Dear Diary:
So my first daughter, Eleanor McKenzie, is due soon, in about a couple of weeks. I didn't tell Lucas I was keeping this diary, but I am…because I hate worrying him when I feel depressed or annoyed or scared. Truth is, I am scared. I'm 18, not even in college yet, and expecting a baby. That's so messed up. I thought I'd have a bunch of STDs when I was older and like 17 children, but I never imagined it actually being true. I'm not having 17 kids…just one. But that'll be more than enough. I'm worried sick. I think I'm gonna be a really bad mother…like mine. I can't be Peyton, and I most definitely can't be Haley…she's like perfect with Emmy and Lyssa…speaking of those two, they're like the light of my life, I love them so much. I guess if I love them so much, I'm gonna love my daughter even more. I'm really excited to meet her, actually. I wonder what she'll look like, what she'll do, whether she'll be like me or Lucas…she better be like me! Or Lucas will never let me live it down. Sometimes I feel like I've let Lucas down, because not only am I having a baby when we don't need it, I'm making it extremely difficult for him to let me feel confident- and I know he cares a lot about me. I remember when he told me he was the guy for me on the beach before senior year. Guess he was right. I'll catch you later, I think my little daughter is a tad hungry…she's craving mayonnaise and ketchup. Ew, that's really gross. Strange child. Anyway…love,
Brooke…Scott, I think. We're not married yet- we should hop on that.
"Brooke, where are you?" Lucas called.
"In our room" she called back, shoving the diary underneath the mattress.
"How're you feeling?" he asked.
"Good" she smiled. He kissed her forehead and laughed.
"I know you're not 'good'" he said. "Tell me what's bothering you"
"Nothing is bothering me, Lucas!" Brooke snapped.
"Ok" Lucas said, a little taken aback. "I'll leave you alone, I need to go to practice…I'll see you later, ok?"
"Yeah"
"I love you, don't forget that"
"Uh huh" Brooke said. Lucas turned around to leave but turned back again.
"Brooke, sweetie, something is wrong and I can't leave without knowing what"
"Fine! I'm worried about the baby" Brooke said. "I see Peyton with Jenny and now Adrian, and I see Haley with Emmy and Lyssa, and I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that"
"Brooke" Lucas said softly. "I have nothing to say to that"
"I know" Brooke said, tears starting to well up in her eyes. Lucas wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. That was all she needed, he realized. Someone to hold her when she was scared because no one had done that for her when she was younger.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Adrian, look over here!" Peyton giggled, spooning some baby food into his mouth.
"Peyton you are so good for taking care of him when he's hers" Jake said.
"I love him, already, Jake" Peyton said. "And I must say, I was very skeptical at first and considered just not dealing with all of this but then I realized he did nothing to deserve Nikki as a mother, so who should make him suffer?"
"Yeah…you're amazing" Jake said, kissing her. "I love you so much"
"I love you too" Peyton smiled, her eyes twinkling. "So are you keeping Adrian?"
"I guess, I mean can you think of giving him up like that?"
"But then again that's honoring Nikki's last wishes" Peyton pointed out.
"Yeah but he shouldn't suffer for her mistakes, right?"
"Right" Peyton said, picking the little baby up and kissing him. "He's precious"
"I know…he doesn't look like Nikki, I wonder who his dad is" Jake said.
"It wouldn't be you, would it?"
"Peyton!"
"Just joking" Peyton giggled, putting him in his carrier. "How are we planning to afford this little guy?"
"Well let's just say my grandfather loves me very, very much" Jake said. "He deposited 800,000 dollars into my bank account"
"Oh my gosh, really!" Peyton exclaimed.
"Yeah…we're gonna be using that for a long time" Jake said. I took out 150,000 and put it into savings, then I took out 6,000 for Jenny's college tuition, and then I took out another 150,000 and deposited it in an account strictly for the children and their needs- diapers, bottles, food, etc. and the rest is going to be managed very carefully" Jake explained.
"You should be an accountant"
"I'm thinking about it, actually" Jake said. "It sounds like a good opportunity"
"Yeah definitely…sounds just a little boring though"
"I don't care, it pays a lot"
"Yeah, and you were always good at math"
"Hmm maybe I should major in that" Jake said.
"You should seriously think about it, Jake" Peyton said.
"Yeah…weren't we supposed to go to Brooke and Lucas's?"
"Yeah actually we're supposed to be there in 15 minutes" Peyton said, glancing at the clock.
"We should get moving"
"Yeah that'd be a good idea" Peyton laughed.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Lucas…" Brooke whined. "Carry me"
"Brooke" Lucas laughed. "Walk"
"Meanie"
"I love you" Lucas said, kissing her and returning to brushing his hair. "Peyt and Jake and Hales and Nate will be here soon with their little children"
"Aw Emmy and Lyssa and I haven't met Adrian…it is so good of Jake to take him in like that"
"Dude, I wouldn't be able to do it" Lucas said. "I would point blank refuse"
"But then you think at least when Adrian's with Jake he'll have some connection to his mother, you know? Like at least he'll be able to ask questions about her and know what she was like, even though Jake didn't know Nikki for very long"
"Yeah…let's just say it's not a good situation to be in" Lucas said.
