DISCLAIMER: Bleach is owned by Kubo-sensei.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Minna-san, my apologies for taking so long to update. School has been hectic and this particular chapter was quite a handful. I didn't know how to go about writing a shinigami afterlife so I hit the books to do some research. There were a lot of interesting myths and philosophies out there for material – ah, the possibilities for AUs and OOCs. It was hard to focus…Hehe. Anyway, here's my attempt. I hope you find this chapter an interesting read. The original is quite long so I edited it down. It's still long though. 'sigh' Sowee. But I hope you enjoy it.
Again, thank you to the people who reviewed and read. I really appreciate all your comments and inputs. They inspire me to become a better fanfiction writer every time. Ja!
Choice
"Now which shall be the least way,"
Said I: "to gain my goal?"
And so I took the East way,
With freedom in my soul.
- From a poem by Robert William Service
Rukia looked out the horizon thoughtfully. Her sundress billowing in the wind, her hair cavorting with the breeze, but her eyes were transfixed straight ahead. She seemed oblivious to her surroundings. She shifted her gaze as if trying to locate something just beyond the bright sky.
"Ne, are you all right with letting him go like that?" A bright black and red hell moth fluttered close to her side. She nodded slowly. "I guess...it is for the best."
"He did it, Kiseichou," she said full of relief and silent gratitude. "I was so afraid I wouldn't make it in time…that he would be gone forever." Her voice seemed distant now as she recalled the past event in her mind. "But when it was finally over, I saw him without the malice. He was the same man I kept in my heart. He had prevailed and that made me happy."
"And it's because of you," Kiseichou said, this time settling on her shoulder.
"Iie. When I saw his Zanpako-tou during the time I transferred my shinigami powers to him, I knew that he is powerful. He had proven this time and time again," she explained with a hint of pride in her voice. "I'm weak compared to him…all I could really do was to support him."
A scene played out in Rukia's head - Ichigo standing on the execution tower in Soul Society, the very same one he destroyed when he saved her, his eyes bright and a smile spread across his face.
From his presence and his voice, I can feel Ichigo's power flowing into me. You've become strong, Ichigo.
"Haven't you learned anything in your long life," her avatar chided softly. "True strength is not just measured by one's sword or spirit powers. A truly strong person is one who is strong in his heart, the heart which desires to protect something or someone dear to him. You were able to do that, you know."
She closed her eyes to feel the comforting breeze. It looked as if she was weighing the right words without showing regret. "Ah…I just wish I could have done more," she finally said after a moment's silence.
"You've done more than enough," the hell moth said consolingly.
"Thank you, Kiseichou," she softly replied. The event seemed far away now and the physical pain only a memory. She felt comforted when she realized that her work was done and it was time to move on.
'Move on,' she pondered while the words echoed in her thoughts. "Ne Kiseichou, a shinigami's fate is full of ironic choices, isn't it?"
Her avatar didn't say a word but its gossamer wings touched her cheek lightly. Rukia closed her eyes in understanding. She knew she was on a crossroad that only she can tread.
Ichigo kept glancing at the clock. He knitted his eyebrows at the textbook in front of him, trying hard to concentrate on finishing his homework.
"Oi Ichigo! You're gonna take me with you to see Nee-san tonight!" Kon demanded, pointing a stuffed finger at his face.
He paid no heed to the plushie and continued writing on his notebook. He would have to deal with him later, he told himself. But right now, he just wanted to get his schoolwork done.
"Ignoring me won't work. I won't let you leave me behind this time!" Kon persisted.
Ichigo didn't answer back, mentally drowning out Kon's voice in several equations and rules of grammar.
"Pretending you're deaf will not work on me either!" This time Kon shouted in his ear.
He gave the raging stuffed mod soul a quick punch that sent it flying across the room. Kon landed with a thud. "How am I gonna finish my homework if you keep yapping at me?" Ichigo said between clenched teeth, obviously annoyed.
"Itai! Itai!" complained Kon. "Just because I'm a stuffed toy doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I haven't seen nee-san for so long. I just miss her," he cried. "When she comes back, I'll tell her that you have been mistreating me. Waaaah, Rukia nee-san, Rukia nee-san!"
Ichigo let out a sigh and closed his notebook. The way Kon called her name reminded him so much of the way he had called out to his mother during those nights when he couldn't sleep or had nightmares. It wrenched at his heart. "Will you stop being a cry baby?" he said, this time his tone was only mildly irritated.
"I...want to see…Rukia-neesan," Kon said between sobs.
