You've all been very patient with me on this latest chapter. Thanks for that. I certainly hope it's worth the wait. I feel very sad... only the epilogue to go now. It'll be weird not having to write this fic anymore.

Chapter 28

We ran, the cold branches of trees and bushes swiping at our faces as we plunged through, trying to reach the edge of the woods. I had the horrible sensation that I was being punished for running, and I sobbed dryly as Richard half carried me out of the woods and towards the school. I wasn't sure why I wasn't fighting this. I felt numb… from shock at what Richard had just done… disbelief that Erik and I had finally begun to reconcile…

Erik… oh god. Just when things had seemed on the verge of being fully mended between us, he had been knocked down, and now I was running. And I was suddenly filled with shame at what I was doing. Was he alright? Was he even alive? How could I leave him out there?

When we were within a hundred yards of the school my body finally listened to what my desperate brain was telling it to do. Richard stopped, surprised, when I pulled myself violently out of his grip and made a move to turn around and head back to the woods. At first he tried to grab my arms, forcing me to go further on in the direction of theschool, but I stubbornly resisted.

"Christine, come on," he said desperately, tugging at my sleeves like a child. "Come on… we've got to get back!"

"No," I said, my throat feeling dry and hoarse from my sobbing and the harsh, cold air. "No… Richard… I can't…"

"Yes you can," he insisted, still trying to pull me away. I kept my eyes fixed on the woods, unable to keep the image of Erik's fallen body out of my mind. Richard continued to try and convince me, and I only half listened. "Come on… we'll get back and we'll call the police. You'll be safe, I promise… we've just got to get back."

"Richard, no… I can't leave him…"

With this, my arms were seized, and Richard turned me round to look at him. I didn't fail to notice the red mark around his neck from the rope, and I actually sobbed at seeing it. But it did nothing to break my resolve. My conscience would not allow me to willingly leave Erik in that woods, alone, with whatever injury he might have.

"Christine… you can't go back. Do you even realise what just happened? He was going to kill me!"

Yes, I realised it… and it wasn't that I didn't care about that. But Richard was safe now, and I was sure Erik would not hurt him… could not hurt him.

Desperately, I tried to explain. "I know… but I can't just leave him…"

"Yes you can. Please, Christine… leave it… we can forget about this whole thing now."

I shook my head. "No, I won't forget it. I'll never forgive myself if I leave him… and I'm not going to the police."

"Are you crazy?" he shouted, unable to believe what I was saying. I supposed, to him, it must have seemed that way. But he didn't understand… he didn't feel what I felt inside. Maybe it was insane for me to care about Erik, especially after everything he had put me through. But I was far beyond listening to reason. Every part of me was screaming to go back, and I couldn't ignore it, even asRichard tried to reason with me. "Listen… I know you'll feel bad about turning him in… but we have to. He's dangerous, you can see that, can't you?"

"It's not just that," I said, shaking my head, and once more pulling back and away from him. "I want to go back… not just because I don't want to feel guilty about it. I have to go back…" I took a deep shuddering breath,"and I want to."

That silenced Richard, and in spite of myself, I felt the surge of guilt as I saw the pain I had caused him. Apologies failed me as I stared at him, imploring him to just let me go… to understand. Suddenly, without thinking, I put my arms aroundhim and held tightly onto this young man, who truly did mean a great deal to me. I wasn't sobbing anymore, but I did feel an incredible sadness in my heart at what I must do to my most precious childhood friend.

"I don't want you to go back to him," Richard said, his arms suddenly holding me in a grip that was almost painful. But his voice was full of tears, and I held him back just as tightly.

"I know," I whispered gently. "I'm so sorry…"

There was a pause before he next spoke. "So it is true, isn't it. You are…" He trailed off, but I knew exactly what he meant to ask. It touched me that, even after what had just happened, he had still hoped that it had all been a lie. He still wanted to believe in me and that I hadn't done such a thing.

I didn't lie. In a way, I suppose, I wanted him to hate me for it. It might have made things easier. Especially for him. "Yeah, it's true. I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for you to find out that way. I only found out about it tonight."

"Did he…"

"No," I said firmly, pulling away and cutting off his train of thought with a look. "No… it was an accident. Neither of us meant for it to happen."

