Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own not the boosh, the zoo, howard, vince, fossil, bollo, naboo, any other characters/locations etc etc etc..
"Thank you, Mr Fossil," Howard said, shutting the office door.
"Yeah. You screw this up Moon and I'll come at you like a cactus!" came the yank's reply. But Howard didn't care for Bob Fossil's total lack of faith in him. He was moving up in the world. In the ten years he'd been at the Zoo, today was the day all his hard work had been recognised. No more would he be just another nameless face in the crown. Howard T.J. Moon was on the verge of being a somebody!
Howard pushed open the door to the hut he shared with Vince, and immediately wished he hadn't. He couldn't see for clothes.. jeans, boots, belts, tops, shirts, ties.. the whole room looked as if it was the victim of some violent attack by the Fashion Brigade.
"Hey Howard," came Vince's voice from behind a large pile of hats. "Just thought I'd clear out my wardrobes.. What did Fossil want? Did he want you to put that dress on and dance for him again?"
"What do you mean, again? I've never danced for Fossil. I don't need to dance for Fossil. If anything, he should be dancing for me. I'm Howard Moon, and Howard Moon dances for nobody." Vince popped up from behind the hats, a cheeky grin spread across his face.
"That's not what Leroy said. Leroy said he saw you in a little glittery pink dress in Fossil's office."
"What does Leroy know? He dropped out of school at the age of eleven. The only qualification he got was Grade One trumpet, and even then he cheated. Leroy knows nothing."
"Leroy knows loads of stuff. Get this.. he can turn an orange into a clock. How cool is that? So what did Fossil want?"
"He wanted to reward me for my undying devotion to the Zoo.." Howard started, but before he could finish, Vince interrupted.
"Did you get a little trophy?"
"No, I didn't get a little trophy,"
"I did once. I got a tropthy for being the best zookeeper of the month. I had to sell it though. It was silver and it didn't look right on the mantlepiece 'cause I had red wallpaper at the time."
"There are more important things in life than trophies, Vince." Howard was getting increasingly annoyed with his best friend. He moved a pile of t-shirts off the sofa and sat down.
"Did you get a plaque then? Or a certificate?"
"No! It's nothing physical, but holds more value than any silver object ever can.." Howard drifted off, dreaming of the future which lay ahead of him.
"Is it gold then?"
"What! No, Vince, it's not gold! I got a promotion. A title. I'm no longer Howard Moon: anonymous zookeeper. Now, I'm Howard Moon: Head of Rodents."
Vince tried to surpress a giggle. "Does that mean you're King of the Rats?"
Howard ignored him. "You may laugh at me now. But one day.. I'll be head of the small mammals. Then I'll move on.. head of aviary.. head of aquatics.. I'l move up the ranks. One day I'm going to run this zoo, Vince. The animals will be able to roam free and live alongside each other in harmony.."
Vince switched off and turned back to his hats: Howard would be at it for hours, detailing the precise location of every little potted plant in his fluffy-bunny-filled zoo.
OK, so it's not finished yet (well.. its hardly started..) but let me know what you think/first impressions etc..
This is my first Boosh fic so please be gentle with me!