Blue Nova

Chapter 2

Maybe I should explain. When Matt and I broke up, we decided to tell Jeff that we were just taking a break, you know, so he wouldn't feel like he had to choose between us. Actually, now that I think about it, Matt decided to brake up, and Matt decided to tell that to Jeff. Oh well.

"Um…" was all I say in reply, debating whether or not to tell him. He has a right to know. Actually, he probably already knows and is looking for assurance.

"Please, Li," he says, using one of my many nicknames, staring at me with puppy dog eyes. It's not a matter of whether I'm going to tell him. I have to. But I hate talking about it. Heck, I hate talking about Matt, period. I clench my jaw, staring at Jeff as he sits up, forcing my mind to curl higher to the sky, to try and ignore my words as I speak them. It's no use getting angry all over again.

"He dumped me," I say, "A month ago." And left me with his baby. Okay, so my mind is back down to Earth, and my hands are curled up, my nails digging into my skin. And he's over me.

I think I am too. It hardly took him a week to find a new girl, hanging on his arm, kissing him, hugging him, being there for him, making him tick. All the things that I didn't do, Matt says. But now, thinking of Edge, maybe I've found someone to create a scab and heal the gaping hole in my heart that Matthew Moore Hardy left in me. Maybe.

Jeff closes his eyes lightly, "God…" he whispers, and then looks up at me, "I'm so sorry Li." He stands up, and enfolds me in a hug. I hug him back slightly, and when we pull back, I see that his face is still pale, and the smile he's trying to give me is a pained, strained expression. "I guess you're over him, then," he says. I blush.

"I suppose," I say, trying to fight the red out of my face. Since when did I start blushing? Since now, I suppose. Jeff is looking even whiter now. Kind of like a ghost…a purple-headed ghost, given.

"So…" he says, and I can tell he's trying to tease me, "How does it feel to have Adam kiss you?"

Indescribable. I roll my eyes at him, and sit down on one of the couches, focusing my eyes on the monitor. A few moments later, the cushion to my right bends beneath Jeff's weight with a small whoosh of air.

"You love him, don't you?" Jeff says, staring at the small T.V too. I know for a fact that neither of us is watching it. Do I? It's not really one of the things that I've ever really considered, seeing as how I always look to my guy friends as brothers. I know I like him really, really well, I mean, how else would his kiss melt me? But love? I don't know…

And what does he expect me to say if I was positive that I did, anyway? 'Yeah, Jeff, I'm in love with one of your best friends!'. I don't know what I'm considering him as. And I won't tell you 'til I'm sure, Jeff.

Jeff is quiet next to me, blankly staring at the monitor. I know he's replaying the break up in his mind. He's thinking of what he could've done to stop it; what he did do to cause it. I know because that is exactly what I did. I guess we're in the same boat now, too. We're both still feeling the effects of a relationship. Although mine is probably going to last every time I look down at my stomach and then when I look at my baby.

God, my baby. It sounds so… weird.

"I'm going for a walk," Jeff announces bluntly. I didn't even try to stop him as he walked out. He's going to wander the hallways, looking at everything that reminds him of Trish, and then he's going to beat himself up emotionally over it. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. I could stop him from going, but I can't stop his thoughts. I wish I could. Even if I tried to explain to him that it was Trish's fault that they broke up, he would never listen to me and pin the guilt on Trish.

Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I'm thinking 'I told you so' to this whole break-up, doesn't mean I'm not mad at Trish. Actually, I'm not. I'm furious.

Hmm… Maybe it's time for a little girl talk to Trish…

Luckily for me, Trish is ready and dressed when I come into the Diva's locker room. And she's the only one in here, thank goodness. I grasp her arm tightly in my hand and drag her out to the hallway.

"We need to talk," I say lowly, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, and the urge to beat her up at bay. Trish has this scared look on her face that swells my pride. Good. She should be scared.

"You don't hate me for what I did, do you?" Trish asks in a small, petite voice. Yes, I do, but I hated you from the start anyway. The break up did nothing to improve your reputation with me.

