Chapter Thirty-Three
The sound of laughter coming from Remus Lupin's private room, made Harry and Hermione momentarily think that Mrs. Weasley had given them the wrong room number. But sure enough when they peered inside they saw Remus sitting up in bed and Ginny sitting cross-legged in a visitor's chair pulled up beside the bed.
Remus seemed to brighten even more when he saw the two of them standing there. Hermione was the first to give him a welcoming hug while Harry hung back.
"Private room, eh?" Harry said, arching an eyebrow. "It must be because of all your frequent visits.
"They say one more visit and I'll get a permanent room with a view," he said with a small chuckle.
"The view's nothing special," said Harry dryly.
"Did Ron stay at Hogwarts?" Ginny asked Hermione, seeing that her brother had not come in with them.
"He was in the middle of something," Hermione explained. "He said to go without him."
Harry had been a witness to those exact words spoken by Ron. It was a testament of just how tense things were between him and Hermione, if Ron was willing to stay behind and work instead of traveling with them to St. Mungo's.
"I'm going to stop by the cafeteria," Ginny announced, getting to her feet. "Do you need anything, Remus?"
"Thank you, Ginny, but I'm fine."
As Ginny left the room, Hermione not so gently poked Harry in the ribs, who chose to ignore the hint.
"You didn't have to come all the way down here. I know you three are in the middle of something important right now," Remus said to them
"Are you kidding me?" Harry said incredulously. He had been missing for days and then turned up in his werewolf state and Lupin expected them not to come see them?
"You're right, what was I thinking?" Remus said with a touch of humour.
"Why are you acting like this?" Harry asked, confused by Remus's nonchalant and almost joyous attitude. "The Department Head for Dangerous Creatures wants to throw you in Azkaban. I'm surprised he's even considering giving you a trial when Sirius didn't even get that. They just locked him away." He saw Hermione cringe out the corner of his eye, but he kept his attention focused on Lupin.
"Langley has every right to want to see that I have never have the chance to harm any living being again."
"He's prejudice against werewolves, not to mention a Death Eater," Hermione supplied.
"Suspected Death Eater," Lupin carefully reminded the two of them. "There's currently no evidence linking him to dark wizard activities. It's a very serious offence to accuse someone of being a Death Eater if there's no proof to back it up."
Harry stared at him in disbelief. "How can you not be worried about this?"
"Without the cooperation of the Auror department, Langley's statement is not carrying as much weight as it could. Since the Ministry high council received Mad-Eye's report and his recommendation not to press charges, this thing could be tied up for months or even years. I highly doubt Langley cares weather or not he loses. I think this is more about creating a distraction than anything else."
"So that we all get caught up with your case and get distracted from the real issue, which is the war," Hermione said, catching on.
"Yes, that was my assessment," said Remus nodding. "Both Mad-Eye and Dumbledore seem to agree."
"And if Dumbledore agrees it must be right," said Harry coldly. "Merlin knows he's never made a mistake in his life."
"Harry!" Hermione admonished.
He ignored her reproach. "For fuck's sake, Remus. He couldn't save your best friends' lives and you're going to trust him with yours?"
"You of all people should know that Voldemort had already marked James and Lily for death. All Dumbledore did was buy your parents a little extra time. If you want to blame someone for their deaths then go ahead and blame me. They thought I was the spy and that was why they changed secret keepers at the last second and didn't tell me!"
Harry, feeling like he was on an emotional overload stormed out.
Hermione, feeling extremely awkward and that she had to say something, said, "he's just upset about Dumbledore's plan."
"That and he's mad at the world," said Remus, sounding calmer now. "In that respect, Harry's like every other seventeen year old."
Hermione thought it ironic that if Harry wasn't so angry he would be happy to know there was at least some part of him that was a normal teenager.
