A/N - again there are some made up/spelt wrong words in here on purpose but the actual word is revealed again so it will make sense. It's just a repeated joke like from the earlier chapter where Jake couldn't say responsibilities.
Chapter Twenty-Five – Reconciliation.
'Greg! Greg! Greg!'
Greg groaned and tried to open his eyes but they were still heavy. He hadn't slept very well but knew he would have to get up for work soon. A few more minutes wouldn't go amiss but someone certainly wanted to make sure he wasn't going to get them.
'Wake up!' the voice shouted loudly.
'O.K. O.k.' Greg moaned defeated and rolled over, opening his eyes enough to see who was there.
Jake was jumping up and down on the empty side of his bed; clearly full of energy, which seemed odd, as it was early evening. Greg rubbed his eyes and smiled.
'What do you want you little monster?' he asked, tiredly but still managed to be playful.
'I wanna go to the circus!' Jake announced.
'Sorry little dude, I have to go to work,' Greg replied.
Jake stuck his bottom lip out and bounced on the bed once more landing skilfully on his bottom next to Greg.
'You've bounced on beds before haven't you?' Greg said, laughing.
'Don't tell my daddy,' Jake said quietly and Greg had to laugh some more. Even at the age of three this kid was smart.
'I won't I promise and I will take you to the circus tomorrow afternoon, just check that it's o.k. with your mom and dad,' Greg said.
'Dad says it's o.k, as long as he gets to take me out before because it's my birthday,' Jake said excitedly and clapped his hands.
'Really?' Greg said, surprised that Harriet hadn't mentioned it earlier in the week. 'What's your mom say?'
'Nothing.' Jake said. 'She always forgets.'
Greg felt his heart sink at the sincerity of the little boy. He didn't seem to mind at all that his own mother forgot his birthday every year.
'O.k. I won't forget I promise, what do you want for your birthday?' Greg asked.
Jake sat for a few minutes as if trying to think of something. It was obviously a hard decision for a young man about to turn four years old. Finally, Jake looked up at Greg again, his eyes wide with excitement.
'I want one of them maccasnopes like mummy has,' Jake said.
'A want?'
'A micnarsoap.' Jake said.
'Really, I don't understand,' Greg said.
Jake made a noise like he was getting frustrated. 'It's one of those words I can't remember like spostinilities,' Jake said.
'Oh, o.k. Try and say it slowly.' Greg said.
'A micarslope like mummy uses at work,' Jake said.
Greg smiled with realisation 'Ohh, a microscope?'
'Yeah that's what I said.' Jake replied.
'O.k. I'll see what I can do now get out of here so I can get dressed.'
'Yeah good idea. Mummy doesn't want to see your bum again,' Jake said and laughed loudly.
Greg snorted in surprise that Jake had said this. 'What?'
'When you had no clothes on, mummy was smiling for ages,' Jake said pulling a face.
'Get out of here you,' Greg said, pushing him off the bed.
Jake laughed and ran out back into the kitchen/living room area where Rick had just started to call him. Greg rubbed his forehead out of lack of sleep and embarrassment that the naked incident had been brought up again and also because he didn't know Jake had noticed when it happened he had been in such a rush for the toilet. It seemed like it was years ago but it had only been last night. Something felt different though; like they had crossed some invisible line somewhere and the days of joking and winding each other up were gone. How they were going to live together now he wasn't sure. She could even be going back to England for all he knew; the three of them had looked very cosy earlier.
Greg shook his head to rid it of his thoughts and got up to have a shower, making sure the bathroom door was well and truly locked.
Harriet couldn't remember the last time she felt so nervous. She felt like a teenager waiting for her first date to pick her up only it was mixed with the fear that this could all go horribly wrong. She wasn't naïve enough to think that an apology would straighten things out but she hoped it might help.
Having left Jake and Rick in the break room, she wandered down the corridor to find Greg. Wandered wasn't the word – more like dawdled. She was putting it off as long as she could, paying particular attention to the floor tiles whilst she was deep in thought.
'Where are you going in such a hurry?'
Harriet stopped walking and looked up to her left. She was surprised to find the owner of the sarcastic comment was Greg. She was doubly surprised to find that he was in the DNA lab, working from the looks of it.
'I was looking for you actually,' she said, hoping her nerves weren't coming out in her voice.
'Well, you found me. Pull up a pew,' Greg said.
