Disclaimer:I don't own "Noldor (Dead Winter Reigns)"; that belongs to Blind Guardian.
Chapter XVI
Raziel and I went to Vorador's estate, Raziel intending to return the Heart of Darkness to Janos' body. We entered the library. In our absence, however, the estate had been overrun by Moebius's soldiers. I knew that they had not yet found the entrance to the crypt, or discovered the body of Janos, but I could tell Raziel was concerned. Of Vorador, there was no sign. Moebius was waiting on the library's far balcony, accompanied by Vampire Hunters. He smiled when he saw us.
"Raziel - the conquering hero," he said over-dramatically. Raziel and I stood in the middle of the room, looking up at the Time Streamer. I yawned widely and obviously at him, twirling his precious staff in my long fingers like a baton. Moebius looked at me as though he wanted dearly to frown or yell at me, but contained himself. "Ah, Galadriël, the powerful princess, I see you've taken care of my staff. Give it here, like a good girl, won't you?"
"No, I won't," I replied. "And my name is Soul." Now Moebius frowned.
"Why ever not?" he asked.
"Because I hate you," I said, as though confused that he had to ask why. A flash of annoyance crossed Moebius's face, but only for an instant. He turned back to Raziel.
"I understand we are to offer congratulations. Kain, at last, is dead," he said.
"I suppose you expect similar congratulations on the death of Vorador?" Raziel accused. "Or has he eluded you?"
"We have him," replied Moebius, tossing Vorador's sword over the balcony's rail. It landed at Raziel's feet. "But not without a considerable price in blood. Without my staff, more were killed than were necessary." He looked at me pointedly, but I didn't react.
"That will have pleased him," said Raziel.
"Let it sustain him until his head is off," said Moebius with a shrug, "and every vampire in Nosgoth at last is dead."
"And will that knowledge sustain you? You too are going to your death," I pointed out. Raziel looked at me. I had taken the words right out of his mouth again. oblivious as usual, Moebius retorted:
"For a true servant of the one God, death is never bitter. I will go – again at peace with the knowledge that I have played my small part in our master's plans. Kain is at last destroyed, and you have carried out the deed. Which hero do you think you are now? The vampire savior? Or the other one? Have you realized yet that it didn't matter to us which one either of you thought you were, so long as the result was the same in the end? And now, Kain is dead. Really, I cannot thank you enough."
"So this has all been arranged, every step of the way. And Kain thought I truly had free will," said Raziel with a tinge of regret to his voice.
"Oh, but you do," said Moebius with that insufferable sneer of his, that edge of contempt that was always in his voice and expression. He began to turn away. "And there's the greatest triumph of all, to have compelled the one player who could choose into doing exactly what we required. Well done, faithful servant. And now-"
Moebius snapped his fingers and his staff disappeared from my hand and rematerialized in his. Smirking, he activated the staff and vanished, leaving his Vampire Hunters behind to fight Raziel and me. "I have an execution to see to."
"That man's voice makes my teeth hurt," I muttered. Raziel made a sound like a small laugh, but I wasn't sure if that's what it was. We easily dispatched Moebius's goons and continued on our way to the garden. We walked in silence, for I was too rapt in my own thoughts to speak. Finally, without realizing it, I did speak:
"Your bane's a tearful destiny."
Startled, Raziel looked at me in surprise. "What? What does that mean?" I didn't answer. I just started to sing:
"I have seen this bitter end,as I've foreseen the storm and ice
And I could see it,
how a million died, and I?
The blame's on me
'cus I, I was not thereYou can't escape from my damnation
Nor run away from isolation
'Guilty,' spoke the One
'This deed can't be undone.'
Hear my words
Fear my curse
Sky's unclouded
Sweet the water runs, my friend
But Noldor
blood is on your hands
Tears unnumbered
you will shed and dwell in pain
Dead winter reigns!
And tomorrow's
still unknown
Lies!
Condemned and
betrayed,
now everything's
said
See my eyes full of
tears,
and a cruel price
we've paid
But still I can't
claim
that I'm innocent
Lost…"
Raziel gazed at me thoughtfully. "What does that mean?"
