Part IX – Crypt Keeper
Luke blinked, puzzled. What had just happened? Where were they? The last thing he remembered was that great circle of light… something Mentia had called "a hole in the Interface"…though what she meant by that he had no idea…
He sat up and had a look around. He was in a bedroom, lying on a soft bed and surrounded by pale blue walls. The door stood open, and from the adjacent room came the sound of music and the smell of baked goods. His mouth watered – it had been awhile since he'd eaten, and the last thing he'd consumed had ended up on the ground anyhow, thanks to Phillipa. Not that she could help it, being part basilisk…
The next room was a living room, and it was a disaster area. Books and papers were strewn everywhere, and someone had dropped their purse, shoes, and yesterday's worn clothes on the couch. The music – a pleasant ballad that pleaded "Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone" – came from a nearby stereo system that was surrounded by circular datadisks that had somehow gotten separated from their cases. He smirked. If Aunt Beru had ever gotten a glimpse of this house, she would have freaked out.
He didn't like to think of himself as the nosy type, but he had a look at the books on the floor anyhow. Someone was researching, that much was certain, for many of the books concerned the same topic – Book of Revelations From A to Z, Understanding the Book of Revelations, From Eden To Armageddon, Prophetic Warnings of the Last Days, Behold I Come Quickly, and 50 Signs and Warnings of the Times, to name a few. There were a few dissimilar books that stood out – Demons Don't Dream, The Tower of Air, and Dragon On a Pedestal – but the majority seemed to be about the end of the world.
/Whoever lives here must be deeply religious, extremely paranoid, or both/ Luke thought, stepping over the mess.
/None of the above, Luke, only concerned with writing a story/ came Anakin's reply. /Rise and shine, sleepyhead. You're about to miss breakfast./
/Where are we? And who's doing all this research/
/We're in Mundania. And Kenya's giving us an explanation./
The next room was a kitchen, where everyone else was helping themselves to freshly baked muffins, courtesy of their hostess. Anakin, Leia, Jenny, and Kenya sat around an oblong table eating, while Fett, who had obviously eaten away from the others earlier, was leafing through a stack of papers. Mentia, not needing to eat, amused herself with the various kitchen gadgets. Sammy sat on a counter with his face buried in a bowl of kitty chow, and Phillipa – how HAD the others managed to talk Kenya into letting her into the house? – stood in a corner, a few smears of red around her muzzle. Evidently, despite her equine shape, she was carnivorous.
"We thank you for your generosity, Kenya," Leia told her.
"No problem," she replied, giving Luke a polite wave. "Mom won't be happy about the missing steaks, but hey, how many times do you get to play hostess to a Xanthian crossbreed?"
"Hi Kenya," Luke greeted, sitting down and taking the muffin Jenny passed him. "How's life been treating you?"
"Not bad, not bad. Have the house to myself for the week. The rest of the family went to some cousin's wedding in Utah, and I had to work. But all to the good – I have more time to write the record of your exploits in Xanth for the Good Magician."
"So how is it that our magic still works here?" asked Jenny, taking a gulp of milk (which, odd as it seemed, was white instead of blue).
Kenya sliced a muffin in half and buttered a piece. "My best guess – which is only a guess, since the Good Magician never told me you'd actually drop by – is that, because I'm involved in Xanth affairs, the property my house sits on has become part of Xanth, at least temporarily. Not enough to pun-alize everything, but enough to make sure you're all comfortable here. If you had ended up anywhere else in Mundania, you would be magic-less."
"Ouch," noted Mentia as she pulled her head out of a food processor. "Demons exist only by magic. We were lucky."
"At least you were lucky," Anakin murmured under his breath, no doubt wishing she had landed on the other side of the property line and snuffed herself out of existence.
Fett looked up from the papers he was examining. "You know everything else about us, though. You know our exploits, even our thoughts as we traveled through Xanth. Why would you not know that we would end up here?"
Kenya shrugged. "I just get my information from the night and day mares. They normally just bring dreams, but lately they've been giving me the facts I need to record your story. Maybe they didn't inform me of this because I would know about it anyway, without their interference."
"Do you know how to get us back?" asked Phillipa. "I mean, we're not stranded here, are we?"
"The hole in the Interface is still there," Mentia said. "We can just fly back through it."
Leia winced. "An experience I don't want to relive."
"Going from Mundania to Xanth is a lot easier than going from Xanth to Mundania," Kenya assured her. "Trust me. I've been to both places. And believe me, some days I'd much rather be in Xanth. It seems strange, but Xanth oftentimes makes more sense than Mundania."
Jenny frowned. "If there's a hole in the Interface, the King of Xanth and Demon Grossclout need to be informed. The Magicians and demons like to keep an eye on all the gates and portals leading into Xanth."
"I have a feeling there's more to the breach in the Interface than meets the eye," Anakin added. "Few things in Xanth are random. A hole opening in the Interface right in our path must mean something."
"A plot device," Kenya replied. "An object or event that helps move the story along. The hole in the Interface sounds like a plot device to move you to your next challenge."
