~Be sure to check out my website, REvolution! (at http://rev.fineststars.com) for information about an illustration contest for my stories 'Legolas and the Really Messed-Up Fanfic!' and 'The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!' *by the way, that's no typo up there, that's how you spell my site's name * ~
The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!
by Odeena Skywalker (alias Anne Shard)
Chapter 5: Some things are better left unchanged
"Elrond, are you going to make up your mind this century?" Galadriel asked, glaring daggers at the elf lord. "You've been staring at nothing for..." she checked her watch, "three minutes and thirty-nine seconds!"
"Forty-one", Boromir advised innocently. Galadriel gave him a Look, and then shrugged and resumed glaring daggers at Elrond.
"I'm still thinking", Elrond answered, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown. "This is a really tough decision, you know."
"Well then, think faster", Arwen suggested sweetly. "It's quite simple, really. All you have to do is pick one of us."
"And get mauled by the other two", Boromir added with a wide grin. "It's not that hard."
Elrond's head jerked up, then he snapped his fingers in an 'I got it!' sort of way. "All right then, you choose", he said.
Boromir glared at Elrond, jaw hanging. "What...?"
"As the leader of the Fellowship of the Fanfic-Writers, I ask you to choose in my place."
"Who knew Elrond could be that evil?" Legolas whispered to me, while Haldir chuckled wildly. I shrugged.
Boromir swallowed hard, then looked around helplessly. "Umm... why don't we draw straws?" he suggested hopefully.
"No", Arwen stated flatly. "Choose."
Boromir flinched. "Okay then, I choose... err... choose... I choose Faramir to choose for me. I can do that, can't I?" he added, looking at Elrond. The elf lord nodded.
Eowyn rolled her eyes, and Arwen slapped her forehead. As for Galadriel, she just made a face. Faramir looked around nervously. "First of all, let me tell all of you that right now I'd gladly impale Boromir on a spear and then flay him, take out his heart and have it for lunch."
There was a choir of evil giggling at that. Boromir grinned indulgently. "Yeah, I love you too, little brother", he said, giving Faramir a noogie. "Now choose."
"Well, since we got married in the books and I've been having a crush on her for about seven seconds, I choose Eowyn. Don't hurt me!" he yelped, hiding behind his brother as both Arwen and Galadriel glared daggers at him.
"So it stays then", Elrond said in that 'I'm-in-charge-and-I-say-so' voice of his. "Eowyn, kindly proceed to read your story please. The rest of you, listen, then make your comments and suggestions."
"I hate it when he does that", I whispered to Legolas.
"When who does what?" the elf replied, obviously not having listened to everything that had been said in the past five minutes.
"When Elrond bosses us around like that", I supplied. The elf just shrugged.
Eowyn looked triumphantly at Arwen and Galadriel, and then straightened up her shoulders. "I wrote about Arwen", she said, "and about how some things should be left the way they are supposed to be. We all know that Glorfindel, and not Arwen, was the one supposed to rescue Frodo from the Ring Wraiths. Well, this is my explanation as to how this happened."
Arwen snorted loudly. Eowyn smiled sweetly at her, and then she began to read.
Some things are better left unchanged
"Well, that beats everything I've heard in the last five hundred years", Elladan said loudly, making his younger brother Elrohir start and glare at him curiously. "When Hell freezes solid", Elladan added, crumpling the note he had been reading and throwing it out the window. "Or maybe not even then. Come to think of it, never. Never ever."
An offended 'Hey!, came from outside, and moments later the note flew back through the window and hit Elrohir, who had been trying to read a book for the past five minutes and failed thanks to his brother's half, straight in the head. Elrohir sighed, and then picked up the note and unfolded the paper. He began to read it, then he paused and glared at his brother.
"He can't be serious", the younger elf said.
"That's precisely my point", Elladan agreed heatedly.
"...but Glorfindel isn't the one to joke about such things."
Elladan groaned and rubbed his temples, "In that case, I'm emigrating to Gondor. Or even better, Moria. That way he won't find me."
Elrohir shook his head. "Hate to disappoint you, but he can."
"Right..." Elladan collapsed in a chair, then let out a dramatic sigh. "Why me?" he asked, throwing his arms up. "Valar, why me?"
"Essentially, because you're the most skilled rider in Rivendell. Well, the second most skilled rider in Rivendell, after Glorfindel himself. Besides, Asfaloth used to be your horse. Why did you give him to Glorfindel, anyway?"
Elladan groaned again. "I lost a bet. I don't want to talk about it. It was either that, or I had to dye my hair black, wear one of Elrond's old armors and pretend to be Aragorn for a week."