"Raziel," I said sadly. "I feel like the war, the original war between the winged race and the Hylden wouldn't have started if I hadn't been born. I feel like something truly horrifying is going to happen and it's all my fault, all my fault…" Raziel put his arms around me comfortingly, protectively.
"It's not you fault," he said gently. "None of it is. Don't be upset. We're going to help each other, remember? You'll help me to unlock my destiny, and I'll help you to disentangle your past. Though I must agree with the last stanza of your song, that we've both been condemned and betrayed and cruelly tried and tested, at least we're together. I'll keep you close to me, safe with me, always." I smiled and hugged him.
"Thank you, Raziel," I said. "I do feel safe with you." He slowly released me and gazed into my eyes. "We have things to do, I think." He nodded and we continued walking. As we went through the garden, I saw bushes of roses still growing and flourishing amid the ruin. To my surprise, they were all of different and impossible colours: blue, purple, green, gold, silver, black. I didn't want to stop Raziel, though I had no intention of allowing him to raise Janos, so I stooped quickly and plucked a blue rose as we went past. We entered the crypt silently, and I remembered my dream where Raziel carried my heart down to Janos's body. This time, however, he had the correct heart. I was slightly sickened for an instant to see Janos's body in its current state, but I regained my composure quickly. Raziel went up beside Janos, holding the Heart. He raised it, preparing to replace it in Janos's chest.
"You don't want to be doing that."
Raziel froze in surprise and turned to me. "What? Why not?"
I sighed. "Raziel, I know you'll hate to hear this, but Kain was right. You cannot raise Janos. If you do, you will be playing right into the Hylden's hands. I know you hate that idea even more. You have to listen to me. You said you trusted me; you wanted me to help you. Step down from there and come to me." Puzzled, hurt almost, Raziel did as I said. I smiled at him as gently as I could.
"If you intended to stop me, why did you let me kill Kain?" he asked softly.
"Because you know what has happened," I said. "I know what will happen. We'll need the Heart before this little farce comes to a close." Raziel looked like he wanted to protest, so I walked past him slowly and went to Janos. "I miss him," I said sadly. "I remember so many good times with him, how we were such good friends. I want to raise him, to talk to him again. But we cannot. In time, it may be safe, but it is not now. I'm sorry." I was apologizing both to Janos and Raziel, but I don't think Raziel realized that. I place the blue rose on Janos's folded hands and took the golden Oroboros from around his neck. That done, I stepped off the dais, gazing sadly at Raziel. I raised my hands slowly, tentatively, and then quickly clasped Raziel's shoulders. The room vanished around us, replaced by the council chamber of the Vampire Citadel.
"What are you doing?" asked Raziel, startled. "Where have you brought us?"
"I'd like you to listen," I said. "I'm going to tell you a story, in Janos's words." Puzzled, Raziel nodded. I tried to remember the Defiance game script. "We are within the ancient citadel of the Vampire race, long ago defiled and abandoned. This fortress endured through centuries of war against the great enemy, the Hylden. From this chamber the Ancients witnessed the summoning of the Pillars, and the banishment of their adversaries from the land." I broke off as a low grinding sounded from the Pillars in the distance. "The Binding is weakening…the hour of prophecy is at hand."
"It's too late. The Pillars are already damned," said Raziel, confused at my strange speech, words that were not my own.
"As long as a single vampire stands, there is still hope," I told him. "The Pillars must not remain under human guardianship. They are not competent to serve. No, don't interrupt. I know the world could end this instant for all you care, so listen to me." Mollified, Raziel relaxed, and I continued: "The Hylden cursed the Ancients as they fell, afflicting them with a predatory blood-thirst. But with this transformation came their enemies' true revenge: immortality."
"They liberated the Ancients from the Wheel of Fate," objected Raziel, and I let him object.
"That's how I saw it," I agreed. "However, Janos and the other Ancients felt differently. They felt their souls were imprisoned in their flesh, expelling them from the "purifying" cycle of death and rebirth."
"And yet they passed the curse on," said Raziel, with some accusation not meant for me. I nodded.
"It was a 'necessary evil', as Janos would have said. Their immortality banished them from the Elder's grace – he turned his sight from them, and fell silent. Many took their own lives, unable to bear the separation from their God."
"Not Janos, though," said Raziel thoughtfully.
