Author: Rothalion
Title: To Thaw A Hardened Heart
Summery: First person POV of Cassander. The devious one learns a lesson about humility, trust, honor and most importantly love while on an ill fated training exercise led by Alexander. The boys are about fourteen to fifteen and searching for answers.
Rating: PG-17 for under the furs sex.
Disclaimer: This can be Stone's universe, because I want to use Hephaistion's blue eyes and Cassander's long hair.
Excuses: Cassander's been rattling around in my head and I haven't done a first person POV in a while so….this is a one chapter tale that's turned into twoL In an effort to be expedient and get back to WPF I will not languish over this piece as far as editing, not that I edit myself worth a damn anyway!
Feedback: Please it's always welcome.
So the pretty whore was indeed worn out. Still, I had to admit, the two had made good time considering the weather. Hephaistion dismounted wearily and after taking a bit of field rations from his kit walked to the far side of the small clearing as far from Alexander as possible. Milos, the sniveling runt, started to look after Ajax. Alexander stopped talking to Cleitus and the Boar and watched as Hephaistion sat down stiffly on a rock and began to eat. The black haired general smacked Alexander on the side of his head to redirect his attention back to him and with a twisted and gnarled finger poked Alexander in the chest as he spoke. The good prince was definitely getting a dressing down by the two older men. I couldn't hear them, but judging by the look on Alexander's face and the matching scowls of Cleitus and Boar it was a tongue lashing for sure. Once Cleitus dismissed him Alexander headed straight for Hephaistion. I couldn't help but wonder what that little conversation would entail so I wondered a little closer just within ear shot.
Hephaistion gave Alexander a grim but determined look that basically said 'what the hell do you want?' and continued to eat his hard tack. Gods how I love it when those two are at odds! Like two hens fight over a roost it's simply an outrageous thing to witness. Alexander reached out to the cold Athenian with a mug of warmed wine and his most charismatic smile. Hephaistion shook his head at both offers, put the remainder of his food in his mouth and stood. Then he took the cup and to every ones amazement he walked over to where Curly was tending to Ajax and handed the large cup to the boy. Curly downed the warming liquid greedily and Hephaistion flashed him a smile and patted the lad's black curls before sending him to get a bit of the stag stew Nearchus had prepared the night before. I edged my way over and began to see to my own mount. Alexander began talking first.
"You are angry." He said to Hephaistion's broad shoulders.
Hephaistion continued adjusting Ajax's bit and his saddle cloth, refusing to acknowledge the prince's words. "Now see here, Hephaistion!" Alexander raised his voice a notch and added the tone of command to it. This was getting good. "Hephaistion Amyntor! Turn and address your prince in the manner I, he deserves! Now, boy!" I had to laugh, this was just too good, boy? Ptolemy clouted the back of my head to silence me. I leaned over and still chuckling said to Philotas,
"Alexander! By the gods is there no end to his arrogance, the silly fool! He'll be lucky if Amyntor doesn't tear him to bits."
"Silence yourself, Cassander!" Ptolemy hissed at me. We were all watching the encounter, how could we not. This was a lovers quarrel combined with a major battle of egos. Of all of us Hephaistion was by far the most prideful and now it was his pride pitted against the pride of a precocious princeling full of himself during his first command.
As we watched Cleitus stepped in close enough to drag the two apart if need be and Hephaistion to our amazement simply sighed and rested his forehead against Ajax's neck. Alexander tried again this time grabbing hold of Hephaistion's shoulder and forcefully jerking him around. Now, the Athenian came alive. Even from where I stood the fire in Hephaistion's ice blue eyes shown like a sentry beckon on a crystal clear night.
