I had been living with the Spencers for several weeks now. One day after school I was in the schoolyard talking to Zady and Lizette. The conversation was boring me, so I started looking around. A strange man was coming down the steps of the mission, and I squinted so I could see his face better. He looked slightly familiar, but didn't look like a highlander, so I moved a little closer. "Oh!" I gasped. It was my pa!
"Crystal Allen?" he said questioningly.
I started toward him and said cautiously "Yes, but I'm Crystal Brown now... sir."
Even though this man was my father, I hardly remembered him, so I couldn't call him "pa." I gripped the branch of a tree that stuck out. We hadn't heard from my father for years, and suddenly he showed up.
"I been looking for you, girl. I went back to where you used to live, but you weren't there, but that neighbor lady next door told me where you'd run off to."
"I didn't run off... pa, but I didn't have anywhere else to go!" I protested. "I thought maybe I could find kin of yours here."
"Who you stayin' with?"
"Uncle Jeb and Aunt Fairlight. They've been real kind to me."
"Well, I won't have it." he stated shortly.
"Have what?"
"You being beholden to kin of mine. I've made arrangements for you elsewhere."
Elsewhere? How could I leave Cutter Gap? This place was my home now, I had come to love it, even with its crudeness and dirt. "But pa, you don't understand..."
"I understand one thing, and that's that you can't come with me. You're to live at the mission house now, I'm paying them for your keep. A Miss Henderson agreed to look after you. I cain't take you with me, but I cain't stay put in one place, girl, I'm a traveler. Nothing ties me down." Pa stopped, as if the long speech had tired him. I had heard only one thing. I was to live at the mission, and the Quaker Lady was my keeper.
"No, pa, I already have somewhere to live... you can't send me to the mission..."
"They're decent folks, and it'll do you good to learn some manners, with you contradictin' your pa like that. Where are your things?"
"At the Spencers." I said with a sigh, my throat growing tight. I could see it would be no use to argue, but how could I stand it? Pa obviously knew nothing about my suspicion of Quakers.
"Well, get them and bring them here. I got to leave on the next train from El Pano. I'll be waiting here when you get back, if you get a move on."
"Don't you want to come with me?"
"Naw, it'd be best if we left things the way they were. Go on, git."
I turned to go the Spencers and saw Zady and Lizette standing there, wide-eyed. Zady followed me silently. Neither of us spoke, until Zady asked "do you want me to run ahead and tell momma?" I nodded, thinking it would be best. I didn't feel like talking now.
When I entered the Spencer house Aunt Fairlight came up to me and gave me a hug. "We'll miss havin' you here, Crystal." I said nothing, but grabbed the bag Zady held out to me that held my things. Aunt Fairlight then ran out the door and down the path. I watched, slightly amazed. I'd never known a grown woman to run so fast.
I trudged down the path, not wanting to go to the mission. I wished pa could take me along with him. It would be like traveling with a total stranger, though, but... all I could think of was my dislike for my accommodations.
I knew Zady had followed me, but hadn't thought to talk to her since I was lost in my own thoughts. Before I entered the mission yard she stopped me.
"Bye, Crystal." she said shyly.
"Don't worry, Zady, I'll see you every day for school, and more if you'll let me." I blurted out, and she nodded quickly, then looked down.
When she raised her head again she said "You're so lucky, gettin' to live with Miz Christy."
"I suppose." I shrugged, not willing to look on the bright side of things. I walked reluctantly into the mission. My pa was there talking to Aunt Fairlight. She was smiling and looked radiant.
As soon as I came in my pa said "Fairlight, it's time for me to leave." He strode over to me and said "I'll write every month and send your money for board." He awkwardly placed a hand on my shoulder and left quickly.
I followed him to the door. I wanted to cry out "wait, pa!" but knew it would do no good. Aunt Fairlight put an arm around my shoulder.
When pa was out of sight, she said "It was good ta see him again, ta know for sure he's alive."
