Leia sat down at her computer, feeling alternately frustrated and confused. What in the galaxy was Luke up to this time? She loved her brother, but sometimes his actions were so puzzling. And this latest… this had to be the strangest.
It had been a year since the Battle of Endor. A year since she had learned that Luke was her brother… and Darth Vader her father. Since then, they had only shared that information with a select few – Han, Chewie, Wedge Antilles, Mon Mothma – and all those confidants were sworn to secrecy. If word leaked out that two of the most respected heroes of the Alliance were children of the most hated and feared leader of the Empire, it could shake the trust the galaxy had placed in the New Republic.
It had shaken Leia as well to know that she was the daughter of the very man who had caused her so much pain. The knowledge that her loyal friend was also family had softened the blow, but she was still reeling from that revelation. How could her father be the man she so hated?
But Luke harbored no anger or hatred toward Vader. He had somehow found the strength to forgive the man and accept him as his father. And he was constantly urging Leia to do the same.
"How can I forgive him?" she had argued. "He's a monster, Luke!"
"Darth Vader was a monster," Luke had corrected. "But Anakin Skywalker died to save me from the Emperor. I choose to honor the memory of the latter."
She couldn't understand it. Vader had hurt Luke as much, if not more, than he had hurt Leia. Yet Luke not only no longer hated the man, he had spearheaded a private campaign to encourage those close to him to let go of their own hatred. It was as if learning Vader was his father had completely reversed his feelings toward him.
Maybe Luke's lifelong desire to know his father had been a factor in that change of heart. Or maybe it was his Jedi training, his conditioning to avoid anger and aggression at all costs.
Or maybe it was this odd disk he had given her.
"It's a copy of a computer game," he had explained. "But it's one of the strangest games I've ever seen."
Well, at least that much was true. Though Leia had yet to get past the question-and-answer screen with Grundy the golem, she had to agree that this program was rather… unorthodox.
"I'm not sure exactly how it works," Luke had gone on. "But there's something about the game that helps people come to terms with their personal issues. It helped me cope after Bespin. Maybe it can help you."
That comment had nearly made Leia throw the disk at him. "Do you honestly think I'm so bitter that I need some silly anger-management therapy to get over it?"
Bless her brother for not firing off a scathing retort of his own, though surely he'd had every right to.
"Play the game, Leia," he'd urged with a mysterious smile.
So here she was, sitting in front of her personal computer, trying to work up the nerve to actually begin playing the game.
"You ready out there?" chirped the graphic on the screen, a depiction of a tiny man. "If I stand here much longer my legs are going to cramp up…"
She rolled her eyes. Whoever programmed this game needed some lessons in common courtesy.
I'M READY, she typed. SHOW ME THE COMPANION LIST.
"Gotcha," he barked, pulling up a scroll.
She leaned forward to scan the names – Goody Goblin, Horace Centaur, Marrow Bones, Jenny Elf, Nada Naga, and Ana…
Wait. That last name had abruptly changed. Right before her eyes it shifted from Ana-something to Becca Weredragon. Perhaps the game altered the list at random intervals. Or perhaps this was a networked game, and a player somewhere else had just selected whoever-it-was as their Companion. At any rate, he or she was no longer available for Leia to choose.
She considered a moment, then selected the name of Jenny Elf. Luke had highly recommended her as a Companion choice, describing her as logical, compassionate, and highly optimistic, as well as having a means to locate almost anything.
A petite girl with pointed ears and an orange cat in her arms stepped onto the screen. "Thanks, Grundy," she told the golem. "I'll take it from here."
Grundy sighed and walked offscreen.
"Hello, Player!" Jenny greeted brightly. "I'm Jenny Elf, and this is Sammy." She indicated the cat. "He can find anything except home. May I ask your name?"
LEIA ORGANA.
"Hello, Leia, and welcome to the game." She smiled. "Before we go on, there are a few things we need to do. First of all, you need to refocus your eyes."
Well, this was new. AND HOW DO I DO THAT?
"See those two dots at the top of the screen?" she inquired, pointing up. "They'll become three when you've got the right focus. Refocusing your eyes is important, because it will let us see each other as rounded images instead of flat."
Leia obeyed, locating the dots and letting her eyes slide in and out of focus until the dots separated into three. Instantly the scenery within the game – a dense jungle – stood out in sharp three-dimensional detail.
"That's much better," Jenny told her. "Now for the next step. I know this is going to sound strange, but you need to suspend your disbelief in Xanth."
She blinked, startled. Had she heard that correctly?
"That's the only way you can truly come to appreciate Xanth. But if you can't… well, we can still play and win the game; it just won't be as much fun."
