Monday. Groan. Naruto trailed into school, dragging his bag alongside him. He sat down next to Gaara, who looked fine. Naruto, on the other hand, looked like a zombie.
"Jesus, what happened to you? Your lips are all swollen and you look like a zombie." Naruto groaned, rubbing his head with one hand. "I hate Mondays… why do they have to exist? Huh? HUH?"
"What happened?" Gaara repeated.
"I spent the night at Itachi's…"
"Doing what? Please tell me you still have your virginity!"
"…Crackpot. Yes, I still have my virginity." Gaara mouthed 'thank you' to the ceiling, and got shoved off his chair by Naruto.
"Hey, I'm a delicate life form! Mind my beautiful skin, I don't want bruises!" Gaara mock-snarled. The bell rang, and the teacher appeared, taking attendance and then letting the class go free.
First period. Yay! Itachi was waiting outside the drama room, blinking lazily with a grin on his face. Sakon and Ukon sat next to him, and began to prod him.
"Neh, why're you grinning?" Ukon whined.
"We wanna know!" Sakon moaned.
"YOU CANT SPOIL MY GOOD MOOD!" Itachi squealed. Ukon and Sakon stopped.
"Since when did you SQUEAL?"
"Since now."
"…"
"COME IN, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!" The door to the drama room swung open with a 'BANG'. The drama students entered, the newer ones quite scared already. Itachi just laughed with Ukon and Sakon as they sat down in the seats they 'owned' – the ones at the back, and as far away from the front as possible.
"WELCOME TO ANOTHER YEAR OF DRAMA!" Gai-sensei skidded through the back door.
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE! WELCOME BACK!" Itachi realize that the two were both wearing the same type of spandex, and the same huge eyebrows.
"Hey, maybe they're related."
"TAKE THAT BACK!" Yelled the spandex-duo.
"On rock-paper-scissors, sure I will. But, if I win, you have to do three hundred laps of the high school and let us choose the next play we do. If not, I'll just take it back."
"FINE!" Gai screeched. Itachi stood up, went to the front of the class, and stood infront of Gai. This is gonna be too easy… Itachi smirked to himself as they shook their hands.
"Rock-Paper-Scissors!" Itachi cackled madly at Gai's crestfallen face. Paper and scissors.
"Get on with those laps while we choose the play, sensei. Bye bye!" He swaggered to the back of his class, breathing on his nails and scrubbing them on his shirt.
"I am so good." He cackled. The class had erupting into conversation, not one bit of it about drama.
Second period had just started, and Kisame was already bored. He leant his head against his arms, wanting to sleep, and felt a dull pain in his ear as Ibiki-sensei threw a pen at him.
"SIT UP!" Ibiki screeched. Kisame sat up straight, eyes wide. They sagged again soon after. History. Boring…
"And now, it is time for a TEST!" The class rippled with groans. Oh, god… a long lesson was ahead… and it was a HISTORY lesson…
Art. Whoot for late teachers! Kankurou mentally squealed as he sat with his arm around the waist of Hyuuga Neji – probably one of the cutest guys in school – and Neji was sitting next to Kankurou with one arm around his shoulders. Neji snuggled against him, practically sitting on him.
"I wonder what Kakashi would do if he saw us…?" Neji whispered softly. A flash of light answered their question. Kakashi lowered the camera from his face, grinning.
"Sorry, couldn't resist. You look so cute…" He trailed off as he received glares.
"Okay, okay, lets get on with the lesson…" Kakashi grumbled. "Sketching today – whatever you like. No landscapes."
Break. Snore. Kisame was asleep, his mouth open. His throat seemed to be rejecting snores, and turning it into a gargled sound, like he was drowning. Itachi, Sakon, Ukon, Temari, Kankurou and Neji appeared, and Ukon and Sakon poked him awake. When he groaned, they shoved a bar of Chocolate in his mouth and tissue up his nose. He spluttered, pulling out the tissue and the chocolate and throwing it at the twins.
"Thanks for letting me sleep…" Kisame grumbled, yawning. An orange blur flew through the air, hitting Itachi in the back and sending him flying.
"ARGH! NARU! OFF!" Itachi yelled, stumbling around while trying to keep himself balanced. Naruto jumped off, and Itachi fell to the ground. Naruto helped him up, giggling.
"Sorry, Candycane!"
"Oh, god, not you too… Hang on, who are you?" Itachi pointed at Neji, who clung to Kankurou.
"I don't matter." The bell went, and everyone dispersed.
Temari sat. Temari was bored. Oh, very bored. Drama after this… she hoped it would wake her up from maths. With Asuma… The room stank of cigarettes, and it was horrible. Yes. BELL. Temari packed her bag quickly, and stood behind her chair, like everyone else, until they were dismissed. Asuma puffed in the direction of the door, nodding. Everyone charged out, Temari at the front. Her eyes twitched. She sat down outside the door, when she was pounced on by Itachi, who was squealing.