I really didn't care, but didn't want to hurt Aunt Fairlight's feelings by saying so. I clung to her, not wanting her to leave, but after a few minutes she said "I best go home and get supper on."
She left me standing in the door. I felt very alone. The only person I knew in this house were Ruby Mae and Miss Christy, and they were no where around. I didn't know where I would sleep, or what to do next.
"Crystal?" a voice from behind me said, but I didn't turn around. I knew it was the Quaker Lady. When I heard nothing for a few minutes I turned, figuring she had gone. But she was still there.
"Come with me, and I'll show you where you'll be sleeping. Are those all of your things?"
"Yes, did you expect me to have more? I'm not rich, you know." I returned rudely.
"No, I was asking for politeness' sake." she said quietly. Even though I didn't like this lady, I was embarrassed because of the kind way she'd answered my impolite remark.
I followed the Quaker Lady up the stairs. "You may call me Miss Alice-- everyone else at the mission does."
"Yes ma'am." I said, although I had no intention of doing so. One thing I had noticed was she didn't speak with 'thees and thous' like most Quakers.
"You and Ruby Mae will share a room-- this will be your bed," the Quaker Lady said when we entered the bedroom. There's a few empty drawers in the dresser, and you can use some of the empty hooks on the wall for your shawl and nightdress. If you need anything, just ask." She smiled, and before she left the room added "I hope you'll begin to feel at home here."
I stuffed my clothes into the drawers and sat down on the bed. It was at moments like these, when I felt insecure and alone, that I missed my ma. I fought back the tears that came to my eyes-- I would not cry.
I wandered downstairs. Ruby Mae met me in the kitchen. "Oh Crystal, ain't it wonderful? I've always wanted a sister to share a room with, and you'll be my sister now, so we can share secrets at night, and whisper together, and it'll be so much fun!"
I shrugged. I didn't want a sister-- especially if she was going to talk her head off and be bossy.
"Ruby Mae, set the table." A woman with straight dark hair came into the kitchen. She didn't look too happy to me, rather grim.
"Yes ma'am, Miz Ida."
"Who is this young lady?" Miss Ida asked, nodding in my direction.
"Oh, that's Crystal. She's livin' with us now."
"Another mouth to feed." Miss Ida sighed.
I felt unwelcome, so I went out into the living room. A black grand piano stood in a corner. I walked up to it cautiously. I'd only seen a piano once, at a store in the city. When a lady played it music had come out of it. I pressed down on one key, and a note sounded.
I heard Miss Ida call from the kitchen. "Crystal, don't play that thing now. I'm making supper and need to think."
Startled, I jumped up and went outside. Reverend Grantland, the preacher, was coming around the house carrying a bucket of water in each hand. "Good afternoon. Christy's out back at the pump, she could use some help carrying water." I was surprised he seemed to know who I was and accepted me.
Miss Christy saw me coming and handed me two buckets. "How long has it been since you've had a bath?" she asked.
"Since I came to the Cove, I suppose." The Spencers hadn't bathed since I'd been there, so neither had I.
"Well, you'll need to take one before supper. David has started to fill up the bathtub out back. Take these buckets out, and I'll heat one up over the stove."
It took several trips to the pump to half fill the tin bathtub, but finally it was done. I got a clean dress from upstairs and took it down with me. Miss Christy handed me a towel. "Do you need any help?" she asked.
"No ma'am, thank you."
"When you've finished, I can brush out your hair if you like," she offered, and I gladly agreed. It was always a chore to comb through my long tangled hair.
There were six of us at the supper table: Reverend Grantland, Miss Christy, Miss Ida, Ruby Mae, the Quaker Lady and me. Everyone except Reverend Grantland slept in the mission house; he had a bunkhouse out back. I was quiet at the table, listening to the Quaker Lady and Reverend Grantland discuss an upcoming trip. I became excited. It sounded like the Quaker Lady was leaving for five days! Too bad it wasn't for another two days yet.