"Unhand me, Alexander! I am cold and tired and I am hungry and quite fed up with your attitude these past four days!" He stepped menacingly forward and stood toe to toe with his prince. "Angry, Alexander no! Disappointed and disenheartened yes! You, 'Prince' Alexander have made numerous errors in judgment during the course of this expedition, the worst of which was allowing your personal insecurities about 'our' relationship to cloud your judgment and endanger the lives of not one but two of your men. And in actuality all of your men Alexander; because had Milos perished and a suitable camp not been secured they would have been left to the elements. Angry? No, my Prince, I am frightened that your continued inability to function as a leader and commander in my presence will undermine the safety of this mission and future missions. Therefore, my Prince, I request to be sent back to Pella where I will beg the King to reassign me to another task where I will not be a burden to your judgment making in the future."
Hephaistion bowed and turned back to Ajax. He again leaned his forehead against the big horse's neck and I could see that he was clutching the horses thick wooly coat tightly in both fists. Whether to hold himself up or simply to prevent him from attacking Alexander I will never know. Alexander stepped backwards completely stunned at Hephaistion's outburst. What Hephaistion had threatened was, between them, an unimaginable thought. That Hephaistion would request to be sent away! Aside from that, the fact that the tired Athenian had made a reference to their relationship was also unheard of. While we were all aware of what the two did in private it was never mentioned in public unless we were taunting Hephaistion. So we all stood in stunned silence and waited to see what Alexander would do. It was lost to none of us how pivotal the decision he would make here would be. I stole a look at Cleitus and was shocked to see that he was staring at Hephaistion; his face betraying deep sadness. Finally Hephaistion turned back to Alexander and dropped wearily to a knee in the snow as a show of respect and bowed his head.
"I await… your decision… my prince, and would add that if you choose to send me back to Pella that I may take with me Milos. He is a fine scout and he knows the way better than I. The darkness…I…"
All was still and in the long tense moments while we waited the snow again began to fall. Alexander looked up into the gray sky for a time before speaking. I will never forget the sight of the new flakes stuck to the soft blond stubble he wore. Beside me I heard Nearchus curse.
"Damn you! Alexander let him up!" The Cretan hissed.
Alexander turned then and studied us one by one. He looked into our eyes and read our thoughts upon our faces. Satisfied he turned back to Hephaistion and began to speak slowly and purposefully.
"I have heard your council, Hephaistion, proud son of Amyntor and it is both wise and true. You spoke bravely and took the interests of this company and held them before your own, thereby opening yourself to great pain and heartache with this request. My apologies on my despicable, self centered and immature behavior. I will not send you from myself, Hephaistion. That I will never do. Please rise and know that I am humbled by your criticism and that I will never again allow myself to me swayed by my own feelings when considering the decisions of a command. I am, Hephaistion, duly chastised. Please rise."
"Alright, mount up! Shows over!" I heard the Boar yell. "Now boys! Get a move on! Perdicass you are out front with Nearchus! Ptolemy and Philotas take the rear Alexander you're with Cleitus go forward break us a trail. The rest of you single file column."
So we rode out. I watched as Alexander gave Hephaistion a leg up onto Ajax and then grasped Hephaistion's knee tightly. The Athenian gave the prince a weak smile and kneed his mount into line behind Milos. I fell in behind Hephaistion. I couldn't help it, but in all honesty I wanted to be sure to see him when he passed out and fell off his horse. He was exhausted and I love to see it when he fails to maintain his high expectations for himself. Hate is a poison that eats at you. I had to give my father credit he did a great job of filling me with it. I hate Hephaistion and I hate the Persians and I hate the Thebans and while I secretly envy the Athenians it is for my own personal gain. I hate to hate sometimes. Yet more often I love to hate and right now I was loving the show that my hate gave me leave to pray for and watch.