"For which I'm very thankful," I said. "Curse or blessing, it was the price they pay to keep the Hylden banished from the land. To sustain the Binding, they had to preserve their – your – bloodline. And so they passed the Dark Gift to the human successors of their fallen Guardians. The humans rebelled, inevitably, refusing the curse and seizing the Pillars as their own. And so we come to our present dilemma. While mankind governs the Pillars, the Binding decays. The Hylden strain against the barriers of their prison, scratching to gain a foothold back into this world.
"And what does all this mean to me?" asked Raziel.
"Don't be rude. We stand at the threshold of a new aeon, Raziel, and you are the fulcrum upon which the entire vampire race's destiny turns. Beneath this room lies their innermost sanctum – the outer chamber has been opened. It appears events are already in motion. This token is the key to the mysteries you seek." I handed him the golden Oroboros. "I can't go with you into this, I'm afraid. You have to face this trial alone. When you prevail – which I know you will – you will have your answers. At least, more of them." Raziel gazed at me and nodded. I hugged him. "Luck go with you," I said softly. "And 'ware to the Reaver! Remember, the Reaver is a key that unlocks many doors." Raziel embraced me gently before going down into the inner sanctum. I didn't want to wait alone for him, but I had to. Or did I? I didn't know. I just didn't want to see the monstrous Elder God. I paced back and forth across the chamber, my hands clasped tightly behind my back. Minutes stretched on into hours; hours lasted forever. I couldn't stand waiting! If there's one thing I've always hated, it's waiting! That's all a kid ever does, you know. That's all anyone ever does! All their lives are spent waiting. I growled in frustration and kicked the wall as I spun on my heel and paced the other way.
"You are wearing a rut in the floor."
I jumped and spun to face the doorway, delighted to hear Raziel's voice. I ran to him and embraced him tightly. "You have succeeded?" I asked.
Raziel raised the Spirit Reaver. "I have." I smiled. Suddenly we were both thrown by a tremendous rumble. Raziel's arms tightened around me, securing me. "Soul! What is this!"
"The Binding is failing," I said. "But all is not lost this time."
"This time? What are you talking about?" asked Raziel.
"Raziel, had you raised Janos Audron, he would have brought you here and told you everything I did," I said. "But he also would have provided the blood of the Hylden's ancient enemy that they need to complete the breaking of the Binding and pass into this world again. That is why Janos could not be raised." My voice stuck in my throat for a moment as I thought of what had to happen next. "There's more, I'm afraid. Do you trust me?"
Raziel was thrown by the question. "Of course I trust you, I-"he began, and stopped.
I cocked my head, curious. "What?"
"-love you," said Raziel softly. I was as thrown as he had been. I never expected that. Composing myself, I smiled.
"I love you too," I said, and for the first time I felt something when I said those all-powerful words. I felt a glowing warmth in my heart that spread all through me, an infinite happiness that I thought I would die if it ever stopped. We embraced again, and I kissed Raziel's cheek lightly. "This is all the better, for what I am about to tell you is very hard for me. Had you raised Janos, he would be possessed by the Hylden Lord now, and you two would battle. Janos would beg you to kill him, but you could not. The Hylden Lord would rally and attack, damaging your physical form beyond sustaining. You would fade into the Spectral Realm and there confront the Elder God. What you learn there I cannot tell you, because I don't understand it. The only way for you to learn the secrets there is to enter the Spectral Realm." Raziel stood silent for a moment, contemplating. At length, he nodded.
"I understand," he said. He squeezed me gently one last time and stepped back. "Hit me with your strongest magick. Don't hold back."
"Are you sure?" I asked softly, even though I knew it was the only way.
"I'm sure," said Raziel confidently, steeling himself for my attack. I closed my eyes and remembered my training with Janos, all that he taught me about my powers. Gathering energies I never knew I had, I manifested a great black and green ball of power, preparing to hurl it at the first person who had ever loved me.
"Please don't do anything foolish," I said softly as I released the energy ball. Raziel gave a cry as it hit him, slamming against the wall and sliding to the floor. I rushed to his side just as his material body dissipated. I sighed, hoping that what I feared would not come to pass. There was no time to lose; I had to find Kain. Going to the gaping hole in the wall facing the Pillars, I spread my arms and vanished.