Many thanks as usual for all your kind reviews – they really do encourage me. Here's chapter 10 – I hope you enjoy. I have chapter 11 almost done and the rest of the story roughed out. In two weeks I leave for New Zealand where I am staying for 6 months, though my disk will be coming with and I hope to complete the rest of the story. Thanks as always to my beta-reader Dee – you're a star!
CHAPTER TEN
The Lady had sent a healer to the City gates to meet them and Haldir allowed the muscles he had been holding so tensely to relax slightly. At his command, the elves carried Tala carefully to the flet she had occupied previously and laid her gently on the bed. Orophin had cast a worried glance at his brother, which Haldir barely noticed, before ushering the other elves from the room and leaving Tala alone with the healer and his elder sibling.
During the journey back, Tala had lapsed into a deep sleep from which Haldir could only hope she would eventually awaken. She lay motionless on the bed where she had been placed, her pallid skin making the vile orc blood smeared over her face and garments seem all the more black and offensive.
Grim-faced and silent, the healer turned to her task. Haldir hovered at a respectful distance, feeling strangely helpless. Tala was washed quickly and efficiently of the blood and dirt and her injuries bandaged. The torn tunic and leggings were removed and replaced with a light-weight and almost translucent white gown. She had occasionally moaned softly but otherwise remained oblivious to the activity going on around her. The healer had tutted and shook her head over the wounds hidden by Tala's tunic, and discovered a broken arm – the same one incidentally that Tala had dislocated saving Haldir's life.
A short time later, the Lady swept into the dimly lit room with her usual quiet grace and went to the bed, her elegant fingers sweeping dark hairs from Tala's face. She looked down on her with great compassion before bending to lightly kiss her forehead. Galadriel had held a low conversation with the healer and had smiled gently at Haldir as she left, her hand resting momentarily on his arm as she passed, but had said nothing to him.
Haldir did not ask her if Tala would live, for deep in his heart he feared the answer. She was still grieving for the Rivendell elf – what was there to keep her here? He felt a brief stomach-churning moment of despair and pushed it aside, determined not to think on it.
The healer, an elleth with eyes almost as ancient and wise as the Lady's, straightened the covers over Tala and turned to leave, eyeing the Marchwarden as she did so.
"I have done all I can. Sleep must do the rest. I will return in the morning but send for me if there is any change." she told him grimly.
Once the healer had left, he drew a chair from the side of the room close to the bed and sat, gazing intently at Tala's face for any sign that she might awake. Her alabaster cheeks glowed rosily but he knew that was just the effect of the candlelight and bowed his head in grief.
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Haldir sat up sharply; he must have drifted for a few moments. He took a second to realise there was a low murmur in the room. Tala was moving restlessly on the bed, muttering softly. As he looked, her head rolled in his direction and suddenly her dark eyes were staring into his, full of pain and fear.
Haldir's heart leapt into his throat. "Tala!"
He jumped up from the chair but as he drew closer to the bed he could see that she was still unconscious. He reached down and took hold of her icy hands in an effort to try and calm her but it did not seem to make any difference. The murmuring grew louder and he bent closer to her to try and make out the words.
"Celedir! No, please not Celedir." Tala moaned and her hands were tugged from Haldir's grasp as she turned away from him. Her words were clearly audible and a single tear rolled down her cheek.
It was as if an arrow had pierced his heart. Even now, in her delirium, she thought of Celedir. Her dead love. He returned to the chair and sat stoically, re-taking her hand while she called out incomprehensibly and wept, for what seemed an age. Nothing he attempted seemed to sooth her and his heart bled for her pain. Somewhere in her dreams, he thought, she must be re-living the moment when she had discovered his death.
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Tala's dreams were dark. Across a flat plain, she and Nahar galloped, hunted by dark shadows, the wind howling menacingly around the two. The night was black as pitch, no stars, no moon. The borders of the forest, where they would be safe, where Haldir would be waiting, never seemed to draw closer but remained tantalisingly out of reach. She looked behind her and could make out no features, only shades. Were these orcs? Or something else?
