Chapter Six
Carter approaches the ER, he stands a few feet away from the door way awaiting the very last second before he has to step inside. He's looking at the hospital entrance, that big door inscribed Emergency where many come to get care in their weakest moments. Those same doors he must have walked in a billion times. An ambulance passes him he watches the EMS rush in the patient. That hospital, that house of life and death is his job, he lost Lucy there, he also nearly lost himself there. He was raised from shy clumsy student to confident ER attending there with the help of great friends and colleagues like Peter Benton and Mark Greene. He looks at the basketball hoop and remembers how he learned that Mark only solution to his tumor was death, and how he left telling him to 'set the tone'. There are so many memories, and although some are painful some are amazing moments that change a person's outlook on life. He imagines how many hands opened those doors, patients, EMS', many were staff members who either passed or moved on elsewhere. He remembers moments he spent with pass loves, like Abby, small moments that he certainly misses. Each and every spot of that lot had a memory, the first time of this, the last of that. He did not want to go into those doors once more, he just wanted to take a few more minutes to take it all in and recall the past. He knew he also had to go in and continue with that young twelve year old he had treated with Audrey, he knew he had to announce to her the death of the parents, and had to deal with social services who had to place this now orphan. This was such a sad case, he had seen many through the years but it seemed like today he just didn't feel like going to it. He stood there again awaiting the very last second of the very last minute before he had to go. He stares blanklessly at the doors and is taken out of his tough bubbles when he sees Dr Parker run by, by the time he opens his mouth to wish her good luck she's already passed. Before Carter can get back into his bubble Dr Lockhart also runs by and once again John has no time to say a word and she's already passed. It seems everyone is rushed except him, like he lived in an alternate reality pursued in slow motion. He sighs and begins to walk towards the doors to once more push them open and face a room of the injured.
(tbc -- Comments Welcomed)