"GAH!" Temari yelled, almost falling flat on her face. She groaned, and poked the squealing ball of tan and black. (AN/ That makes him sound like a liddle doggy 3) Itachi sat beside her and squealed instead.
"STOP SQUEALING! My eardums are close to BURSTING!"
"Yea! So are ours!" The twins chimed. Temari yelped.
"HOW DID YOU GET THERE?"
"We telekinetically moved ourselves." They rolled their eyes into their heads and began to chant random words. Temari edged away.
"That is just creepy." Temari muttered. The drama room door creaked open, and Temari stepped forwards to enter, but Itachi held her back.
"Wait and watch." He whispered. An unweary newcomer stepped to open the door, and she opened the door – a large water bomb fell on her head.
"Oh, so good." Itachi cackled, stepping forwards and opening the door wider – and a bucket of water fell directly onto his head.
"SAKON!" Itachi yelled, taking the bucket off his head. "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU DOUBLE TRAPPED IT!" He glared at the two, who were cracking up, and Itachi shook his head as they went past, flicking them with droplets of water. Temari sat at the back with Ukon and Sakon, shielding them from Itachi's evil wrath of doom, AKA pissed of Itachi. Drama went smoothly… somewhat.
Temari sat out by a tree, waiting for the others to come out of the cafeteria. She sighed, looking up at the clouds through the leaves that left a dappled green pattern on her pale skin.
"Hoi, fan woman." Temari turned her head to the side to look – sorry, glare – at the boy who had spoken. He was tallish, handsome (somewhat) and had a spikey hairstyle to rival a pineapple. He had a green jacket on, and a black shirt beneath it, ending in fish netting. The same with his black trousers. He sat down next to her.
"Aren't clouds pretty?" He sighed, looking up. "Shame the leaves are in the way – OW!" He massaged his head where Temari had whacked him with the fan she had been holding.
"You know that you get paper cuts from fans?" He grumbled. "So troublesome…"
"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?" Temari fumed.
"Troublesome." He got a glare, and another whack round the head.
"What do you call yourself by, anyways? M'Temari." She grumbled.
"Shikamaru."
"Ah… Mind if I call you Pineapple?"
"Aw, man. I thought someone wouldn't notice that…"
"How bout Mr. Lazy then?" Temari giggled when he rose a questioning brow.
"What are you on?"
"CRACK."
"…Seriously?"
"No."
Temari laughed out loud, and gained a worse look from Shikamaru.
"I'm off, Crackhead." He muttered.
"Byebye, Mr. Lazy!" She giggled.
The group came from the cafeteria, including Kankurou and his limpet Hyuuga. They nestled themselves around Temari, pulling Shikamaru back down.
"Hey, who are you?" Itachi persisted, poking Neji.
"…" Itachi turned to Kankurou.
"Um… erm… He's Hyuuga Neji…" Neji opened his mouth to say something, but Kankurou held a can of coke out, and Neji pounced. "GIMME GIMME!" Squealed Neji, diving around to grab the can. Kankurou chuckled as Neji grabbed the can, prising it from Kankurou's grip and cranking it open, downing it quickly and quietly. Neji rocked back and forth for several seconds, then leapt up and did ten squealing laps around the group, patting everyone's heads as he went round. He glomped Kankurou on his tenth, putting an end to it.
"Oh. My. GOD. Kankurou, you've picked up someone worse than ME!" Gasped Naruto, who had appeared out of nowhere and crawled onto Itachi's lap, sitting there with his arms around Itachi's waist.
"When did you get here?" Goggled Kisame.
"I got here… now…" Naruto blinked, and then blushed as Itachi nestled against him.
"Uhoh. Run if you have a problem with Lollipop – incoming!" Whispered Kisame, sending the group into giggles as Sasuke approached. He slumped next to Itachi, glaring at him.
"Do you have any shame? Can you at least push him off you? I'm getting remarks and they are ruining my reputation-" Sasuke was cut off in mid sentence as Itachi unhooked on of his arms and punched him in the jaw, in the dent that Gaara had put in only the day before. Sasuke yelped, cradling his jaw. Itachi cocked his head, raising and eyebrow. He shooed him away, and Sasuke tried to step forwards when Itachi poked him hard between the eyes with two fingers.
"Sorry. Piss off now." Itachi purred, patting his brother on the head and flattening his spikes. Sasuke glared, running a hand through his hair and re-spiking it. Naruto pursed his lips, trying not to laugh. He squeaked as Sasuke got up and left, then burst into laughter, trying to muffle it on Itachi, and only half-succeeding. Itachi chuckled. The bell went, and yet again, everyone dispersed.
Naruto was practically asleep in his book, when Gaara elbowed him in the ribs. He sat up, edging away from Gaara, pouting.
"Hey!"
"You were leaning on my hand! It hurt!"
