Soldiers of Misfortune – part 18
Sam and the others were ushered from the room by Janet, with orders to rest. Daniel took the opportunity to slip away and speak to Alenor and the others. He told them the situation and listened gravely to their sympathies. A team was already assigned to trying to find out more about their home worlds and Alenor sternly told Daniel not to worry about them, but to concentrate on his friends.
Daniel retired to his quarters, but sleep wasn't forthcoming and restlessly he sought out Sam and Teal'c, to find they were suffering the same. Sam had wanted to help in the labs with the drugs, but was forbidden to work just yet. Janet had assured her that if they had problems they wouldn't hesitate to call her, but for the moment the synthesizing was proceeding at the normal pace … slowly.
The unhealthy silence that fell on them while waiting wasn't broken for a long while, each of them lost within their own thoughts, until Sam could stand it no longer and led the way back to the infirmary to seek permission to see Jack again. Unfortunately the Colonel was going through a particularly bad seizure and Janet's staff wouldn't let them enter. They sat waiting for news.
Eventually, Janet emerged from the room, along with some of her staff, her face showing her emotions until she saw Colonel O'Neill's team waiting. They rose as one and moved towards her quickly, their faces alarmed.
"He's stable for the moment," she stalled them, holding up her hands, "but he's had a bad seizure and his temperature is rising steadily I'm afraid." There wasn't any good news she could tell them and she refused to admit them for the moment. Her staff would be observing the Colonel very closely for a while yet.
The General, informed of the situation, called the briefing forward, wanting to put it behind them, apart from being very curious as to what SG1 had gone through.
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The faces that regarded him around the table made even the stalwart heart of the General bleed for them. His own fears and sadness he kept deeply hidden as he waited patiently for them to begin. When they did he was not disappointed with their amazing story. Once again SG1 had defeated the odds and made it home – God willing, the Colonel would survive yet.
Sam listened intently to what had happened after she'd left the planet.
Daniel spoke quietly, his eyes not leaving the surface of the table. "It was my fault," he said bitterly.
"Doctor Jackson …" began Hammond kindly.
"Jack could have got away, but he saw Soolek had spotted me and he warned me. He could have escaped. They hadn't seen him, but he let them take him so that I could get away."
Teal'c shook his head. "It was not your fault."
"He gave himself up!" spat Daniel.
"He did not surrender. He fought," added Teal'c.
"He didn't stand a chance. Even if he wasn't injured, he didn't stand a chance and he damn well knew it! Sure he fought them - that's how he got hurt so badly. He wouldn't answer Soolek's questions, so they beat him again. Jack wasn't expecting to get away … he did it so that I could escape." Daniel threw his arms over the briefing table and sank his head down onto them.
Sam felt the tears threatening. Her heart ached for Daniel, but it bled for the Colonel. The grief that threatened to engulf her very soul was on the verge of spilling out and she hurriedly begged the General's pardon to be excused. She barely made it to the washroom before she began retching violently. Once the heaves had subsided, the tears began and she let herself go - everything she had been holding in, she let go of.
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Teal'c drew Daniel up from his chair after the General gave him a nod.
"Come, Daniel Jackson, Major Carter is in need of her friends also." He stood outside the washroom on guard and pushed the bewildered archaeologist in.
Daniel stood for a moment in the doorway, helplessly, until he saw Sam in a huddle on the floor of one of the cubicles. He stifled a groan and went quickly to her, groping in his pockets for a handkerchief - guaranteed to be clean, given his habit of sneezing into his fingers, which surprisingly had grossed out the hardened Air Force Colonel causing him to glare at Daniel whenever he did it. The flash of Jack's expression that flittered through his memories, gave him a little comfort of normality for a brief moment, before he turned his attention to Sam, drawing her into an awkward hug as he knelt, pressing the linen into her hands.
Sam's tears eventually subsided and Daniel helped her up. They both splashed their red eyes, trying to be more presentable before they emerged, hopefully to end the briefing.
The General let them find their feet slowly and after asking a few more questions he drew the briefing to a close for the time being.
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The rest of the day was spent in a haze of trying to sleep and waiting impatiently for Janet to allow them time with the Colonel.
