A Bleach Ficlet

Pairings: Ichigo x Rukia, Kenpachi x Unohana and some others that you might spot.

A/N: Based on an extra page in a chapter I can't remember.

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite. The sharks belong to me.

A pause. And then, "Magnificent."

Another pause, longer this time. Followed by, "Absolutely heaven."

A cold tin of Coke came flying at his head, thrown by none other than Kurosaki Ichigo. "Keep your perverted comments to yourself, Kyoraku-taichou!"

Shunsui tipped his customary hat, looking wounded. "Why Kurosaki-san, don't you agree with me? Or do you prefer boys?"

"You wish!" Ichigo snapped back, incensed. Five minutes was all it took for Shunsui to incense the substitute Shinigami. Then again, he guessed he should not have commented so openly on Kuchiki Rukia's adorable bathing suit…

Actually he loved everyone's bathing suits. Even little Yachiru, whom Shunsui normally held a tyrannical opinion on was childishly cute in pink. She was currently building huge sandcastles and then demolishing them with a squeal, getting sand on Kotetsu Isane.

But no matter how much he wants to praise the lovely flowers in bloom before him, Shunsui knew there were limits. One especially doesn't comment on Fifth Vice-Captain Hinamori Momo, not unless they have a deathwish.

He sneaked a peek at Hitsugaya Toushiro who was eating a watermelon under a tree. The prodigy looked bored as usual, garbed in a yellow T-shirt and blue beach shorts. He was looking in boredom at Renji and Kira, both fukutaichou engaged in the pointless competition of digging the biggest hole. Zaraki had earlier accepted Shiba Kuukaku's invitation of catching the biggest shark (probably wants to impress Unohana, who was looking out to sea with a pair of binoculars) while Shiba Ganjyu was arguing with Yumichika about sissy seashells, which pissed the fifth-seat off.

Ichigo meanwhile was resting after his swim against Ikkaku, the bald shinigami losing by a hand span (a fact Ichigo wasted no time rubbing in).

"Ichigo!" A cheerful voice called and both men turned to see Rukia coming towards them carrying a dish of watermelon. "Kyoraku-taichou. Don't you want to swim, sir?"

"Of course not," Shunsui grinned. "My cute little Nanao-chan is in the water right now. If I come in she will never forgive me," He accepted a slice of watermelon and Rukia sat next to Ichigo. "Enjoying yourself?"

Ichigo grunted as he dried his hair. "Why ask me? It was you shinigami's idea to come down to the beach today, right?"

"I was just being polite, dummy," Rukia punched his shoulder. "And yeah, everyone seems to be having fun."

Ichigo popped a soda can and took a swig. When Rukia had forwarded the suggestion at first, he thought the shinigami had gone mad. Then again, he realized that they just wanted to have fun. Chad had declined the invitation (he had jamming practice) and Ishida was just being plain Ishida.

"…stupid Matsumoto," Hitsugaya suddenly muttered. Shunsui looked up at this rare burst of expression. "What is it, Hitsugaya-kun?"

The tenth division captain scowled and raised his hands to cup his mouth, but thought better against it. "She's gonna play volleyball. Heck, didn't she remember what she's wearing!"

"Oh…" Was all Rukia could say and Ichigo shuffled to turn around the opposite way. "Gimme another watermelon."

Hitsugaya's comment spurred another reaction. Out of Ichigo's duffel bag popped a plushie's head, its beady eyes gleaming in anticipation. Ohohohoho… he knew it was the right decision to sneak into Ichigo's bag today…

The shinigami had shuffled into a five-against team, with (incidentally) Rangiku, Orihime, Yoruichi, Isane and Kiyone against Urahara, Shuuhei, Ikkaku, Tatsuki and Sentarou.

"Alright, Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime beamed wickedly. "I'm going to beat you this time!"

"Heh!" Tatsuki grinned back. "Not with me here!"

Nemu blew the whistle and Rangiku's team got first serve.

Hitsugaya watched with mixed feelings as his fukutaichou pranced around. He was willing to bet on one out of three possibilities –

"Do you think they will play fair?" Shunsui had come out of the shade to muse next to the boy. Hitsugaya grunted. "No-Freakin-Way."

