"Stop the boat!" Willy screams when he can't take another second of Frank's glances and advances. He looks around to notice the boat has come to a halt right outside the inventing room. Relieved that his choice of stop will be easy to motivate he goes on: "I want to show you guys something!" and de-boards the boat faster than you would think possible for a man in high heels carrying a cane.
"This is the most important room in the entire factory. Now everyone enjoy yourselves but just don't touch anything, kay?" he announces hopefully. Of course, everyone runs around touching everything they can get their hands on. Desperate for a way of making them stop Willy grabs the nearest thing, which happens to be a piece of hair toffee, and calls out: "Hey everybody…! People…! Aren't you curious to know what this is?"
The people in question look moderately curious but at least they stop touching things and gather round politely.
"These are hair toffees." Willy explains, "You suck down one of these little boogers, and a brand new crop of hair will start growing out of the top of your lil' noggin!" At this, a glimpse of hope is lit in Riff Raff's eyes, "And a moustache. And a beard!" Willy goes on.
"Who wants a beard?" Riff Raff drawls in disapproval.
"Well...beatniks for one. Folk singers and motorbike riders. Oh, and drag kings, definitely drag kings! I say there's a great market out there for beard." Willy goes on, "Unfortunately the mixture isn't quite right, cause an Oompa-Loompa tried some yesterday, and well, he –" He points to the mop-like thing shuffling towards them and Riff Raff lets out a disappointed sigh.
Pleased with having everybody's attention Willy goes on with the inventing room tour, pressing the starting button of the room's largest and smartest machine, telling everybody to watch carefully.After a great show of blinking and booming and unfolding devices the machine produces a strip of gum which the gum-chewing girl obsessively snatches and puts in her mouth.
"It's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe. Know why? Know why?" Willy demands. Everybody, including the gum-chewing girl, stare blankly at him. "Cause this gum happens to be a full, three-course dinner all by itself!" Willy goes on, awaiting the sensational effect of his words. Nobody says anything, there's not even oooh:ing and aaah:ing.
"Why would anyone want that?" Frank asks at last.
Willy seems perplexed and pulls out a bunch of cue cards from his coat pocket. Finding the right one, he reads: "It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking! Just a little strip of Wonka's magic chewing gum and it's all you will ever need at breakfast, lunch, and dinner! This piece happens to be tomato soup, roast beef, and blueberry pie!"
Now it's Magenta's turn to look hopeful. Her hope soon drops however as she sees the gum-chewing girl turn blue and swell to an enormous size.
When all of the blueing and swelling is done without any explosive mishaps Willy comes out from his hiding place and says cheerfully: "I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!"
"Oh but you are wicked!" says Frank, looking randy.
At this point, a funky 70ies disco beat starts to play and the Oompa-Loompas get on with the dancing and singing again, this time a tune about some Violet Beauregarde,including the word "chewing" more than several times. With a delighted squee Colombia climbs the nearest machine, jumps for the bouncy blueberry and starts to tap dance on it, accompanied by the Oompa-Loompas.
"What a great act!" she cries, "Please Frank can I keep her?"
"Whatever" Frank says, waving his hand dismissively.
"I'm afraid you can't." Willy interrupts in a creepily cute voice, "She will explode unless all that juice is squeezed out of her really quickly."
"Oh crap!" Colombia complains, stamping her foot, at which Willy ducks for cover as if he was afraid the blueberry girl would be punctured. Which he actually is. Blueberry intestines all over the attire, not a fancy sight, happened with an Oompa-Loompa last week.
"I want you to roll Miss Beauregarde onto the boat and take her along to the juicing room at once, please." he hurriedly orders the Oompa-Loompas.
Colombia jumps off the giant blueberry, but Frank eyes her and nods for her to follow into the boat.
"Do I have to?" she asks, "I don't want her anymore if she's not going to be usable as a stage prop!"
But Frank is adamant and Willy adds reassuringly: "She'll be very… flexible!"