocalypse!" He paused to think, then said decisively, "Well, we've just got to somehow get through to Red. Get her to get rid of this thing, assuming she still can. So we can get her and Buffy back. Questions solved."

Tara watched him for a moment, studying him. Standing abruptly and walking to the kitchen counter, leaning on it with her head bowed, she said softly, "All but one."

"Love?" Spike stood, going to her, concern in his eyes at her tone.

Turning toward him just as he reached her, tears in eyes blazing with challenge, she asked, "What will you do once she's back?"