She allowed them a few minutes at a time only. The Colonel's condition was deteriorating despite her best care and the alarms sounded with a regularity that was frightening. So far they had brought him back, but how much more could he take? How much more before his body shut down … beaten …?
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The night hours drew in relentlessly. The atmosphere around the base was somber, everyone in it seeming to know of the Colonel's condition. The quiet looks of sympathy that were cast at the team wherever they went were beginning to fray them. Sleep had been sketchy to say the least, and none of them felt like eating much. Teal'c had performed kel-no-reem, but even his meditation had failed to calm him as it usually did.
Sam made her way to Janet's office, knowing that while Jack was so critical her friend would not have left the base. Sam decided that time was too precious. She would not stand and wait anywhere else except at his side if he was dying.
Janet didn't seem too surprised to see her, regardless of the hour. She had Sam sit down and poured a coffee for them both from the machine, despite Sam's protestations that she didn't want one.
Janet told her that the blood samples they'd taken from the Colonel still showed an extremely strong residual effect of the drugs from the planet and they'd come to the conclusion officially that this was what was interfering with the drugs he'd been given since. It was a race to see if they could either synthesize the drugs faster enough to help him or if the other drugs in his system receded enough to let their own be effective with what little help they could offer. His body just couldn't stand this punishment much longer.
"God, Janet … if …"
"Sam, you couldn't have known and even if you had, you would have what? Let him die?"
Sam shook her head.
Janet waited patiently. She knew Sam had something to get out.
Sam stared at her cup with such intensity that she didn't notice the tears that were beginning to fall. She looked up in surprise when Janet pulled at her cup and replaced it with a handful of tissues.
"Sorry …" sniffed Sam, mortified that once again she'd lost her composure and worse still, in front of someone.
"Take your time, Sam. It's okay," said Janet quietly.
"God, Janet … it's been so …" Sam sniffed again as fresh tears threatened. Straining to keep her emotions pinned inside, Sam stared down at her hands, playing with the sodden tissues, her eyes wide with distress. "I really didn't think we'd make it home this time. Jack was hurt so bad …" Her voice cracked and she coughed a little to clear it. "Then he … we … oh God, we … he got so close to getting home okay then … and now this …"
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Sam burst into more tears and Janet renewed the supply of tissues in her hands. "Hush," whispered Janet as she enveloped her friend in her arms, rubbing her back as she would have done with Cassie. It worried her greatly that Sam was crumbling. Obviously something had happened on that planet to make the normally resilient Major, despite what she would be feeling inside, show her feelings like this.
Janet held onto her for a while and when she felt Sam was calm enough, she sat beside her. "Look, I'm going to give you something to make you sleep. No arguments, you need it. That or I will keep you in. I promise to wake you if there is change, okay?" Sam stopped her protest and nodded. "It's only mild, but you need to rest."
Janet left for a few minutes before returning with some water and two tiny pills. She stood over Sam, making sure the Major took them before escorting her straight to her quarters. "I'll be checking in on Daniel with the same I think …" she warned as she left the Major at her door.
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Sam slowly undressed. She could feel the weariness engulfing the last of her strength and she sank slowly down … 'strong residual effect ... had she pumped him so full of drugs? No … she'd been careful to follow the instructions – using less most of the time – but they were alien drugs … You knew that yet you gave him them anyway – but he would have died without … He's dying now though … and it's your fault.'
She eventually slept, the tears running down her face, punctuated by the occasional sob as she turned restlessly, her dreams haunting her … His face … his dark eyes dancing with passion as he wrapped his arms around her … his voice pleading to her and fading into a drug filled haze … 'Don't Sam … Enough drugs, don't want them' And the nightmares twisted around … strangling her hopes with deep despair.
Knocking at her door roused her with a jerk and the sickness in her stomach lurched violently. Grabbing her robe she quickly opened the door with trembling hands fearing the worse.
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Daniel looked shocked at Sam's appearance. He knew he certainly looked rough, but Sam looked terrible. Her haunted, anxious eyes regarded him expectantly and he found his voice.
"I just called the infirmary. He's still with us." He spoke quickly to ease her fright, cursing as he realized just what she would be thinking.