"No"
"Look Hales is here!" Brooke said, running to the window. "I wanna see Emmy and Lyssa!"
"Brooke…" Lucas laughed.
"I love my nieces…hi!" Brooke said, letting Haley and Nathan in.
"Hey guys…" Haley said. "What's up?"
"Nothing really"
"Emmy cooed" Haley said.
"Aw!" Brooke giggled, taking Emily from Nathan. "I love Emily this girl is like…me"
"Alyssa is SO quiet" Nathan said. "She doesn't cry very much, it's wonderful"
"Emily, on the other hand, is my whiny little baby" Haley laughed. "And insists upon just whining"
"Aw" Brooke said. "Emily looks like Haley and Lyssa looks like Nathan"
"Oh I know- I love that the girls look nothing alike, it makes my life easier" Haley said.
"I know" Brooke laughed. "Alyssa is the green eyed dark haired girl and Emily has the hazel eyes light hair thing going on"
"Yeah…" Nathan said, smiling. He had been walking in a daze for the past 2 weeks- he just could not believe he had two daughters.
"Hello!" Peyton yelled, walking in.
"Hi! Omg I wanna see Adrian…oh my gosh he's precious" Brooke said, looking at the little boy asleep in his carrier. "He doesn't look that much like Nikki…or Jake"
"Brooke!" Jake reprimanded.
"Kidding…gosh" she giggled, picking Adrian up out of his carrier. "He is SO cute"
"I know" Peyton smiled. "I didn't think I was gonna like him and I was SO skeptical but then…it was like BAM, I couldn't think about parting with him"
"How did that happen?" Haley asked.
"I don't know…I honestly can't give you a coherent answer for that" Peyton said. "I really…don't know"
"That's really like mature, Peyt- I wouldn't have done that" Brooke said. "See you and Jake are mature- if my grandfather gave me 800,000 dollars- Gucci, here I come!"
"Well we have to save and plan" Jake said. "But I've decided my major"
"Really, what?" everyone asked.
"I'm going into business"
"That's great, Jake!" Haley said, patting Emily's back.
"What are you doing, Hales?"
"Burping Emily"
"Wait you actually burp babies?" Brooke asked. "I thought that was like a myth"
"Um…no"
"Oh my god I am so screwed- I'm due in 3 weeks!" Brooke said, getting a stressed out look on her face.
"Brooke…shh" Lucas said, pulling her into his arms and stroking her hair. "Don't be stressed"
"Lucas-"
"Shh"
"Fine" Brooke pouted, but the scared and dreadful feeling was still in her stomach. How much did she not know about babies? They need to be burped? Since when? How would she know what her daughter wanted and when she wanted it? She was not ready for this.
"So what are everyone's college arrangements? I can't believe we're all gonna have infants when we start college" Peyton said.
"Does that make us like…really messed up?" Brooke asked softly.
"No! Look…Nathan and I are married, Peyt is just taking care of two infants because she's the bomb, and you and Lucas did the right thing by not taking an innocent life" Haley defended.
"I know but we'll all have children before we're 19- well not Peyt technically but…" Brooke trailed off.
"Whatever…going back to my original question" Peyton glared and Brooke and she stuck out her tongue in retaliation.
"Well Brooke and I are doing part time college and stuff- its gonna be really hard for me to schedule school around practice and the baby, so when I'm in class, she's at home, when I'm at home, she's in class, when I'm at practice, she's at home, and then only once during the day are we both in class and we've got daycare for that"
"That sounds effective" Peyton said. "Jake and I are doing the same thing only I'm doing a lot of online classes"
"Yeah…I'm doing all online classes for the first couple of months because I got two" Haley said. "And Nate is at practice when I'm at home- I'm taking one class that's like not online and Nathan's gonna be home when I'm there"
"That's so awesome that we have all this worked out" Brooke sighed. "Who thought we'd be this mature at the beginning of junior year?"
"Who thought we'd have changed so much since then?" Haley said. "All 6 of us are completely different people now"
"Yeah…time and experiences change everything- we'll never be the same people we were again…older, wiser, and more mature" Peyton said.
"Yeah" Brooke sighed. "I'll never be party girl Brooke again"
"I'll never be Peyton the starving artist again- I'm more Peyton the responsible 18 year old"
"I know- what are you majoring in Peyt?" Brooke asked.
"Architecture and design"
"That is SO cool" Brooke said.
"Wait Brooke…what are you majoring in?" Haley asked.
"Um well…" Brooke sighed. "It's so…not me"
"Tell, tell!" Haley prodded, causing Brooke to sigh again.
"Journalism" she said meekly.
"Oh my gosh you'd be so good" Haley said. "You have that voice in writing that like catches your attention"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok" Brooke laughed.
"Come on guys…lets go walk outside" Lucas said.
"In the summer heat?"
"Yeah…barefoot"
"Sounds good to me" Brooke giggled, getting up and bounding out the door.
"She's so cute" Haley said, laughing and putting Emily and Alyssa in their strollers.
"I love her" Lucas said, watching Brooke's brunette hair swing across her shoulders. Almost too much for my own good he thought to himself as he shut the apartment door behind him.
A/N: So this probably looked like kind of a pointless chapter but it clearedup a lot of questions people might have about stuff...so review!