Leia thought about that a moment, then decided what Jenny really meant was that, in order to get the most out of the game, you had to be totally immersed in its storyline. Well, most of that would depend on the game – the quality of the graphics and plot, the level of its challenges, and other factors. She would certainly give the game a chance, though. After all, she'd cleared her schedule for the day to humor Luke and give this strange game a try.
I'LL TRY, she typed. IT MAY TAKE A LITTLE WHILE, THOUGH.
"That's just fine," Jenny replied reassuringly. "Don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately. Most first-time Players don't believe right away." She motioned for Leia to follow. "Let's go find the prize."
The images on the screen flowed by, giving the illusion that Leia was truly walking deeper into the jungle with Jenny. She couldn't help but admire the realism of this game. Though she had yet to see how Luke could claim it had therapeutic qualities…
WHERE IS THIS… PRIZE LOCATED?
"No one really knows, except the Good Magician," Jenny replied. "My suggestion is that we find him and ask him to tell us. But it's your choice, of course."
YOUR SUGGESTION'S AS GOOD AS ANY. WHERE DOES THE GOOD MAGICIAN LIVE?
"Most paths in Xanth eventually lead to him. But the game forbids us from using any paths that are enchanted to be safe from danger. We're required to face Xanth's dangers, such as monsters, obstacles, and puzzles."
That made no sense – why would the game designers program paths that were off-limits to Players? Maybe she had to win this round, and that victory would unlock some of the "safe" paths for future use.
WHERE'S THE NEAREST GAME-APPROVED PATH?
She set the cat down. "You heard her, Sammy! Find the nearest game-approved path!"
Sammy bolted, and Jenny ran after him. The screen followed.
WHERE'S THIS XANTH WORLD LOCATED? Leia asked. As long as there was a lag in the action, she might as well learn the back story of the game.
"I'm… not sure," Jenny panted as she ran. "I'm not… native to Xanth… Sammy and I… came here… by accident…"
SO YOU'RE SHIPWRECKED? DID YOUR STAR CRUISER CRASH HERE?
"You can't… get to Xanth… by starship…" Jenny puffed. "Most people… fall in by accident…"
Sammy halted, settled back on his haunches, and set to grooming his chest fur. Before them was a path formed from wooden planks set into the ground. Leia smiled wistfully – boardwalks had been a quaint and charming sight in some of the older sections of Alderaan. Maybe Xanth wasn't so strange after all…
The boards shuddered, then began leapfrogging forward.
"Whoa!" yelped Jenny, backing away. "A boardwalk!"
I KNOW WHAT A BOARDWALK IS. WHY IS IT MOVING?
"Things work differently in Xanth," Jenny explained. "Puns are common here, so a boardwalk actually walks… sort of."
She couldn't help it – she started giggling.
"I know it might seem funny to you," Jenny said as if she could hear Leia's laughter through the screen. "But in Xanth puns are serious business."
SORRY, Leia typed, still chuckling. IT JUST SEEMS SO STRANGE TO ME.
"That's okay," Jenny replied. "I thought it was weird when I first got here. But you get used to it quickly, and once you learn how things work, you can use them to your advantage…"
"Hey!"
Jenny whirled. "Uh-oh."
WHAT IS IT?
"We have company."
Three figures were standing in the clearing with them – humanoid beings with strange items growing from where their necks and heads should be. Although they lacked faces, they still seemed to wear expressions of surprise.
"Get out of here!" snapped the first, who had a chair sprouting from between his shoulders. "This is a private meeting!"
"Calm down, old friend," the second told the chair-man in a placatory tone. "They may be able to help us." This being had what looked like a parcel, complete with mailing address and postage, emerging from his shirt collar.
"What are your names, and what is your business?" asked the third, whose head had been replaced with a white paper carton.
"I'm Jenny Elf, and these are my friends Sammy Cat and Leia Organa," Jenny replied. "I'm leading Leia through a game, and we need to get down this path to see the Good Magician."
"If you haven't noticed, no one's going down this path until we can get it settled down," the chair-man informed them. "Some troublemaking goblins came along and riled up the boardwalk."
"It won't stop walking in place," fretted the mail-man. "Neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor hail nor dark of night can keep my people from their appointed rounds, but apparently a skittish boardwalk does the trick."
"We've been having a board meeting to discuss how to keep the boardwalk from moving," the milk-man added. "It's not very thrilling, but you're welcome to join us. We can use all the ideas we can get."
WE'LL JOIN, Leia told him. Evidently this was their first puzzle of the game – to stop the boardwalk from moving so they could progress down the path.
"Sit down on the couch potato," the chair-man offered, gesturing toward a lumpy brown couch-shaped tuber nearby. "Offer any suggestions you may have."