"I'll take you next time, Kon. Rukia is still…" he stopped himself abruptly. He had no wish to sound pessimistic and so he weighed his words carefully. "She still needs her rest."
He quickly stood up and got out of his room before Kon could say another word of protest. It was getting late and he wanted to get to Urahara's soon. He made his way downstairs, thankful that he hadn't encountered his siblings.
'They're probably in their room already,' he thought, gingerly stepping on the floorboards. He got to the bottom of the stairs without any interuptions. The living room was flooded in darkness with only one lamp lighting a corner. He reached for the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" a voice in a dark corner asked him.
Ichigo jumped in surprise and spun around quickly. He saw his father sitting on the edge of the room.
"Oyaji," he said quietly. "I'm going to Urahara's…"
"No need to explain, son. I know where you're going," Isshin said smugly.
"THEN WHY THE HELL …" Ichigo screamed at him on instinct but toned down his voice, realizing that he might wake up his sisters. "Are you lurking around here in the dark like some kind of bogeyman?"
Isshin just gave him a fatherly smile. "No need to get all worked up, son. I know how it feels to be young and in love."
He was about to retort a nasty reply but realized it would only be a waste of time. Besides, it was getting late, Urahara might not open the door for him. If that happened, he'd blame his old man or better yet he would drag him there and have him plead with sandal hat himself.
He sighed and turned around to open the door. "I'm going," he said in an even tone.
"Ichigo, don't worry too much," his father said. "It will all be alright."
He just nodded. "Oyaji, if there's a hollow…"
"I'll back you up. You know, I will," his father finished his sentence for him as if Isshin knew what he wanted to say. "Now get going. Rukia-chan's waiting for you."
She was in a tranquil place, that she knew, but everything seemed a blur to her. Her gaze shifted as if trying to locate a place just beyond the bright sky. A place she remembered fondly. She let out a small sigh, fixed a wayward hair out of her face and turned around.
'I guess, this is the best way to start,' she thought, walking in the direction that her feet had chosen. Her avatar fluttered companionably beside her.
"Kiseichou, what is this place?" she asked, squinting her eyes to see her surroundings clearly. The place was dotted with high mountains that stand sentinel over one of the most beautiful scenic belts in the afterlife, while vast forests stretched as far as the eye could see. But Rukia could only make out their shapes, their vividness and beauty lost in a blanket of thin fog.
"A prelude to a soul's journey," Kiseichou said. "It is a higher plane of existence where undecided souls retreat to in order to find the answer at the crossroad."
"Is this what shinigamis go through when they are nearing their…end?" she said, feeling unsure if she should have used the word 'death.' But it seemed ironic to be talking about it that way. She was the bringer of death in the living world, after all.
"For you, it is," the hell moth replied. "Are you afraid?"
"Iie," she said truthfully. "I've lived a good life."
"Then come, your journey to find the answer has just begun," her avatar said, leading the way.
Urahara had a worried look on his face as Yoruichi tended Rukia's wounds. He knew Rukia hadn't shown any improvement since they brought her from that incident with Ichigo's hollow self and he didn't like it.
"Her wounds are healing very slowly," Yoruichi observed as she placed new bandages on the deep gashes on Rukia's chest and arm. Beads of sweat were running down Yoruichi's face, a clear testament that she had been hard at work, focusing her spirit powers to heal.
"I know," Urahara said, his voice troubled. "We may have to put her in a gigai to help with the healing. It seemed her injuries are weakening her reiatsu to the point that her spiritual body can't maintain its form in the living world."
"If that happens, we would have to bring her back to Soul Society immediately," Yoruichi said, also voicing her concern. She didn't like the idea of going to Soul Society but if the situation called for it, she would go back with Ichigo in tow.
They both looked at Rukia, the shinigami who went above and beyond her duty twice, still lying unconscious on the futon. They didn't want to admit it but they were afraid to see that her existence was slipping away like sand in an hourglass.
A soft knock on the door took them away from their thoughts and they quickly changed their countenance.
Urahara gave Yoruichi an encouraging smile as if telling her to play along with him. He pulled his hat down to his eyes and opened the door.
"Ah, Kurosaki-san. You came," he said with flair. "Come in, come in. We had just finished Kuchiki-san's healing session. And visiting hours have started."
Ichigo felt awkward about the unwanted attention. He had hoped nobody would be around to notice his arrival, except maybe Tessai, who was gracious enough to open the front door of the shop for him. He gave sandal hat and Yoruichi a simple nod as greeting.
