~Be sure to check out my website, REvolution! (at ) for information about an illustration contest for my stories 'Legolas and the Really Messed-Up Fanfic!' and 'The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!'~

The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!

by Odeena Skywalker (alias Anne Shard)

Chapter 3: Differences

For the next five minutes, everyone wrote on. I, for one, was having a tough time with my fic, and many times I found myself staring at nothing, as all sorts of things went through my mind, many of which had nothing to do with writing fics or sitting next to an elf who was adored by half the planet. Well, not exactly half the planet, but you get the picture, right? I was thinking about Paul, and I was positively dreading meeting him tonight. But, duty before pleasure. And fanfic writing before any of the two, I said to myself sternly as I resumed writing once again.

But I wasn't the only one who was having some difficulties at the moment. Legolas was also staring at nothing. Gollum was chewing the end of his pen thoughtfully, and occasionally muttering nonsense to himself. Boromir was doodling abstract shapes on his sheet of paper, his eyes half closed.

"Hello...? What's going on here?"

I started, and so did everyone else. Elladan and Elrohir had come into the room unnoticed, and were now looking at us questioningly, eyebrows raised. Elladan had his arms full of envelopes, and by the look of it, I guessed that he had brought in today's fan mail.

Elrond sat up ceremoniously. "Elladan, Elrohir, welcome to the Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers."

Elrohir frowned. "And that means..."

"We all write stories about each other. It's really fun, you two should try it, too."

Elrohir smiled at Eowyn and sat down next to her, taking a small notebook and a ball pen from his pocket. "Okay."

"Right..." Elladan glared at his brother, then sighed. "Anyway, I have some letters for you..." This caused some commotion. "Let's see now... Legolas." A pink envelope with hearts all over it flew towards the elf, and Legolas caught it in mid-air. "Legolas." Another envelope, this time with a silver angel clumsily drawn on it. "Haldir. Legolas. Legolas. Legolas." Three more letters went to the elf. "Aragorn. Boromir. Aragorn. Frodo. The King of Gondor - this probably means you, Aragorn. Odeena. Gollum... talk about unexpected things... Arwen. Eowyn. Aragorn. Sam. Legolas."

It took Elladan about five minutes to share all the letters around. Then, he took a pen and a clipboard from a desk and sat down between Arwen and Faramir.

"Finished!" Aragorn announced suddenly, beaming around at us. "Okay, here's a teaser for my fic", he went on, his voice sounding like he was speaking in 'Fast-forward' mode. "It takes place during that chase at the beginning of TTT, when Legolas, Gimli and I are hunting for the orcs that took Merry and Pippin. Essentially, it's about Gimli, Legolas and their conflicts, and I must say that this is somewhat inspired from real events... by the way, I'm not playing a major part in it because the idea is that I was out scouting or something, otherwise these two would have kept their temper in check. Besides, I don't want to be blamed of narcissism."

"Just get on with it!" a very anxious Faramir cut in.

"Okay." Aragorn took a deep breath. "Here goes."

Differences

"Ouch!"

Legolas stirred in his sleep, opened his eyes, then closed them again and turned his back on Gimli, muttering something about a 'stupid dwarf' and 'no respect for anything except for himself'. However, before he could go back to sleep, another high-pitched "Ouch!" tingled his sensitive pointy ears. He tried to ignore it, but all his hopes of getting a decent sleep vanished moments later when a third "Ouch!" made him grit his teeth and draw in a hissed breath.

Conjuring up all the elven patience he could muster, Legolas turned around and propped himself on one elbow. "Gimli... for mercy's sake, what in Elbereth's name are you doing?"

The dwarf glared at him. "Combing my - OW! - beard, what the blazes does it - OUCH! - look like I'm - OW! - doing?"

"Uh-huh..." Legolas shook his head. "Well, do you think that you could - you know - keep it down? I mean, I don't see any reason that you should wake up half of Middle Earth while you're at it..."

Gimli growled something like, "Easy for you to speak", then resumed his labor.

"Whatever", replied Legolas, whose elven ears had picked up Gimli's words as clear as if he were shouting them. "Where's Aragorn?"

"Scouting."

