First - a couple of answers to reviewers. Zeilfanaat - my first day back at work was frustrating as I wanted to be at home writing. At least I only have a week or so left of this job to go, then I have freedom again. Thanks for asking. Darth Tater - you're complaining that Jackie's fic is like a soap opera? And you're a Sam/Jack shipper? I can see the contradiction, but then I think you all know my opinion of S/J romance by now. Which, I suppose, explains why very few of you read my stories. Oh well, I mustn't complain - LOL. Many thanks to readers like Kittn and Albi, amongst others, who have sent Jackie so many wonderful reviews. And finally, an answer to a question that has been asked several times (although why you want to know halfway through a story how long it is, is a mystery to me. If I said it had twenty more chapters, would you stop reading it?) There is only one more chapter to go. Do you want another story from Jackie after this? Let her know.
Flatkatsi
Soldiers of Misfortune – part 25
The face and eyes confronting Daniel were familiar to him. That haunted look of a trapped existence, panicked and wild – a look that Daniel had seen as he caught sight of his own reflection as the withdrawal from the effects of Shyla's sarcophagus had overruled everything that Daniel had held dear. That withdrawal had almost cost Jack's life – almost – and Daniel knew that without his friend's strength and courage that day and during the cold pain filled ones that followed, the ending could have been so very different.
The dawning of just what Jack was going through, albeit not down to a sarcophagus, hit Daniel with full force. Sickness rose in his throat and he stumbled to the door of the bathroom, letting it swing open with a bang as he leaned against the cool wall, willing the nausea to subside.
A gentle touch on his shoulder almost made him yelp in surprise and he focused on the concerned face of Janet regarding him curiously.
"Daniel?" she asked, flicking a nervous glance to the bed.
"Oh God, I know what's wrong," he whispered.
"I think you need to go rest …" began Janet, her face showing her concern for him.
"No, you don't understand – Jack … he's suffering from withdrawal," blurted Daniel.
The Doctor cocked her head at him, her eyes narrowing slightly as she took in his statement. "Daniel, we've done a lot of tests and …"
"You don't believe me!"
"It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that the evidence points away from it. The drug hasn't really dissipated from his system at all, certainly not enough to warrant the reaction he's showing."
"There's got to be something … please Janet, don't throw Jack's life away!"
"You should know me better than that. I would never …"
"Then do something, more tests … anything."
"I know you want to believe that the Colonel is going to be okay and I wish there was something I could do but …"
"But nothing, Janet. What if … look, you know the things we come across …" He cast his gaze wildly about, looking for something plausible, "What if he's … I don't know … allergic to the drug?" he continued. "Maybe it clashed with the sedatives you gave him. Remember how violently he reacted with the virus from Tuplino's people?"
Janet seemed to consider his words. "Look, I can't promise anything, but I will do more tests. Maybe you have something there. The Colonel's reaction was certainly … well, it's worth a try."
"Really?" asked Daniel, his hope shining out of him, just wanting to hear Janet confirm it.
"The last blood works were shortly after I shot him with the last dose. We'll soon see - every incident that we were aware of was recorded. If there's a pattern at all, we'll find it," she promised.
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Daniel went to find Sam and Teal'c, hoping that they would agree with him.
Sam watched as Daniel's face lit with enthusiasm as he spoke. She could hardly take in the words and she struggled to focus. "And?"
"And Janet is running the tests now," he continued at her prompting.
"So we still don't know for sure?" she asked, unhappily.
"It is all summing up to a logical conclusion," said Teal'c.
Sam waved impatiently at Daniel as she realized he was going to correct Teal'c, stopping him before he started.
"Yes I know - it makes sense," she interrupted.
Daniel frowned. "You don't sound very happy about this. Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm relieved it might not be brain damage or …" She paused; loathe to continue in that manner. "But … God help him if what we've seen so far has been just the beginnings of withdrawal."
Daniel nodded slowly, the light dying from his face. "I know Sam, believe me I know …"
Sam realized that of anyone, Daniel certainly understood just how bad things could get, and she gave him a small tight smile. "Sorry … I …" she began.
