And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you
Right here by me.

-3 Doors Down, "Here By Me"

Blue Nova
Chapter 12

I'm not sure how long it's been since I had the spat with Adam, and, at the moment, it doesn't really matter. I'm content to just sit here, holed up in Jeff's hotel room, staring at the wall and letting the numbness well up inside. Maybe it was a gift that the scene wasn't replaying through my mind. Somehow, though, I think it was the shock of it all that was blocking my mind from doing it.

"Smile, Red." I look up when I hear Jeff's voice. He smiles at me and sits on the end of the bed, looking at me with those inquisitive green eyes of his.

"Why?" I ask sourly, which isn't really fair to Jeff, seeing as how he's just trying to cheer me up. He takes it in stride, though, his facial expression not moving an inch.

Jeff doesn't answer me—I can see the answer in his eyes; I've already heard the answer countless times before. "It could've been worse," he says honestly.

"Everything can always be worse."

"Li…" he sighs, looking at me earnestly. "You know, I don't think you were really in love with him."

My bloodshot eyes snap to his face and I can literally feel the contempt blazing a path to them. What does he know about love, anyway? The moment the thought went off in my mind I wished I could take it back. Thank God I hadn't said it…

"What do you mean?" I ask, unable to keep all of the anger out of my voice.

"What do you really know about him?" Jeff asks. "How much time have you spent together? How much does he know about you? Does he really know you?" he pauses, "Do you really know him?" It's impossible to stay angry, even a smidgeon, with Jeff. The way he speaks…it's obvious he doesn't mean them like that. I know he just wants to make me feel better. He always has. It's a trait I thought I had found in his brother, but I was wrong. It's a trait I thought that Adam had…but it's not. Come to think of it, it's not really a trait.

Everything that Jeff was asking…I know the answers to. Reality sucks, but the reality is that the Adam I know is stale; static; flat. I can tell you about his favorite food and sports, but I can't tell you anything about his past, about his dreams, about his fears… How did I fall in love with a guy I don't even know? Then again, maybe…maybe I was just in love with the idea of being in love. There's a thought bubbling inside of me; a cruel thought, but one that strikes a feeling deep within me; a feeling I know is closer to the truth than the rest: I wanted someone to be with. Not for the comfort of having someone, though maybe that was part of it, but for the pregnancy. I'm afraid, afraid of going through this on my own.

"I'll always be here for you," Jeff says, patting my knee gently. It's heartbreaking, in a way, that he doesn't know how much the words he just spoke mean to me. He doesn't even know how much he means to me. I look up to him, lost for words. How can you tell someone how much they mean to you? Speech is such a brutal form of communication when it comes to feelings. There's so many things that you feel inside; so many things that just can't possibly be translated into words and definitions. Jeff smiles at me, and I can see it in his eyes: he knows exactly what I'm struggling to say.

That's the beauty of having someone there for you that knows you inside and out. When words fail you and no sentence falls from your lips, they hear your speech. When everyone has left you in the barren wasteland of broken dreams, they are the ones dutifully helping you place the puzzle pieces of your life back together. When the black abyss of pain surrounds you, they are the ones showing you the packets of silver in the dark, and when your world turns into a tornado around you, they are showing you the sunlight beyond the ripping wind.

Now I know how blessed I am, to have someone like that, and I'm never going to forget it. No matter what happens, Jeff will be there for me. Everyone will come and go, but he'll always be there.

And that's all that matters.

Author's Note: I hope you guys liked! It's kind of (actually it's really superly) sappy, but yeah...lol. Happy Valentine's Day! We here in GB got the best present-no school:) We have three days of school this week. It's so awesome! Anyway, please review!

Thanks to
AniLuLu
ME, and Not You
huntersgirl
kandiland
des1
Latisha C
for the reviews!