Chapter 4: Doubts

Chi Fu frowned as he watched Captain Li stride out the door.

He had never liked General Li Feng, and he liked his son Li Shang even less. As far as he was concerned, Li Shang was a spoiled, privileged boy who had probably never had to work at anything and who'd had everything handed to him all his life, including his rank.

No one else with so little experience would have been made a captain. And Li Shang wouldn't have been either had it not been for his father. In his opinion Li Shang didn't deserve the rank. It was obvious that he couldn't handle it. He'd failed to carry out the law and had spared the life of that treacherous creature Fa Mulan in the Tung Shao Pass.

Chi Fu snorted in disgust as he thought about that. The powerful, honorable Captain Li Shang weakened because of a worthless woman. If it had been up to him, he would have killed the two of them in the Tung Shao Pass.

Now the Emperor had given the captain a second chance, all because of his father. Anyone else would have lost his head, no second chance.

He didn't deserve it. The more Chi Fu traveled with him in search of the little snake, the more certain he was of that.

He was convinced that Captain Li was keeping things from him. And he made up his mind that once they found that creature, he would see to it that the two of them were taken care of.

xxxxxxx

The medic gestured for Shang to sit down after he let him in.

"How can I help you, Captain?"

"Gao-Rong told me that a young boy was here yesterday to have a wound treated."

"Yes, Captain. What about him?"

"Do you know where he went?"

"No, sir. I treated him and he left. The wound was starting to get infected. He told me that he had just received the wound; but I could see that it had been previously stitched and had re-opened. I tried to tell him that he should stay and let it heal, but he was in a hurry to leave and I can't make anyone stay against his will. Is he in trouble, Captain?"

"Is he alright?"

"Well, I was able to treat the infection. Fortunately it was just beginning and I was able to stop it very quickly. And I re-stitched the wound. I sent him away with some herbs to apply in case the wound opens again, to prevent another infection. But he will really be in trouble if that wound opens again."

"Did you get his name?"

"His name was Jin. Jin Kai-Feng."

Shang raised an eyebrow. There was something familiar about that name.

"Is there anything else, Captain?"

"No. Thank you for your time, sir."

xxxxxxx

After Mulan left the village where the medic had treated her she rode through that night, the next day and through the next night, wanting to put distance between her and the village in case the medic or Gao-Rong spoke to anyone.

Mushu kept trying to convince her to stop and get sleep.

"I'll watch out and warn you if anyone is coming, Mulan."

But Mulan didn't want to sleep. She had dreams about home and her family when she slept and they filled her with such unspeakable grief that she wanted to die. She had to keep going. She would sleep once she exhausted herself enough; and then, hopefully, it would be deep, dreamless sleep.

At least during the day she had some control over her thoughts. As soon as her thoughts turned to home and her family she could force them away. But in slumber she had no control.

There were moments that she didn't even know why she continued on. She didn't think she was capable of taking her own life. What would she do? Take her father's sword to her own throat?

She knew she couldn't do it. Faithful, steadfast Khan had saved her life once again and she was just compelled to keep going. She pushed herself on and on, not allowing herself to think about anything but survival, ignoring the pangs of grief and fear that plagued her constantly.

"Mushu, maybe you could backtrack and see if there is anyone following me."

"Good idea. Why don't you stop for a little while. You have been going for over thirty-six hours. Khan needs a rest too."

"I need to find a place where I can be hidden before I stop. I'll keep an eye out for a spot now."

xxxxxxx

Gao-Rong had told Shang that the boy was there the night before they arrived. Shang was sure that the 'boy' was Mulan, dressed up as Ping again. Which meant they were less than a full day behind her. If they continued on without stopping to sleep they would catch up to her. Though she probably wasn't stopping either.

Shang sighed as they rode on. This situation was miserable, as was this journey. It would have been bad enough if he were traveling alone; but it was worse with Chi Fu there. He couldn't stand Chi Fu and he knew the man resented him in return. He knew Chi Fu had hated his father, too.

He thought about his father now, about the way he had died. His father had been such a great general and he had taught Shang everything that he knew, all of his values. His father had been so confident in his own strength, in his ability and his army's ability to defeat the enemy. But his father had been over-confident, to the point of arrogance, and it had been his downfall. He'd completely underestimated his enemy and it had cost him his own life and the lives of his entire troop.

His mother had died several years before and it had just been his father and him for those years. Now he was alone. And chasing after a girl who was as alone as he was.

Shang still couldn't believe that after everything Mulan had done, everything she'd been through, the Emperor had still ordered her death. For his entire life he had been taught tradition and duty and to act in a way that was honorable. But was it honorable to kill this extraordinary girl that had saved them all just because he was obeying the Emperor's order?

She'd saved his life in the Tung Shao Pass and Shang knew he couldn't kill her then. True, he had failed to carry out the Emperor's law; but what kind of a law was it that said he should kill this girl when she had saved his life and the lives of his troop, just because of what she was?

She'd saved his life again in the Imperial City, along with everyone else's life, including the Emperor. And he'd sentenced her to death for high treason.

But what had she done, really? She'd dressed up as a man and had taken her father's place in the army to save his life. He himself had been furious at her for lying and deceiving him. But she hadn't actually harmed him or anyone else. And if it weren't for the law, she wouldn't have had to deceive anyone.

He remembered his father talking about Mulan's father, his friend Fa Zhou. He was a famous and honored warrior. He'd been wounded in the last battle that he fought in and Shang now remembered that his father had said that Fa Zhou could no longer sit on a horse. The general had wondered if the man would be able to walk again. Shang couldn't fathom why he would have received a conscription notice.

Shang sighed again. He didn't know what was right or what to believe in anymore.

He wondered if the Emperor even expected him to ever return to the Imperial City, or if this had merely been a way to dispatch him. If that was the case, he was already dishonored and he had dishonored his family.

He also suspected that Chi Fu possibly had orders to kill him, and was planning to do so as soon as they caught up to Mulan.