The scene, with dizzying suddenness, switched to Rivendell. She was sat with Arwen and the other ellith of her court. Sunlight streamed in through the great windows and she could hear the usual bustle of Rivendell going about its daily life. In a far corner of the Hall, Celedir spoke with Lord Elrond. As she raised her head from her book to look across, they both turned their heads and smiled. She blushed and returned to her reading.
Celedir finished his conversation and strode across to her. He was dressed in his dark green warrior's tunic and leather riding boots, his sword and scabbard already secured around his waist.
"I must go. The others are waiting for me." The dark haired elf looked down on her with a tender smile and put out his hand to raise her to her feet so that they could kiss goodbye. She smiled back at him before offering her lips to his. They had done this many times before. Yet, somehow, on this occasion, she suddenly felt a deep sense of foreboding as she watched him stride from the room. She sat back down and picked up her book.
The scene around her changed in an instant and she was alone in the echoing Hall. Noise assaulted her. There was shouting and the clatter of horses' hooves on cobbles. Outside elves called in urgent voices and footsteps pounded toward the courtyard.
Tala rose from the chair and the book slipped from her hands onto the floor, as if in slow motion.
She raced to the door, holding her skirts out of the way of her feet, and caught hold of the doorframe to slow herself. Hands tried to hold her back but she pushed them away blindly. In the centre of the yard, a horse, a white stallion, proud but in a state of dishevelment, danced in distress while elves tried to calm it.
Her breath caught in her throat and for a second dizziness overcame her. The whinnying of its suffering came to her as if through water, across a great distance.
"Nahar?" A voice spoke inside her head, the tone confused and dreamlike, and she realised it was her own.
She tried to go to him, to calm him, but somehow her eyes remained fixed on the burden flung across the horse and, as she moved forward, she stumbled and sank to her knees. Across the broad white back lay a body. The elf's dark hair flowed nearly to the ground and the hands fell limply on either side. The horse protested the indignity of its use, and of the death of its rider, by whirling and avoiding restraining hands.
"Celedir! No, please not Celedir." Tala heard herself moan. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see tears streaming down the face of an elleth who was looking down at her with love and compassion. Erứvë, Celedir's sister. They fell into each other's arms, Erứvë kneeling by her side. Uruvon, his brother, had finally managed to calm the stallion and several elves were lifting the lifeless body down.
"Tala." She turned in a daze towards the voice. For some reason they had laid the body on a stone table and Erứvë was proffering her a jug of water and indicating she should wash the body. She poured the sparkling liquid over the hair as if mesmerised and watched the black orc blood wash from it, slowing turning it silver blond. The jug fell from her grasp and smashed violently upon the pavement. It was no longer Celedir who lay dead on the cold stone but the Marchwarden of Lothlorien.
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Tala cried out.
"No! It cannot be. Please say it is not."
Haldir leapt to her side and took her shoulders in his hands, trying to sooth her, trying to ease her back onto the bed. He murmured soothingly to her and this time his voice seemed to reach her. She quieted and relaxed slightly, allowing him to place her back onto the bed and pull the covers over her.
He stood beside her bed for a few moments, looking down at her, willing her with all his heart to be well. He ran his fingers over the soft skin of her cheek, cold and pale, in the lightest of touches.
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Haldir sat; never leaving Tala's side for the next couple of days, comforting her in her disturbed moments when she would cry out and writhe as if in agony, sitting quietly with a book when she was more restful, though the inactivity chafed at him.
Rumil looked into the room occasionally and the Lady sent one of her Sentinel's daily to ask if she required anything.
On the fifth day, when the healer made her morning visit, she flipped back the covers to check Tala's injuries and nodded slightly.
She pressed her hand against the elleth's forehead and turned to Haldir with a smile. "She seems quieter. I believe the shadow has passed."
