Chapter Fifteen – I've got another confession, my friend.

Harriet knew she was going to have to explain this to Greg. If he hadn't been standing there, she wouldn't have to. How much had he heard? All of it, she assumed, by the way he couldn't wait to walk away. She was so nervous that what would probably have been a silent car journey, like the many they had previously had after certain dilemmas, turned her into a gibbering wreck. She made enough small talk to satisfy the chitchat quota of a small village.

'So how were you at work?'

'Fine,' Greg said, changing gear and staring at the road.

'I didn't see you much,'

'Was busy helping Nick with his case.'

'Oh o.k. Were you all right after the funeral, though?'

'I was fine. Life goes on I guess,' Greg sighed and flicked his indicator on to turn left.

'I know but I was worried about you.'

'I'm sure you were.' Greg flicked the indicator off after making the turn.

'I meant what I said you know.'

'About what?'

'About you representing the side well.'

'Yeah as if I did.' Greg glanced at her before looking back at the road.

'I was proud of you. You did Mikey justice.'

'I didn't do anything, I hardly knew the kid. No one did him any justice, he still died.'

This finally shut Harriet up. He hadn't asked her anything yet. Perhaps he had forgotten, still preoccupied by the funeral. How self centred she had been to think that Greg was interested in her life when he was mourning for a child he had tried so hard to save.

Despite thinking this, Harriet was still on edge back at the apartment. Greg sat playing on his games console, shooting out drug dealers. She went in the kitchen to get a drink. He hadn't said a word about Rick or Jake, just sat in silence for a bit before putting the game on. She started to pace up and down whilst the coffee machine boiled. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She knew he must have something to say.

'Greg just ask me please,' she said, standing and looking at him from the kitchen.

'Don't know what you're talking about.' He said, flatly, hitting a button on his control.

'I can't stand you not saying anything like it never happened.'

'What are you talking about?' Greg asked, pressing a different button twice.

'You saw me with Rick and the kid.'

Greg stopped hitting buttons but didn't take his eyes off the screen. The drug dealer character carried on shooting until the game played a tune of defeat and Greg had lost the game. He sighed and looked at her.

'O.k., if you want to tell me, come and tell me,' he said, turning off the TV and putting the controller down.

Harriet took a deep breath and went and sat by him on the sofa. She sat to attention almost, on the edge of her seat. Greg looked at her calmly. Maybe he didn't feel that this was his business, she realised.

'What would you like to know?' she asked.

'Whatever you want to tell me but if you're going to tell me you might as well tell me everything but it's up to you.' Greg replied, with a small smile that broke the ice for her a little.

'Ok, Rick and I were involved during my year as a DNA tech and I fell pregnant. Due to department politics we shouldn't really have been seeing each other.' Harriet began.

'Department politics?' Greg repeated, puzzled.

'He was my supervisor.' Harriet explained.

Greg raised an eyebrow and smiled cheekily as if to imply that he was shocked that she would do that.

'Grow up,' she said with a smile and carried on with the story. 'Anyway, we split up, I gave birth and I left the baby with Rick. Then I started my training as an investigator and three years later here I am. You know the rest.'

'So you have a three year old son, and still managed to make it to a CSI III in the space of three years. How did you fit it all in?' Greg said, as if trying to confirm.

'I gave the baby to Rick, I never wanted to be a parent especially not with someone I hadn't been seeing that long. I started training as an investigator straight after I gave birth so it wasn't that difficult' Harriet said, quietly, afraid of what Greg might think of her.

'So you're not involved in his life at all? He seemed quite comfortable with you.' Greg said. She couldn't detect any opinion in his voice.

'As he got a little older, Rick encouraged me to be involved but I just take him out on a Saturday for an hour, I've never really been a mother to him. Rick has spoken to him about me so I guess that's why it's not weird for the child at all.' Harriet put her head in her hands. 'You must think I'm a complete bitch.'