"Crystal, you're supposed to help me wash the dishes." Ruby Mae informed me after supper. "After this we'll take turns."
I half-listened to Ruby Mae's chatter as we washed and dried. When we were done I went off in search of Miss Christy. "Miss Christy, I'm going over to the Spencers." I said. She was buried deep in a stack of books.
"Okay, be back before dark."
"That doesn't give me much time." I argued. She looked up.
"Be back before eight, then."
It was very dark when I left the Spencers. I stepped cautiously out onto the dark trail. I wanted to ask if one of my cousins could walk me home, but hadn't wanted to confess that I was afraid of the dark. Instead I ran almost all of the way. What if the moonshiners the train conductor had told me about were around?" I stopped on the porch of the mission to catch my breath before I went inside.
The Quaker Lady, Ruby Mae and Miss Ida were in the living room. Miss Ida was helping Ruby Mae with her knitting, and the Quaker Lady was reading out of a thick book. She looked up when I entered. "If you could sit down, Crystal, we have a few things to discuss." I sat down on the edge of a chair. "I'll tell you about a typical day here first. Breakfast is at seven, and dinner at five-thirty. Miss Ida does the majority of the housekeeping, but you will be expected to help out with the laundry, cleaning, dishes and perhaps some cooking. Do you have any culinary skills?"
Figuring she meant cooking, I said "a little. Ma taught me some things."
The Quaker Lady nodded, and added "You will also need to keep your room neat."
I nodded, and she excused me. I went upstairs to my room and flopped down on my bed. Now I had all of these rules I needed to follow-- what a pain. The work I was used to, since I had done a lot, especially when Ma was sick. But now I would be living in the same house as the Quaker Lady. I flung the pillow across the room, then went to pick it up. I didn't want to bring anyone up-- especially not a certain someone.
As the next few days went by I did all I could to avoid the Quaker Lady. Fortunately she was usually busy, gone on some nursing assignment or at one of her other schools.
One evening I heard voices downstairs, and followed them to the top of the stairs. I sat in the middle of the steps, half-hidden. The Quaker Lady and Miss Christy sat in the living room. The Quaker Lady had her hand on Miss Christy's, but she was talking solemnly.
"Again, thee have gotten carried away. I realize thou art trying to help, but..."
Miss Christy dropped her head. "I was... I thought the families would profit from them, but I never thought..."
"That's the problem; thee never thought."
At that, I jumped from the stairs; I was enraged. How could the Quaker Lady berate Miss Christy, who was so sweet, in such a manner? Both women looked surprised when I ran into the living room.
"How dare you!" I blurted out, facing the Quaker Lady and looking at her eyes for the first time. "Can't you just leave her alone? You're scolding Miss Christy, and she hasn't even done anything wrong!" I finished, and stopped breathing hard. A long moment of silence followed.
"I'll be the judge of that." The Quaker Lady said evenly, then paused. When I saw the look on her face I drew a shaky breath. I shouldn't have yelled like that; now I was in trouble. Would she chop my head off? Or shoot me in a rage, like the Quaker had done to my grandfather? But she didn't seem at all angry.
"Excuse me..." Miss Christy said, although it sounded more like a question; when the Quaker Lady nodded, she left the room. That left me alone with the cutthroat. I stood, twisting my hands behind my back. It was now my turn to face the Quaker Lady's wrath. Nothing was said for several long minutes, and my nervousness grew. She was sitting there, hands folded, looking down into her lap.
Don't let her be angry with me. Whenever ma had yelled at me, I'd burst into tears. I won't let that happen; I can't let it happen, no matter what she says. Even if she yells at me or punishes me.
Just as I thought I couldn't stand it anymore, the Quaker Lady spoke. "I do believe that was the first time you'd ever spoken to me other than when I asked a question." I stared; what was she trying to say? "Nevertheless, your behavior of disrespect is not allowed nor tolerated in this house. Adults are to be respected."