Harriet walked into the lab and sat down in the spare chair. Maybe he was prepared to talk now. He hadn't said anything to her at home, she knew he had had a chat with Jake but aside from getting something to eat when he finally emerged from his room, she hadn't seen him. Greg was busy transferring some serum onto a swab before putting it into the DNA analyser. He pressed some buttons on the machine then put everything down and looked at her. His eyes were dull; he looked tired and aged for a twenty eight year old.
'So what are you doing here?' he asked, wearily.
'I could ask you the same thing,' Harriet said, with a small smile. 'This is my lab.'
'You're not supposed to be here, Grissom told you to take a few days off,' Greg replied, nonchalantly.
'You know me, never do the right thing,' Harriet said, feeling a little uneasy at his lack of expression.
'I'm covering for you but seeing as you're here,' he said, standing, about to remove his lab coat.
'No,' Harriet said. 'I'm not here to work.'
Greg sat back down silently, his eyes wandering around the lab, looking at everything but her. Harriet sighed and looked at him.
'I'm here to apologise,' she said.
That seemed to gain his interest. He looked up at her, surprised as though he wasn't expecting an apology from her.
'What's that look for?' she asked. 'You don't think I'm capable of admitting when I'm wrong?'
'It's not that. I just thought I was the one who should be apologising,' Greg said, no longer averting eye contact with her.
Harriet breathed a small laugh. 'Let's not start this, we could be here all night,' she said.
Greg gave her a bashful half-smile as though he felt awkward like he didn't really know her.
'I guess,' he said. 'I'm sorry anyway, I said some things yesterday that I probably shouldn't have.'
Harriet shook her head.' No you didn't it's fine. You found Jake and saved his life and all I could do was criticise you for trying to do your job so I'm sorry.'
She exhaled deeply as if it had been a great strain to say it. It was more so that she wanted to say it right, so he knew that she meant every word. He smiled softly at her as though he was grateful for the apology but embarrassed at the same time.
'I wasn't expecting any recognition I wanted him safe as much as you did,' Greg said.
Harriet nodded 'I know and I accused you of not having his best interests at heart and I was wrong, I'm sorry I really am. I don't want to lose our friendship.'
Friendship. That's what it was to her. It wasn't entirely what he wanted but it was better than nothing at all. He had felt anxious when he had seen her wandering around outside and had debated whether or not to speak to her but he had done it so instinctively that he didn't recall making the decision to say anything. The banter they had had felt forced and awkward but it felt nice to be speaking to her again. He was surprised that she had come looking for him to apologise. He had been angry at her last night but common sense had kicked in and he had put her outburst down to the stress of what she had been through. His trepidation at speaking to her again had more to do with what he had said to her in the heat of the moment.
'I don't either but I have to confess I'm surprised you're still talking to me after what I said to you,' he said, avoiding her eyes out of shame.
'I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt,' Harriet said quietly, looking at the counter and then up at him.
'I didn't mean it, I was just tired and angry and I know that's no excuse,' Greg said, desperately, trying to explain.
Harriet looked at him, tilting her head to one side as if she was thinking something. She looked sympathetically at him as if she had psycho analysed some underlying issue that Greg had.
'Maybe, but there was something behind it wasn't there?' she said.
'I thought you were a CSI not a shrink,' Greg said, half-joking although her comment had struck a nerve.
'You're avoiding the question Greg, you were angry but sometimes people say what they're really thinking when they're angry. What were you thinking?' Harriet asked.
Greg sighed feeling a tingling sensation in his nose and a warmth behind his eyelids as he closed his eyes for a second. He couldn't do this; he didn't want to cry over this again. He took a deep breath in and opened his eyes again, glad that no tears fell. It wouldn't have made a difference, her face fell when she looked at him. She could see he was upset.
'As soon as I found out Jake was missing I thought about Mikey. I didn't want another dead child on my hands and I felt angry that you had only just realised that you could be a mother because you have an incredible kid and you're so lucky to have him. Mikey's mom would do anything to get him back and would be grateful for that much. You've had Jake for a week, how could you know whether I was making things worse for him?' Greg said taking a slow shaky breath because he had said it all so quickly. 'That's sort of why I said what I said, I'm so sorry.'
Harriet smiled at him, she didn't shout, didn't scream or try and stick the microscope somewhere where even surgery wouldn't be able to remove it. She just smiled at him.
