Chapter Twenty

This time when Ron regained consciousness at St. Mungo's, it wasn't the livid face of his best friend glaring down on him, it was his sister.

"It's about bloody time. I didn't think even you could sleep this much," she said to him.

"Bugger off, Gin," he grumbled, propping himself up against the pillows so he was half sitting up in the bed.

"You're still a prat when you wake up, no matter how much sleep you've had."

Rather than continue with their normal sibling bickering, Ron said, "how long was I out for?"

"You were really delirious the first couple of days. The Healers had to use magical restraints to keep you from hurting yourself."

Ron could only stare at his sister. He didn't remember any of that. The last memory he had was of Harry hitting him with the stunning spell in the Ministry.

"You were in and out of consciousness for over a week," his sister told him. "Whatever was in that charm really messed you up."

"What about Hermione? Did they find her?" He felt guilty for not asking about her first.

Ginny nodded. "It doesn't make any sense really. Whoever had her just left her in a street in Diagon Alley. That's where the Aurors found her. She regained consciousness a few days ago."

His relief was short lived when he realized Ginny was hiding something. "What aren't you telling me?" He demanded.

"Hermione was a lot worse off than you. I don't understand all of it but the Healers are saying her brain chemistry is all off. I don't know what that means."

"But she's all right now?" He pressed.

"Ron, you should talk to her."

"Ginny, I'm talking to you, so why don't you just tell me what the hell is wrong with her?"

He looked a wreck, so she took pity on him. "Whatever Hermione was doing it was some pretty powerful magic – and we all knew it. At Remus's with the wandless magic, using that charm on Harry to make him feel better after Azkaban and about a million other things. Ron, it's not your fault," she said, interpreting the guilty look on his face. "We all realized what was going on, we just never paid enough attention."

"Can I see her?"

"Maybe in a bit," she told him. "I walked by her room before I came in here and her dad was in there.'

"That bad?" He could picture Mr. Granger's reaction when he found out yet another dangerous thing his daughter had been exposed to.

Ginny nodded. "Remus was in there too and it sounded like that time when mum grounded Fred and George for blowing up the broom shed." At the time, even though her mother's fury hadn't been directed at her, just hearing the way she told off the twins made Ginny never want to disobey another word she said. She had been eight at the time. Thinking about it now made her laugh because it had taken the twins about a week to get over their mother's incessant screaming before they were moving in to far more troublesome projects. Her joy ended when she felt the splitting pain in her head start.

"Gin?" Ron said, his voice filled with concern.

"I just got a headache," she said, wincing slightly. "I'll be all right. I'm just going to get some air." She knew leaving so suddenly would make her brother worry, but she needed to sit down, and Ron was already worried enough about Hermione without her having to add to his problems.

She felt a little better when she got out into the hallway, but it was one of the worst headaches she had ever experienced. She found a chair to sit on, knowing she just needed to sit down for a while and not move and she would be all right.

"Every time I come here it's always the same damn thing," said Mr. Granger, absolutely furious. "You're always in some kind of trouble or danger. I didn't think anything could be worse than the last visit when I found out you could have gone to jail, but now I find you're some kind of magic addict. Of all the things in your world, drugs were the last things I thought I'd have to worry about."

"Dad, I'm not on drugs," Hermione insisted.

"Mr. Granger, what's going on with your daughter is a bit more complicated than that," Lupin intervened.

"Mr. Lupin, while I appreciate everything you've done for my daughter, you are the last person I want to be hearing from right now. She was living under your roof this entire time and you had no idea what was going on."

"This is not Remus's fault," Hermione cried, adding to the already throbbing pain inside her head.

Her father ignored her. "Obviously, the lack of any sort of stable adult figure in her life may have been a contributing factor."

Hermione didn't know how Remus could stand there and look so calm. Ever since Tonks had accidentally let it slip to her father about his lycanthropy, he had been incredibly cold, and for lack of a better word, prejudice towards Remus.