He nodded, but I could still see that imploring look in his eyes… the uncertainty of whether to let me go or forcibly take me back. It was good to think that he at least had my best interests at heart, he was just uncertain of in which direction they lay.

Finally he shook his head. "No… I can't let you do this…"

"Richard… please you have to."

"No! Why should I do anything to help him?" he snapped, suddenly angry and bitter. "He was going to kill me. I was going to take the blame for what he did! Why the hell would I let you go back to him?"

"Because he's changed," I replied simply.

Richard scoffed. "What, just like that? One second he's evil incarnate and then BAM he's the innocent victim?"

"That's not what I meant," I told him, refusing to rise up against this angry bitterness. For some reason now I felt like a mother responding to a child's tantrum… that calm benevolence that loved in spite of every obstacle. "I know I can help him."

"I won't let you do this!"

I gripped his arms now, shaking him just a little, as if trying to wake him up from a dream. "You have to let me do this. Because…. I'll never forgive you if you don't."

He seemed shocked by this statement, but it was undeniably true, even if saying it aloud had been a little harsh. But, just like I would never forgive myself if I didn't go back, I knew I would not forgive Richard if he stopped me. It was as simple as that, and no amount of reasoning would change it. But, as I saw his devastated expression, I relented a little and added, gently:

"I would never have forgiven Erik if he'd killed you."

Again, Richard looked at me, thinking over this statement, unsure this time of whether to believe it. Managing to smile, I reached up and placed one hand on the side of his face. "I know you might not believe me, but… I do love you. I really do. It's just…" I couldn't find a way to explain it, and maybe there was no way to… so I gave a tiny, helpless shrug, as if to say the matter was out of my control, which was true in a way. No one controlled who they fell in love with... and I couldn't control the fact that my need to go back to Erik was stronger than what I felt for Richard. There was nothing for me to do but face up to it.

I think he understood, or if he didn't he, like me, resigned to accept it, however unwilling. Slowly he nodded, before saying, in a cheerless tone, "I'm never going to see you again, am I?" His voice cracked as he finished the question.

Even though I thought this was a strong possibility, I could only shrug. After all, you never know. Maybe, one day, I'd see him again, but it would never be the same. We'd never have that innocent friendship we'd had as children, no matter how much I might long for it. And any meeting in the future would no doubt be tainted by the memories of what had happened here. So… perhaps it was better that way. I didn't want to ruin my pleasanter memories of Richard any further.

Very softly, I kissed his cheek, and then turned to go. But I hadn't got more than a few paces away when he called out my name, and I turned back.

"What am I going to tell them?" he asked. "They'll ask about you… the police… and Meg… and everyone else."

Right then, I was fully prepared to tell him that I didn't care in the least about what he told anyone… my thoughts were too engrossed with Erik and going back to help him. But I paused, thinking quietly…

"I don't know," I said finally. "Just… tell Meg I love her and I'll contact her when I can."

"And the police?"

"I don't really care anymore," I said, with a small laugh. "Just tell them you don't know where I am…it'll be true enough."

Even Richard managed a small, but sad, smile. This was it… and even though I wanted to go to Erik, it was incredibly hard to say goodbye. It felt like I was saying goodbye not just to Richard but to my entire life, as I had once known it. It might be difficult, but I was still prepared to do it.

"Bye."

"Bye."

And with only a final look over my shoulder at the figure of Richard, I turned and began to run back in the direction we had just come, moving as fast as I could and not even pausing as I plunged headlong into the woods. I only slowed down a little further in, since I was afraid of walking past the place Erik had been and missing him.

As I walked, I suddenly began to wonder… what would happen when I found Erik? Not just wondering about where we would go, but what my disappearance would do to my family. I would have to make sure to contact them so they knew I was alright. And school… and my future… what would happen there? It occurred to me, only now, that I was giving up a lot to do this. The police would probably take it as a sign of guilt that I had run off for one thing… not to mention school and…

I shook my head. For better or worse… I had to do this.

"Erik?" I called out his name quietly, picking my way carefully through the undergrowth. I hoped he had not moved away, or worse that he was now angrier than before. Could Richard's actions have undone everything I had managed to achieve tonight? God, I hoped not.