"Dumbledore called an emergency Order meeting," Remus started, dragging her away from her thoughts. "And from what Tonks tells me, even I have a hard time believing he's condoning such a dangerous operation. Dumbledore has always had his reasons in the past for doing certain things and they've usually turned out to be right. I hope this time is no exception."
Hermione hoped so too. Otherwise, a lot of good people were going to die.
When Ginny joined him on the stone bench inside the magically created hospital garden, she could actually feel his surprise.
"How'd you know where to find me?"
"You spend a lot of time at St. Mungo's. It's not hard to figure out where you would go," she responded.
"I'd have thought you'd gone back to Hogwarts by now."
Harry could hear the resentment in her voice at being left out yet again. "I needed some time to think and clear my head first."
"I've been doing a lot of that lately," Ginny said, hugging her jumper tight around herself as a gust of wind kicked up.
"I'm really sorry for what I said about Percy," he apologized, knowing he should have said that days ago.
"I got so upset because I knew you were right," she told him. "After Percy left home, none of us really knew who he was anymore."
"I was still an insensitive git for saying it," Harry noted.
"I won't argue with you on that," she said and they shared a smile.
That left Harry with the impression he and Ginny were going to be all right.
"Do you love me, Harry?"
That was, until she asked him that.
When he just sort of gaped at her and began to fidget, she said, "it's a yes or no question. Since you can't seem to decide, I have my answer."
Harry stared down at his hands. "Ginny, just because I can't say it doesn't mean I don't care about you a lot."
"I don't doubt for a second that you care about me. But we're kidding ourselves if we think we're happy with the way things are. Maybe we rushed into this too fast. We both want different things right now and I don't want us to keep doing this. It hurts too much."
"I'm sorry," he said, his green eyes locked on her.
She reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. "It's okay. I'm not upset or cross with you. I know how hard you tried, even when I didn't always make it easy for you," she said giving him a smile. "I think we both just need some time apart. If when you're ready you decide this is what you really want, I'll be here."
He didn't know if he would ever be ready for what she was asking him, but he wanted to be. He squeezed her hand back.
Ron closed another book and tossed it onto the 'no good' pile. "I'm trying to decide what's worse," he said to Harry, who was also having as much luck as him. "Studying for the O.W.L.s, studying for the Auror exam, or trying to find something in this great big library when we have no idea what we're looking for," he said, ticking off each option on his fingers.
"Definitely the O.W.L.s," said Harry after giving it some thought. "I spent hours revising for Potions and still couldn't remember half of what my notes said."
"Yeah, that was a right nightmare," Ron agreed. "Hermione still won't tell me how many of Madam Pomfrey's de-stressing potions she had to take."
"Where is Hermione anyways?" Said Harry looking around. "She's been gone forever."
"Harry, it's the library," Ron said in an obvious voice. "You know, Hermione's favourite place in all of Hogwarts? She's probably sitting on the floor somewhere surrounded by a stack of books having forgot all about us."
"What did you do this time?" Harry dared to ask him.
"Me?" Ron exclaimed, taking offense. "Why do you just automatically assume it's my fault?"
Harry sighed. He tried his best to stay out of their bickering and rows and let the two of them eventually work it out but on that particular day he felt compelled to say something. "Because you're usually the one who says or does something to provoke her and Hermione can't help herself from responding. Before you know it the two of you are rowing over something just because you're each too stubborn to admit when you're wrong. It's like a constant cycle with you two. Sometimes I wonder if Hermione picks a fight with you or you pick one with her on purpose just for something to do."
"We have a healthy relationship," said Ron in defense to Harry's comments, even though his ears were burning slightly. "We don't keep things bottled up, you know? I think it's funny you're giving me relationship advice when you and my sister aren't exactly the spitting image of romance these days."
Ron didn't know just how right he was, but right then Harry didn't feel like getting in to any of it. "She loves you, Ron."
"I know that," he said, dropping his gaze to the table. He and Harry didn't usually talk about this sort of thing.