Haldir breathed a heavy sigh of relief and looking at Tala could now see some faint colour in her otherwise ivory face. She had been sleeping without trouble during that night and he had hoped…
Rumil came to stand by Haldir's side – he had accompanied the healer to the flet that morning, hoping for better news. "Haldir, you should get some rest. Come brother, I will sit with her in your stead." he coaxed.
The Marchwarden hesitated for a moment before looking up into his brother's eyes to see the compassion and tenderness there. He nodded and wearily grasped Rumil's hand as he stood.
"Send for me at once if there is any change."
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Tala opened her eyes slowly, for although the light in the room was dim they were still dazzled, and took a moment to focus.
An elf sat by the side of the bed, his blond head bent over a book. He had not yet noticed that she was awake. He was clad in a midnight blue tunic, unlike his usual gray and she thought distractedly that the colour suited him.
"Haldir?" she murmured.
The head lifted in answer and the pair of silver-gray eyes which looked back at her with relief and affection was similar, but not the ones she sought.
"Rúmil." She smiled weakly, trying not to show her disappointment.
"Tala." His voice was gentle. He stood and put his hand gently over hers, looking down upon her with a smile. "I will fetch the healer." Before she could say another word he had sprung from the room.
Tala closed her eyes painfully and whispered "Haldir" as a tear leaked out through her lashes.
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She must have fallen asleep again, for when she awoke she could hear soft voices, and peering through her lashes examined the room. In a far corner stood the Lady of Light and her Marchwarden; Haldir standing with his back to her. Haldir. She suddenly felt an overwhelming yearning for him to take her in his arms. To surround her with his presence. To make her feel safe.
The Lady's voice was melodic and gentle. "I have informed Lord Elrond that she is recovering but they are already on their way from Rivendell and cannot be recalled. See that there is someone on the border to greet them and bring them straight here, Haldir. No doubt they will be most grateful for the latest news."
And with that Galadriel swept from the room, leaving Haldir standing thoughtfully where she had left him for a few moments.
They? Who was on their way from Rivendell? But all thoughts were pushed from her mind when the Marchwarden turned to find her watching him.
"Tala. You are awake." he said gently. He came to her bedside and looked down on her with a quiet smile. She felt suddenly embarrassed as she recalled the circumstances of her leave-taking and lowered her eyes.
Haldir put out his hand to touch hers and then drew it back, without making contact. The days of her unconsciousness had given him time to think - and time to distance himself from her. He could not think to rival this Celedir, an elf who still haunted her thoughts, who still had her heart – even in death. No doubt the Rivendell visitors would take her back to her home and he would never see her again. He stifled the ache in his heart as best he could. It was for the best.
"How are you feeling?" He sat down in the chair beside her that Rumil had vacated and gazed at her compassionately.
Tala was able to give a slight smile as she looked at him shyly. "Quite well, surprisingly." she responded lightly. "I don't think I'll need sleep again for quite some while."
She looked up at him. She wished he would just take her in his arms. The feeling was so strong it must be evident to anyone. Could he not see it in her eyes?
"You have mended while you slept." Haldir rose awkwardly and went to stand by the window. His voice was soft. "I am afraid that your horse…"
"Nahar? What of him?" Tala asked with sudden dread.
"He did not survive."
"No!" she cried out and tears began to fall down her cheeks.
"Your sword and bow were also lost."
"I am not so concerned with the loss of the sword. I never learned to wield it properly anyway."
"If it is any consolation, we killed the remaining orcs that attacked you."
She tried to smile weakly through her tears. "It is not but thank you."
"We can replace your bow and find you another horse to return to Rivendell on." he said, distantly.
Is that why he thought she was so upset? That she wanted to return to Rivendell and leave him. He did not understand.
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Nahar was all I had left of…of Celedir." Tala turned her head away to stare at the blank wall opposite.
"Celedir was my…" she paused, unsure of how to continue but Haldir forestalled her.
"Galadriel has explained to me."
She turned back and looked at his back with surprise, but continued "Nahar was Celedir's horse. I asked Lord Elrond for him after ... I was the only one who could tame him."