"I'm going back to the hotel," Mr. Granger announced. "I only have a few days vacation left, and since I know I can't force you to come back with me, I guess I'll be leaving at the end of the week."

Her father marched out of the room without another word.

Hermione looked at Remus, feeling the need to apologize for her father's behaviour. "Remus – "

"Don't apologize for him, Hermione," Lupin cut in. "Your father has every right to be angry."

She was taken aback by the harshness in his voice. She had never seen him angry like this.

"You put yourself in danger without even considering what the repercussions might be. I'm not just talking about the artifact charm either. You've been recklessly using untested spells on yourself and others, but I suppose I wasn't paying close enough attention. I had no idea you had become so dependent on magic for everything. You forgot the most basic rule of magic that all first years are taught – magic isn't a tool to do your bidding with, nor is it a crutch to be used at your will. Your use of magic is out of control and it needs to stop. And I think the only way for that to happen is for you to stop using magic altogether."

Hermione stared at him in complete disbelief; sure she had heard him wrong. What did he expect her to do if she couldn't use magic?

"That look on your face is exactly why you need to stop. Hermione, I've seen witches and wizards who have got so caught up in magic that it consumes them. You're a bright girl, and the most intelligent student I've ever taught – I don't want to see you lose all that."

She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. She caught herself mulling over in her head everything she wouldn't be able to do, and realized how right he was. How was it she had come to rely on magic so much without noticing it herself?

"I never said you had to go through any of it alone," he added a moment later. "I'll help you as much as I can, but most of it will be on your own."

She swallowed, already imaging what it was going to be like. But it wasn't as if she had ever backed down from a challenge before, and she wasn't about to start now.

A flash of movement in the doorway caught her eye, and she saw Harry standing there, brushing snow off his Auror cloak. Even without his empath abilities, he would have picked up on the tension in the room.

"Should I come back?" He said uncertainly.

"No, I was leaving now anyways," Lupin started, "I'll come back later," he said to Hermione and then walked out of the room.

"Is everything all right?" Harry asked her, taking a seat in one of the two chairs in the room.

"Funny you should ask that," she said, picking at the hospital blanket on her bed. "With the Department of Mysteries having locked down my department, I'm officially unemployed. I doubt they're in a hurry to release anything and with the entire Experimental Charms area under investigation it could be months before it's reopened. And Remus told me I have to stop using magic which means I'm effectively useless," she said, looking up at him.

"Hermione, you could never be useless," he said in quick response to the accusation on her self. "But I agree with Lupin on the magic part. I don't want to see my best friend destroy herself," he said, looking at her through his glasses.

"What about Jack Anderson?" She asked, changing the subject.

"The Aurors have him in custody. Mackenzie's been interrogating him. If they've found anything, no one's said anything yet. Once they get everything they can from him, he'll be given a proper trial and then sentenced to Azkaban. He'll never get out, Hermione."

"That doesn't make me feel any less of a fool," she said bitterly. "I worked with him every day for the last six months and I was clueless. Every project I was working on, he was secretly feeding information to Voldemort. So now we have to start all over."

"Hermione, there were forty other people in your department, not to mention the entire Ministry of Magic was fooled," Harry was quick to remind her. She didn't seem to hear him, she was looking at something passed his shoulder.

Ron was standing there, wrapped in a white hospital robe. He looked a lot steadier now than the last time Harry had seen him on his feet.

Ron wasn't sure what to do with himself. He wanted to go to Hermione and show her how relieved he was that she was okay, and even though Harry was in the room that wasn't what was stopping him. He settled for holding her hand instead.

Harry cleared his throat and stood up.

Hermione saw what he was doing. "Harry, you don't have to leave."

"Yeah, mate, why don't you stay?" Ron added.

"It's okay. I think I'll grab something to eat. You want anything?"

"Don't say the word food around me," Ron groaned, his nausea returning.

Hermione similarly shook her head, looking a little green in the face. She had barely been able to keep anything down for days.

