This isn't my first HP ff, but it is the first one I've posted online. Now, I know that it doesn't follow canon, but at the time it was written, it could've. I wrote this because I needed to get my own angsty feelings out. I don't generally like angsty stories, but this one was just begging to be written. Please feel free to let me know what you think. Criticism is welcome. Just please make it constructive. It does me no good to hear, "It sucked." Why! Give me a reason so I can improve. You can email me at Thanks and happy reading!
The Reason
D/Hr
I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do.
I bite my lip as I watch her sneak out to see me. Because of the names I'd called people, trying to get Hagrid fired, then that hippogriff killed, constantly trying to get her in trouble, and even trying to physically harm her and her friends, she had to sneak around all the time to see me. It makes me feel bad.
But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you.
But I didn't want people to know. So I was still a world class git in public. Sure, it cut when those big brown eyes landed on me in hurt. But she understood. She had to. And that's what makes what I'm planning so hard…
She found me at the edge of the forest, greeting me with a kiss.
"Sweetie, you should sit down." Those eyes; those trusting eyes…
And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know
"Hermione, I love you."
"I love you too, Draco."
I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be.
I swallow. "Mione, you deserve someone who is willing to hold your hand in the middle of the Great Hall."
And the reason is you.
"Someone who can be around your friends without fighting."
I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's something I must live with every day. And all the pain I put you through.
"I can't be that person right now." I watch as those gorgeous eyes fill with tears. Once again, because of me.
And be the one who catches all your tears. That's why I need you to hear,
"Mione, I want to be that guy. And I'm going to try. But I can't be with you while I do."
I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new.
"I'm leaving my father's home. I don't want to be a Death Eater. I'm working with Dumbledore now."
And the reason is you.
"You did that Hermione. You showed me that I could be different."
The tears were just streaming down her face silently. She was looking down at her feet.
I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to do those things to you. So I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know,
"I'm sorry Mione. For all those horrible things I did to you."
I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new.
"I'm going to make myself a better person. No Death Eaters, Voldemort, or Lucius telling me what to do, or who to be."
And the reason is you.
"Because of you. For you."
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know. A reason for all that I do.
"You deserve someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. Someone who isn't afraid to love you."
At those words, a strangled sob escapes her lips, and she takes off running back to the castle.
"And maybe I can be that person someday," I whisper to myself, my heart breaking as I watch her running.
And the reason is you.