I was beginning to panic. Where was he? Why wouldn't he answer me? Was he dead? Almost frantic with worry I began to wonder aimlessly back and forth, not caring which direction I went in anymore, almost screaming Erik's name as I searched. My panic grew into hysteria until my heart was pounding in my mouth and I was ready to drop down from exhaustion.

I turned… and my breath caught in my throat. I could see a light… a beam of bright light. At first I thought Richard had called the police and they had come out looking for me and Erik, until I realised the light was lying on the ground, and wasn't moving around as though being held by someone. It was the torch Erik had dropped! Quickly I ran in its direction, and fumbled with it before turning it in every direction, desperately searching.

"Erik?"

Finally, in the beam of the torch, I saw a long, thin pile of black material. I didn't need to think twice about what it was. Within seconds I was kneeling beside Erik's body, trying worriedly to turn him onto his back. When I finally got his head to rest in my lap, I moaned as I saw the blood plastered against the side of his face. A part of me seethed with anger at Richard for doing this, but I reasoned that he had only done it because he wanted to help me, in the panic of trying to escape.

But Erik…

Biting my lip, I reached one hand down, and placed it against his chest, praying for the sensation of a heartbeat under my palm. For a few, horrifying seconds, I thought there was none, until a little flutter moved. My own heart leapt with relief and I gripped the black material of his coat, willing him to wake up.

"Erik?"

It was a few, agonising minutes before there was even the slightest reaction. Finally there was a slight murmur, and he moved just a little, although I could tell how much he was hurting. So, as calmly as I could, I hushed him, and said quietly that he should lie still until he felt strong enough. He winced when I touched the side of his head, and so did I when my fingers came away coated in blood.

"Christine?" he whispered, as though he couldn't believe I was actually there.

"Yeah… it's me," I said, taking his long, thin hand in mine. He opened his eyes and looked at me, upside down. Looking down at him… seeing him so helpless… I suddenly began to cry quietly, my tears dripping down onto Erik's face.

"Christine…" he said again, as if my name was all he could speak now. I was too caught up in my sobs to reply, so I only squeezed his hand tightly to reassure him. When he squeezed it back, I managed to smile, until he reached up and touched my face, feeling the shape of it. He was making certain I was real, and not just a figment of his imagination.

"You're really here?" he asked after a pause. "I thought… you'd gone… with that boy."

Sniffing loudly, wiping my nose on the back of my sleeve, I shook my head. "I came back… I couldn't leave you like this."

He stared up at me, and once again that look of deep suspicion crossed his face. I just stared back… unable to think of what else to say. I felt as though I had run out of words after everything that had been said tonight, and the thought that Erik might still not believe me now… not that I would blame him. I had run, initially… but only out of numb disbelief and because I hadn't the strength to protest. But I was back now… didn't that prove something to him?

"Ah…" Erik was trying to sit up now. He was obviously in pain, but no amount of protests on my part could stop him, so I did my best to support him, only to receive distrustful looks once again. "I have to get away…" he said weakly. "If that boy calls…"

I nodded, understanding. I wasn't sure if Richard would have called the police instantly and sent them over here. I wanted to think he hadn't… that maybe he would at least give us time to get away. But it wasn't a risk I was prepared to take and so, I carefully took Erik's arm, helping him as he struggled to his feet, unsteady and near collapse. I put his arm around my shoulders, forcing him to put at least some of his weight onto me.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his confusion plain and edged with that familiar bitterness. He sounded so tired, both physically and emotionally. As if he were on the verge of giving up. But I wasn't about to let him do such a thing.

"I'm helping you," I said simply. "Which way are we going?"

"'We'," he echoed, like someone who, lost in a dream, was afraid to wake up and have the illusion shatter. I half wondered if he still believed he was dreaming all this… or hallucinating. Either way, he made a brief, somnolent gesture with his arm. "That way…"

I began to stumble in that direction. Our progress was slow and awkward… I was not very strong and Erik was very tall compared to me, but I was determined to get him somewhere safe. Inside my clothes hot sweat clung to my body, but I didn't stop for rest, urging him onwards as best I could.

"Why… are you… doing this?" he asked. He was breathing in short, sharp gasps, as was I, although he was also fighting to stay conscious at this point.

"I had to come back," I gasped quickly, hoping that conversation would at least help to keep him awake and moving.

"Couldn't have me… on your conscience… I suppose."

