Castle Zombie was a stately, impassive structure – from a good distance. Once Luke got within a few kilometers, however, he could see the entire thing sagged as if it had been constructed from wet clay. Even closer, and the flaking, slimy stonework and the stench of mold and long-rotting organic material hit his senses. Zombies had built the castle, Chas Centaur had explained, and this was the way they liked it.
"And the Zombie Master lives here?" Luke asked, trying to remember to breathe through his mouth.
"Of course, along with his wife and two children," replied Chas. "Though they are fully grown now and will soon begin families of their own, I'm sure."
Luke couldn't imagine anyone trying to live here. "Is the Zombie Master…"
"He is alive and human," Chas interrupted. "He just prefers the company of the half-dead to the company of most living Xanthians. They don't bore him with unnecessary babble or put on airs to impress him."
Well, he had a point. All the same, however, the Zombie Master could have Castle Zombie, and he would stick with the Jedi Academy.
The centaur squadron reached the drawbridge of the castle, to be greeted by a zombie centaur. The creature's hide was mottled with mold, and its eyes seemed to have rotted out long ago.
"Halsh," it ordered in a slurred voice.
Chas kept his face carefully composed as he saluted. "We have come to see the Zombie Master."
"Waitch here," the zombie replied, a few teeth and a fragment of its lip coming loose with the command. It turned and entered the castle, dropping pieces of hide and flesh on the way.
"Eww," Luke commented once he was sure the creature was out of earshot.
"I hope that was no one I knew," one of the other centaurs remarked.
"Zombies are some of Xanth's more… unsavory creatures," Chas noted. "But it is wiser to pity them than to loathe them. They are not quite alive and not quite dead, trapped somewhere in between. They can live forever, but the quality of that life leaves much to be desired."
"I can see that," Luke replied.
The ground trembled, and every centaur set an arrow to his or her bow in response. Luke whirled, a hand near his lightsaber…
Ogres! There had to be over a hundred of them, bellowing in savage joy and grinning their hideous grins. And on the shoulder of the foremost one, a figure in white…
"Hold your fire!" Luke shouted. "They're here to help!"
Reluctantly the centaurs relaxed their bowstrings. Luke slid down from Chas' back and ran to meet the lead ogre.
"See he!" the ogre grunted, dropping to one knee. The impact of the calloused joint striking the ground made the centaurs stagger for balance.
"And you told me they'd be difficult to manage," Leia said teasingly from her perch on the creature's shoulder.
Luke smiled up at her. "Not bad, Leia. Let's hope the others had half as much luck."
Leia slid down from the ogre's shoulder. "What's going on now?"
"My guess is we'll be meeting with the Zombie Master now," Luke replied. "He probably needs to know why we're planning to storm his basement…"
The ground shuddered again, and once again bows were readied as a diggle slithered through the ground, carrying Jenny and Sammy upon its back. The elf girl dropped from the diggle's back, and it resumed the form of a pouting Mentia.
"Wow!" Jenny exclaimed. "You guys did it!"
Luke's gaze drifted behind the two women, half-expecting to see an army of some kind behind them. But they had come totally alone. Had they failed?
"The Curse Fiends couldn't come," Jenny explained, sliding a bag off of her shoulder. "But they said these seeds could help us."
Luke opened the bag and sifted a handful of seeds between his fingers. "What kind of seeds could these be?"
"Some kind of weapon plant, maybe?" suggested Leia. "Silverswords or arrowroot?"
"Once the others get here, we can toy with them a little more," Luke suggested. "Mentia, any luck?"
"I met a friend of the Crypt Keeper's," she volunteered. "He was in the dream realm with me, having a really weird nightmare. He told me the Crypt Keeper's name."
"His name?" repeated Luke. "What is his name?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she retorted.
"Try me," Luke shot back.
Again the ground shivered, though not as much as it had with the ogres or diggle. The centaurs rolled their eyes, keeping their weapons lax this time.
"Here come Fett and Phillipa," Jenny noted. "And it looks like they've brought more fighters."
"Imps?" asked Leia.
"Nope," Jenny replied. "There's a centaur, a unicorn, a winged naga man, a dragon covered with fur instead of scales, two humans with antlers…"
"The army of Lake Eerie," Luke realized. "The crossbreeds! Phillipa must have gotten through to them after all!"