"Lord Elrond has sent someone to be with you. Your…Celedir's sister, I believe, is on her way, and her brother. They will be here before nightfall tomorrow."
"Erứvë?" she exclaimed with joy.
He nodded to her uncomfortably and turned to leave.
"Haldir."
He stopped, one hand resting on the door handle.
"Thank you. For saving my life." Her mind immediately flashed back to the moment in his talan when he had asked if he had ever thanked her for doing the same for him.
The Marchwarden bowed slightly. "It was nothing. My duty, merely." He paused. "And a debt repaid."
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Her brow furrowed in hurt at his words after he had left. A debt repaid. Is that all she had been to him?
Tala pondered this for a moment before turning her mind deliberately to happier thoughts. Erứvë was coming and would be here soon. She longed to see her again – it seemed an age since they had parted. She thought on the elleth with affection. Since Celedir's death they had become so close, at first a mutual grief which had grown into something deeper - Erứvë was her sister in all but name. It was Erứvë – and Arwen – who had made her seek life again.
Tala sighed. Her body ached and her wounds still pained her. Despite her words to Haldir she felt sleep closing around her again and accepted its embrace gratefully.
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"The Lady Tala is having a nightmare."
"Send for a healer." Haldir said levelly.
"But she calls for you, brother." Haldir looked up from the arrow he was mending to see Rumil looking at him quizzically. His brother read him better than anybody. He shook his head and returned to the arrow, his jaw set stiffly.
"We are in the City now. There are others more qualified to heal her than I."
Rumil hesitated for a moment as if waiting for his brother to change his mind and then left the talan without a word. Haldir could hear him running off along the pathway.
Haldir placed the arrow carefully on the table and sat motionless, thinking. He would not allow himself to love an elleth whose heart was already taken. That way only led to pain. There were plenty of other ellith in Lothlorien. "But none like her." a voice whispered in his mind. He pushed the thought aside but got to his feet, sighing. He needed to speak to Rumil about the new arrivals anyway.
He pushed open the door of the small talan to find it crowded. The healer sat on the side of Tala's bed trying vainly to calm her as she fought unknown opponents in her sleep; Galadriel, Rumil, and one of the other healers looking helplessly on, Galadriel had a look of deep concern on her face which lifted a little as she turned to the door and saw her Marchwarden arrive. One of the Lady's Sentinels stood impassively to the side, awaiting his Lady's orders. Another elf bustled in that moment with herbs from the storeroom.
Haldir waved the healer to one side and took her place on the edge of bed. Tala was pale and restless, murmuring under her breath, occasionally putting out her hands and batting the air with them, as if fighting off an invisible foe. He captured her hands gently in his own; they were frozen again.
"I think you should all leave." he said shortly, without turning around. He heard the healers begin to protest but the Lady quickly hushed them and soon the room behind him was silent. He hoped Galadriel would forgive his discourtesy.
Tala's nightmare was getting worse. She began to cry out and her hands were wrenched from his grasp as they flailed. "Haldir!" she cried out and shot upright in her bed, suddenly wide awake, and after a few seconds began to weep bitterly. Haldir took her in his arms and held her silently until she stopped shuddering.
"I am here." he said quietly.
She clung to him as if drowning, neither of them saying a word. Tala felt herself begin to relax in the heat of his body and the comforting protection of his arms. She had been dreaming he was being attacked by orcs and she had tried to come to his aid but could not move. She shivered at the remembrance and he drew her from him to look at her. She gazed steadily into his gray eyes, thinking how beautiful they were.
"Do you want to tell me of what it is you dream? Perhaps I can help." His face was sombre.
She hesitated for a moment and then lied, lowering her eyes to trace the pattern on the bed covering, elanor and mallorn leaves intertwined in gold and green.
"I was being attacked again – and my bow broke – I had no way of defending myself."
He nodded thoughtfully.
"Do you wish to go back to sleep or shall I get someone to sit with you?" At her look he added quickly "I have duties I must attend to."