The snow continued to get heavier as we rode higher again for the fourth day. I studied Hephaistion riding in front of me. He was arrogant make no mistake. Proud of his skills and proud of his family and their damned line of Devil horses. Proud that his father had been taken into Philip's inner circle after showing up in Pella with fine mounts ugly and fiendish though they are, and a pledge of loyalty to Philip's new dominion. Yes, the bastard knew what he had and was never shy about standing up for it. Gods I remember some few years ago there a boy at court, a brutish lad from the high hills somewhere. Huge for his age. Now let me say this, Hephaistion is big. Tall and broad of shoulder but this boy, we called him the ogre, was bigger and thicker and a full two years older the Athenian. He always harassed Harpalus. Harpalus the lame. A small, gimpy boy but quick witted and a fine hand with numbers. The Ogre was thrashing Harpalus in the stable and when Hephaistion got wind of it he ran for the stable yard with all speed; the rest of us close at his heels. He hit the Ogre at a full run sending the two of them skidding across the hard packed ground. The impact alone had knocked the wind from Hephaistion's lungs and in the brief moments while he recovered himself the Ogre set upon him with a fury I have seldom seen again. In no time he'd pummeled Hephaistion bloody with fists the size of the fool Athenian's head. We screamed for Hephaistion to stay down but as the brutish Ogre backed off Hephaistion stood. We all gasped at his endurance. Alexander whispered to him to stay down and I never forgot the look of disappointment on Hephaistion's face at the prince's plea. He looked from Alexander to the Ogre and back. The huge boy kept saying over and over, 'Come on you Athenian scum, come on now you little whore, your father's a sell out who turned his back on his country to lick the boots of Philip.' Hephaistion surged forward straight into the Ogre's raised knee, three times straight before falling to the ground in a bloodied heap.
Humph. Did I respect him? No! I'd been told by my father that he was exactly what the Ogre had dubbed him. Three days later though when Amyntor rode into court to conduct his business and found out what had occurred and demanded, that injuries aside, Hephaistion come to him, I began to be swayed. Hephaistion went, half crawling most of the way, refusing any aid. He managed to stand and stagger the remaining twenty paces to where Amyntor waited in the room assigned to him in the palace. We were there, all of us. Amyntor in his wickedness requested all of us the, Ogre included to witness his wrath. Philip and Cleitus were there as well. They say that the important memories stay with you forever and vividly, such was the case with that afternoon two years ago. I see it as if it was yesterday. I have nightmares about still.
"Father." Hephaistion mumbled; his lips were smashed, and he could barley hold his head up to meet the man's eye.
"You failed to protect the honor of your family, Hephaistion."
"Yes…father, I failed you." He wavered nearly falling and Alexander started forward but Philip held him back.
"Turn and get on your knees, boy." He stood and stepped toward where Hephaistion had prostrated himself. Then in one quick movement her tore the chiton from Hephaistion's back and allowed a wicked looking, three strand lash to slip free of his clenched fist.
We'd all seen Hephaistion's scarred back, but we had assumed the lashes had been from some form of persecution for his father's stand against the corruption in the Athenian government. Before we could fully absorb what was going to occur the lash snaked out and drove Hephaistion, in his weakened state forward his battered face slamming into the stone floor. I can still see, in my minds eye, the blood there, the shape of it, a crescent of red on the pure white tiles. Alexander screamed and Philip restrained him. Turning him and grasping his face in his huge hands.
"Give him his honor, Alexander. Be strong."
The lash whistled again and again. Hephaistion had risen back up from the floor and never shed a tear, finally Amyntor was done. He dropped the bloodied whip in front of his son and strode from the room. I saw my king cry that day, and my prince, and most of my companions. I still wonder how it could have been that I was the only one incapable of shedding tears for Hephaistion, son of Amyntor. So ingrained was my hate. So well had Antipiter blackened my soul. I wonder, had my father been there would he have cried? The Ogre was never seen at court again.
Pha! Enough with the past! The Athenian is still in my way and my father still demands that I displace him! Do I have a choice? Do I dishonor 'my' father? Is it really any different, Hephaistion fighting for Amyntor's name and me trying to hate enough to appease my father? Something is not right with the bastard. I'm watching him ride and he's off his seat somehow. All my hate and jealousy aside Hephaistion can ride a horse with an unnatural beauty and erring elegance. It is said that Amyntor took him riding the day he was born. Everyday. To get the infant accustomed to the gaits of a horse, so they would be a natural part of the boy's very being. Here in Macedon we ride early but…It is said that the bastard rode before he walked; and rumored that when the Amyntors rode into Pella and the palace as refugees the four year old Hephaistion rode a cavalry mount of his own, supposedly the sire of Ajax, and was fully armed. He's off his seat now though. Milos keeps looking back at him as well. The boy's too smart for his own damn good. Why do I care. Isn't this exactly why I fell in behind him. I laugh into the wind and he actually turns and looks at me. He's not right.