"No, I mean she really loves you. When I was trying to help her remember, a lot of the memories I came across were of you. I barely had to touch them to know I've never felt anything like that before. I can't really describe it but it was powerful. I know we both don't want her to do this, but it's not like we've ever been able to stop her from doing anything before."
"So, you've finally come around to the idea of us together, yeah?" Ron asked him.
Harry nodded. He knew a part of himself would probably always be a bit envious of what his friends shared because he wasn't sure if he would ever have what they had, but more than anything he just wanted them to be happy. They had already proven countless times that their relationship would not change their friendship with him. He just wished he hadn't taken so long to see that.
Ron snorted. "Took you long enough, mate," he said, as if he'd read Harry's mind.
"Yeah, well, I can be a bit thick sometimes."
At the mention of being thick, Ron stood up and went to look for Hermione.
It was scary how dead on he had been about where to find her. She was sitting on the floor, leaning back against a bookshelf, with a half circle of books around her.
"They have this great invention. It's called a chair," he said, dropping to the floor beside her. "I hear they can actually be quite comfortable."
"I thought you were avoiding me," she said, marking a spot in one book before moving on to another one."
"I'm not the one who's hiding myself behind stacks of books instead of sitting with my friends."
She put down the book in her hands. "This is so stupid," she said, shaking her head and laughing.
"Finally, something we both can agree on," Ron said with a lopsided grin.
"You certainly seem to be in a better mood," she observed.
"I guess you could say me and Harry had a heart-to-heart of sorts," he told her. "No, there wasn't any hugging or crying," he added for her amusement. "We've just come to an understanding about certain things."
She didn't ask what about. She didn't have to know everything. Besides, it was good for Ron and Harry to have their own secrets.
He watched her expression fall. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, tilting her chin up.
"We still need to talk about all of this."
He fervently shook his head. "Not right now we don't."
"Ron, you can't just avoid – "
"I'm not avoiding anything," he cut in. "We can talk about this crazy plan and anything else you want after."
"After what?"
"Well, I happen to know for a fact that the boys' dorm is empty," he said, his tone suggestive.
"Oh? And what makes you think I want to go to up there?" She said coyly.
His grin broadened. "We could stay here if you want. I bet you've always fantasized about doing it in the library."
She blushed. "Don't tell me yours is a Quidditch pitch?"
Ron didn't look the least bit embarrassed. "I guess we know each other too well," he said leaning forward and capturing her lips in a fierce kiss.
When the kiss ended, she asked, "what should we tell Harry?"
"Nothing. Harry's a smart bloke. He'll figure it out for himself," Ron said, jumping to his feet and pulling Hermione with him.
Hermione didn't even think to argue with him on that, as she allowed herself to be led out of the library.
They were lying in Ron's old bed in the boy's dormitory, and if Ron chose not to think about anything and just focus on Hermione who was lying on his chest, it almost felt like they were still in school. Granted, they probably wouldn't have shagged on his bed in the middle of the afternoon with the curtains drawn open around his four-poster bed, he thought with a smirk.
Hermione felt rather than heard his soft chuckle and lifted her head, "what's so funny?"
"I was just thinking that If we were still in school, there's no way you would have come up to my room and done this."
She knew she wouldn't have done it in such an obvious manner, like disappearing upstairs in the middle of the day, but that didn't mean she would be against the idea altogether. "I guess you'll never know. Besides, I probably would have been Head Girl in our last year, which means I would have had my own room," she added cheekily.
"I like the way you think."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "And what part of that did you interpret to mean I would be bringing you up to me room?"
"You sure as hell wouldn't be bringing any other blokes up there," he growled, and then to emphasize his point he rolled them over so he was on top.
"Is it some kind of male dominance thing that guys prefer to be on top?" She asked.
He rolled his eyes. Only Hermione would think to ask something like that. Before he could come up with a response, she was pressing her lips against his, then down his neck and throat, and he couldn't remember a single thing they had been talking about to save his life.