I was surprised at her gentle tone of voice. "Yes ma'am," I replied quietly, astonished that my anger had diminished almost entirely.
"I think you should go to bed now," The Quaker Lady said, and I left. I didn't mind, since I was feeling tired and sad after that burst of anger. It was only 8:30, a half hour early.
I lay in bed feeling lonely. My pa was somewhere unknown, my ma was dead; they hadn't even had a funeral service for her. I felt suffocated, and longed to be outside. I waited until Ruby Mae came to bed and was breathing evenly, then grabbed my shawl and slipped out onto the porch connected to our bedroom.
The nippy air blew through my thin nightgown, making me shiver. I longed to have ma there to comfort me, and put her arms around me. I leaned against a porch post and began to sob. I didn't care that ma had said crying did no good; I had to cry, at least once. When two warm arms enfolded my shoulders I leaned back in them; ma had come back!
Reality woke me-- she wasn't coming back, not ever! When I realized it was the Quaker Lady holding me I struggled, but she held me tighter until I gave in and relaxed in her arms. I was afraid she would scold me for disobeying her and coming outside, or for being out in the cold, especially at night.
When my sobs quieted she said "Have you cried since your mother died, Crystal?"
"My ma... I miss her. She can't come back; I'll never have another ma... She told me not to cry, when she was sick, said it didn't do no good," I mumbled unintelligibly.
"I'll comfort you; that's what I'm here for."
"You would?" I was surprised to hear such a confession from the Quaker Lady, especially since I had thought of as stern and unfriendly until that evening. She certainly was proving to be the opposite of that. "Thank-you," I stammered.
"Would you like to call me something other than Miss Alice? It might help, if you think that's too formal. I realize I won't be your mother, but…"
"No, first I...I think I'd better start." I wiped away the tears that clung to my face with my shawl.
"Start? Why, what have you been calling me?"
"The Quaker Lady." I looked down, embarrassed.
"Did you know I'm not a Quaker?"
"But you dress like one, and I thought you were. I knew you lived at the mission, and had managed to avoid you until that day Miss Christy and I went sledding. After that I vowed I would never come that close to you again, but pa ruined that for me."
"That's called Providence. Miss Huddleston told me what you two spoke about on the hill that day."
"And you don't hate me because of it?" I said, still hesitant. I didn't know if I could trust this woman; after all, I hardly knew her!
"Hate is a terrible thing-- it can ruin a life."
"Are you saying 'no'?"
"No, I don't hate you. I have a tendency to get sidetracked, sometimes. Tell me something... are you glad you came to live here with us?"
"Well, at first I wasn't; I was furious that Pa wanted me to live here... I wanted to go with him, to travel! I'd only just found my Pa, but now I lost him again..." my voice broke, overcome by emotion. I drew a deep breath. I wouldn't cry again.
The Quaker Lady... I mean, Miss Alice, took my hand. "Perhaps you should get to bed; it's late."
I nodded and left abruptly, suddenly ashamed of my outburst. I was about to crawl back in bed when I realized how rude I'd just been. Miss Alice had been so kind and I hadn't even thanked her. Ma had taught me better than that.
When I stepped onto the porch again no one was in sight. I wanted to walk around the porch, but fear of the dark made me hesitate. Odd that I didn't notice the darkness when I came out earlier. I finally rushed around the corner, but didn't see any lights in Miss Alice's window, so went back to bed. I'd have to wait until morning.
I rounded the corner and raced down the stairs. When I saw the Quaker Lady I stopped short. She smiled at me and said, as usual, "Good morning, Crystal," but it held more meaning than it had before.
The memory of last night came flooding back in an instant, and I replied "Good morning, Miss Alice." I could feel Miss Christy looking at me oddly, but didn't care. I had a friend, and even though I wasn't sure I loved her, I could learn to.