Before I can try and decide if he's just exhausted, which is unlikely; I have seen him sleep on Ajax and ride for miles and miles his body naturally adjusting to the devil horse's rhythm, or sick, or injured, Ajax slips on a snow covered stone and sidles abruptly to the left. Hephaistion, to my astonishment, is pitched from the horse's back and to the right cracking the back of his head on a boulder as he hits the snow covered ground. I reign in my mount and jump down. Milos has beaten me there. Both of us are met with Ajax's slashing hooves as he stands guard over his fallen master. We both jump back and before I can stop myself I'm ordering Milos to remount and go forward and bring Cleitus and Alexander. The boy moves without question. I wait for them to return, and watch as blood seeps from the back of the pretty whore's head staining the snow. A part of me wants it to flow faster and some other, stifled, un-nurtured part of me can see him on his knees being flogged by Amyntor.
The drum of hooves through deep snow drags me back, Alexander is behind Cleitus. The big general rides right up to the screaming Devil horse. Ajax rears and goes after him. He ignores the threat and starts hollering.
"Get up boy! You will freeze to death down there! Hephaistion! Get you sad ass up! The battle will not wait for you lad!" He's screaming at the downed Athenian "Damn it!" He hollered as Ajax's hooves glance off his mounts flank drawing blood. He whips the maddened beast with the end of his reigns and wheels away. "Alexander! Get that horse out of here so we can get to him!" He knees his white mount to the left and out of the range of Ajax's hooves making room for Alexander who charges in and jumps from Bucephelus' back. "Damn you! You bastard beast of a horse! I will have your balls for supper. Alexander!"
"Ajax. Ajax. Easy now let me to him. Ajax." He grasps the devil horses bridal and tries to pull him off. The horse balks, bares its teeth in Alexander's face and snorts. Then squeals manically and tosses his head three or four times before reluctantly side stepping from Hephaistion's fallen form.
Hephaistion is stirring now and when he realizes he is down he screams out for his mount. The horse responded in like with a chilling whinny before jerking free of Alexander's grip and nuzzling the fallen bastard, Hephaistion.
Alexander again pulls Ajax aside. Milos and Cleitus drop down and lift up the fallen Athenian. He roughly shoves them away, turning back toward where Alexander has led Ajax.
"My horse! Bring my horse."
I am amazed that he's capable of standing. I can see the lump on his skull from ten paces off, and his face is a mask of blood. Again he shoves at Cleitus.
"Your hurt, you fool pup! Let me tend to it!" He grasps Hephaistion's face in his huge hands and studies the boys eyes. "Focus on me lad!" With a nod he motions for Alexander to look at the injury.
The prince parts Hephaistion's long hair and grimaces. "I will have to stitch it, Cleitus. It is deep."
"See too it!" He turns to the Boar and tells him to take half the company and forge ahead in search of a good camp. The group departs leaving Milos, Alexander, Cleitus, three new boys and myself in the rear.
I watch as Alexander tries to stitch his friend's wound. The fool fights him every step of the way. Refusing to be still, worrying over Ajax despite Milos' assurance the animal is fine. At one point Alexander stops his careful work and kneels in front of Hephaistion. Not caring how they appear to the rest of us he pulls Hephaistion into a strong embrace and speaks quietly into his ear. What ever he told the Athenian succeeded in calming him. In no time we were under way again only now Hephaistion rides behind Alexander on Bucephelus. Cleitus rode up behind the two boys and draped a heavy fur over Hephaistion's shoulders and Alexander pulled it tightly around them. Hephaistion had fallen asleep against the prince's back his bandaged head resting safely between Alexander's broad shoulder blades.
