Blue Nova
Chapter 9
Thinking back, it seems like I told Jericho that I was pregnant years ago, but it was only a month ago. I'm just past two months pregnant, and I'm beginning to show. All I have to say is thank God that the weather is cooling down. Bulky sweatshirts and loose long sleeved shirts have permanently placed themselves in my wardrobe. I talked to Linda about lessening my wrestling time to ease me out of the business. My excuse was that I wanted to take a year or so off for leisure traveling and whatnot. I think she sensed something deeper, but she accepted my reason without a second thought, and suddenly, I have what I wanted.
I still haven't told Adam… But I'm planning on it. Really soon, too.
Oh, yeah, right. Come on. I'm such a wimp. Especially now. I don't know how to put into words the way he makes me feel when he kisses me, or where in our relationship we are—friends with benefits or boyfriend/girlfriend?—but all I do know is that it's something I definitely want to hang onto. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel that if I tell him, it's going to put a damper on what we have together, but so will not telling him. At any rate, he hasn't mentioned it either.
Anyway, just like Linda promised, my matches have eased off of the show. And surprisingly enough, Evolution hasn't bothered me at all. It bothers me at the same time that it relieves me. I suppose it's better to go on with life than to brood, and that's exactly what I intend upon doing. Uncapping the pen in my hands, I look down at the notebook paper in front of me. I fully intend to not wimp out on this one. I'm going to send a formal note to Matt, telling him that I'm pregnant with his child and that I'm going to give birth. I don't expect he will care; hell, I'm counting on him not caring.
Matt.
I frown at the letters on the paper, wishing that all of these damn feelings and voices inside of me would just stop. I had no time to whine and sob about what could have been. And anyway, he was getting his perks off of Trish the whole entire time. My best friend!
Well…at the time.
I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm pregnant.
Hmmm…. The line sounds so… I don't know. Like something I would have written to him months ago when we were together. Frowning, I push on.
I know the baby is yours for a fact. I am two months along now. Why did it take me so long to tell you if I've known for this long?
I pause to think about it a little. My thoughts form into words easily this time.
Because frankly, I didn't think that you should know. I heard about your fling with Trish. To be honest, I'm not that surprised or hurt.
Okay, so it was a lie. But it was just a little one! Those are okay, right? And it doesn't matter, anyway. He's said thousands more lies than I ever could.
But I didn't—and still don't—think that a baby should have a person like that for a father. That said, let me clarify a few things. Your part in this baby's life will be dictated by us, not you. If you don't want any part of his or her life, fine. Nice knowing you. I really couldn't care less. But if you do want a part, I'll let you, because it's only fair. It's only fair, then, that you aren't going to be the father in its life.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. The command that my letter was taking over him was sure to piss him off. But damn, did I sound good!
Tell me whether or not you want to be in the baby's life as soon as you can get off of your lazy ass and respond.
Okay, so the lazy ass part wasn't quite necessary… But oh well. I'm not going to shed any tears over it or anything. He deserves it.
I'd prefer to not have this get around backstage, but if you feel you must slander my name, and yours, go right ahead.
I took a breath writing that line. I really don't want this backstage, that was true. But the other part wasn't quite as much. I mean, the 'go right ahead' part. Because, come on, I wasn't ready for that. How much would it hurt my friends, hurt Adam, if they heard it from backstage rumor, and not from me? I shake my head. Matt would guess that everything in my letter was true, which most of it wasn't. Hopefully he would think that line was true, too. If not, I'm pretty much screwed. But thinking about Adam gave me another sentence.
And if you think that you can just come right on into my life and try to sweep me off my feet and get me to marry you, think again. I'm not making the same mistake twice. And, unlike you, I don't have two significant others at the same time. Oh, you may ask how I learned that little tidbit of information… Well, it turns out that Trish's mouth is also loose with words, not just finding her way to the top.
I think that's enough Trish insulting for now. I don't exactly want an epic here. Humming softly to myself, I add a few lines and put the letter in the envelope and seal it. The sticky stuff is as gross as ever. Yuck. They should have like cherry flavor or something. It only takes a minute to drop it into Matt's locker room, seeing as how it's next door—ironic, isn't it?—but I did it in thirty seconds.
The task complete, I return to the locker room, thinking once again. Sending a letter may prove that I'm not brave enough to tell him face to face…
But Matt Hardy is going to have one hell of an interesting night once he reads that letter.
Christian frowned to himself as he saw a white envelope slide underneath the door to the locker room. He stood up, quickly snatching it off of the ground, flipping it to the front. MATT was scrawled across it in big letters. Christian shifted from foot to foot. He had a tag match with Matt, and the other man hadn't returned yet… It was quite obvious that the letter was meant for Matt and only Matt. Still, curiosity ate at him.
He opened the envelope.