Feeling more than a little awkward, and the fact that his friends still hadn't said a word to each other, Harry excused himself from the room. He made sure to close the door behind him.

When he was out in the hall, he spotted Ginny sitting outside the room, holding her head in her hands.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" He could feel she was in pain.

"My head hurts," she moaned.

His hand accidentally brushed against the side of her arm and she groaned out loud.

Harry had seen enough. "I'm getting a Healer."

"No," she protested. "I just need to lie down for a bit."

Harry didn't quite believe her, but knowing arguing would be pointless, offered to take her home. She agreed but kept a certain distance between herself and Harry at all times.

When they finally made it to Remus's, she vaguely heard Harry say he would stay downstairs. But by that point she was already so close to passing out, she forget about Harry and everything else the instant her head hit the pillow.

Hermione had known all along it was going to be hard to give up magic, even if it was just temporary. She just hadn't realized how hard until she was physically packing up all the magical books in her room. There were dozens of spell books that made up her own private collection, not to mention all her Hogwarts texts that she had accumulated since first year. With each book she felt like she was packing a little of herself away as well. There was one book she had yet to touch since beginning the raid of her room. She had been secretly hoping it would disappear on its own, because she wasn't sure she had the will power to pack it away.

Ginny, who was packing up a large box filled with a variety of spell ingredients, looked over at her friend and could see her reluctance. "Remus said everything," she reminded her.

"I know," Hermione said, feeling snappish and immediately regretting it. She shouldn't be taking this out on Ginny. It wasn't her fault her use of magic had gotten out of control. She had nobody to blame but herself.

"Are you sure you didn't rob the Hogwarts library?" Harry asked, coming back into the room after taking another load of her books up to the attic.

Ginny poked him in the ribs and shot him a dirty look. She expected to scold Ron for being an insensitive git, but most of the time Harry was a lot more sensitive than other guys.

In one swift motion, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to do it, Hermione picked up Hogwarts, a History off her nightstand and dropped it inside the open box on the floor.

"I'll take this one up," Harry said, moving to her side.

She nodded and began packing up another box.

Turning around, Harry almost bowled Ginny over with the box in his hand. He muttered an apology and went to go around her, but she moved to the same side. When the same thing happened a second time, Harry rectified the problem by placing a hand on her waist and moving her to the side. His hand lingered afterwards and she felt her face flush. When he let go, her eyes followed him out of the room. When she turned back around, Hermione was watching her.

"You two certainly seem, um – " Hermione wracked her brain for the right word.

"Strange?" Ginny supplied.

"I was going to go with odd," said Hermione.

Odd sat perfectly with Ginny, who resumed her task of packing away the ingredient measurement kit in Hermione's desk. Hermione didn't seem like she was going to push the subject, and Ginny desperately needing to confide in someone, blurted out, "we shagged."

That seemed to break Hermione out of the funk she'd been in since they started packing up her room. "When? How come you didn't say anything before now?" Hermione questioned her, wanting to know all the details.

"I didn't say anything because you kind of had had a lot going on," Ginny told the older girl.

"I haven't been a very good friend, have I? I don't even know what's going on with you and Harry," she admitted.

"No, you haven't," Ginny said, her tone teasing. "Harry and I ended whatever it was that we were doing and then last week when we were both here it just sort of happened."

"So what was it like?"

Ginny was grateful to finally have another person to share her experience with and who would understand completely. "It was all right I suppose. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting it to be. I mean, it got better after awhile."

"It gets even better," Hermione said to her.

Ginny screwed up her face. "I really didn't need to know that."

Hermione laughed. "You better get used to it. Because all the points of reference I have come from your brother."

Ginny didn't know how anyone could allow her brother to do things like that to them, but she didn't say that to Hermione. "We haven't really talked much since it happened. He needs to figure out what he wants – we both do. But I told him I wouldn't wait forever. I've wasted enough time waiting for Harry Potter."

"Good for you, Ginny," Hermione said in approval. "After what I just saw, maybe that was just the kick in the arse Harry needed."