Phillipa galloped into the midst of their rapidly growing army and skidded to a halt right before Luke and Leia. Fett had been sitting astride her, and now he dismounted, though he kept one hand constantly upon the dragon-horse's side.
"What about the imps?" demanded Mentia.
"I gained their trust," Fett replied. "They will aid us when we need them."
Luke glanced at Phillipa, then at Fett, then at Phillipa again. Something wasn't right here. There was an odd tension around these two, some kind of conflict… yet some kind of bond as well.
"All right, what's going on?" he asked. "What happened?"
Phillipa gave a gusty snort. "Fett and I drank from a love spring by accident."
Luke's stomach lurched. A love spring? Of all things! He remembered all too well his close call with the love spring his first time in Xanth. Apparently, Fett and Phillipa hadn't been as lucky.
Mentia screeched. "Not fair! Not fair at all! I was planning on a night of fun with him after all this was over, and what does he do? Goes and falls for a lizard-horse! Totally unfair!"
"Shut up, Mentia," Phillipa ordered. "He wasn't yours to begin with."
"Love spring?" repeated Leia.
"Anyone who drinks from a love spring immediately falls in love with the first creature of the opposite sex they see, no matter the species," Jenny explained. "That's why there are so many crossbreeds in Xanth. The centaurs, for example, come from love spring encounters between humans and horses."
"I resent being called a crossbreed," one of the centaurs sniffed.
"The effects of the love spring usually last about four years," Jenny went on, oblivious to the comment. "By then it's usually replaced by natural love."
"Is there any way to cure it?" demanded Fett. Evidently he wasn't happy with this arrangement in the least.
"Not to my knowledge," Jenny replied. "You'll have to ask the Good Magician."
Two figures strode forward from the crossbreed army. Luke recognized them and extended a hand in greeting.
"Hi, Chang. Hi, Wara. It's been a long time."
The centaur shook his hand. The unicorn assumed human form and did likewise.
"You have a remarkable friend here, Luke," Wara told him. "He defended Phillipa quite well at Imp Ire. She is a lucky woman to have him as a sweetheart."
Luke couldn't hold back a laugh.
"What's so amusing?" Wara asked.
"Let's just say Fett's got a reputation where I come from," Luke replied. "Most people don't think he even has a heart, let alone a sweetheart."
"Then they will be very surprised when he brings home a wife, won't they?"
"I doubt they'll get that far…" Luke began.
Chang's gaze moved to the centaur army, and he stiffened upon seeing Chas. Chas gazed back, suddenly uneasy. Now that the two centaurs were together, the family resemblance was much more pronounced – the white-blond hair, the piercing eyes, the chiseled features, the dappled gray hide. Luke waited cautiously for one or the other to make some sort of move.
"Chas," Chang whispered.
"Father," Chas replied in an equally quiet voice.
"It has been too long, son," Chang murmured.
And with that, the two of them stepped away for a few minutes to confer. Wara gave a little smile as she watched them go.
"I wonder how he'll take having a werecorn stepmother," Luke remarked, trying to lighten the mood.
"I think," Wara said slowly, "they'll have enough to discuss without bringing me up."
A nervous ripple passed over the gathered army, and gazes moved skyward as an enormous black dragon circled to land. But the unease passed in an instant when Anakin folded his wings and resumed his human shape.
"Father!" Luke exclaimed. "What happened to you?"
For Anakin seemed to have aged ten years in the time he had been gone to Mount Parnassus. His face was lined, his expression was one of anxious fatigue, and his deep blue eyes were strangely troubled. He didn't look at Luke but studied what he held in his hands – an enormous multicolored feather, as long as Luke's arm.
"The journey was… a bit rough," Anakin said dismissively.
Luke glared at his father with a stern expression he usually reserved for difficult students.
"All right," Anakin confessed, annoyed. "I ran into the Furies."
"The Furies?" gaped Mentia. "Those bitches?"
"Mentia!" snapped Phillipa.
"Well, they are!" Mentia protested. "Aren't they, Anakin? Don't tell me they don't look like dogs!"
Anakin smirked. "They do indeed resemble dog women."