She was kissing her way down his chest, when she asked, "what time is it?"
Ron wanted to know how she was able to stay in control like that when she was making him lose his mind. Remembering what she had asked him, he glanced down at his wrist. "Harry's probably thinking we got lost somewhere we've been gone so long."
She stopped what she was doing. "Maybe we should go back."
Ron like her use of the word 'maybe'. It meant she didn't want to get out of bed and go back to that musty old library any more than he did. "I reckon we probably shouldn't leave Harry to do all the research," he said, just for good measure. But when he thought about Harry, his thoughts turned to the plan and he started to feel sick. He moved off of her to lie flat on his back.
Hermione could tell right away something was wrong. She rolled onto her side so she could look at him. "Ron?" She said his name softly.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said more harshly than he intended to. "Look, we just had a really great time and I don't want to ruin that by getting into another fight with you," he explained to her.
"We won't fight then," she said simply. "I promise," she added, seeing the skeptical look on his face.
After some hesitation, Ron decided to call her bluff. "How do you know you're going to be able to fight off You-Know-Who if he tries to control you? Harry had been practicing Occlumency for months and You-Know-Who was still able to possess him."
"Harry wasn't putting the effort into Occlumency that he should have been. He wasn't practicing on his own and doing the exercises that Snape had asked him to do to shield his mind," Hermione reminded him. "I wasn't going to say anything because it probably won't work, but we could use the sacrificial spell."
Ron cringed. "You want to do that spell again?" There was no way they were not going to get in a fight about this.
Hermione shook her head. "After what happened last time, I wouldn't want to chance doing the spell again. But the remnants of the spell is probably still inside us, which means technically that our souls are still linked."
"All right, so how does that help us?"
"Harry and I had to join our souls with yours to try and heal you. When we did that, our minds were linked and we could see each other's thoughts. So instead of trying to heal someone, that power could be used to seek out the real mind of a person who's been possessed and bring that consciousness to the surface."
"So Harry and me could do that to you? We could bring out the real you, just like that?"
"It can't be both of you. I think the problem with the spell in the first place was that no matter how much I could account and adjust it to include a third person, a sacrificial spell is only meant to include two people. One person performing a completely pure and selfless act in order to save another. You and Harry would have to decide which one of you is going to bring me back. But I think it should be you. Whatever link I have with Harry it wouldn't be as strong as the one I have with you."
But no pressure, Ron thought to himself jokingly. But no matter what, he wouldn't let anything happen to her. "If we're already going to be using the sacrificial spell to keep You-Know-Who from controlling you, it's too bad we can't figure out a way to defeat him using it."
Something in Hermione's eyes lit up. No, it couldn't be that simple, she thought sitting up, could it?
"What?" Ron said, seeing her brow furrow like she was trying to work something out. She didn't answer him and jumped out of bed. "You think we can use the spell to kill him?" He asked as she quickly dressed.
"I don't know. I don't think so," she said distractedly. "But you gave me an idea."
Ron looked dumbfounded. "I gave you an idea?"
She gave him a quick kiss, saying, "I'll explain everything later," and then hurried out of the dorm.
Ron quickly dressed and followed after. Hermione only just beat him to the library.
Harry looked up when he heard the both of them coming, but instead of heading towards him, Hermione turned and headed down an aisle.
"What are you looking for?" Ron asked her as Harry joined them.
"I'm not sure…"
Harry raised an eyebrow at his friend, seeing Ron's tousled hair and mismatched buttons, not to mention their wrinkled clothes.
"Shut it, Harry," Ron warned.
Harry just smirked.
Hermione ignored them, grabbing a couple of books and walking to a table.
"Are you going to tell us what's going on?" Harry said.
"Not yet," Hermione said, not really paying attention. "I need to research a few things first."
Harry and Ron exchanged a look. They knew better than to get in Hermione's way when she got like this. They cleared out of the library to let her work, hoping that soon she would let them on what the big secret was.