Part VI – Interface
It had been a bad idea, Leia now realized, to keep their party walking all night. It had only served to get them in trouble.
Driven by the urgent desire to escape Xanth, she and Fett had pushed Jenny, Mentia, and Sammy onward for a good half the night. When Jenny had finally pleaded for a break and Sammy had adamantly refused to go a step further, they had dragged themselves, exhausted and filthy, into a nearby cave to spend the rest of the night. Everyone had been so tired that even the cold stone floor of the cavern couldn't hamper their sleep.
But upon awakening, they discovered they had trespassed into the lair of a dangerous creature, one that had no intention of letting them go.
INTRUDERS AWAKEN.
Leia had already been half-awake at this point, puzzled at the sight of a giant glowing screen, but the instant those words appeared on said screen all traces of sleep fled. Fett and Jenny got to their feet, groaning and sore from sleeping on rock all night. Mentia, who had been lurking in a corner in the form of a puff of smoke, assumed human form in an instant.
IDENTIFY YOURSELVES, the screen demanded.
"Better do as he says," Jenny advised, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's Com Pewter, the most evil machine in Xanth. He has the power to manipulate reality in this cave."
Leia had her doubts – after all, she classified Vader as an evil machine of sorts, yet Jenny seemed to regard him as a friend and hero – but she had to concede that no good could come from crossing this unlikely creature. "I'm Leia Organa. This is Jenny Elf, my Companion."
WELCOME, PLAYER LEIA. I HAVE MET COMPANION JENNY ONCE BEFORE. WHO ARE THE OTHERS?
"Boba Fett and Demoness Mentia," Jenny replied. "Oh, and Sammy Cat."
Fett was busy peeling some sort of wooden braces from his legs, something Leia hadn't noticed until now. He seemed to be pointedly ignoring Com Pewter, as if dismissing the machine could make it not exist.
BOUNTY HUNTER ADDRESSES COM PEWTER WITH THE PROPER RESPECT.
Fett sprang to his feet, grunting a little from lingering pain, and snapped to a salute. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Com Pewter."
"Hey!" exclaimed Jenny. "Do you have permission to participate in the game?"
The screen flickered as if Com Pewter were enjoying a laugh. IF I DID, I COULDN'T TELL YOU, NOW COULD I?
"Oh boy," Jenny moaned. "Com Pewter's a notorious meddler. He likes nothing better than to interfere in the lives of other creatures and toy with them. He used to be good – the Zombie Master's daughter reprogrammed him – but he's evil again for the game's purposes."
"In that case, I say we leave…" Leia began.
"It's not as simple as that," Jenny said uneasily.
"What do you mean?" Fett demanded.
CAVE-IN BLOCKS PASSAGE IN AND OUT OF CAVE.
The tunnel leading out of Com Pewter's cave shuddered and collapsed in a cloud of dust.
"Hey, play nice, flat-face!" Mentia demanded.
DEMONESS ASSUMES FORM OF QUIET ROCK.
Mentia's body morphed into a lump of stone.
GAME PLAYERS, IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, Com Pewter told them, seeming to smile even though he had no facial features. IT IS GOOD TO FINALLY MEET A FEW CREATURES IN XANTH THAT KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT MY KIND. I COULD USE YOUR SERVICES BEFORE YOU DEPART.
"What for?" asked Leia warily.
CRYPTOGRAPHY.
"What kind of giraffe?" asked Jenny.
CRYPTOGRAPHY, ELF CHILD, the machine repeated. THE STUDY OF CODE. SURELY ONE OR THE OTHER OF YOU PLAYERS KNOW ABOUT COM-PEWTER CODE.
Fett nodded. "I deal with codes and ciphers on occasion."
VERY GOOD. YOU WILL HELP ME…
"Don't do it!" Mentia shouted, becoming human again, terror on her face for perhaps the first time in her twisted life. "It's a trick!"
DEMONESS SHUTS HER TRAP.
Mentia's mouth took on the shape of a mousetrap and snapped shut.
BETTER. FETT, I NEED YOU TO FIND THE SOLUTION TO THIS CODE.
A random series of letters and numbers appeared on the screen. Fett took a step closer and studied the string of characters. "It will take some time to find a pattern…" he began.
"Don't solve it for him!" Mentia cried, another mouth appearing on her forehead. "I know that code, and it's…"
BLABBERMOUTH DEMONESS GOES INTO STASIS.
Mentia fuzzed into vapor.