"And they're extremely nasty," Jenny put in. "They accuse everyone they meet of patricide – of somehow tormenting or even killing their parents. No matter who you are or how you treated your mother and father, they'll find some evidence that you're somehow abusing or neglecting them. And they especially enjoy flogging their victims to death… or, if they can't flog them, throwing a curse at them."
"They didn't hurt you, did they?" demanded Luke.
"They said they couldn't touch me because of the game restrictions," Anakin explained. "That didn't stop them from making some rather pointed remarks, however."
At that moment, Leia did something absolutely shocking. She stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Anakin's arm.
"I'm sorry," Leia told him.
Anakin stared at her, stunned, mouth hanging slightly open. Leia gave an amused smile and placed a finger to his chin, closing his mouth. Anakin just stared a second longer, then burst into laughter.
"You are indeed like your mother," he marveled.
Leia's smile widened. "When this is all over, I'd like to meet her."
"We can arrange that," Anakin replied.
"Enough with this mush," complained Mentia. "Where's your army?"
"The Simurgh provided me with two keys to repairing the damage wrought by the Crypt Keeper," Anakin replied, holding up the feather. "The first is one of her feathers, which she told me have healing properties."
Jenny whistled. "Very strong healing properties, too. Don't lose that or break it. We'll definitely need it."
"The second is the code needed to reformat the Interface. It should seal off any holes or rifts that the Crypt Keeper caused."
Mentia snorted. "That's no army."
"It's still something crucial," Luke replied.
The zombie centaur emerged from the castle, leading a thin, middle-aged man in a black suit. The Zombie Master was dark-haired and as pale-skinned as one of his charges and seemed rather quiet and reserved, but he looked handsome in an elegant sort of way and wore a kindly expression. Upon seeing the bizarre assortment of creatures and people that had gathered practically on his doorstep, he arched a black eyebrow.
"I was informed you needed to see me?"
All eyes turned to Luke, somehow expecting him to take charge. Though it was only natural – as a Jedi Knight, he was supposed to be capable of handling things like this.
"Do you rent out your catacombs to a man called the Crypt Keeper?" he asked.
The Zombie Master nodded. "I do."
"Have you noticed anything… suspicious going on with him lately?"
Again the Zombie Master nodded. "He's usually a quiet border. But the past few weeks things have been rather noisy. He's had a lot of guests as well."
"Did any of these guests stand out in any way? Say, four of them?"
The Zombie Master's eyes lit up in recognition, and he nodded again. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Four men on horseback. There was something strange about them, but I can't put my finger on it…"
Luke extended a hand. "I apologize for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker. My friends and I are here to confront the Crypt Keeper."
The Zombie Master's expression didn't change. "What has he done?" he inquired casually.
"We believe he's involved in a plot to bring down the Interface."
His brow furrowed. "That's a serious charge."
"Do you think we'd bring our own army if we weren't serious?" demanded Fett.
"No, you wouldn't," the Zombie Master confessed. "Well, come on in. I was about to have a meeting with an old friend of mine, but I think this is a bit more important."
To Luke's surprise, the inside of the castle was luxurious and scrubbed clean, with rich tapestries over the walls adding to the opulent effect. Their host led them to a grand conference room, where a lone young man sat at the long table.
"Trent, I'm afraid we'll have to cut this visit short," the Zombie Master told him. "Something's come up."
Trent stood. "Then I'll be on my way. It was nice chatting with you again…"
Jenny's eyes bulged. "Trent? Magician Trent?"
Trent nodded. "The same, Jenny Elf. Why do you ask?"
"Who's Magician Trent?" asked Leia.
"He was once the King of Xanth," Anakin replied, "but he retired long ago. His daughter, Irene, is queen of Xanth. Trent is a fully fledged Magician, with the talent of altering the shape of any living thing."
Luke looked Trent up and down. He didn't seem old enough to have a queen-aged daughter…
"I'm older than I look," Trent told him, guessing at his thoughts. "I've imbibed in water from the Fountain of Youth at one time."
"How old are you now?" asked Luke.
"Ninety-six, why?"
Luke whistled. "Never mind."
"So what is this 'something' that has come up?" Trent inquired.