I was jealous. Jealousy! Of all the damned emotions that I could feel, watching the two companions ride along, the one that filled me was jealousy. I wanted what they had. I wanted a friend who's back I could lean on with such trust and security that I could let myself sleep. They had everything these two, and it rankled me. They had love, they had sex, they had trust and loyalty. Alexander had Hephaistion and what angered me the most, was that the more I was around them the less I wanted to believe my father's villainous accusations. This was not a simple friendship. This was not a case of Hephaistion kissing Alexander's ass for favors. There was a deep seated trust between these two and now reality of that love began to eat away at me even more than the hate my father had preached. Why should they have it and not me?
Then there was Milos, the little urchin! He'd just pledged himself to Hephaistion as if it were the most natural thing in the world. By the gods the little fiend had disobeyed a direct order, putting his career and life in jeopardy to save a man he'd only just met. What magic did Hephaistion possess. Truth be told, probably more men hated him than loved him but the ones who choose to love the Athenian did so with unwavering steadfastness.
In turn Hephaistion gave them his love and respect equally; except with Alexander. Between them the bond seemed to be wrought of some gift of the gods. I didn't buy their whole Achilles and Patroclus story. That they were somehow a modern version of the two great warriors, but at times like this I had to wonder.
My thoughts tumbled over and over the situation as we rode. Twice Hephaistion vomited dousing both him and Alexander. The prince was not bothered by the foul liquid and after getting Hephaistion situated simply continued on. If the Athenian ass was throwing up he was injured far more than he'd let on. I began to wonder what had happened to him, before Milos had found him and guided the exhausted man back to camp.
Night had fallen by the time we stumbled upon the Boar's makeshift camp. There would be no cave to protect us this night. We were going to have to maintain fires and huddle for warmth. We all went about the business of setting camp. I watched as Alexander and Milos slid Hephaistion from the great black's back. He was barley able to stand. They led him to the base of a wide trunked tree and sat him down against it out of the wind. Milos began a bright fire. I set my tent up close to their spot. I was always trying to be as near to them as possible as I tried to find ways to aid my father's plan. Alexander shot me a wicked glare but I glared back.
"No." I heard Hephaistion say as he waved off Milos' offer of warmed wine. "Ajax and Ox head, lad see to them first." The boy looked to Alexander and smiled
"Go now boy, your new master has spoken. See to his wishes."
"Alexander you have duties please go tend to them. You lead a party, not just me. I'm fine."
"You are not fine and maybe you have forgotten, silly Hephaistion but I am also the designated physician. You are quite stuck with me until I get you settled. Drink it."
"Won't stay down." Hephaistion muttered stubbornly. "Alexander my back, and shoulder sit me up a bit. Hurts a lot, I'm so damn cold."
I watched as Alexander pressed his palm against Hephaistion forehead, I swear the Athenian sighed at the contact and leaned into it. The prince studied his face for a moment and then yelled to me to come and aid him.
I held Hephaistion forward while Alexander stripped off the heavy fur and then Hephaistion's own fur followed by the man's armor leaving only his chiton. We gasped in unison at the sight before us.
Hephaistion's left shoulder was shredded to the bone. The cotton chiton had frozen into the gaping wound staunching the blood flow. He also had a huge chunk oh flesh out of the back of his left arm and off of his right hip.
"Cleitus!" I screamed with out hesitation. "Cleitus, come quick!"
Alexander looked at me his mouth open wide, the shock of the severity of Hephaistion's hidden wounds and my yell had stunned him into innaction.
"Hepahsition, what did this. Wolves, but how?"
"Found a small crevasse, crawled into it, built fire. Took off armor and furs to get warm, They came from the outside, no room to fight. Back to wall. Got dressed after killing three…others fled. Milos found me back on the trail. Knew I had to catch up. Hurts 'Ander, hurts. Go; you have…"
"By the gods Cassander what'r you bellowing…oh my god pup what have you gone and done. You boy, Curly, fetch us water and plenty of it. Hot. Alexander let us hope Aristotle taught you how to tend to this. You're mess lad. A mess. Is he fevered yet?"
