A review from Cheyanne, who set me the Haloween Challenge said that her friend, when she read this, started squealing about Cheyanne being the bushy haired girl with Severus Snape tied to her bed… well, as much as we all wish that were true, I'm afraid it isn't. So this one is dedicated to Cheyanne's friend with the message: Dream on (I sure will be!)

WARNING: References to slashy old bokes having sex, slashy underage blokes having sex and naughty girls having sex with professors.

Disclaimer and Summary in Chapter One.

Happy Halloween, My Dear Marauder.

Chapter Two, Happy Halloween, My Dear Professor.

It was when Sirius and Remus entered the next round of the sex competitions with Harry and Charlie that she decided she really, really was the only one...

The only one left at the edges of the dancefloor when everyone else was dancing for their lives; the only one who slept the night away rather than partied; the only one who bought handcuffs, not to play with a willing partner, but to hold together the bags with her books in because she couldn't do magic and was left to desperate means.

Not this time, though. Sure, the party was pretty much over; Molly and Arthur had retreated to their room when sense struck and she remembered that she was, in fact, pregnant. She had, of course, shepherded her younger children to bed, leaving only Bill to play, as Charlie was in bed with Harry at this moment. She'd spotted the Twins, Percy, Oliver and Lee move on several hours ago. Knowing them, they would drag Percy, pretending to kick and scream, to a seedy bar where he would make the first excuse to stumble home and shag Oliver in the middle of the kitchen. They'd been doing that a lot since they moved in with eachother, and, apparently, the kitchen was Percy's favourite; no carpet burns and enough food to play with to last him a lifetime. The Twins, too, would probably stumble home and fall into bed with Lee… they had, as Hermione had discovered during her routine Prefect's duties, a penchance for doing that a lot... anywhere they could.

In fact, the only people still "partying" aside from her was Tonks, Moody and Snape... and Tonks and Moody were leaving. Great. Leave her alone with Snape, the only other git too pathetic to party. She may be a looser, but that didn't mean she wanted to hang out with one... even if he was a hell of a lot more attractive now that he could keep himself clean without fears of being discovered. The fact that he, in truth, rather enjoyed the occasional threesome with Remus and Sirius also helped to improve his mood.

Damn, now she was becoming interested in Snape she was that desperate. And horny. How could anyone listen to those four go at it like rabbits and not be horny, really...

Maybe he could do with a good lay from a woman who wasn't afraid to show him his place.

He'd need to be drunk first... very, very drunk. She'd had two firewhiskeys and she'd only just begun considering it, so he'd need to be mega drunk...

Maybe it'd be best to just give up now? She had nothing to prove, anyway, harry and Ron loved her this way; nice, predictable Hermione; always kep her head; always knew all the answers; always there to make sure thay didn't do anything too bad...

Right, Proffessor Snape, prepare to be well and truly fucked!

Just as soon as I pick myself up off the floor.

"Miss Granger, is there any particular reason you're laying on the floor?"

"Call me Hermione, Severus. No, I'm simply enjoying the view."

"What view?"

"Well, at the moment, Severus, all I can see is you, not that I'm complaining, mind; however, when you are not there, I can see a lovely crack on the ceiling, probably because those two are going at it so hard they're going to make the ceiling come crashing down on us."

"Which two would that be, Miss Granger?"

"One of them, not sure which one is above us. Please, as I already said, call me Hermione."

"Hermione... Is there anything I can get you? Water? Whiskey?"

"Condom and a pair of handcuffs if you have any." Hermione then giggled.

"Err, I have a condom, but no handcuffs I'm afraid. Anybody in particular you wish to use them on, considering I'm the only one here?"

"It'll have to be you then, and I have handcuffs in my bedroom."

"Very good, ten points to Gryffindor… make that fifty… not even Remus found out how to do thaaat…" 'Oh, this is far too easy... fun though…'

When she woke up to the sound of a badly stifled shriek, Hermione groaned and rolled over, jolting upright when she noticed Ginny stood at the door.

"Hermione, just because I spent the last few hours on with Neville does NOT mean you can leave... five, FIVE packets of used condoms on my bed!"

"Oh, put'em on the floor and go to bed." Hermione mumbled, already snugling down again. Ginny did as she was told, and went to sleep as well.

When, several hours later, she woke up to mumbled curses, she decided that one in the afternoon was about time to get up. When Severus pulled her into his arms again the second she released him and made a start on an encore, she decided to screw time... and him, for that matter.

A/N Well, how was that for an encore? I hope you enjoy reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it... I don't usually go in for Het, but that was too good to resist!

Well, R&R people, you should know the drill by now!