"Yare yare," He flopped down on the sand with a bottle of sake. "This is gonna be interesting."

Hitsugaya merely narrowed his eyes. It was a recipe for disaster. Matsumoto + bikini + volleyball well… Hitsugaya was famed for his unlimited imagination (how else would he be a prodigy otherwise?) so he decided not to pursue that train of thought; it wasn't a very pleasant one. He was supposed to relax, not worry about his adjutant's antics. Although he was supposed to be the kid, Matsumoto was far more irresponsible than him.

"What's the noise over there?" Another voice had joined them and Hitsugaya turned to see Ukitake approach. "You're late."

"Sorry, sorry," Ukitake smiled sheepishly. "I had something to take care of with Yama-ji. Did I miss anything?"

"Of course not," Shunsui crowed. "Just the beginnings of a wonderful volleyball game."

"Volleyball?" Ukitake studied the game for a moment before sweat-dropping. "Ano… are they sure they want to play like that?"

Hitsugaya cast him a strange look. "I don't see anything wrong with that apart from Yoruichi-sempai and Urahara-sempai playing opposites."

"Well, I don't know if Urahara and Yoruichi will cause any trouble, but Kiyone playing against Sentarou is… well… why didn't Kuchiki stop them?" He asked helplessly and Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. "If you're talking about the Sixth Division captain, he's not here. And Rukia's more interested in Ichigo than volleyball," Hitsugaya jerked his thumb in the two's general direction, unaware that Rukia had somehow cajoled Ichigo into being buried alive, the orange-head growling obscenities with every shovel of sand she piled on him.

"I see…" Ukitake mumbled, not really seeing at all. He certainly didn't ask about Byakuya; in fact it would probably give him a seizure if he saw the head of the noble Kuchiki clan stripped down to shorts and swimming. "I don't see Zaraki."

"There," Hitsugaya nodded his head without taking his eyes off the volleyball match. Zaraki's spirit signature was so obvious one doesn't even need to look to determine his position.

"I see… dead fishes…" Ukitake was more befuddled than ever and blinked as another shark burst out of the water, apparently flung by some force.

"He and Shiba-san are still at it. It's surprising why he can't win; he has two hands and Shiba-san only has one arm. You'd think he's going easy on her."

However sharks were put on hold when a loud yell came from the court. And this was swiftly accompanied by a burst of light and Sentarou screaming; "Unnacceptable!"

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.

"It is fair! We didn't use our feet!" Matsumoto argued as Orihime vanished her Sacred-Shield. "And Madarame-san has an advantage because he's bald!"

"Do you have a problem with that, woman?" Ikkaku was rising to his full height, his bald pate gleaming in the sunlight. "We didn't say anything when Matsumoto received the ball with her humungous boobs, did we? So wh – Mmmf!" He was knocked back when Matsumoto unexpectedly spiked the ball to his face. "Did you say something, Ikkaku?" She asked dangerously.

"So I count that as a point?' Nemu asked, sitting high in her umpire seat.

"Look what you've done, booger girl! Now my team is short of one player!" Sentarou yelled, nose-to-nose with Kiyone. The incensed third seat wasn't going down. "Hell no, dumbass! Your team's the one who started this! The ball nearly punctured because Hisagi-san tried to headbutt it!"

"Now you're dragging me into this?" Hisagi demanded.

Hitsugaya shook his head. He knew this would happen. At least the dreaded scenario he envisioned didn't come to pass, but things could get nasty if someone didn't intervene.

And again he was spared the hassle of intervening when a huge wave soared above the beach and crashed into the volleyball court, bringing a load of dead sharks along with it.

"Hell yeah! I caught it!" A loud female voice was yelling over the roar and another more terrifying voice roared in reply; "Forget it, woman! I wrestled it!"

The now drenched spectators watched in dazed puzzlement as two figures stood in the shallows, tugging a simply enormous shark between them, carcass of their other kills littered about.