'I understand and I think the reason it hurt so much was that I knew deep down what you were saying was true so don't feel bad about it. I'm totally to blame.' Harriet said eventually.
'I thought we weren't going to do this?' Greg asked with a smile.
'Do what?'
'Go around in circles, blaming ourselves and apologising,' he said.
Harriet laughed. 'We're not doing a very good job are we?'
'Not really. How about I apologise and you accept it?' he suggested.
'O.k., but then you have to accept my apology too,' Harriet smiled.
'Deal. I'm sorry.' Greg said, feeling the tension that had been building up lifting from him.
'Apology accepted, I'm sorry too.'
'Also accepted,' Greg said, smiling.
They sat for a moment not saying anything. He started to look around the room again, pretending to check on the progress of the DNA machine. He was glad that they had talked this through but he also felt like he was going to cry any minute. He looked down at his shoes; the thoughts of the Richardson case were fading but still there like they were haunting him. He looked up when he felt Harriet take his hand.
'You're really not dealing with it are you?' she asked.
Greg shrugged. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' He lied.
'Mikey's case, I knew it had gotten to you, I just didn't realise how much,' she said in a tone of voice that meant he couldn't deny it.
'I'll be fine, it's just one of those things.' Greg said looking up to the ceiling and blinking away the tears.
'Don't give me that!' Harriet snapped. 'It's been two weeks since it happened and it's still bothering you. Have you talked to anyone about it?
Greg rolled his eyes; he didn't want to have this conversation. He wasn't even sure he wanted to talk about it; he just wanted it to go away so he could be happy, go-lucky dependable Greg again.
The DNA analyser bleeped and the printer started spitting out sheet after sheet of results. He got up quickly and turned it off. He didn't need fifty copies of the same results.
'Damn thing,' he said, picking up the loose ones that had gone on the floor.
'Have you spoken to anyone?' Harriet asked again.
'Grissom asked me if I was o.k after the funeral and I said I was,' Greg said, truthfully, no one else had really asked him.
He carried on picking up the sheets of paper and then started to shuffle them so they were in a neat pile so that he could read them. He looked at the read outs and discovered that the sample was an exact match to one of the suspects.
'I'm sorry, I've got to go find Warrick,' Greg said, starting to exit the lab.
'Sure, I'll see you when you get home.' Harriet replied.
Greg stopped at the door and walked back to her, giving her a huge hug. He wanted to thank her for caring enough to make the first move and sort out their differences. She hugged him back and for a brief moment he felt like his old self again. Beginning to realise that he might have been holding her a lot longer than the unwritten book of friendship boundary crossing would allow, he pulled away. That and he had started to smell her hair. Definitely crossing a boundary there – not a great idea. He started to walk out of the lab again and had an idea. Don't hurt yourself, he imagined Harriet would say.
'So do you want to come with me and Jake tomorrow?' he asked.'
'Yeah sure,' Harriet smiled enthusiastically. 'It's his birthday isn't it?'
'I thought you didn't know,' Greg said.
'I never forgot that,' Harriet said. 'I did spend twelve hours in labour after all.'
Greg laughed a little 'So I'll see you at home and we'll all go to the circus?'
'Sounds great,' Harriet smiled.
'O.k, it's a date,' Greg said and retreated down the corridor a lot faster than Harriet had walked up it, feeling embarrassed that he had said that. It was such a corny line. Also, he didn't want to see her face after he had said it.
Harriet smiled to herself as she left Grissom's office and headed back up to the break room to get Jake and Rick. Mission accomplished. She just hoped Greg wouldn't mind her interfering. Turning into the break room she was shocked to find Jake crying as Rick was talking to him.
'What's wrong?' she asked, walking over to him and picking him up.
'Nothing, I'm just tired,' Jake said after a quick look at his father.
She felt uneasy at his response. She hadn't known him properly for long but she knew him well enough to know that he didn't admit it when he was tired.
'Let's just get him home,' Rick said. 'His sleep pattern has been messed up a bit, that's all that's wrong.'
Harriet nodded and the three of them headed out of the break room to go back home.
A/N - yay no more angst I promise it's all lighthearted and happy happy from here onwards. We are nearly coming to the end. I hope everyone has enjoyed what I've written. I was really nervous about posting this because I've never written a CSI fic before so I appreciate you reading this far and leaving any reviews you want to, good or bad but please don't be too mean. Thank you and on to the circus!