Blue Nova
Chapter 7
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
It's funny how old clichés seem to apply to my life around now. I'm damned if I tell Chris that I'm pregnant, but I'm damned if I don't. I sigh, running a hand through my hair, hugging the pillow to my chest tighter. I'm currently sprawled across the bed in the hotel room, watching some action/comedy movie with Jericho. Lord knows I really haven't heard a word of it. Chris is sitting in front of me, on the floor, leaning up against the foot of the bed. I didn't—and still don't—think it was a wise decision, after he'd gotten so bruised up after his match, which his team had barely won, but hey, I've got the bed, so I'm not complaining! His blonde hair is totally blocking my view though, but I don't really care at this point.
Chris turns his head, facing me. "Want some more popcorn?" he asks, his mouth full, his hand holding the popcorn bowl outstretched. I give him a look in reply, and Chris stands up, plopping down on the bed beside me. His eyes narrow. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you lately?" he says.
Whoa.
I didn't think I was being that obvious. I guess I was though—Edge noticed, and now Chris. "What do you mean?" I ask, trying to find a reply. Déjà vu—wasn't that what I asked Edge?
"You know what I mean," Chris counters effortlessly, and I can't rebuke his statement. I suppose that's what happens when you have close friends; they can read you like a book.
Goody gumdrops.
"I've been worried about you, Red," Chris continues.
So God help me, I'm touched.
"Chris, I've got something to tell you," I interrupt, playing with my hands. Is this really a bright idea?
"Yeah… Go on…" he coaxes, and I sigh. I don't want to do this, but I have to.
I really, really, really don't want to do this.
"Chris, you've got to promise not to go after anyone after I tell you this."
"Can I go after them now? You can tell me after," Chris suggests, and I glare at him. This is not the best time to have the smart-ass in him come out. "Okay, fine. I promise I won't go after anyone, no matter how much they deserve it."
My hands are curled up so tight I can't even feel them. "You've got to promise one other thing."
"What is it?"
"After I tell you… Don't judge me," I whisper, my voice soft.
"Li…" his eyebrows come together, curiosity and concern evident in his voice.
"Just do it," I insist loudly, covering up anything that he was about to say.
"I promise," he replies, nearly too quickly. I run a hand through my hair again, looking around, desperate to find something to stare at while I tell my piece…something other than Chris's face.
"Well, to start… Matt and I weren't taking a break," I say slowly. The same story had gone to Jeff had gone to everyone else in the WWE.
"No offense, Red, but I kind of figured that. When you take breaks, you—" he pauses uneasily and shakes his head. "Never mind… Keep going, Lita."
"I…I…" my throat tightens. Am I really going to tell him this? "I can't," I whisper tonelessly. "Chris, you won't understand, you…" I trail off, unable to finish.
"Try me," he replies, steel in his tone. I look at him, and see the determined way he has set his jaw, and know there's no getting out of this.
"You can't tell anybody… Especially not Jeff, Matt, or Edge," I say, trying to veil Matt's name between the two other names.
"What does Matt have to do with this?" Chris asks, his eyes flaring with sudden anger.
"Chris—"
"What?"
"You promised not to go
after anyone," I remind him. "Not now,
not yet, anyway," I add.
"Alright," he seems to slouch, the wind taken from his sails. "So what is it, Li? What's been going on?"
"Matt and I… We had a good relationship, at least I thought, until the end," I say, my voice shaking. No, we didn't have a good relationship. Matt was sleeping with Trish, for cripes sake! Sure, I thought it was great, but it obviously wasn't great enough for that mousy-looking, bed-hopping—
I'm getting off track.
"Sometimes, on our time off, we would go to the bar together, and just get drunk. It didn't matter what we did afterward, because we were always with each other, and it wouldn't matter if we ended up sleeping with each other… But one day… One day, it did matter," I feel tears burning at my eyes, tears of anger toward myself. I look up, forcing myself to continue. "We went to the bar as usual, and got really, really drunk, and we ended up in the hotel room…" I trail off for a moment. "We didn't use protection." I can't bring myself to look at Chris's face, feeling the shame welling within me. "Chris…" I took a breath. "I'm pregnant."
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Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter! Please