BOUNTY HUNTER IGNORES CRAZED DEMONESS AND FINDS SOLUTION TO CODE.
Fett seemed deep in thought as he scrutinized the code. Leia wondered just what the solution could be – and why the demoness seemed so worked up over it.
"Um, Fett?" Jenny said unsurely. "I'm not your Companion, but… if Mentia says not to solve the code, maybe there's a reason…"
ELF GIRL OPENS HER MOUTH TO SAY MORE, BUT FINDS HER TONGUE HAS GONE NUMB.
The rest of Jenny's sentence came out in a senseless babble, and she clapped her hands over her lips.
"Jenny, are you okay?" asked Leia.
She nodded.
Mentia, seeing that all her attempts to talk sense into Fett were being thwarted, interrupted Fett's attempt to decipher the code by assuming the form of a long-eared equine creature – and kicking the hunter squarely in the seat of the pants. Startled, he tumbled forward.
"Ow!" Fett yelped, more out of surprise than actual pain, as he picked himself up off the ground. "What was that for, you pain in the ass?"
"I keep trying to tell you!" Mentia growled, snapping out of ass form and back into human form. "That's a code to hack into the Interface!"
"The what?" asked Leia.
DEMONESS TURNS INTO A TOAD-STOOL.
Mentia vanished, to be replaced by a fist-sized fungus on which a plump toad perched, glaring at Com Pewter with bulging eyes.
"The Interface separates Xanth from Mundania," Jenny explained. "Sometimes there are breaks in the Interface, where people can come into Xanth from Mundania or other worlds – like the World of Two Moons or the Galaxy Far, Far Away. Sometimes the Interface can be changed to accommodate other factors, like the 'Companions of Xanth' game or the Time of No Magic…"
ELF GIRL'S MOUTH FILLS WITH SOAP.
Jenny coughed and gagged, bubbles oozing from the corners of her mouth. Leia hastily wiped her lips with a corner of her dress, wishing this cave had a spring or pool inside so her Companion could rinse her mouth.
Mentia became human again and picked up where Jenny left off. "If anyone who's not supposed to – like SOME machines I could mention but won't even though their initials are C.P. – dinks around with the Interface…"
DEMONESS FINDS HERSELF SURROUNDED BY GOLDEN SILENCE.
A metallic gold mist encircled Mentia, and whatever she had to say was muffled by the fog. Her lips continued to move angrily, however, like a hologram that had been recorded without sound. The sight of the demoness talking animatedly but soundlessly would have been pretty amusing had the circumstances not been so bizarre.
"…plays with the Interface," Jenny continued, finally spitting out the last of the soap, "they can cause new holes in the Interface or even bring it down entirely…"
ELF GIRL LOSES VOICE.
There was a strange plink, like a coin striking the floor, and Jenny made a frustrated face as she got to her hands and knees and went looking for her voice.
"…and bringing down the Interface can let all Mundania loose on Xanth!" Mentia shrieked, waving away the last of the silence. "And Mundanians can be barbarians, I can tell you…"
"…and they don't appreciate magic," Jenny finished, finding her voice in a dark corner just in time to conclude her and Mentia's explanation.
Leia understood – sort of. "So what you're telling me is that Com Pewter wants to break into the Interface and bring it down."
"Yeah, that's about the gist of it," Mentia replied.
"Why?" demanded Fett. "Why would he want to destroy his own world?"
XANTH CANNOT BE DESTROYED BY MERE MUNDANIANS, Com Pewter countered fiercely. BESIDES, WHY SHOULD ONLY A CHOSEN FEW GET TO KNOW XANTH? WHY NOT LET ALL MUNDANIA SEE THIS LAND? WHY NOT BRING DOWN THE BARRIER AND LET THE TWO WORLDS BE ONE? MY ASSOCIATE AND I WILL BRING A NEW ERA OF PROSPERITY TO XANTH…
"Your associate?" repeated Fett, intrigued. "Who would that be?"
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT CRYPTOGRAPHY, AND WILL SOON HAVE THE MEANS TO HACK INTO THE INTERFACE. ALL HE NEEDS IS THE FINAL ENTRY CODE… AND FETT WILL PROVIDE IT.
"Fett, don't!" shouted Jenny.
BOUNTY HUNTER SOLVES ENTRY CODE.
Com Pewter's magic was too strong. As long as Fett was in the cave, he couldn't disobey. He stared at the code, muttering to himself, all the while clenching his fists in anger.
