Blue Nova

Chapter 11

The sounds of my footsteps against the concrete floor kind of remind me of the drum roll in the movies before someone is hanged. And, you know, maybe there's a reason I'm thinking of that, because I minus well be dead without Adam. There! I admitted it. I'm becoming attached to him in more ways than one. He's just so sweet and caring…not to mention tons different from every guy that's tried to get my attention in the past years. He truly cares about me and I… Well, I'm in love with him. Doesn't that say enough?

So, yeah, I haven't really just realized it but it's the first time I've admitted it. Big load of help that does. Kind of ironic, huh? You realize you love someone just in time to lose him? Now, walking to God-knows-what with Adam, I wish I would've just submerged my shame and told him earlier. The optimistic side of me continues to hope that he hasn't heard it…but there's this cool pit inside of my stomach that tells me otherwise. This isn't going to have a happy ending.

I'm at the door now. There's nothing left to do but knock. It takes all of my will to raise my hand and do so. A moment later, Adam opens the door. I swear my heart fell to the vicinity of hell when I saw his emotional face. He looked so…broken. "Adam…" I whispered, intending to rattle off an apology but the words dying on my lips.

"You don't need to say anything," Adam says, his voice hoarse.

"Adam, please, listen to me," I beg. He doesn't respond; he just stands there with that look on his face. I'd do anything, anything, to get it off. "Hear me out Adam."

"I think I've heard it all," he replies.

I shut my eyes tightly. "No, no you haven't. Adam, please give me another chance."

"Another chance?" he repeats, his voice rising in anger. "Another chance? You want another chance after you betrayed my trust and broke my heart? You want another chance?"

"This is why I didn't tell you!" I shout. I really didn't mean to, I swear I didn't… The silence is deafening between us and I can feel tears burning behind my eyes. "I love you Adam; I'd do anything for you. I didn't want to tell you because I know I'd lose you. Don't do this, Adam," I plead.

He shakes his head slowly. If it's possible for my heart to go down further, I think it is. "You're pregnant with Matt's kid."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me."

"Because I thought I'd lose you."

Adam looks at me, his eyes disbelieving. "If you would've told me sooner I would've understood."

"You and I both know you wouldn't have," I reply sharply.

"You kept this from me," his voice raises in intensity. "You told Jericho and Christian before me. Hell, you told the entire backstage before me! Do you know how embarrassing that is? Do you know how much it hurts that you trust them more than me?"

"Do you even care how I feel?" I shout, tears running down my face in a steady stream by now. "I tried, by God, I tried to tell you but I was too afraid you wouldn't understand and you'd leave me. I don't rate my trust, Adam, but you're among the top. I didn't want to tell you because right now you're the only good thing in my life and I didn't want to lose that." Adam stares at me and it's painfully obvious that my words aren't going through to him. I close my eyes again, feeling shamed. Not only am I being dumped, I'm being humiliated—pouring my heart out for nothing—and looking like some pathetic little girl who can't handle anything. "The only person I told was Jericho. I wrote a letter about it to Matt and Jay opened it."

"I don't care," Adam says through gritted teeth, "My point is that you didn't tell me."

My face is blotched with red marks and my eyes are probably already bloodstained and puffy. "What do you expect, Adam?" I sob, "I don't think I made the wrong choice. I told my best friend and then the father of this baby. Do you think you hold a right over them to know?"

He glares at me through a mix of emotions I won't bother to decipher. "I love you Amy, but you betrayed my trust. You're carrying Matt Hardy's baby and, intent or not, I was the last one to hear about it. It's obvious that you don't trust me."

"It's not like that!" I yell. He shakes his head slowly and I step back. "You and I both know that it isn't true, Adam. So why are you doing this?" he steps back into the locker room, his hand on the door, moving to close it. It wasn't just closing that door…it was closing the door on our relationship. "Please don't do this, Adam," I beg, more tears falling down my face. His eyes are cold as he slowly shuts the door.

My entire body goes numb at the sound of the doorknob clicking. I wrap my arms around my stomach, stumbling a few feet before leaning against a wall and sliding down the wall until I am sitting. Partially alone, I allow the tears to emerge again.

"The man worth your tears will never make you cry."

I look up to the soft voice, instantly knowing it was Jeff. He's kneeling in front of me, gazing at me with concerned eyes. He reaches forward, pushing my hair away from my face. "Let's get out of here," he whispers, standing and offering me a hand to stand up.

I had never been more eager to comply.

Author's Note: Hey! I hope you guys liked this chapter! It was nice to write :). And don't worry; there's definitely more to come. Please review!

Thanks to Red-Ice Blue-Fire, huntersgirl, ME and Not You, Kylee, and Latisha C for the wonderful reviews. Keep 'em coming!