The hour was still early and Daniel had gained some sleep – true, it was filled with nightmares of Soolek beating Jack, but at least his body had gained something even if his mind had not.
Sam sagged with relief and backed into her room to sit on the bed heavily, as she pulled her robe more tightly around her. "I thought …" she began.
"Sorry, I just realized …" Daniel began at the same time, drawing a wry smile from both of them.
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Janet had been visited by a restless General, despite the early hour, but she had nothing of hope to offer him.
"He's still in and out of consciousness. I don't know how long his body can take it. To be honest I didn't expect him to survive the night," she admitted.
"One thing Jack is, is a fighter. He won't give up without giving it all he has," said the General quietly.
"Sir, I don't think he's got much left to give. The drugs we gave him are at best only adding to his confusion. They're not helping. His blood levels show almost no reduction in the levels of the alien drug, despite the transfusions and it will be several hours yet before we get enough of it ready to give him – and then, other than waiting, there's not a lot I can do. It's still down to him. There's a very high risk of brain damage and …" Janet Fraiser stopped speaking and sat down heavily. For the first time in her medical career the enormity of her responsibility to her patient and her inability to be of help swamped her, so suddenly it was frightening. The memories of the Colonel waking in the middle of the operation in agony, not once, but twice, haunted her …
The General patted her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "When did you last sleep?" he asked.
Janet shrugged. "I'm okay Sir, you know us doctors …"
"Are human," he finished. "Now I am going to sit in there a while and you are going to get some rest. You've got a great team looking after him and they can call you as soon as you are needed. Don't write him off yet - I haven't."
Janet smiled at the General's retreating back. "I won't, Sir," she called out as he reached the door. He turned and gave her a nod.
"Now get some rest before the rest of SG1 appears," he ordered.
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George Hammond sat beside his 2IC, the sight of the restraints making him wince, and for once, he was glad the Colonel wasn't fully aware of everything for the time being. The nurse had retreated from the room after making sure he would call before leaving … or if the Colonel showed signs of waking.
He sighed and reached out a hand to rest lightly on Jack's arm through the metal bars. "SG1 … well son, it's a good job I've no hair left to lose. I'd given you all up for dead this time. No trace, Jack … nothing to show us what had happened, but here you all are. You've got to keep fighting, son. Your team's waiting for you and we're not going to let you off the hook so easily. We've still got one hell of a war to win out there and we need you."
The General was sitting quietly, his head beginning to droop onto his chest with weariness, when he felt the Colonel beginning to stir.
He sat up with a start. The Colonel was beginning to come around, his head moving as his eyes began to flicker open. The clouded panicked look in them surprised Hammond and he fumbled for the button to call the nurse back in.
Lieutenant McPhee entered at a run, not knowing what she'd find and she quickly digested the monitors' readings as she moved to the Colonel's side.
The Colonel's body began to fight against his restraints, his rapid panicked breathing setting off the ventilator alarms as she put a firm hand on his shoulder, speaking to try and calm him.
General Hammond stood back, watching the nurse trying to help O'Neill, but seeing his 2IC writhe as though being tortured by invisible tormentors made his guts recoil. He'd seen many things in his time in his service to his country … many things, but nothing compared to watching someone you cared about suffering like this. The Colonel's face showed his pain, the bed's sides banging alarmingly as he struggled and began to kick out.
The nurse carried on calmly speaking as she buzzed for more help, but her face showed her distress. Colonel O'Neill could be a pain in the ass, but he was respected and admired by the staff. To see such a proud man like this was distressing to say the least.
Doctor Fraiser wasn't far behind the other staff as they entered and General Hammond tactfully retired to the corridor to wait.
It seemed a long time before the medical personnel began leaving the room one by one and the General entered cautiously, fearing the worse, from the strained expressions on the nursing staff's faces.
Janet turned to regard the General solemnly. "He's still with us General, God knows how … but he's here."
Hammond let go of the breath he was holding and nodded just once. "Keep me apprised Doctor, I'll be back later."
He made his way back to his office. Pouring himself a good strong coffee he sank down wearily, the events of the last few hours almost too much to take.
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