"Yes, Cleitus help my get him near to the fire."
We all stood round as Cleitus, Alexander and Milos tended to Hephaistion's wounds. We were all familiar with the shredding of flesh by wild animals. Most of us had been mauled at least once during the hunt and bore our own scars. We also knew that the wounds Hephaistion bore were life threatening and potentially crippling if they healed badly. I was surprised once again by me feelings. I felt saddened to think that Hephaistion might come out of this too crippled to be a front line companion. It was his dream. His sole purpose in life was to stand at Alexander's side in battle. It's how they trained. How they lived. To be a single unit in all things. To fight as one. I knew my great aim in life, my duty, was to replace Hephaistion as Alexander's first companion but this was not a price I was willing to pay. I did not want to win like this. I turned, and had to walk away, as Hephaistion began to scream when the hot daggers were put to his torn flesh cauterizing the ghastly wounds. I retched until I shook. Sick from the stench of burnt flesh, and further sickened by the self realization that I could never replace the man lying in agony beside the fire. Not in Alexander's bed and not in battle.
Late into the third night at our camp I was awakened by quiet whispers coming from Alexander and Hephaistion's shelter. During the cauterization Hephaistion had blessedly passed out and stayed that way. He must be finally coming around I thought. Alexander was a talented healer and I was not surprised that his friend had fought off the fever and was able to awaken so soon. I lay quietly on my stomach, my head on my crossed arms and watched their shadowed shapes through the tent wall, illuminated by the full moon behind them.
"Shhh. Hepahsition you must still rest."
"I'm still cold."
"I know, my love, here let me hold you again. No. Don't fight me now. They're all huddled for warmth tonight, you fool. Even Cleitus and The Boar, if you can picture that." Alexander laughed quietly.
"You're dreadful, Alexander."
"And you must stop being so concerned about what others think of us, my love."
"Alexander, the camp has ears. My love… you shouldn't…"
He sounded completely spent. His normally certain voice was timid and strained. I worried that it was a sort of burst of strength before the end. I'd seen it before. Worry…Or was it hope?
"Hurts."
"I know."
"Cold."
"I know."
"Want you."
Now what had we here. This could be interesting, I thought. Not so near death then afterall. He wants his, Alexander. I smiled at my good fortune. Sex was no secret to us. We'd all seen each other do it with whores or other boys or each other. In the gymnasium or the showers, on tables at banquets. There was no real shame in it. Just a fact of our lives. I recalled seeing Ptolemy take a whore and never stop eating an apple. I saw Philotas, being fucked by an elder diplomat on his own father's couch, because Parminion wanted to seem loyal. I'd fucked a boy in front of the queen, at yet another wild banquet, and will never forget the flush of lust on her face. One wasn't a follower of Dionysus and a prude at the same time. She called for me after that and requested that I perform for her again. So watching one another in the act of sex was passe.
What isn't passe is the sex life of Alexander and Hephaistion. Conversly it is a contentious and bitterly argued, overly discussed and often times form of erotic stimulus. There was not a single man or boy in this camp that didn't wonder and had not at some point talked argued or fantasized about the two friends' sexual proclivities. If they deny it they are lying! Who took who? Was it rough? Was it womanly and soft? Did they actually fuck? We knew who was the larger. Hephaistion. By the gods the man was blessed. Not huge and not small just on the larger end of beautiful. I'd never seen him hard, but I'd dreamt of it. Who hadn't? He was in that aspect perfect as well. The two never touched in public, other than socially. Never took whores or boys or anyone. No kissing, hugging, nothing. They could sit on their couch in the middle of a raging orgy and not lay a finger on each other. That only fueled the gossip. By the gods, with all that pent up sexual arousal what 'did' they do when they finally were alone? Now, it seemed, I just might be privy to their little secret.
"You must rest."
"You give me strength. I need you. Please. Easy like you like it."