Luke took a few minutes to explain. Like the Zombie Master, Trent betrayed no emotion during Luke's account.
"Xanth is indeed in danger," Trent replied, cupping his chin. "Hmm. I'd suggest you go to the King of Xanth with this information, but it would seem there isn't time now. No matter. Now you mentioned seeds…"
Jenny produced the bag. Trent scooped a few seeds out of the bag and examined them closely.
"Irene's so much better at identifying these than I," he murmured. "Her talent is growing plants, after all…"
"Too bad she's not here," Jenny remarked.
Fett stepped forward and pulled out a few seeds. "I have an idea. Phillipa, can you make a Fountain of Youth with your talent?"
"Haven't tried it, but I'm pretty sure I can. Why?"
"Can you make the opposite? A Fountain of Age?"
She considered that. "I don't know. There's not much demand for those. But seeing as I'm suddenly morbidly curious…" She dipped her head and touched her horn tips to the stone floor. Almost instantly water gushed up from between the stones and formed a grayish pool.
"If you have a plan, could you at least let us know the details?" demanded Mentia.
Fett ignored her. He knelt beside the pool, taking great care not to touch it, and dropped his seeds one by one into the shallowest water possible.
The seeds absorbed the water swiftly, bursting from their husks and uncoiling their green leaves like hatching chicks. As the spring's aging magic did its work, the plants matured and took on their true forms, glowing with vibrant health. Luke recognized the plants almost at once.
"Cat nip!" he exclaimed.
"Cat nip?" repeated Fett.
"What the blanking good is cat nip gonna do us?" demanded Mentia.
Luke opened his mouth to say he didn't know, but a light seemed to flicker on in his mind, and he burst out laughing.
"I'm badly in need of a joke myself," the Zombie Master remarked.
"The catacombs," Luke replied, still laughing. "It's another pun. If the Crypt Keeper is gathering an army in the catacombs, what creatures do you think his army will be made up of?"
"Zombies?" tried Jenny.
"No, think 'pun,'" Luke encouraged. "You can guess this."
Sammy rubbed up against Leia's leg, and almost instantly she caught what Luke was implying.
"Cats?" she said in disbelief. "An army of cats?"
"Oh boy," Jenny said in an overwhelmed tone. "This could be ugly. There are many cat-based creatures out there – griffons, sphinxes, ant lions, cat-apults, kitty hawks, paper tigers, cat burglars, tiger snakes, tiger moths… and many of them are very dangerous."
"Then it only makes sense that the cat nip will do you some good on the journey," Trent remarked. "Best take some of that aging water with you – you'll need it to activate the cat nip, and perhaps it can be used as a weapon of its own."
Preparations were swiftly made for the battle. The Zombie Master provided containers for the aging water and offered the aid of his best zombies to lead them down to the catacombs. Some of the cat nip was activated for ready use and stuffed into Luke's bag. Fett revealed a weapon horde of his own – a harvest of cherry bombs – and Jenny gave everyone a brief instruction on how to use the explosives.
Finally Leia raised her hands to silence everyone. "All right, we're ready as we'll ever be. Any more of this will just be stalling the inevitable. We should go."
"Right," Luke agreed. "Everyone ready to go?"
"Ready," Jenny grinned.
Fett nodded.
"Reporting for duty," Anakin replied.
"If I have to," grumbled Mentia.
"I'm ready!"
Luke stared. That was Phillipa's voice, all right… but who was this?
"Phillipa?" Fett breathed, and even through the mask it was obvious he was gaping.
"I took the liberty of… altering her form," Trent replied. "She told me she felt useless without being able to handle a weapon or otherwise aid your group. So I gave her a different form… and I must say it quite becomes her."
That went without saying. Magician Trent had transformed the dragon-horse into a human girl – and a very attractive one at that. Her hair was an odd color of metallic blue-silver that hung down to her mid-back, and her sculpted features, long neck, and slanted green eyes gave her an exotic look. A blue-green dress, cut and tailored to allow maximum movement, clung to her curves and accentuated her beauty.
Fett stared a long time, then shook his head as if to clear it, then went right back to staring.
"All right, lovebird, snap out of it," ordered Phillipa, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss on the side of his helmet. "Let's go kick some Crypt Keeper behind."