Kansatsu: (sigh) You just had too, didn't you Tobikunai-sama?

Tobikunai: (AHEM) Pay no attention to the bitchy muse ruining the fic intro. But it's true, I just had too. So many readers of KHO loved the MCCRL that I just had to bring them back! If you haven't read the KH Outtakes, you should probably go read them before starting this fic. It'll still make sense if you haven't, but it won't be as funny.

Kansatsu: Tobikunai-sama, we've been over this a million times, and no, I'm not exagerating: YOU ARE NOT FUINNY.

Tobikunai: (glare) Well, minna-sama, enjoy!

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Chapter One: OoOh, Foreshadowing...

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"OH NO!"

The shout could have been heard from miles away. Everyone whirled toward the silver-haired bishounen, who sat in front of the computer screen, mouth agape.

"Everyone" was eight people. Or, to be more precise, two people (Axel and the BHK) four Heartless (Darkside, Guard Armor, Parasite Cage, and AntiSora), and a leopard( better known as Sabor). There was another creature in the group, but he wasn't present, being a shark and not very well suited to the definite above-water-y-ness of the small, cramped room.

"Riku-sama! What happened?" Darkside asked.

"Sora hasn't learned a new spell, has he?" inquired the Guard Armor anxiously.

"Is Tobikunai-sama writing another fic?" AntiSora asked, sounding, if possible, more anxious than his allies.

"No..." the bishounen stammered, then added, in a small, choked voice, "worse."

"No, worse!" Axel mimicked, "How lame! Why does he get to be leader! WHY WHY WHY!"

"Whatever," said BHK, doing an uncanny impression of Leon. "So, what's wrong?"

"K-kingdom Hearts II..." Riku said slowly...

"Yeah?" the others prompted.

"Has been..."

"Yeah?"

"D-d-d..."

"HURRY IT UP!" Axel shouted.

"DELAYED UNTIL WINTER!"

Riku had expected for this news to be met with gasps, fainting, and cries of "No, not that!" and "Oh, Kami-sama, why have you deserted us!". Riku had expected to have to call his group to order, to have to calm everyone down, and to send Axel to go get a few buckets of ice water. Maybe a bucket with a few holes in the bottom, so it would drain out just as he got back to the room... oh, right. (ahem) Riku had been ready for that. This was, after all, the most amazing, exciting horrible moment! His secret had finally been revealed. Now he had to wait and see how they'd react. Yep, when Riku made his announcement, he'd beeen ready for general panic.

What he had not been ready for, however, was eight simultaneous blinks and eight people...no, Heartless... no, things at once asking: "Huh?" The way he'd envisioned it, there was a good deal more panicking. And understanding. And generally knowing what he was talking about.

Riku sighed patiently. Very patiently. "So how do we get new recruits?" he demanded.

Oh. Well. That was a problem.

These ten people (okay, three people, four Heartless, a leopard and a missing shark) belonged to the Minor Character's Constant Returning Leage, often called the MCCRL for the sake of the sanity of anyone who tried to type their name. They were a group of characters who desperatly wanted better parts, so the would reappear, over and over in the game, hoping that the poor, poor Director would crack and recast them. Yes, that was stupid, yes, that was totally nonsensical, but hey, what did you expect? It wasn't like they had anything better to do with their time. Most of the members were minor characters, like that annoying boss that keeps showing up for no explicable reason, even at the very end of the game, or that extremely tenacious mini-boss that you can't get away from, no matter where you were in the entire world. Of course, Riku wasn't a minor character...

"HEY!" Riku yelled at the sky, "Why don't you shut up and let some convieniently place arguement explain that?"

Sure, Riku. Great idea. Whatever.

"Why! He shouldn't be leader," Axel was still ranting, "He's not even a minor character!"

"SHUT UP!" cried Riku, "I DIDN'T GET TO BE THE HERO! I HAD TO BE THE HERO'S BEST FRIEND! THE HERO'S BEST FRIEND DOESN'T GET TO BE WITH KAIRI AT THE END OF THE GAME! IT'S SO UNFAIR!"

"Neither did Sora." BHK pointed out, "and besides, Axel, you aren't a minor character either."

"Neither are you. Your game hasn't even come out yet!"

"Precisely." BHK answered. "So I am a minor character."

"AHEM! The delay! What're we gonna-" Riku shouted over the arguement.

"Oh, right."

Everyone turned back to Riku. Darkside paused his Final Fantasy VII game and listened.

Riku changed direction in misentace. "Minna-kun? I think I have a plan."