"Should we not now concentrate on helping O'Neill? One of us should be there if he awakes."
'Trust Teal'c to put his finger on the button … be there!' "Yes," she responded out loud, "We should!"
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It was some hours later before Janet wearily bid them wait in her office while she retrieved more results. General Hammond joined them and sat patiently waiting for the Doctor's return. Never had a few minutes crawled by so slowly, for any of them. They all sat up a little straighter as the Doctor returned, bearing armfuls of papers. She perched against the side of her desk after carefully placing the notes down, scanning through one of the papers just one last time, as if to reassure herself.
"Janet?" pleaded Daniel, the first to crack.
"Well, it seems as though the Colonel could be suffering withdrawal. His levels of dopamine, testosterone and adrenalin, and those are just the main ones, are way out, which certainly adds up to possibly reason for his behavior pattern. The bad news is that although it has been a while since the Colonel's last injection, the levels of the drug have barely registered a decrease, and that seems to be pointing to the fact that if it is withdrawal, just a very small decrease is significantly affecting him and I don't think there is a way we can ease him down."
"So, what then?" asked Sam.
"Cold turkey," stated Janet. "We discontinue the drug completely. It's the only way to get the levels dropping. Even just a small dose seems to top up the level and it will just go on and on."
"And Jack would never get better that way," said Daniel.
"No," agreed Janet. "But I warn you, if the symptoms he's been expressing are a result of withdrawal, then it's probably only the tip of the iceberg, and it's going to get much worse."
Daniel nodded. "I know.".
"I know you have some idea of what I mean, but putting it nicely, you weren't really coherent at the worst moments. You remember some of it, but I'll bet it's hazy."
Daniel opened his mouth as it to object then nodded. "Uh, I suppose …"
"It was O'Neill who bore the brunt of it with you Daniel Jackson, as well as Doctor Fraiser."
"Actually I was there for the medically required parts, everything else the Colonel dealt with."
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Daniel's thoughts retreated to the hazy pain-filled days of existence, the unreal realm of elation and despair, which stemmed from his withdrawal. He knew Jack had been there for him, remembering him from the fog that surrounded his memories. In fact Daniel couldn't remember ever being or feeling alone during that time … never alone.
Even after he was medically cleared, Jack had taken him home, looked after him - been there …
"I …" he choked a little, "I want to be there for Jack. He'll need me … us, his team – we can help him."
Sam nodded her agreement, as did Teal'c.
"Anything you need, just let me know. SG1 are on stand down completely until further notice. I don't want to see any of you overworking. If you're not with the Colonel you should be resting – and that's an order. Doctor, keep me informed and if you need another helping hand, just call me."
General Hammond rose to his feet and quietly left the office, leaving a surprised and quiet party behind him.
"Well, you heard the General. Go!" urged Janet.
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Sam stood and leaned against the door she'd closed behind them. Her face was white against the gray of the metal as her gaze took in the struggling form of her CO and lover. The fine tremble she felt from deep within was bubbling to the surface and she felt an insane urge to laugh.
"Sam?" asked Daniel's quiet voice, his eyes gently pleading.
Sam nodded at him. Taking a deep breath she pushed herself further into the room. Following Daniel's lead she sat down beside the bed in the plastic chair Teal'c had positioned for her.
Daniel quietly wet a dressing and began to mop at the Colonel's face. Sam so badly wanted to do that herself, but she didn't think her trembling hands could have managed it. She instead jammed them between her knees and focused on the restless Colonel.
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Daniel could see Sam was having a hard time. He felt bad enough himself and he was sure Teal'c wasn't exactly at ease, but nothing was going to get him to abandon Jack – not now.
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The days that followed were absolute agony for his team, but each of them were extremely sure that their CO and friend felt no less agony. He writhed and cursed, pulling so hard against his restraints that Janet had ordered him restrained further, hips and chest buckled down. The areas around his wrists and ankles became more heavily bandaged as the time progressed. The Doctor had expressed her concerns for the Colonel's physical safety, reminding them that he was still severely injured, despite his actions to the contrary.