Jenny had a seat, and the milk-man and mail-man sat down on either side of her. The chair-man remained standing, obviously in charge of the meeting.
"Okay, we've already ruled out reverse wood, glue, and ropes," the chair-man said. "Any other ideas?"
"We can try burning the boards and replacing them with new ones," the milk-man suggested. "We have plenty of wood…"
"The boardwalk'll run for it the minute you approach it with fire," the mail-man put in. "Besides, you got an ax?"
"All right, you big square, YOU think of something!" the milk-man retorted.
"You can keep a cobble-stone path in place by playing rock music to soothe it," the mail-man offered. "Perhaps music can calm the boardwalk down…"
"Rocks like rock music, true," the chair-man replied. "And a path made of steel – don't laugh, they're common in Mundania – likes heavy metal. But I've never heard of wood music."
Jenny remained silent. Was she at a loss for ideas? Or was she deferring to her Player? The latter made more sense. After all, it was up to Leia to solve the challenges and win the game; Jenny was just a guide.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST NAIL THE BOARDS DOWN?
"We don't have any nails handy," the milk-man replied.
"Or hammers," the chair-man added.
YOU CAN USE A ROCK TO POUND A NAIL IN, she replied. AS FOR NAILS… She thought a few minutes, then smiled to herself. In this land of puns, perhaps a pun could be the answer. WHAT ABOUT FINGERNAILS?
"Fingernails?" repeated the milk-man, the chair-man, and Jenny.
"Hey," the mail-man mused, "it just might work." He pulled a set of clippers from his pocket and began trimming his fingernails. The instant the clippings fell to the ground, they became long, sharp, ivory-colored spikes.
"Now this should have been obvious," the chair-man muttered as he cut his own nails. "Why didn't we think of this before?"
Jenny winked at Leia before pulling a small knife from her pack to add to the nail pile. Within minutes they had a good-sized pile of fingernails, toenails, and even a hangnail or two.
"Now for the boardwalk," the milk-man said, picking up a nail and a rock and going for the path.
The board nearest the milk-man shuddered as if in fear and tried to bound away, but Sammy pounced on it with all his weight, keeping it still while the milk-man nailed it down. Jenny and the others joined in, some holding the boards down, others fastening them securely to the path. Leia could only watch, though she couldn't help but wonder at the complete absurdity of this game. Fingernails and boardwalks! What a quirky game, even for a fantasy!
At last the boardwalk was secured, and the three men applauded eagerly.
"Thank you, travelers!" the mail-man exclaimed. "We are indebted to you!"
"Won't you stay awhile?" asked the chair-man. "The meeting's adjourned, but we have plenty of refreshments…"
"We're on our way to the Good Magician's castle," Jenny replied. "We're looking for something, and only he can help us find it. Sorry, but we have to go."
"Then safe journey," bade the milk-man. "And good luck facing the Magician's trials."
WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT? asked Leia as they left the three men and continued down the newly repaired path.
"To get into the Good Magician's castle, you have to solve three challenges," Jenny replied. "He knows the answer to any question you can ask, but so many people started coming to him with trivial questions that he started charging people a year of service to receive an answer. People still kept coming and bothering him, so he implemented the challenges. Now only those questions serious enough to merit his attention reach him."
That made sense. AND WE WILL HAVE TO FACE THOSE TRIALS?
"Yup. But we don't have to serve the year of service, since we're playing the game."
I SEE. She thought a moment, trying to put her thoughts into diplomatic terms. IS ALL XANTH THIS… UNIQUE?
"You mean 'strange?'" asked Jenny, smiling. "You can say it. No, not all of it's this strange."
That was some relief. At least future challenges would prove to be a little less bewildering…
"Much of it is a lot more bizarre, especially further south where the Good Magician lives," Jenny went on, oblivious to Leia's sigh of relief. "What we just saw was actually pretty tame compared to the rest of Xanth."
OH, she typed, suddenly very unsure about all this.
"Don't worry," Jenny said reassuringly. "I'll explain everything for you. Yes, Xanth's a little mind-boggling to the uninitiated, but at least you'll have a guide to show you the way."
That made her feel somewhat better. But she did feel a twinge of sympathy for Jenny – falling into this screwball world by accident, guideless, having to learn this world's quirks and dangers by trial and error… it was a wonder her optimism survived the ordeal intact.
She caught herself. Why was she assigning emotions and personality to a computer program? This game was certainly addictive – it was already drawing her into the plights of its characters.
Shaking her head, she ordered Jenny onward. She'd continue to play, of only to find out just what method lurked behind this game's madness.