Both Jenny and Mentia wore expressions of fear, and Leia couldn't blame them. To know that someone sought to bring untold destruction upon their world…
/Alderaan./ Another world lost to a madman's whim. Another world destroyed for a sick, selfish purpose. And Xanth could face just such a fate if Com Pewter had his way. However good his "associate's" intentions were, Com Pewter's only objective was to inflict damage upon Xanth for his own sadistic pleasure. Small wonder he had agreed to become evil again for the game's purposes – it gave him an excuse to get involved in this madness.
Leia bent down, picked up as big a rock as she could throw, and flung it at the screen.
ROCK BECOMES A HARMLESS PILLOW.
The cushion bounced harmlessly from the screen.
GOOD TRY, HUMAN WOMAN, BUT FOR NAUGHT. DON'T TRY THAT AGAIN, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO…
The stones blocking the passageway shifted alarmingly, as if something huge was trying to work its way through. A draconine head broke through, eyes aflame with anger. And clinging to its neck…
"Luke!"
Luke slid down from the dragon-Anakin's neck and rushed forward, embracing his sister.
"Luke, you're all right," she murmured, relieved to see him again.
"So are you," he replied, obviously equally relieved. "When Father and I saw your tracks leading here, we feared the worst."
Anakin shoved aside the last of the rock before returning to his human form. "Com Pewter. We meet again."
The screen blipped in surprise, obliterating the code. Fett shook his head, free from Com Pewter's spell, and he stepped away to let Anakin face the machine.
RUNNING FACIAL SCAN… NO MATCH. RUNNING VOICE SCAN… NO MATCH. STAND BY FOR RETINAL SCAN… DARTH VADER. YOU HAVE CERTAINLY CHANGED SINCE YOU DEFEATED ME LAST TIME.
Vader had defeated Com Pewter? How had he managed that?
"Let my daughter and associate go," Anakin ordered calmly. "Their Companions as well. You have no business forcing them to further your own twisted ends."
Com Pewter's screen flickered in laughter. I'M A GAME CHALLENGE, FOOL. THEY HAVE TO GET BY ME FIRST. AND THIS TIME, YOU CAN'T INTERFERE. YOU'RE A COMPANION, REMEMBER? COMPANIONS CAN'T INTEFERE WITH MY CHALLENGES.
"Very well. Shall it be another contest of riddles?"
NO. THIS SHALL BE A CONTEST OF BEASTS. WE WILL PIT MONSTERS AGAINST EACH OTHER. MY MONSTER SHALL GUARD THE EXIT TO THE CAVE, AND YOUR MONSTER WILL HAVE TO DEFEAT IT TO GET PAST. IF YOU CAN FIND A MONSTER THAT IS ABLE TO DEFEAT ALL MY MONSTERS, YOU WIN.
"And if we lose?" asked Leia, not sure she wanted an answer.
THEN YOU FIGURE OUT THE SOLUTION TO THE INTERFACE CODE.
Luke took a deep breath. "All right. Here goes nothing."
"Wrong, Skywalker," Mentia told him. "Here goes everything."
Luke faced the entrance to the cave. "Dragon!"
Instantly a dragon appeared, its scales gleaming a deep blue-green, eyes glittering malevolently. It snorted, smoke rings pluming from its nostrils, and eyed the exit.
BASILISK.
A large lizard with a fiery red crest popped into existence just inside the doorway.
"Leia, don't look!" Jenny cried. "Its gaze will kill you!"
At the last second Leia looked away. The dragon gave a dry, sick rasp and sank to the ground like a punctured balloon. Its body vanished.
"Well, that didn't work," Mentia noted. "Any other ideas?"
"A blind warrior, bearing a mirror," Leia suggested. Hopefully the basilisk wasn't immune to its own gaze…
A young man, garbed in armor and with milky white eyes, appeared, clutching a mirror in his hands. The basilisk coughed once and toppled to its side, then disappeared as the dragon had.
HARPY.
A filthy, ugly, vicious-looking bird with a woman's head burst out of the tunnel, screaming in rage. She dove upon the warrior and tore him to shreds with her claws, the pieces vanishing.
"Roc!" Fett declared.
The enormous bird took up nearly half the cavern, and with a snap of its beak it devoured the harpy, though it looked disgusted as it did so.
ROCK STAR.
A pentagram, carved from solid stone that glittered with every color imaginable and emitting a loud, rowdy song, appeared on the floor of the cavern. The roc stared, transfixed, at the object.
"What's a rock star?" asked Leia.