They had begun to sit with him in shifts, so that he was never left alone. He had periods where he remained reasonably still, but his eyes regarded them with cold hatred, before he succumbed once more to the hazy pain filled world that had him writhing and cursing, perspiring heavily, his bedding becoming soaked quickly, despite being frequently changed by the nursing staff. The ever present bag of fluids was constantly being re-charged, the Colonel not taking any food by mouth and barely any fluids.
Daniel had slumped into a light doze late on the third day. He was tired and extremely close to the edge himself, nerves jumping while he slept, causing his body to jerk him into wakefulness frequently, before giving into the lure of sheer exhaustion once more.
He wasn't sure what stirred him, perhaps Jack had spoken, perhaps not … but he opened his eyes to find himself being closely regarded by Jack's dark brown ones. He stood on shaky legs and moved a little closer. "Jack?" he asked quietly.
"Da … nill …" croaked Jack, his eyes dark and pleading with him.
"Yes I'm here. Take it easy," murmured Daniel softly, moving to touch the older man's arm soothingly, gently.
Jack's lips moved in a bare whisper and Daniel bent close to listen …
He just didn't see it coming.
The impact on his face from the Colonel's head caused him to jerk back and the next thing he knew, Daniel was on his ass on the floor, blood pumping from his nose and mouth.
The sound of insane laughter from the bed made his blood run cold and hurt him more than the actual injuries.
"Easy mark, Jackson!" came Jack's hoarse cry amidst the laughter.
"Jesus … Daniel!" was the exclamation he heard, rather than the door opening.
Sam was beside him in moments, helping him to his feet before passing him some dressings and buzzing for Janet.
"Got your bitch helping you then Jackson," sing-songed Jack. "Nerdy little Geek."
Daniel took a deep breath then coughed as the blood hit the back of his throat and he managed somehow not to retch.
Sam's eyes flicked between him and the Colonel, the distress clear on her face.
"I'm okay," said Daniel, his voice a little thick.
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Janet Fraiser entered and took in the situation quickly, checking the Colonel's restraints as she ordered Sam to take Daniel out, ignoring the Colonel's baiting.
"Colonel O'Neill, please lie still. You're just going to hurt yourself more. I'm going to see to Daniel," she pleaded as she wet a dressing to take some of what she was sure was Daniel's blood off her patient's forehead.
The Colonel flinched away from her touch, drawing himself as deeply into the pillows as he could. "DON'T!" he protested.
"You're still my patient, now behave," she chastised.
Janet managed to wipe most of the blood away, despite the Colonel's evasive measures. Even when he actually spat at her, she ignored the spittle on her coat and calmly carried on, before withdrawing with a tired sigh. She'd felt how hot he was and she just hoped it was part of the withdrawal and not some deeper seated infection mounting. The machines she'd wired up to him showed how erratic his vitals were at the moment and they were steadily worsening.
She carefully checked him the best she could under the circumstances, and double checked the restraints. She felt his body shudder at her touch and inwardly cringed to think how much pain he would be in. As she carefully adjusted the chest strap she heard him utter a low groan.
"Colonel?" she enquired.
"You're hurting me. Undo them," he hissed.
"I'm sorry Colonel, I can't do that," she watched his eyes narrow and she instinctively flinched back as he jerked his head. A slight flush stained her cheeks as he laughed at her reaction to him, and she made a sharp exit, despite the inward battle she was raging at displaying her wariness of him.
Taking deep breaths she went to tend to Daniel. Teal'c nodded to her in the corridor and assured her he knew what had occurred and would stay with O'Neill.
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Teal'c turned as the door opened and Sam entered.
Sam's eyes lit questioningly on the still form of the Colonel.
"He sleeps for now," said Teal'c in response to her silent question. "How is Daniel Jackson?"
"He's fine really, just a bloody nose. It's not broken. Janet put a couple of stitches in his lip, but otherwise he's okay."
"Then he is fortunate and so will O'Neill be." Sam tilted her head at Teal'c questioningly. "O'Neill would not forgive himself if he had badly injured Daniel Jackson."
"Oh, that would be a certainty," said Sam with feeling.
They stood quietly together for a few minutes and Sam suggested that Teal'c go and sit with Daniel, while she sat with the Colonel for a while.