"I think I would prefer to be alone." she said coolly, turning her face away from him and lying back down.
He stood up and bowed slightly. "As you wish." And with that he left.
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Tala tossed and turned, wanting to sleep and yet frightened of what sleep might bring. She had had her fill of seeing Haldir being attacked, in pain, dying and herself unable to help him. Why was he being so cold to her? Had she mistaken the feelings she thought they had shared that night after he had saved her. She had believed that he cared for her. She recalled his earlier words "A debt repaid." Was that all it was?
She was beginning to wish she had not been so stubborn and had taken up his offer of having someone sit with her when the door of her talan opened softly and she heard quiet footsteps across the floor. She turned to see Erứvë coming towards her, stepping lightly as if afraid of waking her. A look of joy crossed the blonde elleth's face and she hurried the last few steps to come to the bed.
"Tala! I thought you were asleep!" She smiled at Tala and knelt by the bedside so their faces were almost level.
"Erứvë!" Tala answered with equal elation. "I did not think to see you until evening."
Erứvë smiled happily at the elleth she thought as of a sister. "It is evening."
Tala looked with surprise at the window and indeed saw that twilight had surrounded the trees of Lorien. She must have slept then, Tala thought distractedly, but she did not remember doing so. Thankfully she did not recall any nightmares either.
Erứvë spoke softly, her green eyes flooded with concern. "How are you, Tala?"
"Better. The healers here are wonderful. Though obviously some things will take longer to mend."
"Rumil has told us of what happened." She glanced behind her at the doorway, and just outside on the landing Tala could see Rumil and Erứvë's brother talking animatedly, Uruvon frowning and shaking his head.
"Uruvon thinks that they should have sent someone to accompany you back to Rivendell. That you should not have been allowed to leave unaccompanied." Erứvë whispered in explanation.
Tala's brow wrinkled in irritation. "I left hurriedly, the Galadhrim are not at fault. Besides, I am no elfling and can take care of myself – mostly." she added with a smile at Erứvë's pointed glance.
Uruvon had been part of the reason why she had been more than happy to take up Lord Elrond's request to travel to Lorien. The last few months he had begun to irk her somewhat, interfering in parts of her life she believed he had no right to, questioning her judgement, advising her and becoming irritable when she did not follow his suggestions. She had begun to feel constrained by him. It seemed wherever she went in Rivendell she saw his censorious face.
"Uruvon!" she called, in an attempt to spare Rumil further disapproval. The elf turned and, seeing her awake, came striding into the room.
"Tala. I am glad to see you." and the concern on his face was certainly genuine. He came to the foot of the bed and stared sternly at her, examining her face for signs of hurt.
"Please, do not harangue poor Rumil." she requested evenly, smiling past Uruvon at the warden who was standing impassively at the door, "I doubt that they would have let me leave alone if they thought I was in any danger." She shrugged. "I had made it here alone, without incident. There was no reason to think the return journey would be any different."
Uruvon frowned and shook his head disapprovingly. "I asked Lord Elrond not to send you – for the journey was dangerous. You should never have been travelling alone."
Tala bridled at his arrogant tone. "I am not an elfling to be wrapped in soft blankets and never allowed from home, Uruvon." She raised her chin proudly. "I can beat you at the targets everytime."
"Even elves cannot shoot so well in the dark, Tala." the elf commented with a faint sneer. He never called her sister as Erứvë did.
Erứvë hushed them both, it was in her nature to placate. "Tala is still recovering from her wounds. This is neither the time nor the place for such harsh words."
Uruvon bowed his head in stiff acknowledgement and sat awkwardly upon the chair, staring at Tala until she felt slightly self-conscious. Rumil stood by the door, his arms folded, glaring at the Rivendell elf. Tala moved uncomfortably under Uruvon's unremitting gaze and turned away, gazing at Erứvë.
"So," Tala said, forcing her voice to sound merry, taking the elleth's hand in hers, "tell me everything that has happened while I have been away."