I winced, and in spite of myself, a little sob escaped my throat. Did he realise how awful it was for me to hear him say these things? It just made me realise that our reconciliation was far from complete. Erik still seemed only half convinced that I didn't hate him… let alone that I might care for him. It was hurtful to think that he believed I was only doing this so I wouldn't have a guilty conscience.

"That's not why I'm doing this," I told him breathlessly.

"Then why?" he asked again.

"Because I don't want you to die," I snapped more harshly than I had intended. But saying this out loud was, to me, like issuing a death sentence upon Erik, and I began crying again at the thought of him dying out here, and me being helpless to prevent it.

"It's what I… deserve," Erik said, with more than a hint of acrimony. "I'm surprised you don't… think so…"

Again, the feeling of anger rose up inside me at the combined assumption and accusation. Following quickly was that feeling of misery and the realisation that Richard's 'heroic' actions had only succeeded in ruining things. But I hastened to correct Erik, refusing to give in.

"I never wanted you to die, Erik," I said truthfully. There was a pause, one that begged to be filled, and finally I added: "I never even thought about wanting you to die. I didn't realise what Richard was going to do… if I had…"

"Oh… I'm sure… you would have warned me," Erik retorted, his weak voice still overloaded with sarcasm.

"Yes, I would have," I replied firmly. "I don't want you to die," I repeated again.

"Perhaps you should let me," he went on in a dreamy voice that scared me. "After everything I've done… I think it might be… a relief… for everyone…"

Determined not to give in to the same bitterness, I shook my head. "If you keep talking like that I'll whack you over the head with a branch next." I was amazed but, in spite of the situation this truly weak attempt at humour actually helped. I heard the slightest of chuckles from Erik and a smile broke out on my own face, painful but still real and my heart soared as I realised that maybe this hadn't been all for nothing. My steps became stronger as I was spurred on by this thought, but I didn't kid myself that Erik would be able to keep this up for much longer. Maybe he had a concussion… I didn't know, I was no doctor. But that wound had looked serious, and it occurred to me how stupid it was to move someone with such a potentially serious injury. Not that we had any other choice.

We reached the edge of the woods, on the opposite side to where the school was, and I noticed a dirt track, probably used by farmers for tractors or Land Rovers maybe. On it was parked a small black car, and I leaned Erik against it as he gestured for me to get the keys out of his coat pocket. But when I tried to help him into the passenger seat, he resisted.

"You can't drive like this," I insisted.

He stared at me, his twisted, blood-smeared face expressing the deepest confusion. "Christine… you can't…"

"Yes I can," I told him firmly. "Maybe not legally yet," I added with a small laugh. "We'll just have to hope no one stops us for a little while."

I was about to go around to the drivers side when he seized my arm, nearly losing his balance as his supporting grip on the car door was lost. I stared up at him, and he stared back, disbelieve written on his face and, deep in his eyes, a strange conflict that I couldn't quite understand. Waiting for him to speak, I kept my expression soft and earnest, hoping to dispel whatever doubts he might still be having.

"You can't be serious," he murmured, again in that far-off voice.

"I am serious," I told him as steadily and suddenly I felt more certain and sure of myself than I had done in ages. Resolute… I gazed up at Erik, letting him see my determination in every aspect, and once again I saw his disbelief waver… then crumble completely as the reality began to take hold. It was a relief, in a way, to see him break like this… but also painful. I understood how it must go against everything he had believed ever since he was a child… to accept a reality such as this. Possibly, until he had met me, the idea of something like this happening had never entered his mind, except perhaps in some distant fantasy.

Well, that fantasy was a reality now…and I was determined to make him see it. Once again I began to urge him into the passenger seat…

"No."

Exasperated, I was fully prepared to try and manhandle him into the car at this point. "Erik, come on, we – "

"You're not coming with me."

Quite possibly nothing he could have said would have shocked me more than those words. He spoke them in a way that indicated that there was no argument… he had made up his mind. But those words left me hurt and confused. Didn't he want me to go with him? How did he expect me to let him go on his own when he could barely stand without assistance?

"No, I am…" I began, but he cut me off.

"I won't let you," he said and as I looked at him I saw the sincerity, the look of love in his eyes that I had almost thought I would never see again. But it was different this time. It wasn't that dark, possessive love he had shown me up until that moment. This was unconditional… unselfish. Now he was thinking only of me… and he wanted to send me back.