"You are hopeless, my love. You worry over prying ears and yet prying eyes do not frighten you?"
"The tent will hide us. Need your strength. So tired. Weak."
Rumor said that Alexander never denied Hephaistion anything. I watched as my prince shifted and leaned over Hephaistion. He kissed him on the lips and pulled back. Then kissed him again. It was a long deep kiss. Hephaistion's good arm was rubbing up and down Alexander's back. Again the kiss ended and Alexander rose to his knees and removed his tunic. Then he carefully removed Hephaistion's. The wounded man was too weak to sit up so as I watched Alexander began to pleasure his first companion.
The prince kissed Hephaistion's throat and chest. He suckled the man's tits like a babe. I could hear Hephaistion mewling softly and Alexander shushing him.
"But you know that drives me mad."
"Be still."
He worked his way down Hephaistion's stomach nuzzleing his navel and kissing the wallow beside his hip bone. For Hephaistion not to be able move must have been torturous. When Alexander took Hephaistion into his mouth I bit into my arm to silence the groan over desire that threatened to escape me. I was hard. Harder than I'd ever been. This wasn't fucking. This was some thing else entirely. Something I'd yet to experience. I ground my hips into my furs in agitation.
Alexander sucked lavishly on Hephaistion's cock and tickled the man's thighs with fingers. After what semed an eternity he stopped and straddled the injured man. Leaning down he kissed him.
"Your taste is too sweet, my love. No honey can rival it."
"And you, you nectar? Shall I test it too. To see? Compare." Alexander groaned.
I could not believe what I was seeing. These two peers of mine consumed by an act relegated to slaves and street wenches. Yet it was being done with such care and love. It was sensuous beyond anything I'd ever witnessed. Hephaistion now sucked on Alexander as the man knealt above him. My prince arched back his long blonde hair falling across his broad shoulders. With his good hand the Athenian stroked Alexnader's ass. As I watched excited to the point of pain, Hephaistion reached up with his right hand and without stopping his work on Alexnader's cock he allowed the prince to suck two fingers into his mouth. Their eyes never left one another's.
Oh, by the gods, to watch them was killing me. I wanted to touch myself but feared if I moved, I would give myself away. Such was the proximity of our tents. They sucked each other in unison for a while. Hephaistion his prince's cock and the prince Hephaistion's fingers. In desperation I plunged two fingers into my mouth mimicking the scene before me. Alexander groaned as Hephaistion pressed his slick fingers into his raised ass.
"Gods, love, are you up to this? Say no and I will kill you, my Hephaistion!" Hephaistion relinquished Alexander's cock.
"I want to be in you Alexander. To feel you tighten on my cock. Give me your strength, my beloved."
I looked on stunned as Alexander, heir of Macedon and if Philip had his way, to the Persian Empire, raised up a bit and with what seemed great reverence, lowered himself unbelievable slowly onto Hephaistion's cock. They stayed like that for a moment. Unmoveing just staring into one another's eyes. Then Alexander began to ride his Love. Love? Did I just call Hephaistion, Alexander's love. My excitement must be clouding my judgement. Love. What happened to whore and sycophant. Ass kisser? Love. They were so beautiful to watch. Alexander held a slow and easy pace, all the while still suckling Hephaistion's fingers.
"Close, Hephaistion! You are so, close! I can feel it!" He arched his hips a bit, and Hephaistion whined. "Come for me, my Hephaistion, my Patroclus, come for me let me feel your heat inside my body. Come."
The Athenian did. I wanted to but it seems as if I were stuck. Aroused beyond the the point of climax. The prince shuddered allowing the waves of Hephaistion's orgasm to sift through his body. He had not climaxed yet.
"Your turn my beauty. My love."
"Yes, now. Hephaistion are you sure?" A nod.
Alexander allowed his lover to suck on his fingers for a moment. All the while he was stroking him back to hardness. Gods the man is unbelievable.
"I love that about you, sweet Hephaistion, always up for more. Are you ready?"