"It's very, very popular," Jenny told her. "People will come from miles around to see a rock star and listen to its music – though I don't really care for rock music. Rocs, especially, love rock stars. But some people are so obsessed with rock stars that they'll waste away watching them and fantasizing about them."
Even as Jenny spoke the roc's feathers drooped and fell to the cavern floor. Before their eyes it seemed to wither away to nothing. The rock star pulsed with music, uncaring, even as its admirer vanished into thin air.
"Hmmm." Luke seemed deep in thought. "Something to fight a rock star…" He turned to Com Pewter. "Permission to confer with my Companion."
GRANTED.
Luke turned to Anakin, and they spoke in hushed tones. Leia wondered just what sort of advice Anakin was giving. Then Luke turned to face the rock star, an amused expression on his face.
"A country-western star."
"What?" Leia asked, puzzled.
"Stars from the western country play music as well, though their fans aren't quite as obsessed and given to self-destruction as rock-star fans," Jenny told her. "And many rock star fans hate country-western stars and their music"
Another pentagram appeared, this one gleaming gold and pouring out music that was just as rowdy as the rock star's music but, strangely, sounded less grating and metallic. The rock star's song tapered off with a disgusted groan, and the star shattered into pieces.
OGRE.
A hideous giant bellowed its rage, both at being faced with a country-western star and at having to stoop to fit in Com Pewter's cave. It raised its club and smashed the star flat. The song broke off with a discordant twang.
"Now what?" asked Fett.
"Don't be so cynical," Mentia chided. "Ogres aren't invincible."
He didn't seem convinced, but he didn't argue. "Tangle tree."
A massive tree with tentacle-like branches burst from the stone floor, grasping the ogre in its limbs. After a few flailing moments, the ogre was crushed.
AGENT ORANGE.
A strange man appeared, but before Leia could get a good look at him the tangle tree withered away to nothing.
"Agent Orange's talent is killing plants," Jenny explained. "But I don't think he affects animals… at least, he's not supposed to…"
"All the same… Com Pewter, permission to confer with my Companion."
GRANTED.
She turned to Jenny. "What in Xanth isn't an animal or a plant but can defeat Agent Orange?"
"Oh, lots of things! Inanimate objects have distinct personalities in Xanth. Ass-ass-in droids, for example, are downright nasty, as are mood swings, iron maidens, Fracto the Cloud King…"
Leia turned to Agent Orange. "Iron maiden."
A woman made entirely of metal appeared, wearing an innocent expression – and clothes that were covered with long, sharp spikes. Agent Orange grinned and reached forward to embrace the maiden, but he forgot entirely about the spikes and was impaled.
GARGOYLE.
A grotesque winged beast made of stone loped into the canyon. It eyed the iron maiden with eternally bulging eyes and spat a stream of water at her. The maiden shrieked as she flaked away to rust.
"Troop of goblins," Fett ordered.
A party of ugly purple men swarmed over the gargoyle and pounded it to dust with their clubs.
GRIFFON.
A bizarre creature with a sand panther's body and a bird-of-prey's head and wings ripped indiscriminately at the goblins with beak and claw, devouring some and simply killing others.
"George Bush," Luke put in.
Another plant sprouted from the stone floor, this time a bush that fired tiny missiles at the griffon. The beast screamed as the projectiles impacted, setting its fur and feathers on fire. The assault continued until the griffon collapsed, scorched and blasted to death.
EYE RACK.
A display rack of some kind appeared, with a wide array of eyes sitting on its shelves like so many gemstones for sale. These eyes blasted fire at the George Bush, and the bush, having no exit strategy, was soon blown to bits.
Fett was silent a long time. He slid a hand into his belt pouch, withdrew something, and placed it against his forehead. From what Leia could see, it looked like nothing more than a piece of fuzz…
"Thyme," Fett said at last.
A plant appeared.
"Oh boy," Jenny breathed. "Fett chose a doozy. Thyme is one of the most powerful plants in Xanth – and it defeats anything that challenges it in the end."
True to Jenny's word, the eye rack fixed its fiery gaze on the plant, and instantly its every movement seemed to slow down until it seemed frozen in thyme – er, time.
NO! blasted Com Pewter, his screen flashing crimson. I DECLARE A FOUL!
"No foul, Com Pewter," Anakin replied coldly. "Fett worked without aid from a Companion or anyone else. He defeated you fairly."
The screen flickered with a maelstrom of colors, and hot vapor issued in white jets from behind the screen.