"Stop whispering…" Came the dull drawl from the front. Naruto sighed, turning his eyes back to his book. Which was dull. And Boring. And about whales. The bell rang, and Naruto shoved his book into his bag and trailed to Pys. Ed with Gaara.
"HEY, GET MOVING!" Anko screeched, chasing the class around the track wielding a hockey stick. "I KNOW SNAILS WHO MOVE QUICKER THAN YOU!" Genma sat to the side, watching the class run fearfully away and around the track. Anko stopped, waited for them to come close to her, and then chased them the opposite way. She blew her whistle, and the class stopped, many falling backwards. Naruto was still standing, barely out of breath.
"Gaara, you are really unfit." He looked down at Gaara, who was lying on the ground, heaving for breath.
"How… are… yuh-you… still… stand… ing…" Panted Gaara.
"…Because I run more than you." Naruto shrugged, then leant against the wall, waiting for the next set of instructions.
Genma chewed his toothpick, smiling thoughtfully to himself.
"What're you smiling about?" Anko sat next to Genma, smirking at her achievement.
"There's one still standing." Anko's jaw dropped, watching Naruto poke Gaara until he staggered upright, still heaving for breath.
"I think we've found one althetic person from this bunch." Genma tapped Anko's jaw, and she closed her mouth, scowling.
"Maybe." She stood, took one deep breath, and started screeching again.
"OI! BLONDE BOY! 10 AROUND THE TRACK!" Naruto blinked in surprise, then took off around the track.
Naruto staggered from Pys. Ed, panting. He groaned, sitting on the changing room bench.
"I don't like Anko-sensei…" Naruto twitched as he changed back into his clothes. Gaara chuckled, already changed, and putting on his boots.
"Well, maybe its because you have too much metabolism." Naruto glared at Gaara as he shoved on his trainers.
"Lets go already. I don't want to hang around incase they come looking for me again…" He grumbled.
When Naruto and Gaara got back, they were witnessing a mock verbal fight.
"Ponytail."
"You have one too." Neji glared at the smirking Itachi.
"Weasel."
"Screw." Once again, Neji glared.
"Skunk."
"Cousin screwer!" Itachi cackled as Neji's face went bright red, with anger and a furious blush. His fists clenched, and Itachi's face blanched.
"Ooops…ie…" Itachi hid behind Naruto, not being very successful considering Naruto was a head smaller than him.
"Help! Evil Hyuuga! Bad screw, bad screw!" Itachi cackled. Neji clung onto Kankurou again, scowling but smiling. If that was in any way possible. The group headed off, when Kisame grinned sharkishly, pointing at a certain white haired boy.
"Hey, look… its Harry Potter!" (AN/ I've always thought Kabuto looked alittle bit like Harry potter, what with the glasses and everything…) He chuckled as Kabuto glared at him, then turned back to his book.
"Stupid shark." Kabuto muttered. Kisame pulled a mock hurt face.
"Oooo… that was so below the belt." He drawled sarcastically. He stuck his tongue out at Kabuto, trailing behind to talk to Deidara and Zetsu.
Gaara sighed. He had taken a walk, away from the group. He was in the park, trailing along the pavements, slumped. He had taken off his trench and shoved it in his bag, with just his fishnet shirt on his chest. He slumped beneath a tree, and looked up through the leaves at the quickly darkening sky, the sunset making patterns along his alabaster skin. He felt a sharp pain in his foot, and sat up, pulling his feet beneath him quickly and instinctively. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"You again." He snarled, standing up. Sasuke glared evilly.
"I demand a rematch."
"There wasn't even a match in the first place, Lollipop." Gaara drawled. Sasuke turned a shade of maroon. Gaara prodded his forehead, copying Itachi. Sasuke stumbled backwards, grunting. He growled, his eye twitching.
"Go home." Gaara muttered bitterly, turning to walk down the pavement again. He walked home, without even turn back.
Sasuke frowned as he sat on his bed, slumped. He could have sworn he had seen that weird unsuccessful drag queen red head had been drooling over him, and now he was calling him 'Lollipop' and laughing at him, without a trace of wanting to salivate or even a hint of a blush. Sasuke grunted, leaning back onto his bed and curling up.
"Hey, Sasuke! D'you want pizza?" He heard Itachi yell from downstairs.
"Sure." He yelled back. He frowned. He pictured the red head in his head again, and felt his stomach flutter. Holy shit… My stomach did not just flutter… right? Oh, god. If I turn out to be gay I'm dead… I'll have to join my brother and his gang! And then I'll be unpopular… Sasuke bit his lip, then realized that he was worrying. About practically nothing. Oh, jeez… it was going to be a VERY long evening…
AN/ To those who don't know, the Japanese meaning of Neji is 'screw', as in a nail, and the def. of Itachi is 'weasel' or rodent… or something. Dunno. Reviews!
Road Kill Roko/ Here be your update! And I'm pleased that someone thinks its funny… My friends at school thought it was hilarious. Stupid people still haven't put up reviews. –glares daggers-