Teal'c seemed to understand her need to have some time while the Colonel was sleeping and bowed his head before acquiescing to her request.
"Oh Jack," murmured Sam quietly, as she pulled the chair closer to the bed before seating herself.
Her insides were churning with fear for him, despite Janet's reassurances that, as time progressed, withdrawal was certainly looking to be the cause of it all, she couldn't help but think of how badly he was suffering. The battle she had fought with her fears and conscience since returning home was becoming mute inside, and only the thought of him getting better now paraded foremost in her thoughts.
She was lost in his face, her eyes tracing his features and despite the bruising and dark circles on his face, to her he was still handsome and she desperately wanted to comfort him.
His dark eyes flickered open suddenly, taking her by surprise and she tried to offer a tremulous smile.
"Sam?" he whispered hoarsely.
"Lie still. Please don't fight us, we're trying to help you," she begged, rising to stand closer to him.
For a brief moment she thought he'd returned to more like his usual self. His eyes held hers for a beat before slamming shut and he groaned.
"Hurts," he whispered.
"You were hurt, but the drugs …"
"Help me, Sam," he pleaded, his voice a bare whisper. "Where's Doc?"
"Janet won't be long. She can't give you anything, Sir. You need to ride it out."
Jack coughed and his eyes clenched tighter still as he gave a moan of pain.
Sam's heart contracted painfully. She knew how the Colonel could act. He'd already drawn Daniel into a trick to hurt him and she steeled herself.
"Christ Carter!" said the Colonel from between clenched teeth as he jerked against his restraints and hissed in pain, his head thrown back, the sweat rolling down his skin, his face, throat and shoulders glistened with the wetness.
"Please try and stay still, you're hurting yourself," she pleaded, her heart feeling the biggest bitch of all time watching him suffer, her head telling her he was playing with her.
The click of the door opening made her look across to see Daniel entering. She gave him a look of concern and he shrugged and gave her a slight smile before grimacing as the movement pulled at his stitches.
Jack's eyes fastened on Daniel. "Daniel … what's going on?" he whispered. "Why have you got me like this? Help me."
Daniel shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry. It's for your own good." Daniel's face showed his surprise at Jack's coherency.
"Dan…" The Colonel's words were cut off with a groan of pain and he once more clenched his jaw tightly, his eyes crashing shut.
"Save your energy Jack, you're not going anywhere," said Daniel, trying to inject firmness into his voice that it was obvious, to Sam at least, he wasn't feeling.
Jack hissed in pain – or maybe anger – and it turned into a cough, an agonizing choking cough. His breath rattled as he fought to breathe.
"Great acting. Now quit it. We're not letting you go just yet," said Daniel shaking his head and taking a seat.
Jack's head lolled to the side with another choking cough and he fell silent, facing away from them. Sam gave Daniel a slightly alarmed look, despite what her head told her.
"God, Jack, I think you could win an Oscar, but you are not going to sucker me in again!" spat Daniel.
Sam raised a brow at him. "Oscar?" she mouthed silently. Daniel gave her an apologetic smile and a shrug.
The unexpected shriek of the alarm from the machine made them both jump visibly and they stood up quickly.
"Jack!" admonished Daniel.
"Oh God, Daniel, he can't fake that!" shouted Sam, moving to grab the emergency call button. Her fingers had barely touched it before Janet entered the room at a run, a nurse close at her heels, followed only seconds later by two more with a crash cart.
"Colonel?" called Janet as she moved around the bed and removed the pillows from his head to check his airway.
Sam and Daniel both winced at the slow trickle of blood that was flowing from the corner of Jack's mouth, his eyes closed, his face relaxed.
"He's not breathing, no pulse!" called Janet and began to undo the restraints quickly, cursing them. The nurse on the other side hurried to do the same. It seemed an age before the sides of the bed were dropped to give them better access.
One of the nurses ushered Sam and Daniel back towards the door and then turned towards the bed, expecting them to leave. Instead they stood silently watching as Janet began to try and resuscitate the lifeless form of the Colonel, the machine's alarm silenced by one of the nurses, but the monitor showed the flat line…
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