Zaraki wore an expression that can make the dead scramble out of their grave and run, but Kuukaku isn't giving in that easily. "Aren't you even the slightest bit a gentleman?" She demanded while keeping a hold on the shark with one arm.

"Never had it!" Zaraki ground back, yanking with both hands, not wanting to give in to their childish game. But he was about to, albeit grudgingly.

"Ken-chan!" A pink bundle bowled into him and forced him to loosen his grip on the shark. With a whoop of triumph, Kuukaku yanked it away, cackling madly. "Take that, Zaraki-freakin'-Kenpachi!"

"YACHIRU!"

Hitsugaya suppressed the vein that was threatening to burst at his temple. Turning heel, he briskly walked back to the shade of trees - and then disappeared.

Ukitake was so surprised that it was a few seconds before he hurried over. There, in front of him, was the biggest possible hole he had seen - and possibly the deepest. And right there in the bottom, covered in sand and looking like he could murder a Menos was Hitsugaya. He had done the idiot's mistake of…stepping into a traphole.

Hitsugaya glared up, saw Ukitake and then turned his eyes to two other heads who have just popped. "Abarai…Kira…" He said in a dangerously low voice, reiatsu coming off him in waves; "What…is the meaning of this!"

Renji slowly edged away, looking sheepish. "Eh, um, whoops?"

"Whoops? Whoops! Explain whoops to me, Abarai." Hitsugaya had got to his feet, waist high in fine sand.

"Well you see, we thought we'd bring Ichigo over to fall in the hole, but Rukia had buried him so tight that it was kindda difficult to pull him out, and when we did, you had already fallen in the trap – um – taichou…" His voice faded as icy reiatsu pillared up. Kira, recognizing the signs hurriedly scrambled away. Hitsugaya could take a joke, but he suspected this wasn't the prodigy's idea of a laugh.

Hitsugaya leapt out of the hole with a roar and promptly began to chase the two vice-captains down.

Ichigo flexed his cramped muscles as he watched them. "Geez, it's just a little hole. Ururu put me in a much deeper one when I was training."

It was sundown when everyone managed to calm down (as best as they could). It was fortunate they had Captain Unohana and Vice-Captain Kotetsu; Kira and Renji's injuries could be tended to immediately as well as Kiyone and Sentarou's. Matsumoto was still sore at Ikkaku for referring to her prized assets as 'monstrosities' (comments that only her taichou was allowed to make). Since Zaraki and Kuukaku had obliterated much of marine life, they decided on a huge BBQ, courtesy of said individuals. Shunsui had produced sake out of nowhere, and soon the air was filled with the sounds of laughter and general merriment.

Rukia dreamily looked at the sunset. "Pretty, isn't it Ichigo? It's the color of your hair."

"Che." He sipped his coke and ducked to avoid a piece of sharkmeat thrown by Yachiru to Ikkaku. "Depends on how you look at it." He studied the sunset. "The edge nearest to us is dark; more like your hair than mine."

"Don't ruin the romantic moment, dumbass," Rukia scowled half-heartedly before pulling her knees to her chin. "Sunsets remind me of you," She mumbled. "Not quite light, not quite dark… just somewhere in between."

He didn't know whether that was an insult or a compliment, so he just kept quiet. It was comfortable like this; despite being surrounded by sound and mayhem, it felt like they were enclosed in a private bubble, isolated from the chaos outside. Just him, and her.

"Ichigo!"

He twitched. He knew it couldn't last. Renji draped an arm over his shoulder, breath reeking of sake. "I – I challenge you again, Ichigo! A fight… a fight… to the death!"

"Idiot, you didn't bring your zanpakutou," Ichigo muttered as he pushed Renji off him. "How the hell do you want to fight me? With palm fronds!"

"H..Hee…" His words were lost on the redhead, now wasted. Looking around, Ichigo realized that most of the other shinigami were in similar states of semi-sanity. Even Unohana was asleep, surprisingly on Zaraki's shoulder.

"Oi, Rukia."

The smaller shinigami nodded sagely, worry lines creasing her forehead.

"How the hell do we carry them all back?"