But his eyes went straight to the figure lying on the futon. He felt relieved to see her again, though he had secretly hoped that she would be awake by now. He chided himself for being impatient. "How is she, Urahara-san?" he managed to ask.
"She hasn't regain consciousness yet," Urahara said without hesitation. He knew he was stating the obvious to Ichigo. It was better that way. He wasn't ready to tell him what he and Yoruichi were worried about. He looked to Yoruichi for support.
"We just have to wait patiently, Ichigo," she said, making a final check on the bandages she did on Rukia's wounds. She smiled at him reassuringly and stood up to take her leave. "Well, I guess I'll go ahead. I'm tired. So good night, you two."
"Hai, Yoruichi-san. Thank you for your hard work," Urahara said cheerfully.
"Kisuke, you better leave Ichigo alone with Rukia now. This is his visiting hours, you know," she jokingly said as she closed the door behind her. Ichigo rolled his eyes. He didn't expect that from Yoruichi. He sat by Rukia's side and started unpacking his backpack.
Urahara eyed him curiously. "Oho, I didn't know you read this stuff?" he said over Ichigo's shoulder, quickly reaching for the horror manga he brought.
"Hey!" Ichigo said with a start. "Give that back!" He tried in vain to get the manga off Urahara's hands, but Urahara had one foot on the side of his face.
""I know about it my sister. It's all hidden in that box, isn't it? The box that mother gave you!"" read Urahara, obviously enjoying himself at Ichigo's expense. "Wow, this is good stuff. Can I borrow it?"
Ichigo was now on his feet and deftly grabbed the manga from Urahara hands. "NO! I brought this for Rukia!"
"How selfish," Urahara looked at him, feigning hurt feelings, but his face quickly understood. "I see, you're going to read that to her."
"Well, yeah," Ichigo sat down, suddenly feeling uncomfortable that sandal hat had guessed his intention correctly. "She used to read this to learn how to talk like a human in this world. But I think that's just a front. She's always a sucker for this kind of stuff."
He remembered Rukia reading the very same manga. At that time, he had accidentally startled her when he came up from behind to ask her what he should do next after finishing a shinigami training. She almost toppled over from fright. He tried hard not to laugh then, but he had to admit it was such a hilarious sight. 'Rukia huddled in a heap of terror over a manga. Now that was priceless,' he thought, clearly amused.
A small smile graced his face at the memory as he held the manga reverently in his hands like a long, lost treasure. "That was when she lost her powers and got stuck here in the living world," he said quietly as he looked at Rukia. "I remember it clearly like it was yesterday."
Urahara saw a softness in Ichigo's face that the temporary shinigami rarely showed. He decided it was time to go. He stretched out and yawned outrageously. "I guess I should be heading to bed. It's hard to keep up with young people like you when one is getting old." He walked out the door. "Now, don't scare yourself too much with that manga, Ichigo," he winked mischievously.
"Yeah, right!" Ichigo scowled at him. 'Me? Scared by this stuff?' he muttered under his breath. He gave a quick glance over his shoulder and shivered. "This is dumb," he said to himself again as he opened the manga's pages. "But I'm doing it just for you, Rukia."
She was walking.
For how long, she didn't know and didn't care. Time didn't seem to exist in the place she was in. Everything around her was still blurry but she could see that the different shapes in her surrounding kept changing with her every stride.
She looked up the sky, the only place she could see clearly, and saw that it was dark as midnight except for a single star blazing high above to light her way. She could hear no sound other than the steady flutter of Kiseichou's wings, and this made her feel more alone and isolated.
'I'm not afraid. I'm not in pain. I feel no sorrow,' she said to herself as if coming to terms with her loneliness. These words and the feelings of isolation were familiar to her. She had faced them before. So now, she would accept them freely.
A gust of cold wind tugged at her clothes and she instinctively hugged herself for warmth. She willed her eyes ahead to keep track of Kiseichou, her vision finally becoming accustomed to the veiled environment. Up ahead, her avatar's bright red wings fluttered like a flame in the dark.
It took a while for her to notice the real flames of a bonfire by the side of the path. She thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. But as she moved closer, she could feel the inviting warmth of the yellow and orange flame as well as hear the crackling of wood underneath it.
She picked up her pace and came a few feet from where the bonfire was. The light being emitted by the fire didn't help to illuminate her surroundings but she could make out a figure huddled close to it, tending the fire.
"Kiseichou?" she said rather timidly, unsure of where her avatar went.
The figure stood up and faced her. She couldn't make out the face because the smoke from the burning wood was obscuring her view. Deep inside, she felt a need to come nearer and meet the person before her – to see the hidden face. But she stood frozen in mid step.