Figures, Legolas thought. Without even considering that I could be a much better scout than him. After all, I am an elf, and he's only mortal...

"OWEE! Blazes, this is more pain than I deserve!..."

Legolas rolled his eyes. In these conditions, he couldn't hope to get a decent sleep. He sat up and sighed. Then, he looked up. The moon was bright and full, and the sight of it calmed down his anger. He contemplated it silently, until Gimli's cursing brought him back to reality. He thought of several replies, all of which would have made a sailor blush, but his common sense got the best of him.

"Gimli, listen..."

"Finished!" the dwarf announced proudly, shoving his comb back in the pocket of his tunic. "Sorry to have awoken you, Legs."

"Legs?!" The elf glared. "Please, don't call me that."

"Okay, Legsie."

"...or that."

Gimli frowned. "What should I call you then?"

"Legolas. Just Legolas. Is that too much to ask?"

"Umm, no... Okay, Legsie, you're on. Whoops, I mean, Legolas."

Legolas sighed. Then he took a small comb out of his pocket and began to untangle his long hair, occasionally making a grimace.

"You know, you could scream your head off", Gimli advised. "I mean, it's not like anyone's going to hear you."

"I have my dignity", the elf replied. "Besides, it's not like we're after a band of blood-thirsty Uruk-Hai now, is it?"

"Oh."

After he finished with that, Legolas took a small piece of lembas out of his pocket and looked at his compaion enquiringly.

"No, thanks", Gimli said. "I'm not hungry."

"You don't like elven stuff", Legolas said with a sigh.

"No."

"Right." Legolas began to eat, and Gimli started to sharpen his axe. Not long after, a very weary-looking Aragorn seemingly appeared out of nowhere between the two.

"The orcs are way ahead of us", he announced. "We have to get moving."

Legolas chocked on a piece of lembas. Gimli dropped his axe.

"And just when I was getting used to peace and quiet", the dward complained as the trio resumed their pursuit. "Not that I'm complaining or anything..."

Aragorn and Legolas exchanged a glance, and then they both smirked.

~ The end ~

And sure enough, after the proverbial end, everyone broke into cheers once again.

"He wasn't that annoying", Legolas whispered to me. "But we weren't sitting on roses, either."

"Good one", Gimli said, patting Aragorn on the back. "Although we weren't that bad."

"Says you..." Aragorn muttered, and this caused another wild fit of laughter from the rest of the Fellowship.

"So, who's next?" Elrond asked. "Has anyone else finished?"

"Just a little more..." Arwen muttered, scribling frantically.

"Almost there..." Eowyn seconded.

"Oh, great", Haldir whispered to me. "I see a cat fight ahead."

___________

Author's Note: Well, looks like my readers generally liked the interlude, judging by the lovely reviews I received yet again! Thanks! You guys are SO sweet! All of you! Huggies! And here are the review responses:

Filia Regalis: Confusing? ...okay, if you say so... I wrote it around 2 AM, so I could blame the randomness and possible incoherence on that. What can I do? That's the only time when I can write in peace - that is, without having to answer the phone, go buy something, do chores etc. every five minutes :)

Kendria Erleine: Thanks! I love to write humor - and that's because I love to make people smile! ...or roll on the floor with laughter, their choice :) Like I said, I write mostly at night, when I'm half asleep, and sometimes, when I re-read what I wrote during the previous night, I can hardly believe that *I* came up with such ideas :))

Crystalline4: Glad you liked the 'Faramir-and-the-cake' story, so far it seems to be my most popular LotR fic/chapter yet! And Legolas says thanks for the kiss, too!

ApocalypticPyro: I definitely feel special! ^_^ I'm seriously thinking about that 'Green Dragon Party' interlude now - and I've already got some ideas, including Legolas, Haldir, Chinese food and Faramir chasing Aragorn around with chopsticks because... wait, I'm not going to spoil the surprise just yet. Stay tuned! And - this is for all reviewers - if you want to appear in the 'GDP' interlude, say it in your reviews! You can also say who you'd like to meet, what you'd like to happen etc. For I'm the Almighty Authoress and I Can Make Your Dreams ome True! *poses like Jim Carrey in 'Bruce Almighty'* Muahahahaha!