"You deserve to have your life…" he said, reaching up to stroke my cheek gently with his fingers. "You… you were right about everything. I should never have…" He paused and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Go back… go and live the life you were meant to."

I was torn. I wanted to scream, cry… a tiny part of me even considered doing as Erik said, leaving him and going back to my old life. But I stamped on this thought and killed it. Yes, I could go back… I could go back, maybe have an abortion to save myself from getting kicked out of school… move on and hopefully achieve the career I had dreamed of. There was only one problem. I didn't want to go back. It had been different before… when Erik had kept me his prisoner… when he had threatened to kill people to keep me with him… when he had intended to carry me off by force. The difference was that this time, it was my choice. My own free choice.

"No," I said, in a firm voice that didn't really seem like my own at all. Like Erik's voice before, it left no room for argument… it would not even listen to any protests. It knew what it wanted. "I'm coming with you."

"Christine… you don't have to…"

I silenced him with a hand over his mouth. "I know I don't. But I want to. I want to go with you."

"Listen to me…" he said, gripping my hand urgently.

"No! You listen!" I shouted, cutting him off and snatching my hand away angrily. "I've had to deal with people telling me what to do all my life. Well, I'm sick of it. I told you that before… you know how much I hate it. And you know what you said? You said I should think about what I want for a change. And I am… and what I want is to go with you."

But Erik was shaking his head again. "But what you said before… your future… you want that too…"

Flippantly I waved my hands at this reminder, dismissing it. "I know… I know I said that. And maybe I do want that stuff… but it's not what's most important to me, not anymore."

My words were shocking, almost as much to me as they were to Erik. I was saying things that, up until now, I hadn't realised I felt. But the moment the words were out of my mouth I knew they were true. And hey… maybe there was some way for me to have it all… to be with Erik and have my dream career. But now it was a matter of which was most important, and the answer was plain as sunlight to me.

"When we were together… I know I was happy. And maybe it was because I didn't realise how angry you could be sometimes… but I was still happy. And… I think we can have that again. I really do. I understand you so much more now, after the past few days… and I know we can work things out. I want us to work things out."

Erik was still unable to speak. Maybe he was too shocked. But I could see the tears that were coursing down his cheeks. My words were getting through to him now, finally, and it only made me all the more determined.

"Please..." I said, almost begging him now, taking the few steps towards him. "I want to love you again, Erik."

And with that, I balanced myself on the balls of my feet and kissed him, very, very softly on the mouth. It was only the smallest of kisses, nothing like some of the others we had shared in our time together. But it was the first real kiss since that day… the first without any lies, secrets or fears attached, and that seemed to make it far more powerful than anything else I had ever experienced.

When I drew away from him, his eyes were closed, and he was shaking all over with emotion. Once again I found myself wishing I could tell what he was thinking, but all I could do was wait for him to gather himself together enough to speak. And when he did, I was once again overcome by the beauty in his voice, and the strange, new child-like quality it possessed… like a boy looking for his way home.

"Is this really what you want?" he asked in a breathless whisper.

I nodded and, as if to further enforce my decision, I kissed him again, deeper this time. And, to my delight, he, nervously at first but with growing confidence, returned the kiss, until I was wrapped up in his arms so tightly it was hard to breath. But I relished the feeling, and the surge of security that it brought me. God, I had missed that feeling… and this was only the beginning of its revival. Somehow, I sensed deep down that it would only grow stronger as we went along.

As I helped Erik into the car, and then moved around to the drivers seat, I could feel his gaze, as I was always able to. There was still disbelief… and I wondered how long it might take him to realise that this was real. Smiling, I shook my head. No matter what he thought… I trusted in my decision and, as I drove off into the darkness, feeling Erik take my left hand and weave his long, cold fingers in mine, I told him that everything would be okay.

"Do you promise?" he asked softly.

"I promise".

I wasn't exactly sure how to round this chapter off. It was tricky... so I decided to use a theme that's kind of been present from the beginning (if you remember, Erik doesn't like promises... kind of like in the original book, hehe). I hope it works okay. And for anyone who's wondering how things turn out afterwards... the epilogue is coming, and that will hopefully tie up the loose ends. See you next time!