Alexander had a difficult time entering him because of the wound to Hephaistion's hip. They worked it out and I was now watching him slowly and smoothly fuck the Athenian back into a controlled frenzy. They worked as one. Pushing and arching touching and moaning. All slow and gentle. As if they were milking out each and every sensation. As Alexander worked himself in and out of Hepahistion he leaned forward sucking and nipping Hephaistion's nipples. They came together without Alexander ever touching his lover's cock. I came as well. Harder than I'd ever come before. It was an overload for my senses. Physically and emotionally. I was also crying.
They stayed still for a long while, Alexander hunched over with his head on Hephaistion's bandaged chest. They were in no hurry to part but the cold forced them to crawl back into their thick furs wrapped in each others strong arms.
I lay awake now, quietly weeping for all that my father's hate has cost me. Tying to understand all the things that I have witnessed on this odd trip. What I'd observed was not base desire but a love and understanding between two souls so bound to one another that nothing will tear them apart. Not even death I'm afraid. Should Hephaistion perish or be taken from Alexander's side the equation will be broken and the magic that is our prince destroyed. I could no longer follow my father's wishes. Until I see Hephaistion as a true threat to the power of Macedon I will take no action against him. Athenian he may be, but he has proven to me that he is also one of the strongest, loyalist man I know. While I still have no desire to endure the drudgery of battle I have learned that for those who do, the beauty comes in having someone like Hephaistion waiting for you when the horror is complete.
Jealous? Yes, that, I still am. But what man wouldn't be? To be blessed with beauty and love and strength. Blessed with Alexander's love. Sex. We are beasts! the rest of us compared to them. My father will have to accept defeat. I can never be to Alexander what his Hephaistion is. Never. What my father has seen as merely a political allience between the two young men simply is not true. It is far more than that.
Too awake and edgy to sleep I roll over and replay the scene in my head. I groan as once again I am stirred to hardness. Should I go and rouse Philotos? He'll play. We have before. No, instead I pleasure myself as visions of Alexander and Hephaistion slip through my memory. I cannot help but wonder if I will ever share a bond so beautiful with another person.
It was two more days before Hephaistion could ride. He'd argued that he was fine and needed no coddling, but Cleitus refused him and used the time to train the new boys in various skills. Once again Alexander and him were keeping away from one another. At night they shared a tent by day it was all business. I found it hard to watch and finally confronted Alexander about it on our final night in camp.
"Alexander, tell me; how do you and Hephaistion manage it? To be so close and yet stay so distant in the public eye? By the gods man. I have seen the two of sit through orgies and never lay a hand on each other. Doesn't it drive you mad not to be able to touch him?"
He studied me. His gray eyes drilling into mine but I would not flinch. I know that he's thinking it's just Cassander toying with me, just trying to start a fight.
"You'd stoop to teasing me, Cassander? Hephaistion's injured, but well enough to manage your petty insults."
"Not a jibe, but an observation."
"I know that you watched us." His voice was cold. I realized then that I'd stolen something precious from them. Something sacred.
I froze. "You do? Watched at what?" That's it feel him out.
"Cassander, you will never have me. You will never have what I share with Hephaistion. Your father will never have his wish. Be wary of how you carry yourself. If gossip finds my ears, Antipiter aside, I will have your head. What I share with Hephaistion is ours. We keep it private. Yes, we both suffer for our love. But we do so willingly. Take heed in this, Cassander."
I wanted to tell him that I'd given up on my father's vain desire. I wanted to tell him that I respected what they shared, but once again, long ingrained, pride stilled my hand.
"You have my utmost secrecy my prince. Now then shall we go the column awaits us."
We rode off side by side. I knew then that I could never love or feign a love for my prince. What scared me to death though was the burgeoning swell of love and emotions that had for my life long rival; Hephaistion. I loved him. My father's long taught, jealousy and hatred had turned into a profound love and desire, above and beyond the boorish talk of the baths. I wanted him the way Alexander had him. That would never occur though. Once again my life, now rid of one false quest, would be burdened by yet another.