"Let's go while he blows off steam," Mentia suggested.
Leia was more than happy to leave the cave, sidestepping the frozen eye rack on the way.
Break…
Jenny had imagined that the reunion between Luke and his sister would be a happy affair. But it turned out she was sorely mistaken.
When they reached the next available campsite, Leia pulled her brother aside for a little "discussion." The "discussion" became more and more heated as it went on, and though the others did their best to ignore it, it was getting pretty difficult.
Anakin sighed gustily as he finished lighting the fire. "Poor Leia."
"Poor Leia?" repeated Mentia, agape. "I'd say poor Luke. Leia's carrying on like a friggin' harpy over there. What's she got against you anyhow?"
"I do not have the most immaculate of pasts," Anakin replied vaguely, sitting down.
"That's an understatement," muttered Fett as he dumped a load of firewood next to one of the tents.
"But you're not a Dark Lord anymore," Jenny pointed out. "You're Anakin Skywalker. Doesn't she see that? And besides, you're her father…"
Anakin shook his head. "Leia was raised by a man named Bail Organa. He is her father, not I. I have done nothing to deserve that title." He looked away. "I captured Leia once… and tortured her nearly to death in an attempt to make her betray the location of the Rebellion. She can never forgive me for that."
Jenny winced. Torture? She hadn't realized he'd been so brutal when he'd been a Sith. Something told her that she'd been extraordinarily lucky to see a milder version of him when he'd played the game last time.
Another snippet of "discussion" drifted toward them.
"You could have at least told me HE was here!"
"Look, Leia, I had no idea…"
"Was this your idea of a joke? Because if it is, it's not funny…"
"Leia, no one forced you to play. And besides, I saw him die a year ago. How was I supposed to know he'd come here?"
Jenny stood. "I'm going to talk to Leia."
Anakin frowned. "I wouldn't interfere, Jenny."
"I'm her Companion," Jenny pointed out. "It's my job to make sure she acts sensibly in Xanth."
"Pah, who wants to act sensibly?" snorted Mentia.
Jenny left Anakin, Metria, and Fett to finish setting up camp and went into the woods nearby, where Luke and Leia were still arguing.
"Luke, can I talk to Leia for a minute?"
"Huh? Oh sure, go ahead." He went back to camp, looking much relieved that someone else would be taking the heat now.
"Jenny, I want to quit the game," Leia told her quickly. "Luke said you knew the way to release me from the game, and I want to take it. I'm not spending another minute here."
Jenny's first impulse was to play dumb and say she had no idea what Luke was talking about, but that would only get her in trouble – after all, she wasn't a False Companion. "I do know the way out, Leia. But first, can I talk to you?"
She sighed. "Make it quick."
Jenny pointed back at Anakin. "I know you don't know Anakin very well, and he told me you went through some awful stuff while he was still Vader. But before you decide to leave Xanth just because he's in it, why don't you try to get to know him? He's your father, after all…"
"I don't want to get to know him." Her face filled with an incredible sadness. "Jenny, my father was Bail Organa. Anakin may have conceived me, but the man who raised me is the one I consider my father. Anakin can never replace him."
"He doesn't have to. You can have room in your life for two fathers, can't you?"
"But Jenny, you don't know him either! You don't know everything he did as Darth Vader…"
"I don't know everything he ever did as Darth Vader," Jenny countered. "But I know of some. I know he saved my life when I almost fell into a wormhole. I know he defeated Com Pewter in a contest of riddles to free us from his wrath. I know he shed tears when he thought Luke had drowned in a flash flood, and I know he did everything in his power to get Luke breathing again when we discovered he had a pulse. I know he rescued a unicorn woman from a forget whorl and a flock of harpies and helped restore her memory, and I know he helped a centaur find his true love. I know he defeated the evil Magician Darius in battle and faced down an ogre with no thought for his own safety. I know he has dreams and fears the same as everyone else." She smiled at Leia. "I don't know what else he did, but in my mind, if he can do all those good things, he can't be all bad."
Leia just stared.
"Give him a trial run," Jenny encouraged. "And watch him be a Companion to Luke. I think you'll find he's a loyal Companion, a heroic man, and a repentant father. Before you simply up and leave Xanth, give him a chance to be a father again."
She looked at Anakin, then at Jenny. With a sigh she conceded.
"I'll give it one more day," she said resignedly. "Then you'll send me back."
"Deal," Jenny agreed, shaking Leia's hand.
Luke, who'd eavesdropped somewhat on the conversation, smiled.