Another chapter. Thank you for all your lovely reviews... I'm glad the last chapter went down okay. Hope this one will too. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

For the next few days my behaviour was distracted... from work, from friends... everything. I drifted through the days not truly taking in what was happening. And it was noticed. On more than one occasion I was told to wake up by my teachers, or had to be brought back into the real world by a sharp nudge from Richard or Meg.

"I worry about you," Richard said on more than one occasion, though from his smile I could tell he was only teasing. "You've been so day-dreamy."

'Day-dreamy' wasn't exactly how I would have chosen to describe my state of mind. I just found it so hard to concentrate on things when all my brain wanted to do was ask and try to figure out all those questions concerning a certain masked man named Erik. I worried... panicked almost, about what he was up to. I wasn't able to let go of the idea that he had some kind of ulterior motive to asking me to tell him my worries. Probably for some kind of emotional blackmail, I reasoned. He certainly seemed like the type to use that.

But for what purpose?

My spaced out behaviour did nothing for my workload. While I should have been studying and making notes I was actually pacing in the tiny space my room allowed, trying to piece things together. I was aware that if I didn't stop this behaviour I was in for an even rougher time than I had originally thought, but no matter what I did I couldn't get thoughts of Erik out of my head. Even his voice haunted me at every moment, including while I slept... that insufferably gentle and soothing voice. I was all too aware of how easy it would be to fall completely under whatever power he seemed determined to exercise over me. But I was determined not to give in like some simpering idiot and go begging for his advice and comfort. I wanted to handle things myself... I was a big girl after all.

But still... I needed a confidant. And as much as I loved talking to Meg and Richard (the latter in particular), there would always be something holding me back from opening up to them, or some stupid activity would get in the way.

"I know something that'll wake you up," said my music teacher briskly. I forced myself to pay attention as she drew a form out of her desk and handed it to me. "There's a very important concert coming up in a few weeks. It's held every year... for the school governors and the headmaster. Very important to the school."

I shook myself mentally and nodded in understanding. We used to have similar concerts at my last school, although I could already tell by the serious look on the teacher's face that this was far more important than anything I had performed in up until then. Looking down at the paper I held, there were quite a few names already signed up.

"It's up to you what you'd like to perform," she was saying. "Personally I think The Jewel Song would be most appropriate. Something to really show them what you've got."

"You want me to perform?" I asked stupidly.

She gave me a withering look. "Don't tell me you're going to get cold feet, Christine. You can't afford that... not with talent like yours."

I shook my head hurriedly. No, I had no qualms about performing on stage, although I'd be the first to admit that I got jittery beforehand. I was only human, after all. But once I was stood out there and the first note was sung I always felt perfectly at home.

"You do want to do this, don't you?" she asked, studying my face carefully for signs of doubt.

"Of course," I said as enthusiastically as I could manage, although my eyes strayed back down to the paper and noted with an inward wince that Charlotte had also put her name down. I didn't want to start getting competitive with her, but knew that she would probably take her hate campaign up a notch if she saw my name on the same list.

On the other hand... how could I possibly say no?

"That's great, Chris," Richard said when I told him the news later that day.

"They haven't even drawn up the program yet," I argued as we walked, making our way slowly in the direction of the girls' dorms. "I might not perform at all."

He laughed. "Come on... we both know they'd have to be crazy not to let you sing. And your teacher obviously wants you to."

Well, that was true. But she wasn't the one who decided what the line up was. She could only give a recommendation, which may or may not be good enough. I was determined, however, not to get my hopes up too much, in case of a disappointment.

Richard must have misread the look in my eyes as nervousness, because he put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a slight, affectionate squeeze.

"You'll be fine," he told me gently.

I smiled in return, but had to turn my head away quickly when I felt the colour rising in my cheeks. Suddenly his closeness was strangely unnerving. Not really in a bad way... I had just never been this close to a guy before. My dating history was practically non-existent. I could admit to having a few crushes in my time, but nothing serious and certainly never a proper relationship. And since this was Richard... my first ever crush, well... it was probably quite understandable that I was feeling a little shy.

We arrived at the door to the building, and I could feel Richard's reluctance to allow his arm to slip from my shoulders. It sent a little quiver through my insides, a feeling that was magnified when we turned to face each other. As I waited for him to say goodnight, he tilted his head to one side and gave me a long, critical look.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, his warm and gentle concern apparent in his voice and eyes.

I pretended to be exasperated by the question and rolled my eyes theatrically. "I'm fine," I said, laughing in spite of my words, which were far from being completely true. But he seemed reassured enough and gave me a wide grin. Then, to my surprise, he cast a quick look to each side of us, as if looking out for something. Curious, I tried to follow his gaze, and so was caught completely off guard when his lips touched my cheek. It was only the slightest of kisses... it lasted only a moment and then he was walking away, his lips pursed together as if he were trying to hide his embarrassment.

I stood there like a complete idiot for a few seconds, mouth slack and my heart beating in a quick tempo against my ribcage. Then I drew my thoughts back together again and turned back to the door, my now clumsy fingers having a difficult time punching in the correct door code. I was still in a daze when I got back to my room and sank down into my chair.