"A plot device?" Jenny repeated. "Fett found one of those. But I thought it was used to point your way."
Kenya paused, thinking a moment. Then she laughed. "Plot device… double meaning… Xanth keeps surprising me. The plot device must have two uses, then – pointing your way and leading you to the next event in your adventure." She shook her head. "I was wondering what kind of plot device I would need to introduce you to your adversary…"
"Adversary?" repeated Leia, looking up from her muffin.
Her laughter died. "I was wondering how you would be introduced to him. Wara Werecorn told you of Magician Darius last time… and I guess it's my responsibility to tell you about your foe."
Luke leaned forward a little, definitely interested. So the plot device had led them to Kenya, who would in turn direct them to their next challenge. Their quest for the prize wasn't as cut-and-dry as it first appeared – they had to face a villain first, just like last time.
"The enemy is called the Crypt Keeper," she went on. "And his personal mission is to bring down the Interface."
Phillipa snorted in surprise. "The Good Magician told me I'd face the Crypt Keeper!"
"He's usually right," Kenya replied. "Anyhow, the Crypt Keeper is working in league with Com Pewter to hack into the Interface and bring it down. It's his opinion that the worlds of Xanth and Mundania shouldn't be kept separate – he thinks everyone should enjoy the benefits of both worlds. He doesn't take into account that Xanth and Mundania are incompatible, that one will destroy the other if his mission succeeds. Personally, I don't want to see Mundania destroyed, but then again, I'd hate to see Xanth wiped out too."
"But why would he risk destroying Xanth, his own world?" wondered Luke.
"Because he's not of Xanth," Kenya replied. "He's Mundanian. He landed Xanth by accident years ago. And unlike most Mundanians, he came to Xanth with a talent – not a magic talent, but one that makes him dangerous nonetheless."
"Cryptography," Fett realized.
"Cryptography. The study of codes. He's a brilliant cryptographer, hence his title, the Crypt Keeper. If he can break into the code that makes up the Interface, he can alter it any way he pleases… or obliterate it entirely." She looked out the window, where the gaping rift in the Interface gleamed – odd, no one else in the neighborhood seemed to notice it. "This rift suddenly opening means that the Interface is weakening. New holes are probably forming as we speak."
Jenny gasped. "That's horrible!"
Luke stood. "Then we have no time to waste. We have to get back to Xanth and help strengthen the Interface. We can't let the Crypt Keeper…"
"Calm down, Luke," Leia told him. "We don't even know how to defeat the Crypt Keeper or repair the Interface."
"The author knows," Fett pointed out. "Ask her how to face the Crypt Keeper. After all, she seems to know everything else."
"Only the Good Magician knows everything, scrapheap," Phillipa shot back.
"Shut up, nag," Fett hissed.
"Both of you shut up," Luke ordered. "Let Kenya finish speaking."
"I'm done speaking," Kenya replied. "I've told you everything I can tell you."
"What!" screeched Mentia, dropping the toaster she'd been examining. "You're not gonna tell us how to defeat the Crypt Keeper!"
"Like I said, I can't tell you," Kenya replied, grimacing at the smashed toaster. "This challenge is yours to face. I'm forbidden from interfering. As it is, I'm probably in for it for telling you this much. This quest was put before you, not me, and it's you who have to use your wits to complete it, not me."
"Bantha poodoo," Fett snarled. "You're afraid. This Crypt Keeper has you cowed somehow. Or perhaps, since the two of you are Mundanian, you're in league…"
"Fett!" Anakin barked. "How in the galaxy can she be in league with the Crypt Keeper? She just got through saying she couldn't stand to see either Xanth or Mundania destroyed!"
"It could be a cover, a ruse," Fett countered. "She could be sending us straight into the heart of a trap."
Kenya sighed. She stuffed what was left of her muffin in her mouth, washed it down with some milk, and wiped her mouth.
"Do you guys know why I write about Xanth and the Star Wars universe?"
Everyone exchanged puzzled looks. "Um, no," Luke ventured.
"Because I'm a wimp, that's why. I know I could never live the adventures you do. I know I could never survive a day in either Xanth or your galaxy. I can barely figure out my home computer, let alone a hyperdrive or droid. I hate riddles, which is funny since Xanth's just one big riddle. I could never face the Emperor, or a dragon, or a droid army, or Com Pewter in real life. I'm a bookworm and writer, not an adventurer or hero. So the only way I can experience adventure in either of your realms is passively, through writing, through the characters.
"There's a price to pay for that, though. A writer can only get so involved in her story. If she inserts herself into the story, it's seen as a weird gimmick or the act of a bloated ego. If she creates a character meant to represent herself and inserts her into the story, the character's called a fake, a 'Mary Sue,' and the story loses its credibility. And seeing as a lot of people are going to be reading about your quest, both in Xanth and outside it, I can't get more involved than I have to. Heck, my readers are probably going to flame me about this scene anyhow."
"Then don't write it," suggested Jenny.
"I have to. Good Magician's orders. Everything about your quest has to be recorded. And I've already told you everything he's permitted me to tell. I can't tell you anything else that can help you."