"No Trish," I say soothingly, giving her a friendly hug, rubbing my hand up and down her back, as I speak, trying to get my fingers to uncurl from the fists that they were balled in, "I'll never hate you!" I add, pulling back.

It makes me sick that I'm such a good liar.

Trish sniffs slightly and gives me a small smile, "Thanks Amy, it means a lot to me." It means bullshit to both of us, Trish. We both sit down on one of the black storage cases littering the hallways.

"Look," I say, turning to her, trying to keep the light, friendly look in place, "What made you break up with him?" Trish draws back immediately, thinking (correctly) that I had faked the sisterly hug and words. "Trish!" I grab her arm, more gentle this time, "Anything that you tell me doesn't get repeated to anyone especially Jeff, and I hope it's vice versa. Trish doesn't come back to the case, but she does stand still. "I want to know what he did to push you away." Okay, she isn't buying it. "Trish, listen, I had a fling with Jeff a while ago before I was with Matt," I say. By the look on Trish's face as she turns around, I proved my lying skills once again, "And, well, I just want to know what he did to drive you away, to see if it was just me, the way he acted and stuff." Trish slowly sits back up on the case.

She bows her head, twiddling with her thumbs, "Well, Jeff was great… He was so sweet, saving me that day. And when we kissed…" she trailed off, a vague smile on her face, "It was great, to put it in lesser terms." She sighs. Dun, dun, dun. The bad part… "Then, when we became a couple, he became… He became like a slave, doing whatever I wanted… He never said no to me once, Amy." And here I thought that would be a good thing. "I like guys playing hard to get." Unless you can't get them. "I like guys saying no every once in a while." Because then that's one more thing you can say when you break up with them. "Jeff was crazy, and sweet, but he was so boring. He didn't do anything around me… Just acted, well, normal." Because you made him uncomfortable. "I wanted to get with him because he was so exciting." And he would get your fan base higher. "And then I found out he wasn't so exciting." Because he didn't get you as high up in the Federation as you wanted; he didn't get you as far as Vince did, but he still made you the face you are today.

"There's something else, too, isn't there Trish?" I say, guessing. Apparently, I was right, because she looks up, shocked.

"Is it that obvious?" she asks.

"I have a knack for these things," I lie.

"Well," Trish says, looking nervous. I swear it's the millionth time she's said that word in two minutes, "I… I had a fling with another one of the wrestlers. I thought that it was just a one-time thing to him. But then he called me the next day," an airy smile claimed her face for a spilt second, "We kept doing this for awhile… It made me feel so dirty, sleeping with him and Jeff. I told him so. He agreed; he had a girlfriend too, and we were both just looking for something more exciting. So, I guess like a month ago or something, he dumped her, and pressured me to dump Jeff." My ears were ringing. '…about a month ago…' Coincidence. It had to be. "I couldn't be so heartless. So I slowly started to avoid his phone calls, preparing him for it, you know." And you did a horrible job, Trish. All you did was prolong his pain. Her eyes start to fill with tears. I sigh inwardly. Oh, great. Just what I need, a blonde bimbo waterfall on my shoulder. "And then," she pauses dramatically, "Today I after I broke up with Jeff, after I got back from the ring, I called him. He said that he, he had a girlfriend now." I place a hand on her shoulder, massaging it gently. It takes all of my will not to try and break her shoulder. "Some giggly brunette," she snapped. Coincidence, right? Matt had Dawn Marie on his arm when I saw him last. "He… He asked if we could be a threesome!" she howls. "I won't let myself be degraded like that! And I told him so!" Yet it didn't degrade you to bark for Mr. McMahon on all fours? She sighed, "And then he came here later, and begged for forgiveness," she smiles for a faltering second, "I forgave him. We kissed and all that, but then he said that if I didn't want a threesome, then I'd have to wait for him to dump her, just like he had to wait for me to dump Jeff!"

I close my eyes quietly, "It's Matt, isn't it?"

She looks up, tears filling her eyes, "Yes."

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Author's Note: … I'm scaring myself with each chapter that I write… Review, anyway… Please!