I'm setting myself up for failure! Whahh! .--. It's true this story has a horrible beginning, but I refuse to change it! Here's my horrible effort to make it better:

Naraku swirled his wine in the glass. "You know, I think our equipment is broken."

Sango laughed. "I think you're right. Kagome do you want the last piece of bread?" She watching Kagome stare at the bread in the middle of the table.

Nodding Kagome snatched the piece up and, resting her back against the curved booth, nibbled on the bread. She studied the restaurant 'Neko no Arigatu'. "Where am I? This is obviously not Kyoto... And... A shuttle took off, I was in it. And the black hole..." Realization struck. "I'm on the other side!" she shouted. The restaurant's normal thrum of chatter died as the occupants looked around for the source of the yell.

"She's a little tipsy." Explained Naraku holding up his red wine. The talking resumed to normal.

Sango set down her glass of water, "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to discharge Kagome so early." Deciding that asking Kagome would be better she asked. "Kagome? What do you mean: 'I'm on the other side'?"

Kagome started to explain but the waitress, decked out in a fuzzy neko eared headband, a gray cat suit and a poofy gray tail, came. Setting down Kagome's soup and chicken last she pranced off- literally. Naraku, completely unperturbed by Kagome's earlier outburst dug into his 'salmon oniguri special'.

"Well," Kagome picked at her chicken breast. "I don't think I come from this world. And if I do I don't think I'm from an alternate universe..."

Polishing off his second oniguri Naraku reached for his third, "That explains a lot. Sango can you be a dear and pass me some lemon? Thanks, now Kagome were do you think you're from?"

"Well Earth."

"Well, yes but what galaxy? Um, where on earth are you from?"

"I'm from the Milky Way... and Kyoto. At least Kyoto's where I live, I'm not sure where we launched." "It feels like it was so long ago. But it wasn't... It took us... We didn't go through the right black hole! We couldn't of. It would've taken months even with the tech we had aboard, maybe we went through a wormhole instead!" Getting up, because she had a terrible urge to pee, Kagome promptly collided into someone.

"Ow." The smashee whined as she held her chin.

Kagome rubbed her head. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Obviously bitch! You should watch where I am more carefully because if you'd chipped one of my teeth or I get a bruise your little trap'll be smashed into-" Kikyou finally looked at her 'attacker' and saw her face occupying space that wasn't a mirror. "Well, I see you have taste after all." Grabbing the younger girl's chin she completely forgot about the 'mishap' from earlier. "Who's your plastic surgeon? This is... very good." shefinished with minor contempt. "But you're eyes. Mine are lighter, you should've gotten better contacts. That's okay though. I can get some for you. Because I'm nice." She let Kagome's chin go. "Well, I guess you already know my name is Kikyou, what's my biggest fan's name though?" Kikyou patted down her knee length neon blue and yellow dress.

"My name?" Kagome looked placidly calm, but her eyes were dancingin flames.

Naraku was snorting into his wine and Sango had a large grin on her face. The snorting caught Kikyou's attention. "Are these the people you're with? A-" she looked at Sango's nurse uniform and glanced at Naraku's slim form. "gay and a doctors whore?"

Naraku silently set down his glass and looked at Sango's enraged face. "She's not a whore."

Kagome turned around and without a word picked up Naraku's somewhat full wine bottle. Naraku looked hurt and Sango looked like she was ready jump for joy.

"Where, my idol, is the bathroom?" Kagome took on the slightly bored look Kikyou had.

"Over there. Now I'm going to get my purse and you can drive me away from this dump." Before Kikyou could turn around Kagome had dumped the entire bottle of red wine all over her painful colored dress.

"I don't like those colors together, the red will help." Kagome strode over to the bathroom door looked at Kikyou, clucked her tongue, and went in.

One look at the sopping Kikyou had most of the restaurant's costumers nearly rolling with laughter. The rest of them were trying to suppress the urge to do the same.

Naraku, who was giggling, stopped, looked at Sango and told her. "I'm not gay."

Neko no Arigatu means Cat Thanks (odd name but I named it so HA HAHA HA!)
Oniguri is a rice ball (mmm!) the one that Naraku's eating happens to have salmon in it (mmm!)

–Oops. I guess Kikyou isn't nice in this fanfic Sorry for the Kikyou lovers. What I have in mind requires a snotty-rich Kikyou not a nice (before death) one.
I'm so sorry it took so long. If it wasn't the multiple writer blocks it was the multitude of guestsand trips... Or recovering from an attacking billy goat. Ouch!
Alright to all who reviewed so far... all six of them:

1. inashosetai
Yes, you are. And thanks.

2. Inu-and-Kag-eva
I guess I did? Um... oops...

3. - 4. PD and KGIM
Thanks I'm glad you like it.

5. PoutyHanyou
I really like AU's because then I don't really have to remember what happened during the series

6. AngelnoDarkness
thanks

I feel terrible! January? February? Has it really taken me 'till August?
Sorry. I'm so sorry.