Greg put a hand on her shoulder. He didn't know what he thought; he still needed time for this to sink in. What he did know was that, although it seemed strange that she didn't want anything to do with her own child, his feelings for her were still strong. He kept noticing her mannerisms, the things she did when she felt stressed which was a lot of the time he noticed. She seemed to be carrying a lot of guilt on her shoulders. There was something else behind her exterior which he had already seen a little of when she told him about her mother. Then he had seen a little of what made her who she was, more than just a professional workaholic with an unhealthy interest in insects, a female Grissom if you will. He had seen that she was just a human and needed someone to be there. He found himself wishing he were that person.

'I don't think you're a bitch at all,' he said.

Harriet looked up at him; her eyes were shining with tears that looked like they had been preparing to fall but had been discouraged by his words. He swore his heart skipped a beat. He just wanted to hold her and make her feel better and though that wasn't beyond the realms of friendship he decided against it.

'You don't?' she said.

'No, I admit I don't understand it but you must have had your reasons for making that decision. He seems like a happy kid from what I saw,' Greg said.

'I can't explain it. I just never wanted to have him and the further on the pregnancy got, the stronger I felt that I didn't want it.' She said.

Greg nodded. He could sense that she wasn't lying. She hadn't once mentioned her son by his name, nor had she referred to him as her baby. The baby, that's what she had said. She didn't seem to be denying that he was her son but she certainly wasn't pretending she had a bond with him.

'So you're not with Rick?' he asked at last.

He didn't know why he'd asked. She had already explained that they'd split up. Did he really need confirmation that she was single? It wasn't like he was planning on trying anything with her, not now. Despite feeling close to her and wanting to get her to open up, be there for her, he didn't feel like a relationship was the best idea right now. It was probably the last thing she had in mind as well. He was under no illusions.

'No, all the feelings I had for him went when I realized I didn't want to be the mother of his child,' Harriet replied. 'I don't know why.'

'Did you love him?' Greg asked and wished he hadn't, it wasn't relevant and he might have inadvertently exposed his feelings.

'Yes I did. He is a wonderful man, never did wrong by me. Even now, he still tries to get through to me,' she said.

Greg nodded, feeling his stomach sink. Something told him there was still chemistry between Harriet and her child's father. She was a complicated person; he knew that, maybe the thing was that she didn't need to be. Being an intelligent person, she obviously thought everything through and it probably seemed logical to her but Greg still couldn't get his head around the fact she felt no bond towards her son.

Harriet felt sick. She didn't like hearing out loud what she had done. Carrying a child for nine months, giving birth and then walking away without a second thought was an awful thing to do. She had felt awful afterwards but still didn't want to be a mother to the baby. Greg sat looking at her, not saying anything. She wished he would, this was so awkward. He said he didn't think badly of her but she didn't believe him. She had made a lot of mistakes in her life. Moving to Las Vegas had felt like the one positive thing she had done in a long time. Probably since the time she studied for her masters degree at the same time as completing her final year of her undergraduate degree. Maybe work had come first too many times.

There was a knock at the door. A welcome distraction for her, at least this would break up the conversation. Greg got up to answer it, walking quietly through the living area to the door. Harriet ran a hand through her hair and then got up to return to the coffee she had been making in the kitchen. She stopped dead, halfway between the sofa and the kitchen when she saw Greg close the door.

He was holding a large cardboard box. It was what she had asked for; she couldn't believe Rick had actually got it for her. The thing that shocked her most was the small child standing next to Greg's leg, teddy bear under one arm, a small bag in his other hand.

'Looks like I've got myself another room mate,' Greg said, looking very unsure about it but trying to keep the positive goofy smile, which he used so often, firmly in place.

A/N - yet another twist. Like I said, I didn't have any plans for this story I just wrote it and got carried away which is probably why it is getting a little bit cheesy and over dramatic. Hopefully I have explained a bit more about Harriet's character. There is some more coming up soon.