"You mean you can tell us something else, but it won't help," Anakin countered.
She gave him an inscrutable look. "Demon X(A/N)TH is angry with you, Anakin. He wants revenge." She shook her head. "That's all. I've told you as much as I can. Besides, I'm going to be late for work as it is."
"You've helped us greatly," Leia assured her. "We'll be on our way."
"Take your time," said Kenya. "I've got to shower and get ready for work. I locked our cat in the downstairs bathroom so he wouldn't fight with Sammy; be sure to let him out before you go. Just don't let him outside."
"Yes ma'am," Luke said laughingly, saluting.
Kenya threw her wadded-up napkin at him, but she wore a smile as she did so.
As the others cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Luke slipped back into the living room. It couldn't hurt to have a glance at whatever Kenya was researching, could it?
It seemed that someone had beat him to the idea. Anakin was kneeling in the center of the mess and holding up a particular book.
"Find anything interesting?" Luke asked.
Anakin tilted the book to let Luke see the title – From Eden to Armageddon: A Biblical History of the World in Classic Art and Illustration. "She has something bookmarked in here. Shall we?"
Luke shrugged. "Why not? It may give us a clue as to what we're facing next."
Anakin flipped the book open.
Luke's jaw dropped.
Break…
The others were waiting for him in the field, ready to return to Xanth, but Anakin lingered near the front door of Kenya's house. He had a few questions to ask her before they departed.
"Need something?" she inquired, locking the door behind her. She was dressed in black overalls and a leopard-print blouse, and a bulky purse was slung over one shoulder.
"Who are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?" he asked, deciding to be forthright.
She glared at him, seeming torn between laughter and annoyance. "Snoop."
"Being a snoop has kept me alive more than once," he replied blithely. "There was a rather frightening picture of the Four Horsemen in one of your books. Who are they, and what threat do they pose to us?"
"The Book of Revelations in our Holy Bible describes the events that will occur before the Second Coming of the Lord," she replied. "The book's so stuffed with fantastic metaphors and symbolism that it's often hard to tell exactly what's in there, but the gist of it seems to be that, whatever happens, it won't be pretty. The Four Horsemen are symbols from the Book of Revelations – chapter six, to be exact – and scholars disagree on what they're supposed to represent, though most think they're symbolic of the plagues of the Apocalypse – War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death."
"So in Mundania, they're symbolic. But what are they in Xanth?"
"You'll find out."
Apparently he wasn't going to get any more information regarding the Horsemen out of her. All the same, he definitely didn't look forward to their encounter with this threat. The illustration in the book had been frightening enough – white horse with a crowned archer as a rider, red horse bearing a swordsman, black horse whose rider carried a set of scales, and pale horse ridden by a black-robed skeleton, surrounded by a backdrop of ruined cities and storm clouds.
"But I have a feeling that's not all you wanted to know," Kenya pressed.
He stared out into the field, watching Luke and Phillipa laugh over some joke or other. "You know I am a False Companion."
"Of course I do."
"You know X(A/N)TH orchestrated it," he went on. "He means to have me betray my son. That is how he seeks vengeance."
"You got it right, Anakin."
"But why? What have I done to earn his wrath? I have done nothing to harm his world…"
"X(A/N)TH doesn't give squat about his world," Kenya replied. "He pretty much lets Xanth's inhabitants do as they please. If it wasn't for folks like Grossclout and the Good Magician keeping an eye on things, Xanth would have gone down the toilet years ago." She motioned for him to follow her to her car. "Besides, it's not what you've done – it's what you haven't done."
"What do you mean?"
"He wanted you to defeat Darius on your own," she reminded him. "Failing that, he wanted both you and Luke to fail, forcing a rematch. If you had killed Darius, he would have gained a boost in status and had the entire Star Wars galaxy at his disposal. But you and Luke worked together, and the one demon all other demons detested, F(O/R)CE, won the wager. The runt everyone else had bullied for so long had triumphed, and X(A/N)TH saw it as a slap in the face. That's why he wants revenge."
He sucked in his breath as a terrible thought jolted through him. "Does that mean Demon E(A/R)TH will seek vengeance against my son?"
"He won't. I'm sure of it. E(A/R)TH's used to losing, and when F(O/R)CE prevailed he wrote it off as a loss – not that he was very happy about it, mind, but it doesn't bother him enough for him to seek retaliation. But X(A/N)TH was on a winning streak before he lost this particular wager, so he's not taking it very gracefully. It wasn't just the loss of the gamble, it was the blow to his ego."
"And now he wants to make me suffer by forcing me to betray Luke," Anakin realized.
Kenya didn't reply, only gave him a sympathetic look.
He opened the car door for her. "I can't betray him, Kenya. I can't hurt my son. He saved my soul before I died. He has placed so much faith, so much trust, in me. I am bound, as a Companion, to follow the rules of the game, but how can I knowingly hurt him?"
Inexplicably, a smirk crossed her face.
"Anakin Skywalker, since when have you cared about following the rules?"
And with that, she got into her car and backed out of the carport. The last he saw of her was a plume of dust as the vehicle bounced noisily down the lane.