Title: Sundaes
Author: walkwithheroes
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss is the creator, I am not Joss.
Challenge the ninety-fourth-lunch
Words: 1000
Characters: All; canon couples of Zoe/Wash, Simon/Kaylee, and Inara/Mal. (Het)
Summary: Sundaes are only lunch food when something exciting is going to happen.

A/N: NO 'Serenity' spoilers. This is AU and a one-shot.

River was not allowed to touch guns or knives. 'No touching guns or knives, unless Captain or Simon says it's okay'. That was why she had been so surprised when Kaylee had handed her a knife and asked that River cut the strawberries.

"Against the rules." River had tried to explain. She tried to hand it back to Kaylee.

Kaylee had smiled brightly. "It's okay, River. Simon's right there," the older girl had gestured toward Simon, who was calmly reading a book at the table. "and Jayne's here, too." Kaylee nodded to Jayne, who was cleaning his guns at the table.

River gave Kaylee a sideways look, but began cutting the strawberries anyhow. From his spot at the table, Simon smiled proudly. From his spot at the table, Jayne spit onto his smallest gun before rubbing it down with an old shirt.

"I've asked before, but could you please not do that, ever?" Simon asked Jayne. He wrinkled his nose up in disgusted before abandoning his book to help the girls prepare lunch.

"Improper conditions for food preparations." River muttered angrily under her breath. She glared at Jayne. "No spitting around food."

Jayne let out a scoff just as Kaylee let out a giggle. Simon gave his sister a grin, before telling her to shush and cut the strawberries.

"Jayne should not clean guns around food. Bunk." River muttered, more to herself then to the other three people in the room. "What would mother say?"

The mercenary just shot River a dirty look before putting his gun down. He ran a large hand over his mouth as he stood up and joined the others at the stove. "W'at ya makin'?"

"Sundaes." Simon explained. He quickly took a piece of strawberry before either Kaylee or River could notice.

Jayne was peering at the fixings as if they were objects he'd never seen before. "Sundaes ain't lunch food."

Kaylee rolled her eyes. "Since when do you care 'bout food bein' lunch food? 'Sides this is a special treat, for 'Nara and the Cap'n." Kaylee exchanged secret smile with River. The men looked utterly confused.

" 'Nara and Mal doin' somethin'?" Jayne asked the girls.

"Wash and Zoe, too!" River told him cheerfully. Then, as an after thought, she gave her brother a look. "You're behind."

Simon gave Kaylee a look, but Kaylee pretended not to notice. "We better hurry and finish settin' the table." The mechanic grabbed a couple of bowls and quickly made her way to the large table. Simon stared after her for a moment before following her.

Jayne gave River a sideways glance. "That 'bout somethin'?"

Really, Jayne just didn't see did he? "Kaylee wants Simon to propose." She offered him one of her loopy smiles. "Two by two. Everybody needs a partner. A mate. A pair. A set." Jayne just stared at her. "You'll see." She picked up the bowl of strawberries and headed to the table.

"We havin' sundaes for lunch?" Everyone looked over to see Mal enter, Inara just behind him. "Sundaes aren't generally lunch food, are they?" He looked behind him at Inara, who simply shrugged. "Didn't think so."

"It's for you and Inara." Kaylee supplied, just a little too cheerfully. "An' Wash an' Zoe."

Mal took his seat at the head of the table and Inara sat to his right. The pair exchanged a look. From her spot behind the stove, River looked at Mal and Inara with a sweet and deceptively innocent smile. "Little one, you got somethin' to share?"

River shook her head. "Yours to tell."

A moment later, Book entered from the passenger dorms. After that, Wash and Zoe came trailing in.

"Sundaes for lunch." Book stated in awe as he took a seat. "Things are different in the black."

The group began eating, but where stopped when River loudly said: "Supposed to tell now. No treat until secrets get told."

Both Wash and Zoe and Mal and Inara exchanged nervous looks.

"We're goin' ta have a baby." Zoe and Wash stated.

At the same time, Inara said: "Mal's asked me to marry him. I've agreed, under certain terms, of course."

The table was painfully silent for a moment. There was a beat and then it exploded into talking and laughing and congratulations to both couples.

Kaylee squealed. "Isn't this exciting?"

Book was actually beaming. "A baby and a wedding. My bible's sure to be busy."

The crew all laughed at that, mostly to stop Mal from saying anything he'd regret.

Zoe looked at Simon. "Thought you could give me a check up. Make sure the baby's okay."

Simon nodded. "After the sundaes, we could head that way."

"Me too." Wash added. "I want to see if my kid looks like a dinosaur kind of kid. I already have the dinos I want to give the baby all picked out."

"And the wedding?" Kaylee asked Mal and Inara.

The couple exchanged a look before Mal answered: "Soon as we can hit Shadow."

"Two weeks, five days, ten hours, thirteen minutes, and fifty six seconds." River whispered.

Mal nodded. "Right, what she said."

After lunch, Jayne, River, and Book were left with the cleanup. River was nearly glowing; Simon would propose to Kaylee after the wedding.

Jayne looked over at River. "I get it, now. Couples an' babies an' marriage. Load of crap if ya ask me."

Book picked his bible off of one of the chairs in the sitting area. "Oh, I know someone that would disagree with that."

River giggled. "Toss the flowers; I'm next." She took a strawberry and offered it to both Jayne and Book. "Which one to share the virginal bridal bed?"

Both men exchanged a nervous look.

"I'm a Shepard, River. You'll have to find a groom somewhere else." He smirked and headed toward his room.

Before River could speak again, Jayne started blushing and rushed out of the room. River watched him go for a moment, shrugged, and popped the strawberry into her mouth.

-The End-