Elrohir made a face, "Ouch."
"I'll say." Elladan sighed. "Looks like I have no choice." He sat up slowly. "So... any idea where Arwen might be?"
Elrohir sat up as well. "No. But we could try starting with the study. Lately, she's been spending a lot of time there."
Later...
"'Dear Elladan. Urgent matters require my presence in Mirkwood at once. I don't know how long I will be staying there. However, Elrond predicted that three days from now I will have to rescue a hobbit who will save the world. Since I will not be able to do that, Elrond suggested Arwen go in my place, and I agreed. Sadly though, Arwen can't ride a horse yet. So I ask you to teach her and send her when the time is right. And keep an eye out for Estel a.k.a. Strider, Aragorn and the Dunedain. I think he'll be trying to seduce Arwen again. Sincerely, Glorfindel.'"
Arwen glared at Elladan and Elrohir. "You're kidding", she said finally.
Elladan and Elrohir shook their heads.
"You have to be kidding", Arwen repeated, sounding slightly desperate now.
The two shook their heads again.
"I can't ride."
"We're going to fix that", Elrohir said sweetly.
"We...?" Elladan asked, turning to look at his brother.
"Well, you didn't think I'd let you have all the fun?"
"I hate you", Arwen said quietly as the two led her out of the study and to the stables.
Even later...
"You can come closer, sis. He doesn't bite, you know."
Arwen peeked over Elrohir's shoulder. "Are you sure? He looks so... big!"
Elladan rolled his eyes. "Look, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Now get in that saddle, or I'll tell Elrond that you've been secretly meeting with Estel."
Arwen glared daggers at him, "You wouldn't."
"Of course I would", Elladan said.
Arwen pouted. "That's blackmail, you know. It's illegal."
"You can sue me after you've rescued the hobbit."
"Stupid hobbits..." Arwen muttered as she approached Asfaloth cautiously. "Did I say I hate you?" she asked as she hopped in the saddle, her left foot narrowly missing Elladan's face.
Elladan grinned. "Yup."
"Good. Then I'll say it again, I hate you."
Finally...
"Okay, you're good to go. Remember, after you get the hobbit, return to the river, then say the magic words Elrond taught you and do some magical stuff to save his life. Got it?"
Arwen nodded, although the look on her face stated otherwise. Elladan grinned.
"Okay then, you're good to go. Noro lim, Asfaloth!"
The great white horse nodded as if in comprehension, and then he took off. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged a look.
"Do you think she's going to make it?" Elrohir asked.
Elladan grinned. "Yeah. She'll do just fine."
"I hate youuuu!" came a pathetic cry, growing fainter and fainter until finally it died out. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged a look
~ The end ~
Insert very loud, almost ear-splitting cheers here.
"That was the best story yet!" Haldir shouted enthusiastically, clapping his hands like a mad man. Sorry, I mean, mad elf.
"Sequel! Sequel!" Faramir was rolling off, laughing his head off.
"Precious! Precious!" Gollum was shouting for no apparent reason.
Finally, after all the cheering died down, Elrond stood up. "Your story, my dear Eowyn, is astounding. I don't know how you know it, but that's exactly how things happened!"
"Almost exactly", Arwen cut in. "I did not cry like that in the end!"
"No, you cried louder", Elrohir said, and everyone chuckled.
"Anyway, I say Arwen should read her story next, in compensation for... err... well, you get the point", Elrond said, his eyebrows wheezing in all directions again. Arwen?"
"Just a moment, father. I have some adjustments to make." Arwen grinned evilly, and then resumed writing.
"Can I read my story in the meantime?" Galadriel asked.
"I think I'll go get myself at treat." Before any of us could say anything, Elrond stood up and took off to the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind him.
___________
Author's Note: *peeks at reviewers from over Legolas' shoulder and waves* Hi! Sorry it took me so long to update! I promise you won't have to wait that long for the next chapter! I've already set out to work on the 'Green Dragon Party' interlude, and any ideas for it are welcome. If you wanna be in the interlude, now's the time to say it in your reviews, as well as what you'd like to do. Thanks for reviewing go to:
Devie Saves: Yeah, many times I wonder whatever runs through my head, too ^_^ And I have some good news - I spoke with Faramir, and he sends you a big kiss! As for Frodo, well... he's a little shy, but he sends you a little kiss, too!
ApocalypticPyro: Like I said, sorry if it takes me a while to update the FotFFW. I'm working on three different fanfics at the same time, and I try to update all of them regularly. I promise I'll try to write as fast as I can.
Lobo Diablo: Thanks!
Lobo Diablo Lone Wolf: ?... (by the way, are you the same person as above?)