He'd kissed me. It might not have been a full-blooded kiss on the lips, but it was still a beginning. Did it really mean what I thought it did? That Richard actually wanted to be in a relationship with me? The idea was... was... it was enough to make me feel giddy and surprisingly care-free.

If only it could have lasted.

Within an hour I had descended into a panic that no romantic thoughts could erase. I had just resolved to get on with my work and leave my pleasant memories of Richard at the back of my mind, to be relished at a later hour when I made a less than agreeable discovery. My notes were gone... the history notes that I had spent the past week trying to finish were gone. The infuriating and worrying fact was that I had been working on them earlier and knew they had been right there on my desk before I had left the room. But I still found myself frantically searching in drawers, under the bed... any conceivable place they might be.

My phone began ringing and I answered it, in a voice that instantly betrayed my desperation.

"Hello!"

"Oh dear... it sounds like you're having more trouble."

Somehow, even the sound of Erik's voice didn't make me falter in my panic. Under any other circumstances I probably would have frozen up with nervousness. ButIt only heightened my exasperation at the world in general.

"Oh god, this is not a good time!"

"I can tell," he replied with a slight chuckle that I did not appreciate under the circumstances. "What's wrong?"

I probably would have answered the question no matter who asked it. At any rate I instantly launched into an overwrought explanation about my missing notes, getting more and more wound up at the futility of my search for them.

"You're certain you left them on your desk?"

"Yes!" I almost shouted, ready to go into hysterics.

"Well then... if you haven't moved them, it seems logical that someone else must have."

Now I stopped. I'd be lying if I said the possibility had not occurred to me, but I didn't like to think that someone would do something so petty as to steal my history notes... just in order to rattle my nerves. On the other hand it was the perfect way to do just that. Just about everyone knew how rushed I was with my work, even if I didn't allow the true extent of my panic to show.

"Can you think of anyone who would do something like that?" he asked reasonably.

Yes, I could. The name Charlotte jumped instantly into the forefront of my brain. I had to admit that she did seem the type. She wasn't really the in-your-face kind of bully. She was the back-stabbing, smooth-tongued and, apparently, quick-fingered type... one of those who were very careful about not getting caught out.

I sank into my chair, phone against one ear and my free hand pressed into my forehead.

"Charlotte... Charlotte Mason," I said, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"You think it was her?"

"Well, I can't think of anyone else," I muttered bitterly, and then cursed under my breath. I knew I was probably going to start crying at this rate, in spite of my best efforts to control myself.

Very gently he began to coax me to talk, asking me questions about Charlotte and why she might do something like that. And, to my surprise, I did talk, for a long time and in great detail. And not just about what she had been doing to me... the whispering and pointing, but the way it had made me feel. The way my confidence in myself had been dropping and how paranoid it was making me. Erik listened calmly to everything I related to him and, as much as hated to admit it, I began to feel much better having finally opened up to someone at last.

"It sounds like you're having quite a hard time settling in," he said sympathetically when I finally went quiet.

"It's not just settling in," I murmured softly as I twirled a strand of hair around my fingers. "It's everything... going to Rome and..." I trailed off, not sure whether I should risk going on.

"Yes, I understand," Erik replied. "It must be very difficult to uproot yourself in such a way."

I was quite taken aback by these words. I would never have expected him of all people to see my dilemma so clearly. Yet he seemed to understand to what I was feeling more than anyone else. Not that I thought others didn't understand me... but no one else seemed willing to talk about it. Even in the beginning, when my father had tried to be sympathetic about what would happen to my life as a result of our move to Rome... we always tiptoed carefully around the subject, wary of upsetting each other.

But as the night went on I found myself slowly and steadily confiding in Erik every little thing that was upsetting me, from my regret about not being able to talk to my father to the panic about how I would ever be able to cope with everything for the rest of the year. Even though a tiny part of my brain continued to scream at me 'What the hell are you doing?' the rest of me rallied on and on until I glanced at my watch.

"Oh god... I have to go." If I had any hope of getting these notes redone in time then I had to get started right away.

"Of course. What do you intend to do about your notes?"

"Well, I can't exactly go up to Charlotte and accuse her of stealing them," I said, although an image of me punching her in the face briefly presented itself in my mind. But that wasn't going to improve matters so I put the idea to one side. "I'll just have to redo them."

"Will you have time?" Erik asked.

I sucked in my breath between my teeth. "I don't know. I'll have to stay up late... but I think I'll manage."

There was a moment of contemplative silence at the other end of the phone before Erik responded. "Well then... good luck."

I couldn't help smiling, if a little uncertainly. It was like a boundary had been crossed. But I didn't feel so terrible about being on the other side of that boundary. In fact I felt better... better than I had felt in quite some time about the way things were.

"Thanks..." I said, almost involuntarily. It felt strange for me to be thanking this man. But while I knew he was to blame, at least in part, for my recent feelings of anxiety and depression... I couldn't deny that by coercing me to talk, he had lifted a very big weight off my shoulders. I owed him thanks for that at least. "I guess I really did just need to talk."

"You're welcome, my dear," he said softly, and my smile widened.

"Good night."

"Good night."

Erik hung up the line first, and I waited to hear the dial tone before pushing the 'end call' button on my mobile. The smile remained plastered on my face as I gave a big sigh and went to make myself some coffee. I was going to need lots of caffeine for the night ahead.