Innocence Lost and Gained

Disclaimer - I own nothing but the plot

Chapter 5 - The Things that Haunt Us

Hermione's eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she felt Draco next to her. This was nice but she knew it shouldn't be. She looked at her clock and it read 7:35. Breakfast was in about an hour and a half. She was going to wake Draco up in half an hour when she saw how tired he looked. Her curiosity was overwhelming.

Why had he come to her?

What had caused him to come to her?

Why didn't he go to Pansy?

These questions would bother her for a while but she knew that if she pressed him to hard on the subject he would block himself off from her completely. She didn't want that for selfish reasons and that he might not be able to get over what ever it was that was bothering him.

Hermione went out to the common room to grab her wand. She went to the table where she left it and realized it was gone.

"Damn." She swore. George and Fred's little plan didn't work. After everyone's wands were taken the other day George and Fred had snuck into Dumbledore's office to grab Harry, Ron, and Hermione's wands along with their own.
One of the house elves must have gotten a hold of it while cleaning or something. Hermione wasn't worried the house elves liked her, they probably wouldn't tell Dumbledore about it.

Hermione ran her hand through her hair before going to the bathroom to brush her teeth and to drag a brush through that knotty hair of hers. By the time she was done she realized she should wake up Draco. She was hoping he would wake up on his own because she realized it was kind of awkward having to wake him from her bed.

She went back into her room and looked at him. He looked so peaceful, all of life's worries disappear when you sleep and she figured it must be a vacation for him. She wondered what he must be dreaming about.

She walked over to him and sat on the bed. Placing a hand on his shoulder she gently shook him.

"Draco."

Nothing.

"Draco." She repeated herself . After a few seconds she felt him move under her hand. His eye opened and he was a bit taken back to see her face but then realized what had happened.

"Breakfast is in about an hour. I thought I should wake you." He smiled.

"Thank you." He said genuinely.

"Anytime." She said with a smile before shooing him out of the room so she could get dressed.

Hermione didn't bother seeing if Draco had left before went down to breakfast. She had to talk to Ron and Harry, she realized that she hadn't been spending much time with them and she didn't want them to feel like she was abandoning them for her new friend. They still weren't happy with the fact she was friends with the Queen of Slytheryn and that her friend was dating Draco Malfoy.

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table facing the Slytheryn table, if the position of her sitting was on purpose she wouldn't have admitted it.

She smiled as Harry and Ron sat down. Ron have a smug look on his face.

Harry and Hermione started to chat about the upcoming Quidditch game and Ron basically kept quiet which diffidently wasn't normal.

"What's your problem?" Asked Hermione as Ron threw her a not very pleasant look.

"I'm just surprised that little miss popular has had time to talk with us lower specimens."

"First of all I haven't been ignoring you I've been hanging with Ginny and Pansy and many of those time you two had been invited. Did I stop you from coming? No. So If any one wants to complain about time not being spent it is ME! and 2nd of all when did you learn the word specimen?"

"We would have came if a certain Draco Malfoy wasn't there. Do you suddenly like him enough to spend your time with him?"

Hermione's stomach dropped.

"I can't control the friends or partners a friend of mine has. I cannot control Pansy's relationships." Secretly though she wished she could. "I bet she doesn't have the highest liking for you two but she is still kind enough to invite you because she knows you two are my friends. So if you two want to be so childish to not spend time with me because of who I am friends with then you two can just... fuck off!" Luckily the conversation wasn't loud enough for anyone else to hear but them.

Hermione just sat there. Harry spoke up. "You're right. We'll try to make an effort... well I will. I can't say as much for Ron."

As if the timing was planned Pansy came up. "Hey Herm."

"I hate being called Herm."

"Well I hate being called Pans but that never stops you." She said with a cheerful smile.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to come hang out today before classes start tomarow." Pansy then looked at Ron and Harry. "You two can come if you want."

Hermione didn't want to be in the same room with Draco if Pansy was going to be there. It was immature and selfish but it was true.

"Sorry, I still have some homework to get done." Pansy pouted.

"Ok. I'm going to see If Ginny or Draco wants to come. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." She called as Pansy walked away. She then turned to Harry and Ron.

"I'm leaving. I'll talk to you two later."

With that said she got up and left.

Hermione sat in the her and Draco's common room. She figured he would be off with Pansy doing things that she would rather not think about.
She grabbed one of her favorite books from her room and lit a fire. She wanted to just relax tonight.

The moment she was all realized and comfortable the door opened and Draco appeared. She figured he would have gone with Pansy after dinner.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be with Pansy?" There was a hint of jealousy in her voice but Draco didn't want to tease her about it now. Especially after her hospitality last night.

"I told her I had homework to do."

"You're saying that as if you lied." Hermione said sitting up and putting the book on the table beside her.

"I did."

"Why?"

Draco walked over to her and sat down. "We need to talk, Granger."

"Is it just me or have we been having a lot of talks?"

"It's not just you." He said with a smile. " I think we need to talk about last night."

"What about last night, Malfoy?" Hermione asked losing eye contact with him.

"Me coming to you. I want to explain myself." Hermione quieted giving him silent permission to continue on.

"Well, you know my father. He wants me to serve Voldemort the moment I graduate from hog warts and I just can't. I'm not going to and I think he knows this. My mom won't pressure him to make me if I don't want to. I just have to get up the courage to tell him. The reason I came to you is because of this guilt I have for not obeying my father is just eating away at me."

Draco's head was lowered as if he was ashamed. Hermione took her fingers and lifted is head encouraging him to continue.

"Sometimes at night I just keep thinking about it and then I have these dreams. These awful dreams." Hermione was shocked that he as opening up to her but he had to open up to someone. "In the dreams there are these people. These people are being killed and tortured and I can't stand it. Sometimes I just need another warm body next to me to ground me to reality. That's why I came to you."

"What about Pansy? Why can't you go to her?"

"I don't want her to think less of me."

"She wouldn't do that. You know that."

"I don't want her to know about that part of my life."

Hermione nodded understanding.

Draco stood up and cleared his throat. "Well I'm going to go to the library and take a look at a book I saw earlier." Hermione nodded and stood up going to her room. She tripped on the leg of a side table and she quickly started falling to the ground till two strong, muscular arms grabbed her and stood her back up. Hermione like Draco earlier cleared her throat.

"Uh... thanks."

"Anytime, Granger."

Hermione laid in bed when she heard the door opened. She felt Draco get in the bed.

"Goodnight, Malfoy."

"Night, Granger."

Authors note - I know short chapters but that my major flaw. Short chapters. I used to read a lot and I hated chapters that were have just fillers, it makes you not really want to read it so everything in my chapters tends to have a point.

curlyq2713 - don't worry he will
kellie - going as fast as I can. lol
Elmo - its good to be god. lol
LiLiL - glad you like it

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