Ginny gaped openly at her. "It's scary that you're starting to sound like Ron."

"I suppose it's kind of hard not to after knowing him for so long."

"What's going on with you and my brother anyways?" Ginny hoped she wasn't being too nosy.

"We're like you and Harry," she said, closing the last box on her bed. "We have some things we need to figure out."

"It sounds like Lupin and Ron are finished downstairs," Harry said, walking back into the room.

"Let's go down and check it out," Ginny said. "Harry, would you take these last two boxes to the attic?"

He nodded and Ginny started to leave with Hermione, when a hand yanked her back into the room and closed the door, pinning her against it.

"What are you doing?" Ginny hissed. "Hermione saw that! She's going to want to know what's going on."

Though Harry knew that was undoubtedly true, he wasn't concerned about that at the moment. "We need to talk."

The one thing Ginny had neglected to mention to Hermione, mainly because she didn't understand it herself, were the sensations she would feel whenever Harry was around her. Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it was wonderful. Like right then, when Harry had one hand resting on her hip and she felt her face starting to flush. He abruptly moved his hand away and she felt the loss of contact immediately. Harry took a step back from, looking as though he was trying to remember what he wanted to say.

He cleared his throat. "Gin, I know I was a big prat after it – you know, we – " He stammered. He cleared his throat and started over. "What I'm trying to say is things are different now."

"Because we shagged?" She said incredulously. "Honestly, Harry, you've going to have to do a lot better than that."

He stared openly at her, not understanding what she was getting at.

"Saying things are different doesn't change anything. If you're serious about this then prove it."

How am I supposed to prove it?

"Harry, if you can't figure that out. I'm not going to tell you."

Harry gave her a bewildered look. "I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did, just now." She wasn't crazy. She had heard him say those words. She came to the startlingly realization Harry had indeed spoke those words, he just hadn't said them out loud. What was going on here?

Harry was now fixing her with a funny look and she thought it best to get out of there while she could, before he could start asking questions. Questions that she had no idea how to answer.

"Remus, you didn't have to do this," Hermione said, staring at the bare shelves in the small library.

"If you're packing away all your books, it seems only fair that I do the same," said Lupin.

"Where did you put them all?"

"Here and there," he replied. "I'll store some at Grimmauld place next time I'm there."

"And he made me do the whole job without magic," said Ron.

Lupin smiled. "You'll thank me when Mackenzie puts you through all those training exercises when you go back."

Hermione's brow furrowed in concern. "Are you sure you should be doing all that lifting? You were just released – "

"Hermione, I've done nothing but lie down for the last two weeks," Ron said in a patient voice. "I could use the exercise."

"Molly brought over some lunch while you were upstairs," said Lupin. " Do you want to grab Harry and Ginny?"

"They're just moving the last of my stuff. I'm sure they'll be down shortly," Hermione told them. She didn't know what they were really up to but she had seen Harry pull Ginny into her room and close the door. They were going to have to learn a thing or two about being discreet.

While Remus headed for the kitchen, Ron and Hermione remained behind in the study.

"Thanks for helping," she said to him.

"You don't have to thank me. I wanted to be here."

She had to say the next part before it became even harder to do so. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I need to do this on my own."

Ron looked puzzled. "I'm not sure I follow."

"I know that the three of us having always been a team," she started off. "But getting over my dependency on magic isn't something you and Harry can help me with."

Ron folded his arms across his chest. "So what are you getting at?" Even as he said it, he was pretty sure he wasn't going to like the answer.

"I love you, Ron, but I have to work through this before you and I…"

She let the unfinished sentence hang in the air, but Ron understood her meaning clearly. "I know," he said quietly. "Are we going to have a go at being just friends then?"

"And you're okay with that?"

"No," he answered truthfully, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets. "But I'd rather it be like this than lose you all together."

For Hermione, when Ron acted like this it was hard to figure out how things had ended up such a mess between them in the first place. Maybe starting over as friends was just what they needed.