Chapter 19: The Healing Process

Harry awoke in St. Mungo's, feeling groggy and stiff. He opened his eyes to see Ginny curled up in a small sofa in the corner, near his bed. A quilt was draped over her body, and she was looking pale.

He stared up at the ceiling, his mind reviewing everything he had seen: All those he had killed, when he stabbed Lord Voldemort, the burning pile of Aurors and Elves, all those fighting for their lives…

Ginny stirred in her sleep, and mumbled something incoherent. Harry was feeling horrible. He, Harry, had committed murder!

"Harry?" Came Ginny's hoarse voice.

Harry turned his head slightly, and their eyes locked. Ginny sprang to her feet, and hurried over to him. She pulled a chair near his bedside, and sighed, tears in her eyes.

"Oh god, look at you! I was so worried about you… you could have died!" She exclaimed.

Harry said nothing, but stared at her. Tears slowly dropped onto her cheeks, and she ran her fingers through his hair, gently brushing it to the side, and revealing the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. She traced it with her finger, sending a rather pleasant chill down his spine.

"Gin, I'm sorry," Harry said quietly, his gaze never leaving her face.

Ginny shook her head, and took his hand into her own. "No, don't be! You! You might have nearly killed me with worry but… but you've saved us all! It's all over…"

Harry's expression went hard and anger flooded his features.

"Harry, don't you dare punish yourself for this" She scolded him, moving to lay next to him on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck.

"But I killed every single one of them! I'm not better than Voldemort."

Ginny's breathing was quick and shallow, as she drew back to look him in the eyes. "Harry, please don't say that! They deserved to die! Every last one of them! They would have seen you die, so don't be beating yourself up for them dying now instead of later…"

Harry voiced something he had been keeping to himself for years. "I'm a murderer."

Ginny's eyes widened, and the tears fell more quickly. "Please don't say that! You're not a killer! You've never been one!"

"But I've killed-"

"No!" Ginny sobbed. "No! Stop it! Don't let yourself belief it! Harry I know how you're feeling, but you can't let it control you!"

Harry looked away, wanting to be alone right now. Ginny bit her lip in frustration. "Harry, if I thought you were the murderer you think you are, then I might as well have married Lord Voldemort. You've got your well-deserved revenge on the person who ruined your life!"

Harry slowly turned his head to look at her again. He hated to see her upset, but the little voice in his head was telling him he was a cold-hearted murderer.

"You don't deserve me, Gin… you deserve better" Harry told her grimly.

Ginny looked heartbroken at these words. "How can you say that!" She whispered.

"Please… just go. Don't let me do anymore harm to you or your family…"

Ginny didn't move. "Harry Potter, I cannot believe you! I love you with all my heart! You're not a murderer! I want to be with you, and if anyone doesn't deserve somebody, it's me not deserving you! You're ten times the wizard I am! You're wealthy, you're gorgeous, you're funny, you're sexy, you're kind, you're trustworthy… you're everything a girl looks for in a man!"

Harry didn't reply to this. She was crying so hard now Harry was surprised she could still speak.

"Just go," Harry repeated firmly, the surging feeling of energy rushing through his veins was returning.

"No!" Ginny retorted. "You're my husband! I have the right to be at your side! I married the Harry who had faith, who loved me. Where is he!"

"Ginny, please, you-"

"Fine!" Ginny screeched. "I'll go, you stupid ass hole, I'll go! But when the Harry I know and love resurfaces, I'll be there for him!"

She got to her feet, so hurt she wanted to scream in fury. She grabbed her coat and disapparated, leaving Harry very much alone in his room.

Harry had no more visitors until later than evening, when Kyra came in, her arm bandaged. She wore long dark pants with a white shirt. Her long hair was brushed and soft, her dark eyes narrowed at him.

"What do you want?" Harry asked rudely, staring at her.

Kyra did not look surprised or startled by his mood. She took Ginny's old seat and watched him with an expression of mild interest.

"I must speak with you," She said simply.

Harry said nothing, so she continued.

"You have done my city a great deed; the world a great deed. You have rid us of a man so evil that hell wouldn't be good enough to hold him. For this, I have many thanks."

"Harry, I do not think you understand what happened on the plains two days ago." Kyra began. "The pendent I gave you, as I've told you, is enchanted. You're anger and loathing for the dark lord activated its powers. When the wish to have every single Death Eater dead crossed your mind, perhaps sub-consciously, the powers you had activated were released. You were given the Elven words for a curse, and used it. Though it was not powerful enough to destroy the dark lord himself, you managed to kill every single one of his followers…"

"The power that was placed into your hands was more than you could handle, and it has taken control of your soul. This, is my fault. The pendant's power is to great for you, for it is meant for an elf. I cannot do anything to pull the overflowing power from you… only you can. You must let the power go and accept what you have done. Only you can help yourself"

"And if I don't?" Harry asked quietly. "I don't feel any different!"

"Unfortunately, unless you truly wish to become as evil and as cold-blooded as the man that you were destined to kill, you need to release the Elven magic."

Harry's eyes shifted to the ceiling, as he took it all in. "So you're telling me, unless I get rid of the pendant's extra power I will be doomed to become the next dark lord?" He asked dully.

Kyra nodded. "Your wife loves you, Harry. She desperately wants the man she fell for years ago, back. You must do this for her… you do not want to lose her, Harry. She means too much to you to lose her…"

Harry nodded, and Kyra stood. "Forgive me. My city is in ruins… we have much work to do. I will be in touch with you soon… If you succeed, I will have the pendent returned to me"

With that, she left the room, leaving him to think.

Over the next few days, he stayed in St. Mungo's alone; nobody was allowed in after Kyra. At one point, he actually had considered ignoring Kyra. But on the fifth day of being inside St. Mungo's, he was sent a package from Ginny.

He opened it, wondering what on earth she had sent him. He ripped away the paper, and found a photo album, full of pictures of her and him, and pictures of Hope.

He flipped through the photos slowly, and looked through the album twice. Finally, he shut the book, tears behind his eyes. Three words slipped from his mouth, the first words since he had spoken with Kyra.

"I'm sorry, Ginny" He whispered.

His body went rigid and a draining feeling consumed him. His heart beat rapidly against his chest. Minutes later, it passed, and he lay on his bed, breathing heavily.

He picked up the photo album that had fallen to the floor and a picture fell out. It was one of him and Ginny. She was sitting in his lap, arms around him lovingly. The Harry in the picture was kissing Ginny every so often, a smile on his face.

He swallowed, and pushed back the covers. He took the pendent off his neck and stared at it in his palm. It was warm in his clutch. Words flowed into his mind and he did as they told him what to do.

As crazy as it sounded, he did what he was told and found a small knife in the cabinet and cut his palm open, a long, thin slit. He then clutched the pendent tightly, then opened his hand, letting drop to the floor.

It chinked as it hit the ground, shining with his blood. There was a rushing sound, and then the pendent vanished in a puff of purple smoke. His palm stung, but he did not heal it.

He stood, grabbed his cleaned robes, and changed. With a renewed, exhilarating feeling, he disapparated.