"Rukia," a woman's voice said softly amid the din of crackling wood. It triggered in her a long lost memory of a past she didn't even know about. It rooted her to the spot where she stood. Her body didn't move even though something in her urged her to run towards the figure.
"Rukia, you look cold," the woman said, the voice tinge with concern. "Come close where the fire is warm."
She wanted to answer back but no words came. It was as if she was entranced by that familiar voice but try as she might, she couldn't remember whom it belonged to. She didn't move an inch because she was so scared of what she might find.
As if sensing her hesitation, the figure walked towards her. The smoke parted to reveal a woman wearing a lovely kimono with pink cherry blossoms. Rukia didn't blink afraid that if she did the figure would vanish and leave her without another word. So she waited as the woman's face came into view.
She didn't know who this woman was but her heart was telling her otherwise. When the woman came close enough, Rukia found herself looking at an older version of her face like a perfect reflection in a mirror.
The woman, her other self, looked at her like she knew who she was. Her eyes were misty with tears as she raised a trembling hand to gently touch Rukia's face. "It is really you," she said softly, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around Rukia and whispered, "I thought I would never see you again."
In her embrace, Rukia felt that she was being enveloped by a love she was unconsciously longing for in all the years she had lived in Rukongai and in Soul Society. Her whole body trembled and recognition finally dawned upon her. "Nee-sama," she whispered, finding the word that eluded her for so long. "Nee-sama!" she cried out, sobbing as if she was a child again and calling out for the sister she thought she never had.
They remained that way for a while, giving comfort to one another, filling the void, closing the gap and finally, finding the bond that was once there. In her sister's presence, Rukia could sense her isolation and loneliness fading away. She had never felt more secure in her entire life, her soul finding peace at last.
Ichigo was on the last pages of the horror manga he was reading to Rukia. Every once in a while, he would look at her to see if his reading had any effect on her at all. He would sigh and continue reading out loud, changing intonation where appropriate.
When he looked up from the manga to check on Rukia again, he was surprised to see she was fading away. But it was more like her corporeal body was becoming transparent. He blinked and Rukia was normal again.
"That's it. I think I've been reading too much of this stuff in one day," he closed the manga and put it away. "Sorry, Rukia. I'll read some more next time." He held her bandaged hand to assure himself that his eyes were just seeing things.
Suddenly he felt a gathering of strong spirit pressure. 'Hollows,' he thought as he stood up to get out of the room. But his forehead came in contact with the tip of Urahara's cane and his shinigami soul separated from his physical body.
"Hey! Watch where you point that thing, you almost poke my eye out!" Ichigo shouted at the former shinigami.
"Kurosaki-san, I believe this is not the time to complain," said Urahara, his usual playful demeanor was replaced by a serious face. "The enemies are on the prowl."
Ichigo nodded in understanding. "Urahara-san, please take care of Rukia. I'll be right back," he said as he ran out to hunt the hollows.
"Don't worry, I will," he said, his expression turning into worry when he looked at Rukia. His eyes widened when he saw her spiritual form faded then went back to normal after a few seconds. His fear was becoming real. He knew he had to act fast.
He reached for Rukia's hand, "Forgive me, Kuchiki-san. Once again, I would have to do something without your consent."
To be continued…
AA/N: This chapter is a bit on the emo side again. I hope you guys didn't get too confused about the changing perspectives. I've tried to approach it the traditional way, but it felt forced and overreaching. So I took the risk and did the overlapping points-of-view thing for the story. It's kinda like watching a tennis match, without straining your neck. Hehe. Anyway, kindly tell me if it works or not. Thanks again.
Another Author's Note: Okay, I just have to include this comment because I'm so effing HAPPY about Chapter 201 of the manga. It can't effing wait! Um, does the word "effing" exist at all? Well, nevermind. (Close your eyes if you don't want to get spoiled!) Rukia's soul cutter/slayer's name has been revealed and she even showed its Shikai form! SHANNAROOOO! 'chokes on a couple of chocolate Pocky sticks' Now eventhough this new development in the manga totally made the first chapters of my story moot to the point of becoming out of character and out of Bleach universe, 'smiles wryly' I will continue on with the next chapters because the story already has a life of its own (besides, I'm sure I'll be haunted by its ghost and my parents would find me in a heap of terror mumbling about an unfinished Bleach fanfic. God forbid!). So on with the story. IchiRuki all the way. Woot! Pocky sticks to everyone!