Chapter 7

"Wood paneling?"

"People like it."

"Really?"

"Some, yes."

"Donna! You wanna come into the living room and check this out?"

"Coming. Whoa...wood paneling?"

"Jeff the…Jeff says some people like it."

"Really?"

"Apparently so."

"Hmm…I think I'm ready to go to the next place."

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"I thought this was remodeled, why are the windows boarded up?"

"They're probably still finishing things up."

"The windows are boarded up on that one and the one over there too."

"They could be trying to keep people from crawling into the house."

"What?"

"It's not a great neighborhood."

"Josh, you're backing up. We haven't looked at it yet, why are we leaving?"

"Donnatella, this isn't the one."

"Can't we at least go in and look at it?"

"At a place in which you're going to have to keep your windows boarded up?"

"Just to see?"

"Don't make me get out the camera phone, Donnatella."

"Do you even know how to use that thing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

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"I feel like I'm leaning to the left."

"I think this house is on a slope."

"Is that even safe?"

"It's kind of awesome in here. The ceilings are so high, and there's so much light."

"Why does the floor move when we walk?"

"It's not on a slab."

"I feel like I'm going to fall through the floor."

"Where's the third bedroom?"

"You're in it, I think."

"But… you have to go through this room to get to the kitchen."

"It's a walk-through bedroom."

"Am I the only one who notices that the floor bounces?"

"This is the only bathroom?"

"Yes."

"You have to go into the walk-through bedroom to use the restroom?"

"Maybe this is the living room and that's the third bedroom."

"But the door to the outside's in that room."

"Yeah."

"I feel like I'm going to fall over."

"I don't think this is the one."

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"The washer and dryer stay in this one."

"What's that smell?"

"How about the other appliances?"

"They stay too."

"Is that a dead animal or something?"

"It probably crawled into the basement and died."

"Two baths?"

"Or into the walls."

"The walls?"

"Sure."

"That's unlikely."

"In a house this old? And if it's in the wall, you'll never get it out."

"It's probably just in the basement."

"Lot's of woods around here. I'd have Terminex check for brown recluse."

"Spiders?"

"Deadly ones. Have you ever seen a picture of someone with a brown recluse bite? It's disgusting."

"I don't think they're this far north."

"Josh is right. It smells in here."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to live here."

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"The key won't turn."

"It's just stubborn. I'll get it."

"There's a cop car. That's nice. That makes me feel safe."

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"Now the key's stuck."

"Let's go around the back and look in through the windows."

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"The key broke."

"Hmm… I don't think we're getting in there today."

"But I like this one."

"You like them all until we go inside."

"Not the one with the boarded up windows."

"No, that was me who wouldn't allow that one."

"Wouldn't allow?"

"Bad choice of words."

"Ok, I called the realtor. She said the key was for the back door."

"That would've been nice to know a few minutes ago."

"Yes."

"Can she bring us another key?"

"The owner lives out of town. It's going to take a week to get it."

"Well then, I guess we're done here for now."

"Guess so."

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"Have you read this notice?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"Why?"

"Just… read it."

"Just tell me what it says, Josh."

"It's a notice required by Virginia law to inform you that a homicide took place at this residence."

"Well, that does it. I'm not living here."

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"This one needs a new roof."

"Are you sure?"

"Look at it. It's caving in."

"How much is a new roof?"

"Ten to fifteen thousand."

"Are you serious?"

"Afraid so."

"Well, I like it…"

"But not another fifteen thousand dollars worth?"

"Exactly."

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"Why does that for sale sign have a sold on top of it?"

"I guess it sold since I called about it on Friday."

"I guess there's no use going in it."

"Guess not."

"Too bad. I had a good feeling about this place."

"Right."

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"I'm beat."

"Me too."

"I'm starving."

"Chinese?"

"Yeah, but at my place, so I can wear pajamas."

"No. You can wear something of mine. The same can't be said for me."

"I have some pink flannel pajama bottoms you'd look cute in."

"Like I said, my place."

"Fine, but I'm wearing your Mets t-shirt."